(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "RiffText/User:Chaosvii7/Battels/Im A Bell2"
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Latest revision as of 20:53, 9 April 2011
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to this exciting match! Today we have Member 6 of ShadowMarks, a very bulky chap if you will,
LIGHTNING GUY: He means fat, okay?
with powers incredibly mysterious and unbeknownst to all! Against BELL! Back from the grave, he swears to return Chaos back to the Battel. And with his demonic charm, He'll hopefully do just that and more!
{Member 6 raises his right hand and a sword from the heavens appears}
6: Die.
GUFFAW: I enjoy this individual.
DEMON BELL: ...Ha. I have already become my demonic form. There is no stopping me. {immense fire surrounds Demon Bell} DEMONIC JIBNEY DEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: It hasn't been a minute, and you've already replaced Darkangel as the worst character here. Congratulations.
{Demon Bell Deuces 6.
GUFFAW: That sounds messy.
at the same time, he becomes pure watashi, therefore purifying 6.
GUFFAW: That is good. I imagine it would be unpleasant to be covered in bell sh-
LIGHTNING GUY: Alright then, let's move on!
6 inverts}
DEMON BELL: How do you like me now? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: With all those exclamation marks, it's a wonder we all aren't deaf yet.
GUFFAW: I am a computer, therefore I cannot be deafened.
LIGHTNING GUY: Yeah yeah, sucks for you, let's get this crap going.
{6 Puts his arm on Bell's shoulder.}
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh no, sexual tension! That's the first ingredient of wiki user slash! Someone get me out here! {hyperventilates}
6: My turn. {Slices his sword down the opposite shoulder of Demon Bell and holds severed limb up. Demon Bell grabs the arm and eats it. His arm grows back bloody and with claws}
LIGHTNING GUY: This is pretty violent slash.
GUFFAW: That is nothing compared to some of the files on my hard drive.
LIGHTNING GUY: I did not need to know that.
DEMON BELL: Hmph. Soul reaper mode!
{Demon Bell grows a soul reaper uniform and a zanpakuto appears out of nowhere}
DEMON BELL: You will die at the touch of my Ano Yo Kyoki ["Underworld Insanity"]
LIGHTNING GUY: I assume it would be impossible just to say the English names for these attacks and not confuse everyone?
6: Try. {Arches sword in front of him}
LIGHTNING GUY: Did you just try to break his sword? Why
DEMON BELL: Did you just try to break my sword?
LIGHTNING GUY: Screw you.
Ahem. {sword becomes normal}
{Demon Bell's sword dissapears}
DEMON BELL: Ano Yo Kyoki Bankai times 1 million!
GUFFAW: That is incalculable.
LIGHTNING GUY: It is, isn't it?
{Demon Bell hits 6 with the invisible sword. 6 disintegrates}
{6's cloak reveals blood, guts, poisonous spiders, and a skeleton}
LIGHTNING GUY: Wow, that's extremely gross.
GUFFAW: Your face is extremely gross.
LIGHTNING GUY: Touché.
6: Nice try. {6 Takes Bell's other arm. Demon Bell eats it once more. this time, the arm is a King Cobra}
DEMON BELL: Cobra scythe!
LIGHTNING GUY: dot dot dot
{Demon Bell's arms come off and are replaced with normal ones. the arms and Ano Yo Kyoki fuse into a poisonous snake-shaped sword. Demon Bell slices 6 in half and injects poison in his brain, killing him}
{6 Jumps out of a crack in the ground}
GUFFAW: Somebody should probably pave that crack before the backs of mothers are broken.
4: You just hit yourself with a double negative! You're arms can't regenerate when 6 cuts them off.
LIGHTNING GUY: You really don't know how to play this game, do you?
{His face and 5's appears on the jumbo-tron}
5: He's right. When 6 slices something, it loses connection with the body permanentely. All nerves, all veins. It can't grow back. Anything. It's more useless than 6's grammar.
GUFFAW: The grammar of six is fine compared to that of you butt holes.
Why? He doesn't have any. He can say 2, 3 words at a time tops.
LIGHTNING GUY: Having few words and having no grammar are two quite different things, my friend.
Face it. What you did basically never happened. {Screen turns off}
LIGHTNING GUY: It obviously did happen, because Bell said it did.
6: It's true. {Prepares sword in a defensive position}
DEMON BELL:{now armless} Meh. I don't need arms!
GUFFAW: Sing it, sister.
Although, I think I still keep the Cobra Scythe. Hades Uprising V2!!!!!
{millions of reapers with Cobra scythes break out of the ground. They slice up 6, eat him, and bring him to Chaos's father. }
LIGHTNING GUY: In their stomach. After the digestion process. And everything.
DEATH: YOU! You're one of the guys who kidnapped my son! You'll pay!
{Death reaps 6. He is dead. Forever. End of story}
LIGHTNING GUY: Because simple death is worth nothing on the show. Unless you are PERMANENTELY FOREVER dead, you might as well not be dead at all. Speaking of that...
{Lightning Guy's spirit jumps back into his body. Lightning Guy, now alive again, stands up with a string of drool hanging from his mouth.}
{Lightning Guy begins strangling himself furiously.}
LIGHTNING GUY: Man, I had the worst dream.
GUFFAW: What about.
{6's sword pulls itself out of the ground}
DEMON BELL: A sword? Cobra Scythe, you get a snack!
LIGHTNING GUY: Even the weapons are cannibals.
{the Cobra Scythe eats 6's sword. (it can eats swords. No matter what is in that sword or at it does, it doesn't affect the scythe except making it stronger}
{The sword forces itself out of Cobra Scythe's body, and slices Scythe in half. The scythe rebuilds itself, but now with claw arms, superfast legs, and a mind}
GUFFAW: Man, was Bell powned {bzzt!} pawned {bzzt} something.
COBRA SCYTHE: HISSSSSSS!!!!!! Venom bite!!!!
{Cobra scythe bites 6's sword. It dies}
LIGHTNING GUY: The game's first tragic death.
{6's sword gets up and cracks Bell's face open}
DEMON BELL: {face reforms into a ruby/sapphire hawk head} Caw!!!! Jibney Fusion!
LIGHTNING GUY: Boooo
{Demon Bell fuses with cobra scythe to create a ruby hawk with a cobra head and horns (Demonic Cobrawk)}
DEMONIC COBRAWK: {some kind of laugh/hiss/caw} You will nevaahhhhhhhh sssssstop me!!!
{6's sword performs the zanmato
GUFFAW: Hello, Chaos.
on Demonic Cobrawk, splitting up both Bell and CS. The zanmato also forces Bell back to his original form.}
IM A BELL: ...since when could you preform zanmato? I thought only Chaos... WAITAMINUTE!!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: All caps; no spaces; six exclamations. {singing} Ding dong, the language is dead, the language is dead, the language is dead!
{Im a bell grabs 6's dead bod
GUFFAW Laugh out loud. Bod.
and pulls off his mask. 6 is truly a clone of Chaos}
IM A BELL: As I suspected. A clone of Chaos. Death, you can have this back. Feed it to Cerberus or something...
LIGHTNING GUY: Ask him to feed his son to his dog. I see no problems here whatsoever.
{6's blade dissolves the illusion}
4: NO YOU IDIOT!
LIGHTNING GUY: YOU ARE SO DUMB YOU ARE REALLY DUMB DUMMY STUPIDHEAD
6 TAUGHT CHAOS THE ZANAMTO!!!!!
{6's blade calls other blades and forms into the Blade Demon}
BLADE DEMON: And now you die! {Bull's skull rises from the ground and fits on the top of the headless Demon}
GUFFAW The skull of a bull would not fit such a creature, nor would the skull of a Bull.
IM A BELL: Hahaha!!!! You can't even say zanmato right!!!!!! Ah well. {transforms into a giand Demonic Cobrawk with wings}
LIGHTNING GUY: Hahaha!!!! You can't even say giant right!!!!!!
Ultimate Chimaera! Claws of destruction!!!
{Ultimate Chimaera slices 6 into millions of pieces. He is dead. FOREVER!!!}
GUFFAW Almost like he was ten minutes ago.
ULTIMATE CHIMAERA: By the way, it's past 30 lines. I guess I win! ...Hello?
LIGHTNING GUY: Sorry, you're the only person on Earth who still gives a crap about line count.
BLADE DEMON: Nowhere near it! {fuses 6's original sword with the shadow zanmato and a sword like Soul Edge} Utlimate Zanmato! {Zanmato pierces bell, turning him into reformable, little pieces of metal}
{Blade Demon falls apart and creates a beam of light, which, against all odds, revives 6}
LIGHTNING GUY: what odds
6: Sorry
{Bling
GUFFAW Oh my circuits, what is that thing.
runs in and rebuilds Im a bell into a giant Bo-bobo Robot}
BO-BOBO ROBOT: Prepare to die!!!!! Robotic Scythe!!!
{The robot encases 6 in an unbreakable, unbendable, unfreeable metal block}
LIGHTNING GUY: 6 breaks, bends, and frees the metal block 5 seconds afterward.
BO-BOBO ROBOT: Hahaha!!! Oh, and, NOW it's 30 lines!!!! This is the 31st! I counted!
GUFFAW He is counting from his ass.
THIS LINE DOESN'T COUNT: Y'know(And this is to ALL of the fighters), The Battel needs a minimum of 30 lines. It can go on until the Battel is resolved. That's why it say it needs a MINIMUM of 30 lines.
LIGHTNING GUY: This Line Doesn't Count is officially my favorite character ever. He doesn't stall. He gets right to the point. I love that in a man.
GUFFAW: Maybe you should marry him.
LIGHTNING GUY: {crying} Maybe I will!
{6 calls Soul Edge out and steals Bell's soul upon opening it's eye}
LIGHTNING GUY: It is eye, indeed.
6: Game...Over...
IM A BELL: Not! Actually, I stole that soul from... Uhh... NMSC VANDAL!!!
SECOND GENS: BOOOO
{The soul covers 6 with random numbers, glitches, and
{An African American man with an exploding star on his shirt walks in.}
BLACK GUY: Afronova in the hizzhouse! How's it goin', y'all?
"N*GG* STOLE MY COW!"}
{Afronova walks out disgusted.}
IM A BELL: Whoa. NMSC, you can stop.
{NMSC doesn't stop}
GUFFAW: Herp. Derp.
IM A BELL: Okay... Random Jibney Death!!! Unfair Trial!
{cut to a court. everyone is saying "guilty". NMSC explodes}
LIGHTNING GUY: They do say Texas court is rough.
IM A BELL: W-whoa. I didn't really want him to do THAT much... You gonna be okay? Say, if I lose, can I be a part of your team? But, my number has to be 42.
{4 and 5 appear onscreen}
4: Why would you want to join us? And besides, they go in order of number. If you joined, you'd be 9.
GUFFAW: Three squared makes Sudoku.
{5 pulls out hand saw}
5: Unless you'd like a little "tweak" in the head upon losing.
LIGHTNING GUY: Apparently, Number 5 can perform brain surgery.
IM A BELL: Well, okay, I'll be 9. Anyways, Look, I'd be a great addition to the team! One, I have the power to come up with new and random attacks, and I'm the co-head of a giant organization!
LIGHTNING GUY: Make that dead organization.
PEBBLE COW: Hey Bell, heres a trick. Run around him 8 times. He'll get dizzy and fall, atack then.
LIGHTNING GUY: A tack then what?
IM A BELL: Since when were you a pebble? Anyways... {does what CP says} Random Jibney Death! Supra Sharingan! {preforms a zanmato x1,000,000}
PEBBLE COW: Okay, now you pick him up spin around, let go. He'll go into the sky, with harm.
IM A BELL: Okay... {does as CP says}
GUFFAW: I am pretty sure the initials are PC. I am parsing them as of this moment.
4: WELL, ARE YOU AGAINST US OR WITH US?
IM A BELL: Uhh... {Throws away Pebble CP}
LIGHTNING GUY: I heard the cement is pretty nice this time of year.
With you.
6: Welcome.
4 & 5: NEW MEMBER! WELCOME BELL, NUMBER 9!
ANNOUNCER: NOT AGAIN! This is the absolutely BEST circuit I've ever seen!
GUFFAW: This man has not seen a lot of circuits.
The winner is undecided! But from the looks of it, ShadowMarks gets a new win,
LIGHTNING GUY: Despite it being undecided and all.
and a new ally in it's ranks!
9: This will be interesting...
4, 5 AND 6: Quite.
LIGHTNING GUY: Trite.
