(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "RiffText/User:Chaosvii7/Battels/Team Battel 1"
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Latest revision as of 19:23, 7 April 2011
ANNOUNCER: Today, we have for you, day 3 of the tournament! In the left corner, the mysterious, newcomer, CowPuncher! In the right, as of yesterday, he holds an even win/loss record,
LIGHTNING GUY: This must be stressed as much as possible.
CHAOS!!!
CHAOS: After you, CP.
{Cow Puncher explodes into a mushroom cloud, but is not hurt at all}
LIGHTNING GUY: What an attack.
CHAOS: Well, make the first DAMAGING move.
{Cow turns into a Puma, jumps on Chaos, and making him bleed badly}
LIGHTNING GUY: Wow, he's managed to neglect the rules of capitalization, verb usage, and punctuation all in one line! I see good things from this newcomer.
{Chaos' blood turns black and freezes up}
CHAOS: You do know I'm cold-blooded, right?
LIGHTNING GUY: You're going to need some serious medical and/or psychological help for that.
Well, let's get this battel started! {Chaos transforms into a soul banisher}
CHAOS: NOW YOU DIE! {Chaos swings his scythe, sending CowPuncher into the air, while Chaos teleports above him and sends him into the ground}
{Cow lands}
LIGHTNING GUY: What an action.
COW: Not a scratch on me! JAOLSAMAKEMAKAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{Chaos explodes, get tumpled into a ball, then flys
LIGHTNING GUY: My, oh my, oh mys.
50 miles away, damagly}
LIGHTNING GUY: Damagly? Is that you?
{Chaos clears the red mist, and shows a near-dead CowPuncher}
CHAOS: Shade of the Zanmato. It's a powerful illusion that attacks the inner body of the target. Now get up!
LIGHTNING GUY: Make me, you emo freak.
{Chaos splits in 5, and all of them disappear.}
{Screen pans out}
ANNOUNCER: And Chaos wins!
LIGHTNING GUY: Really? For a second or two, I thought
IM A BELL: Hold up.
LIGHTNING GUY: DAMN IT BELL
No, the battel is still on. there hasn't been 30 lines yet. Wah-Wah-Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: Come out here and I'll give you something to wah about.
Kanjiro: If cowpuncher wants it to be over, it over.
LIGHTNING GUY: You hear that, Bell? It over.
If someone kill
LIGHTNING GUY: Someone kill.
somebody to the point of no return, it's over. If 30 lines go by, it's over. So it could still be on/off.
IM A BELL: Okays.
LIGHTNING GUY: One okay will do, but thanks, anyway.
CHAOS: Hate to guilt trip ya but........YOU'RE CUTTING INTO THE BATTEL!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: My guilt trip was so short, it didn't even exist.
If you 3 want me to take you all on in a team Battel, I have no problem with this. 'Cept I'll have to change the name of the page. However, if it's just you two, I'll go 2-0n-1, as well. Better think fast, too.
IM A BELL: Wha? Uhh... well, if CP's dead, I dunno. I guess a team battel would be okay... But, ask CP if she wants to be in the battel.
LIGHTNING GUY: I'm poking at the corpse, but it won't respond.
{Chaos searches the world for CP Mentally}
LIGHTNING GUY: Challenged
CHAOS: Well, since you all have signed for a group battel, so shall it be. The name of this page shall now and forever be, Team Battel 1!
Team Battel Transcript
ANNOUNCER: Today's battel has probably been the wierdest yet! It started as a normal battel, and turned into this!
LIGHTNING GUY: YEAH THAT'S HILARIOUS RIGHT
The first Team Battel in the circuit. Let's look at the Match-up:Chaos & Bell vs. Kanjiro & CowPuncher. They all have competed in the league, and they all are ready to take each other on! Reminder to all members of the battel: Both members of the winning team recieve 600 ShadowPoints each!
CHAOS: This is gonna be too easy.
COW: Same here. {raises his ring finger; Chaos faints}
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, he flashed the finger at you.
LIGHTNING GUY: The ring finger.
{Chaos simply stands up as if nothing happened.}
LIGHTNING GUY: You can't take that sitting down, man!
Kanjiro: Darn! Ok CP. Here's what we are going to do: I'll take the big guy, you have bell. I can protect you from most attacks, so... ya. Now! {Kanjiro grasps Cp's arms and starts to run. He jumps up holding cp, and then throws cp at chaos.}
LIGHTNING GUY: You get your kicks from throwing children, sicko?
Brace yourself and use cowslam, while i take out bell! {Kanjiro kicks bell up into the air, pulls out his swords, then right before bell hits the ground Kanjiro uses a fire slash hitting bell 20 meters away.} Now switch!
{Cow makes Im A Bell flout,
LIGHTNING GUY: Flout, float, flaunt, flat, flip, flop, floopity floop. Guess what? They're all separate words.
charges him down, breacking his bell}
LIGHTNING GUY: I c you, too.
COW: I call that The Headsmash!
LIGHTNING GUY: i don't get it
CHAOS: {Prepares afronova for CP} I'd think about running about now if I were you.
Kanjiro: Don't worry I got it.
LIGHTNING GUY: Run, sentence, run! On!
{Kanjiro uses shunpo and dashes in front of chaos, locking him into physical combat} If you want cow puncher you gotta go through me, no actually... {Makes 73 clones} All of me!
COW: No need!
{Cow jumps up into a ball, then does slams down on Chaos}
LIGHTNING GUY: That cow is balling, yo!
IM A BELL: I'm on your team, Chaos? Hooray! Hmph! Demon Charm! Release my Ancient Evil!
{Im a bell's charm spews darkness which surrounds Cow Puncher and crushes her into a small sphere. Im a bell picks the sphere up and eats it}
LIGHTNING GUY: There's nothing wrong about this whatsoever.
IM A BELL: Mmm! Tastes like chicken!
LIGHTNING GUY: What. So. Ever.
{Im A Bell's tummy explodes;
LIGHTNING GUY: Well, that was fun to imagine.
Cow Puncher hops out}
COW: I installed a Time Bomb!
LIGHTNING GUY: In his stomach.
{Im a bell explodes. out of the smoke comes Ll e bami}
LL E BAMI: You fool! You have just helped me generate Pure WatashI!
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh yay, more Xanatos Gambits.
And since I infused Professional Patch into my Demonic Charm and it speeds up my trasformation,
LIGHTNING GUY: Transformation, mister.
Kopatches x1,000,000, fuse! Generate the Pure Watashi!
{one million Kopatches fuse with Ll. out of the smoke reveals pure Watashi, who quickly transorms
LIGHTNING GUY: Transforms, sir.
into Demon Bell}
DEMON BELL: Thanks to Chaos's gift, I have complete control of Demon Bell. Now, Demonic Destruction! Unpurely Brainwash Kanjiro! Invert! Cow Puncher, meet Orijnak the Anti Battel Slave! Oh, Kanjiro, you can still fight, but in Spirit Form! Orijnak, Supra-Armor Mode! fuse with Me and Chaos!
LIGHTNING GUY: Did incomprehensible screaming become the official language when I wasn't looking?
{Orijnak transforms into two antimatter suits of armor which surrounds Chaos and Demon Bell}
DEMON BELL: How do you like me now?!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: Still not at all.
CHAOS: There's no use making a blockade. {Chaos uses Afronova on CP, severly damaging him} Afronova can hit the target without me even moving. You're doomed no matter what you do. {Chaos teleports} and I can ALWAYS conquer the problem. Now, onto Kanjiro. {Chaos steals Kanjiro's hat and burns it}
LIGHTNING GUY: You sure owned him.
that stops the staff from coming.
DEMON BELL: The armor doesn't raise our defense. It multiplies our power x1000!!!! Hades Upbringing x1000!!!
{Millions of Grim Reapers break through the ground and attack Kanjiro}
LIGHTNING GUY: Bell's obsession with these things disturb me.
COW: You made a bad choice.
{Demon Bell blasts into space,
LIGHTNING GUY: I hope you brought extra underwear.
turning back into IAB.}
COW: Just the right time!
{IAB's bell breaks in half, killing him}
LIGHTNING GUY: Again
LL E BAMI: Have you already forgotten? I am immortal! If you kill Im a bell, I apears!
LIGHTNING GUY: You a pears?
If you kill me, Im a bell appears! I am unstoppable!
{Ll becomes Demon Bell again}
DEMON BELL: Hmm... what can I do to be mean to CP... Aha!
{Demon Bell steals Cp's arms}
LIGHTNING GUY: wh
DEMON BELL: Ha! Now you can't punch cows anymore!
LIGHTNING GUY: at
Kanjiro: Chaos, you pitiful fool... Once my hat burns up, it turns into my staff, NOW GIVE IT BACK! {A staff appears in Chaos's hands. Kanjiro kinetically
LIGHTNING GUY: whilst moving
draws it back, ripping it out of chaos's hands.} Excellent... Now i have both my swords, and my staff! I wonder how this'll work... {Kanjiro summons a tiger and hops onto onto it, throwing the staff in it's mouth.} Com'n Hotaru!
DEMON BELL: Uhh... why're you riding H*T?!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: Well, we were taking shots at a bar, and one thing led to another.
{Chaos splits into 5 and teleports}
DEMON BELL: Art of The Demon Ninja! Fox Summoner!
LIGHTNING GUY: Duck! Duck! Goose!
{20 Nine-Tailed Foxes appear}
Kanjiro: I'm not riding Homestar tiger, I'm riding my tiger named Hotaru! Shut up! Now. Chaos, I've explained this before, your invisibility combined with cloning yourself and then teleporting, won't work. I'm sorry, but... {Kanjiro whips his hand out to thin air, then, all five chaos's appear, (With Kanjiro choking one.) the other 4 clones disappear.} I have you in my grasp now! CP! Enlarge, to super ultra mega cow, then use your cow fire breath thingy on chaos as i throw him up in the air. Ready? Go! {Kanjiro throws chaos up into the air} Now, i got these stupid foxes! {Pulls out his cell phone} Yes? Hello? Mushi-Mushi. Hi Jirya, ya, we have a problem on our hands. Ya. Twenty of them. Ok. Ok, good. Ya, as many reinforcements as possible. Ok. Good. Bye! {Closes his cell phone. Jirya, Tsunadai, Orochimaru, Garaa, 3 members of akasuki, Ichigo kurasaki, Hitsugaya toshiro, Abarai rengi, Ururu ishida, Urahara Kisuke, and a second Kanjiro appear right beside Kanjiro.} Behold my anime army!
LIGHTNING GUY: tl;dr Kanjiro is a melodramatic bore.
DEMON BELL: Uhh... Is that all you can summon?!! Ha. Rise, Men of Anime REBORN AS DEMONS, Kenpachi Zaraki! Aizen! Tosen! Inu-Yasha! Edward and Alphonse Elric! SS4 Gogeta! Cell! Majin Buu! Attack!
{Demon forms of Kenpachi, Aizen, Tosen, Inu-Yasha, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, SS4 Gogeta, Cell, and Majin Buu rise out from the underworld and fuse with the 20 Nine-tails to create some freakish Million-tail fox the size of a red giant sun}
MILLION-TAILED FOX: Demonic Fireball! Imma chargin' my chakra! Imma firin' my Chakra, Shoop-Da-Whoop!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: As if the battel itself wasn't bad enough.
{the Million-Tailed Fox fires a huge fireball out of it's mouth, destroying the earth,
LIGHTNING GUY: Again
Kanjiro, CP, and al of the manga characters Kanjiro summoned}
Kanjiro: Now to end this! Chaos, I use my scale thing you gave me! Devil's throne on all of this and end the battle!
DEMON BELL: I feel like death. Oh wait, I am!
LIGHTNING GUY: YEAH THAT'S HILARIOUS RIGHT
{Demon Bell fuses with the mill-tails and becomes the Grim Reaper, who reaps innocent pedestrians}
LIGHTNING GUY: The perfect man to idolize.
{Chaos activates the forbidden abbility of the Devil's Throne, which instantly calls his father to the field}
DEATH: WHO DARES HARM MY SON? I WILL KILL YOU ALL! {Raises his scythe and makes millions of dark lights come and eradicate all fighters excpet Chaos, killing them PEMANENTLY FOREVER}
LIGHTNING GUY: but i thought the devil was a liar
CHAOS: DAD!
LIGHTNING GUY: You wish
Those were all my friends! 'Cept when they're trying to kill each other. And couldn't you have tried to spare the red bell that was turning into you? He's my partner.
DEATH: The ones who are foolish enough to harm my son are bestowed unto them death. {Death disappears}
LIGHTNING GUY: I think I like this guy.
CHAOS: WAIT! Come back and revive them. Please?
ANNOUNCER: That was a CATASTROPHIC FIGHT! Only Chaos remains on the field. Will he take the win?
LIGHTNING GUY: Death! Come back! You missed one!
CHAOS: I....I.....I resign from the Team Battel. There is no winner.
ANNOUNCER: OH MY GOODNESS! THIS HAS BEEN THE ABSOLUTELY GREATEST FIGHT IN HISTORY!
LIGHTNING GUY: You're getting paid way too much.
Aftermath
CHAOS: Nobody lived. Nobody won. But the real question is:Are they all really dead? Did my father REALLY kill them? I'll never know.
LIGHTNING GUY: Denial is the first step to acceptance.
Until then, this battel has been resolved.
Kanjiro:So... no sp's for anybody? Oh, and, i didn't die. Right before he destroyed everybody i kinda morphed into a pebble, letting your dad kill my clone.
LIGHTNING GUY: Of course you did.
CHAOS: No. This match was a draw.
LIGHTNING GUY: IT JUST WAS
Nobody won. But at least you're alive after that. Think the others made it out?
Kanjiro: I dunno? But i think i'd rather be dead then be a pebble, you see, my pebble morphing technique morphs me into a pebble that frees me from death, but... i'm a pebble,
LIGHTNING GUY: I had no idea.
do think a pebble would be able to turn me back to normal?!? Oh, and... can you carry me out of this battle field? I'm kinda freighted of those birds circling those lifeless corpses over there.
CHAOS: Sure. But you better turn back to normal soon, I have a feeling a cup battel is happening soon. And with you as the holder of the cup, it should be interesting.
LIGHTNING GUY: Should be, not will be.
IM A BELL:{spirit, still half-death} I will be back! I swear it!!!!
{Chaos shoots a telekenetic beam at Bell and traps him in an ecto-prison like in GhostBusters}
LIGHTNING GUY: Back in your cage, old man.
CHAOS: {a la Peter Griffin} That'll be $27.50. Swear that!
IM A BELL: Uhh... ow?
