Difference between revisions of "RiffText/HomestarEmbarassed"

Latest revision as of 18:08, 3 November 2013

$^$#@%@!!

RiffText/HomestarEmbarassed and all related subpages, talk pages, and images may contain swearing or other themes of an adult nature.
This includes uses of suicide references, toilet humor, overall disgustingness and general fuckery.

Opening Comments

{Open to Lex, sitting by himself at the bar, looking haggard and worse for wear. He's holding a mug of lager, which he downs in one gulp. The door behind him opens, and Chaos walks in and sits next to him. Lex just stares into space.}

CHAOS: Lex? You okay, man?

{Lex lets out a heavy sigh before ordering another pint. Another person walks into the bar. This time, it's StroHersh. He sits on the other side of Lex, noticing his grumpy demeanor.}

STROHERSH: Eh, what's wrong?

{Lex lets out another heavy sigh as he's handed another mug.}

STROHERSH: How long has he been like this?

CHAOS: I don't know, I've just gotten in. He's not doing so good.

LEX: Ugh.

{Lex picks up the mug to drink it. Instead, he ends up pouring it over his head, breaking him from his trance state.}

CHAOS: You need to go home, Lex. I'll drive you there, if you want.

{Chaos goes to guide Lex off his bar stool, but Lex swats him away.}

LEX: No, man. This is something that needs to be done.

{Lex checks his watch.}

LEX: Shit. Time's up already. Catch y'all later.

{Lex picks himself up from the bar stool and makes his way out of the exit. As he leaves, Noxigar comes in.}

NOXIGAR: What's up with him?

CHAOS: Don't ask.

{Cut to Lex's house, where he pulls up "Homestar Embarassed" from his filing cabinet. Groaning and muttering to himself, he picks up the file and opens it.}

LEX: Here goes nothing...

Chapter 1

First of all, Homestar is pronouncing his r's

LEX: arse

like w's, but I just wrote it as the real word instead.
_________________________________________________________

One day, Homestar and Marzipan were at the mall.

LEX: wait did bubs get an upgrade to his concession stand

Homestar wanted a drink so he said; "Marzipan, can I have some money so that I can buy a soda?"

"Sure" said Marzipan. Marzipan gave Homestar the money and he bought a soda.

Then they go walking around the mall. When they were walking, an announcer said;

"The bathrooms will be down for a while."

LEX: for what reason though??? does this mall just pick random times where they shut down all their bathrooms out of nowhere

LEX: because that's a bit of a dick move don't you think

Homestar did not pay attention to this message and kept drinking his soda. He finished his soda and said to Marzipan; "Marzipan, I have to go to the bathroom".

LEX: jesus christ homestar you're like a petulant child why do you have to announce this stuff she's your girlfriend not your mother

"Homestar, the bathrooms are down" said Marzipan. Then it started to rain.

LEX: let it rain on these hoes

"I need to pee" said Homestar.

"You'll just have to hold it, Homestar" said Marzipan.

Homestar and Marzipan keep walking around the mall and then Homestar says;"Marzipan, I really, really, REALLY need to go pee!!"

Marzipan said; "Just hold it!"

Then Homestar started to cry and said; "Marzipan, it HURTS!" Marzipan didn't really care though.

LEX: wow what a bitch

Then they see Strong Bad. Strong Bad said; Hey, Homestar!" Then Strong Bad took a bottle of water and poured it in a bowl.

LEX: wait where did he get a bowl from

LEX: why would strong bad just be carrying a bowl around

Then Strong Bad says; "Think that was bad?" Then Strong Bad pour lemonade in the bowl.

Yellow liquid. That made Homestar cry more. Then The Cheat comes up to Homestar and scares him.

Homestar peed a little in his underwear

LEX: oh jesus

when The Cheat scared him. Then Homestar says; "I can't hold it any longer!" Homestar starts to pee on himself

LEX: OH JESUS.

and the floor. Strong Bad said; HAHAHA!!!!! I gonna video tape this and put it on YouTube!" The next day, Marzipan is on YouTube and sees the video and laughs.

LEX: wow don't support him or anything just laugh at his misfortune like okay

Homestar sees Marzipan laughing and he cries.

Homestar goes outside and everybody he sees said; "Hey Pee-Pee star!"

LEX: it's like high school all over again ;n;

Homestar cries, again.
__________________________________________________________
What will happen next? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Chapter 2

Homestar then stops crying and goes back in his house.

LEX: wait where was he to begin with

He decides to go on the computer, and when he logs onto the internet,

LEX: logging onto the internet? what does he still have dial-up or something

he sees an advertisement saying; " CLICK HERE FOR A 3 IPOD!!!!!!".

LEX: just a srs note here, i swapped "free" to "3" because it picks up on spam filters otherwise

"Wow! A 3 iPod!" said Homestar. Homestar clicked the link and filled out the form on the website.

LEX: i'd take a moment to explain why this is a shitty idea but in all reality homestar is hardly the brightest bulb in the pack

The computer screen said; "You're iPod

LEX: I AM IPOD.

will be delivered in 48 hours". "I can't wait till my iPod arrives!" said Homestar. Homestar then goes on Marapets (a virtual pet site)

LEX: oh my god not even neopets but the shitty knock-off site WHAT A LOSER

and sees another advertisement that said; "SHOOT THE DUCK FOR A 3 LAPTOP!!!!".

When Homestar saw this he said; "Wow! First a 3 iPod, now a 3 laptop!". He shot the virtual duck and filled out the form on the website. Then, the computer screen said;

"You're 3 laptop

LEX: I AM FREE, LAPTOP. I AM FREE!!

will be delivered in 48 hours".

Homestar is so happy for these 3 offers. He tells everybody that he is going to get a 3 iPod and laptop. Strong Bad heard this and then said; "Nothing in life is free, Homestar".

LEX: wise words from a guy in a wrestling costume

"Oh yeah? Then i'll show you the laptop and iPod when I get it in the mail!" said Homestar. 48 hours later, Homestar's 3 laptop and 3 iPod arrive.

"YAY!! MY 3 IPOD AND 3 LAPTOP!!!" said Homestar.

"Let's see it then" said Strong Bad Homestar opens the box that was suppose to have the iPod in it, but doesn't find an iPod... Then, everybody was in shock.

LEX: dun dun DUNNNNNNN

"IT'S A TURD!!"

LEX: oh jesus

said Strong Bad.

Everybody laughed. Homestar looked so embarrassed, so he opened the box that was suppose to have the laptop in it,

LEX: why would you go and do that after already getting a turd

and finds another turd!

LEX: surprise surprise

The letter in the boxes said; "FOOLED YOU!!!".

Homestar was humiliated.

"See Homestar, nothing in life is free" said Strong Bad. Homestar started to cry.

Then, Marzipan said; "Homestar, now you've learned your lesson, never trust anything that says it's free, it'll just be a box of poo-poo".

LEX: wow marzipan you are such an unsympathetic bitch

Chapter 3

Homestar went back home and tried to forget about the turd.

LEX: you will never forget about the turd

He was hungry so he ate some marshmallows and watched some TV. Then after that he decided to go online, so he went on MSN

LEX: two thousand and late

but there were only 2 people online.

“Let’s see, Evan A Martin is idle, so he isn’t gonna reply. Aww, what a shame, Ava-I Love Homestar

LEX: just in case anyone is curious, this is the author's self-insert. i'd be a bit concerned if i were dating someone and i had a contact on msn who's name declared their love for me like creepy

is offline.

Pompom is online, but busy. OH CRAP! I forgot to return this bladder health book back to the library!” Said Homestar.

Homestar went to the library to return that pee help

LEX: what

book. On his way there, his stomach felt like he was gonna have diarrhea

LEX: what

soon.

He was inside the library and waiting in line to return the book.

Then some girls said, “Oh look, it’s pee-pee star

LEX: HIGH SCHOOL

from that youtube video!”.

“Dammit

LEX: janet

Strong Bad, why did you have to put that on youtube?!” Homestar said to himself.

His stomach started grumbling. Then he was finally next to return his book.

The librarian said, “May I see your library card?” Homestar said “sure” but when he bent over to get his library card

LEX: wait where is he getting the library card from WHY DOES HE NEED TO BEND OVER

he farted

LEX: oh no

and then diarrhea

LEX: PLEASE NO

came bursting out of his butt; all liquid.

LEX: NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS

Bursting into the air from his underwear like a water hose

LEX: NO WHY NO WHY GOD NO WHY

showering the whole library.

People screamed and one kid even said “MOMMY! I’M SCARED!”.

LEX: I'M SCARED TOO, SON. I'M SCARED TOO.

The librarian ducked under the desk. Then Marzipan came into the door all happy looking then she gets knocked down on the floor by Homestar’s brown watery stream.

LEX: holy shit

Marzipan looks pissed. Homestar finally stopped pooing liquid.

LEX: what the fuck

He was crying though. But then he started to pee;

LEX: WHAT THE FUCK

all over his feet.

The librarian came up and said, “Here, I’ll renew this library book because you need it. You still have bladder issues. May I suggest books on bowel problems?”

“Fine.” Said Homestar.

LEX: IT'S OVER THANK GOD

Homestar left the library with the books and went home. He took a shower and washed his little butt.

LEX:

The next day Marzipan is convincing Strong Bad to go to the library with her to find a book.

“But do I have to?”

LEX: fuck you your not my mum!!!

said Strong Bad.

“Yes, you have to Strong Bad” Said Marzipan.

They went inside the library and then Strong Bad sniffed the air and said,

“Eww! What’s that smell? And what’s that brown all over the library?”

LEX: so what, like the library just stays in business without it being cleaned like what the fuck man

Marzipan said, “It’s a long story Strong Bad, a long story…………”

Chapter 4

A few days later, Homestar was invited to go out to dinner with Marzipan, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat, Pompom. Coach z, Bubs,The King Of Town, The Poopsmith, and Homsar didn’t get invited though.

So they all went to Sonny’s to eat;

“May I take your order” said the waiter.

“Patrick Star?” said Marzipan.

“Yeah! It’s me! Patrick!” said Patrick.

“I’ll have a salad with crutons, beans, tofu, and a water.” said Marzipan.

“Yeah I’ll have a steak, some baby back ribs, a hamburger with french fries, and a root beer.” said Strong Bad.

“Oh! I’ll have a salad, coleslaw, fries, garlic bread, and a sprit.” said Homestar.

“I WANT A COKE AND FRENCH FRIES! NOW!!!” said Strong Mad.

“I’ll have the baby back ribs with a pepsi.” said Strong Sad.

Bubble Bubble* said Pompom.

“The Cheat will have a diet coke with beans.” said Strong Bad.

Meanwhile, Patrick was picking his nose and writing down the orders.

“EWW!” said Strong Bad; “This is the guy who’s gonna give us our food? HE’S PICKING HIS FREAKIN’ NOSE!”

“Almost got it….GOT IT” said Patrick pulling out a huge white booger from his nose and putting it on The Cheat.

“meh meh” said The Cheat sadly.

While waiting for their food, they chit chat.

“I heard that the library got shut down.” said Strong Sad. “Why I wonder…”

“Hehehehehe…..”laughed Homestar very weakly.

“Because Homestar crapped all over the freakin’ library!” said Strong Bad.

“HERE’S YOUR FOOD!” said Patrick.

"WAH!” Patrick slipped on a banana peel and the food went up in the air and landing in Marzipan’s hair and all over her.

Then the coke spilled in Homestar’s lap.

“UH OH ! I GOTTA POO!” said Patrick running to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna go try to take this coke stain out” said Homestar.

Homestar walks towards the bathroom and as he opens the door, he hears a loud fart coming from Patrick.

“UUHG!! IT’S COMING! Oh, by the way Homestar, here’s your garlic bread.” said Patrick.

“Um, why is it brown?” said Homestar. “Oh, I must of mixed that up with the toilet paper…” said Patrick.

“EWWWW!” said Homestar, as he tried to take the stain out he said, “I gotta pee.”

So he went, but he had his eyes closed so he peed on the floor.

Patrick went to go tell everybody that Homestar peed on the floor (Even though Patrick pulled out that booger and had to poo, he tells on Homestar).

Homestar was upset and humileated and he cried :’(

Strong Bad was laughing so hard and Marzipan was laughing very eviliy.

“Oh I’ll get Patrick next time….” Said Homestar.

Chapter 5

After the restaurant, they all did some crap then it was nighttime. Then morning came.

Homestar wakes up and goes to eat breakfast. He feels depressed and doesn't want to live anymore because of all the embarrassment. :'( He starts to think about all the people who have hurt him and so on, then he cried.

Without thinking deeply, he goes to the bathroom and turns the bathwater on, and gets a razor blade.

He tries to cut himself, But he can't.

"Ow!” Said Homestar. “Screw this, I'll try pills.”

Homestar reaches in the medicine cabinate and chooses some pills, without looking at the label.

“I want everyone to feel bad about what they've done; I'm gonna call them all over to my house.” Said Homestar.

Homestar then calls everyone, even the people who were his friends (Pompom).

An hour or so later, they arrive.

“Everyone! I am going to take my own life ;_;.

I'm doing it in public to make you all feel so bad.” Said Homestar.

Homestar then gulps down a huge bottle of pills.

"Hey Crap for brains! You just gulped down STOOL SOFTENERS” Said Strong Bad. Everyone started laughing

“uh oh” Said Homestar, farting a lot. “I gotta go!”

He runs to the bathroom farting loudly.

“AHAAHAHA! HA HA HA” Said Patrick Star, who was hiding behind the couch.

“When did you get here?” Said Strong Bad

“I was always behind here. Ever since yesterday” Said Patrick

Everyone slowly backs away from him.

Homestar screams and Pompom ran to see what happened.

“AHHHHHH I FEEL MY INSIDES ARE COMING OUT” Said Homestar with a loud fart.

“BUBBLE BUBBLE” Said Pompom, giggling.

“No more suicide X_X” Said Homestar

“I WIN!” Said Patrick.

“Go away Patrick” Said Homestar

“Make me. I can probably beat your butt up!” Said Patrick

“I don't think so. Blow it out your ear!” Said Homestar

Patrick then jumps on Homestar, pushing Homestar off the toilet. He proceeds to punch Homestar in my stomach, and while he does, Homestar farts and diarrhea comes out.

“Stop!” Said Homestar

“You deserve this!” Said Patrick, starting to spank Homestar

“EWW” Said Strong Bad

Homestar then kicks Patrick crotch. Patrick then yelps and falls down. Marzipan comes in.

“Aww Patrick! :( Did Homestar hurt you?” Said Marzi.

“Yes he did. He's a butthole! He pooed on me too!” Said Patrick

“That's a damn lie!” Said Homestar

“See! He cussed!” Said Patrick.

“Lets clean you up Patrick, then we can go on a date” Said Marzi.

Patrick then smiles. They both leave to have a shower together.

“Well, we better go too” Said Strong Bad. They all leave, except for Pompom.

“Bubble bubble?” Said Pompom

“No, it's fine pompom. You can go” Said Homestar. Pompom shrugs, then leaves.

“ugh, nothing works. I guess I'll have to face this a lot now X_X” Said Homestar. “and I STILL didn't defeat Patrick yet. But I will” Said Homestar in an angry voice.

Aaannndd, the rest is to be continued :D

Difference between revisions of "RiffText/HomestarEmbarassed"

Latest revision as of 18:08, 3 November 2013

Contents

Opening Comments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Navigation menu

Views

Personal tools

Navigation

Search

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@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+{{SuperProfanity|words=suicide references, toilet humor, overall disgustingness and general fuckery}}
+== Opening Comments ==
+''{Open to Lex, sitting by himself at the bar, looking haggard and worse for wear. He's holding a mug of lager, which he downs in one gulp. The door behind him opens, and Chaos walks in and sits next to him. Lex just stares into space.}''
+'''CHAOS:''' Lex? You okay, man?
+''{Lex lets out a heavy sigh before ordering another pint. Another person walks into the bar. This time, it's StroHersh. He sits on the other side of Lex, noticing his grumpy demeanor.}''
+'''STROHERSH:''' Eh, what's wrong?
+''{Lex lets out another heavy sigh as he's handed another mug.}''
+'''STROHERSH:''' How long has he been like this?
+'''CHAOS:''' I don't know, I've just gotten in. He's not doing so good.
+'''LEX:''' Ugh.
+''{Lex picks up the mug to drink it. Instead, he ends up pouring it over his head, breaking him from his trance state.}''
+'''CHAOS:''' You need to go home, Lex. I'll drive you there, if you want.
+''{Chaos goes to guide Lex off his bar stool, but Lex swats him away.}''
+'''LEX:''' No, man. This is something that needs to be done.
+''{Lex checks his watch.}''
+'''LEX:''' Shit. Time's up already. Catch y'all later.
+''{Lex picks himself up from the bar stool and makes his way out of the exit. As he leaves, Noxigar comes in.}''
+'''NOXIGAR:''' What's up with him?
+'''CHAOS:''' Don't ask.
+''{Cut to Lex's house, where he pulls up "Homestar Embarassed" from his filing cabinet. Groaning and muttering to himself, he picks up the file and opens it.}''
+'''LEX:''' Here goes nothing...
 == Chapter 1 ==
-<br>First of all, Homestar is pronouncing his r's like w's, but I just wrote it as the real word instead.
+<br>First of all, Homestar is pronouncing his r's
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' arse</blockquote>
+like w's, but I just wrote it as the real word instead.
 <br>_________________________________________________________
-One day, Homestar and Marzipan were at the mall. Homestar wanted a drink so he said; "Marzipan, can I have some money so that I can buy a soda?"
+One day, Homestar and Marzipan were at the mall.
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wait did bubs get an upgrade to his concession stand</blockquote>
+Homestar wanted a drink so he said; "Marzipan, can I have some money so that I can buy a soda?"
 "Sure" said Marzipan. Marzipan gave Homestar the money and he bought a soda.
@@ Line 9: / Line 58: @@
 Then they go walking around the mall. When they were walking, an announcer said;
-"The bathrooms will be down for a while." Homestar did not pay attention to this message and kept drinking his soda. He finished his soda and said to Marzipan; "Marzipan, I have to go to the bathroom".
+"The bathrooms will be down for a while."
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' for what reason though??? does this mall just pick random times where they shut down all their bathrooms out of nowhere
+<br>
+<br>'''LEX:''' because that's a bit of a dick move don't you think</blockquote>
+Homestar did not pay attention to this message and kept drinking his soda. He finished his soda and said to Marzipan; "Marzipan, I have to go to the bathroom".
-"Homestar, the bathrooms are down" said Marzipan. Then it started to rain. "I need to pee" said Homestar.
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' jesus christ homestar you're like a petulant child why do you have to announce this stuff she's your girlfriend not your mother</blockquote>
-"You'll just have to hold it, Homestar" said Marzipan. Homestar and Marzipan keep walking around the mall and then Homestar says;"Marzipan, I really,really, REALLY need to go pee!!" Marzipan said; "Just hold it!"
+"Homestar, the bathrooms are down" said Marzipan. Then it started to rain.
-Then Homestar started to cry and said; "Marzipan, it HURTS!" Marzipan didn't really care though.
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' let it rain on these hoes</blockquote>
-Then they see Strong Bad. Strong Bad said; Hey, Homestar!" Then Strong Bad took a bottle of water and poured it in a bowl. Then Strong Bad says; "Think that was bad?" Then Strong Bad pour lemonade in the bowl.
+"I need to pee" said Homestar.
+"You'll just have to hold it, Homestar" said Marzipan.
+Homestar and Marzipan keep walking around the mall and then Homestar says;"Marzipan, I really, really, REALLY need to go pee!!"
+Marzipan said; "Just hold it!"
+Then Homestar started to cry and said; "Marzipan, it HURTS!" Marzipan didn't really care though. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wow what a bitch</blockquote>
+Then they see Strong Bad. Strong Bad said; Hey, Homestar!" Then Strong Bad took a bottle of water and poured it in a bowl. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wait where did he get a bowl from
+<br>
+<br>
+'''LEX:''' why would strong bad just be carrying a bowl around</blockquote>
+Then Strong Bad says; "Think that was bad?" Then Strong Bad pour lemonade in the bowl.
 Yellow liquid. That made Homestar cry more. Then The Cheat comes up to Homestar and scares him.
-Homestar peed a little in his underwear when The Cheat scared him. Then Homestar says; "I can't hold it any longer!" Homestar starts to pee on himself and the floor. Strong Bad said; HAHAHA!!!!! I gonna video tape this and put it on YouTube!" The next day, Marzipan is on YouTube and sees the video and laughs. Homestar sees Marzipan laughing and he cries.
+Homestar peed a little in his underwear <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' oh jesus</blockquote>
+when The Cheat scared him. Then Homestar says; "I can't hold it any longer!" Homestar starts to pee on himself  <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' OH JESUS.</blockquote>
+and the floor. Strong Bad said; HAHAHA!!!!! I gonna video tape this and put it on YouTube!" The next day, Marzipan is on YouTube and sees the video and laughs. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wow don't support him or anything just laugh at his misfortune like okay</blockquote>
+Homestar sees Marzipan laughing and he cries.
+Homestar goes outside and everybody he sees said; "Hey Pee-Pee star!" <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' it's like high school all over again ;n;</blockquote>
-Homestar goes outside and everybody he sees said; "Hey Pee-Pee star!" Homestar cries, again.
+Homestar cries, again.
 <br>__________________________________________________________
 <br>What will happen next? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
 == Chapter 2 ==
-<br>Homestar then stops crying and goes back in his house.
+Homestar then stops crying and goes back in his house. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wait where was he to begin with</blockquote>
-<br>He decides to go on the computer, and when he logs onto the
-<br>internet, he sees an advertisement saying; " CLICK HERE FOR A 3 IPOD!!!!!!".
-<br>"Wow! A 3 iPod!" said Homestar. Homestar clicked the link and filled out the form on the website.
+He decides to go on the computer, and when he logs onto the internet, <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' logging onto the internet? what does he still have dial-up or something</blockquote>
-<br>The computer screen said; "You're iPod will be delivered in 48 hours". "I can't wait till my iPod
-<br>arrives!" said Homestar. Homestar then goes on Marapets (a virtual pet site) and sees another advertisement
+he sees an advertisement saying; " CLICK HERE FOR A 3 IPOD!!!!!!".
-<br>that said; "SHOOT THE DUCK FOR A 3 LAPTOP!!!!". When Homestar saw this he said; "Wow! First a 3 iPod,
-<br>now a 3 laptop!". He shot the virtual duck and filled out the form on the website. Then, the computer screen said;
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' just a srs note here, i swapped "free" to "3" because it picks up on spam filters otherwise</blockquote>
-<br>"You're 3 laptop will be delivered in 48 hours". Homestar is so happy for these 3 offers. He tells everybody
-<br>that he is going to get a 3 iPod and laptop. Strong Bad heard this and then said; "Nothing in life is free, Homestar".
-<br>"Oh yeah? Then i'll show you the laptop and iPod when I get it in the mail!" said Homestar. 48 hours later, Homestar's
+"Wow! A 3 iPod!" said Homestar. Homestar clicked the link and filled out the form on the website. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' i'd take a moment to explain why this is a shitty idea but in all reality homestar is hardly the brightest bulb in the pack </blockquote>
-<br>3 laptop and 3 iPod arrive. "YAY!! MY 3 IPOD AND 3 LAPTOP!!!" said Homestar. "Let's see it then" said Strong Bad
-<br>Homestar opens the box that was suppose to have the iPod in it, but doesn't find an iPod... Then, everybody was in shock. "IT'S A TURD!!" <br>said Strong Bad.
-<br>Everybody laughed. Homestar looked so embarrassed, so he opened the box that was suppose to have the laptop in it, and finds another turd!
+The computer screen said; "You're iPod <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' I AM IPOD.</blockquote>
-<br>The letter in the boxes said; "FOOLED YOU!!!". Homestar was humiliated. "See Homestar, nothing in life is free" said Strong Bad. Homestar <br>started to cry.
-<br>Then, Marzipan said; "Homestar, now you've learned your lesson, never trust anything that says it's free, it'll just be a box of poo-poo".
+will be delivered in 48 hours". "I can't wait till my iPod  arrives!" said Homestar. Homestar then goes on Marapets (a virtual pet site) <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' oh my god not even neopets but the shitty knock-off site WHAT A LOSER</blockquote>
+and sees another advertisement that said; "SHOOT THE DUCK FOR A 3 LAPTOP!!!!".
+When Homestar saw this he said; "Wow! First a 3 iPod, now a 3 laptop!". He shot the virtual duck and filled out the form on the website. Then, the computer screen said;
+"You're 3 laptop <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' I AM FREE, LAPTOP. I AM FREE!!</blockquote>
+will be delivered in 48 hours".
+Homestar is so happy for these 3 offers. He tells everybody that he is going to get a 3 iPod and laptop. Strong Bad heard this and then said; "Nothing in life is free, Homestar". <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wise words from a guy in a wrestling costume</blockquote>
+"Oh yeah? Then i'll show you the laptop and iPod when I get it in the mail!" said Homestar. 48 hours later, Homestar's 3 laptop and 3 iPod arrive.
+"YAY!! MY 3 IPOD AND 3 LAPTOP!!!" said Homestar.
+"Let's see it then" said Strong Bad Homestar opens the box that was suppose to have the iPod in it, but doesn't find an iPod... Then, everybody was in shock. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' dun dun DUNNNNNNN</blockquote>
+"IT'S A TURD!!" <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' oh jesus</blockquote>
+said Strong Bad.
+Everybody laughed. Homestar looked so embarrassed, so he opened the box that was suppose to have the laptop in it, <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' why would you go and do that after already getting a turd</blockquote>
+and finds another turd! <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' surprise surprise</blockquote>
+The letter in the boxes said; "FOOLED YOU!!!".
+Homestar was humiliated.
+"See Homestar, nothing in life is free" said Strong Bad. Homestar started to cry.
+Then, Marzipan said; "Homestar, now you've learned your lesson, never trust anything that says it's free, it'll just be a box of poo-poo". <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wow marzipan you are such an unsympathetic bitch</blockquote>
 == Chapter 3 ==
-<br>Homestar went back home and tried to forget about the turd. He was hungry so he
+<br>Homestar went back home and tried to forget about the turd. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' you will never forget about ''the turd''</blockquote>
-<br>ate some marshmallows and watched some TV.  Then after that he decided to go
-<br>online, so he went on MSN but there were only 2 people online. “Let’s see, Evan A
+He was hungry so he ate some marshmallows and watched some TV.  Then after that he decided to go online, so he went on MSN <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' two thousand and late</blockquote>
-<br>Martin is idle, so he isn’t gonna reply. Aww, what a shame, Ava-I Love Homestar is
-<br>offline.  Pompom is online, but busy.  OH CRAP! I forgot to return this bladder health
+but there were only 2 people online.
-<br>book back to the library!” Said Homestar. Homestar went to the library to return
-<br>that pee help book. On his way there, his stomach felt like he was gonna have
+“Let’s see, Evan A Martin is idle, so he isn’t gonna reply. Aww, what a shame, Ava-I Love Homestar <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' just in case anyone is curious, this is the author's self-insert. i'd be a bit concerned if i were dating someone and i had a contact on msn who's name declared their love for me like creepy </blockquote>
-<br>diarrhea soon. He was inside the library and waiting in line to return the book. Then
-<br>some girls said, “Oh look, it’s pee-pee star from that youtube video!”. “Dammit
+is offline.
-<br>Strong Bad, why did you have to put that on youtube?!” Homestar said to himself.
-<br>His stomach started grumbling. Then he was finally next to return his book. The
+Pompom is online, but busy.  OH CRAP! I forgot to return this bladder health book back to the library!” Said Homestar.
-<br>librarian said, “May I see your library card?” Homestar said “sure” but when he bent
-<br>over to get his library card he farted and then diarrhea came bursting out of his
+Homestar went to the library to return that pee help <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' what</blockquote>
-<br>butt; all liquid. Bursting into the air from his underwear like a water hose showering
-<br>the whole library. People screamed and one kid even said “MOMMY! I’M SCARED!”.
+book. On his way there, his stomach felt like he was gonna have diarrhea <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' what</blockquote> soon.
-<br>The librarian ducked under the desk. Then Marzipan came into the door all happy
-<br>looking then she gets knocked down on the floor by Homestar’s brown watery
+He was inside the library and waiting in line to return the book.
-<br>stream. Marzipan looks pissed. Homestar finally stopped pooing liquid. He was
-<br>crying though. But then he started to pee; all over his feet. The librarian came up
+Then some girls said, “Oh look, it’s pee-pee star  <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' HIGH SCHOOL</blockquote>
-<br>and said, “Here, I’ll renew this library book because you need it. You still have
-<br>bladder issues. May I suggest books on bowel problems?” “Fine.” Said Homestar.
+from that youtube video!”.
-<br>Homestar left the library with the books and went home.  He took a shower and
-<br>washed his little butt.  The next day Marzipan is convincing Strong Bad to go to the
+“Dammit <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' janet</blockquote>
-<br>library with her to find a book. “But do I have to?” said Strong Bad. “Yes, you have
-<br>to Strong Bad” Said Marzipan. They went inside the library and then Strong Bad
+Strong Bad, why did you have to put that on youtube?!” Homestar said to himself.
-<br>sniffed the air and said, “Eww! What’s that smell? And what’s that brown all over
-<br>the library?” Marzipan said, “It’s a long story Strong Bad, a long story…………”
+His stomach started grumbling. Then he was finally next to return his book.
+The librarian said, “May I see your library card?” Homestar said “sure” but when he bent over to get his library card <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' wait where is he getting the library card from WHY DOES HE NEED TO BEND OVER</blockquote>
+he farted <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' oh no</blockquote>
+and then diarrhea <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' PLEASE NO</blockquote>
+came bursting out of his butt; all liquid. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS</blockquote>
+Bursting into the air from his underwear like a water hose <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' NO WHY NO WHY GOD NO WHY</blockquote>
+showering the whole library.
+People screamed and one kid even said “MOMMY! I’M SCARED!”. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' I'M SCARED TOO, SON. I'M SCARED TOO.</blockquote>
+The librarian ducked under the desk. Then Marzipan came into the door all happy looking then she gets knocked down on the floor by Homestar’s brown watery stream. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' holy shit</blockquote>
+Marzipan looks pissed.  Homestar finally stopped pooing liquid. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' what the fuck</blockquote>
+He was crying though. But then he started to pee; <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' WHAT THE FUCK</blockquote>
+all over his feet.
+The librarian came up and said, “Here, I’ll renew this library book because you need it. You still have bladder issues. May I suggest books on bowel problems?”
+“Fine.” Said Homestar.
+<blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' IT'S OVER THANK GOD</blockquote>
+Homestar left the library with the books and went home.  He took a shower and washed his little butt. <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' http://i.imgur.com/bFMIGHs.png</blockquote>
+The next day Marzipan is convincing Strong Bad to go to the library with her to find a book.
+“But do I have to?” <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' fuck you your not my mum!!!</blockquote>
+said Strong Bad.
+“Yes, you have to Strong Bad” Said Marzipan.
+They went inside the library and then Strong Bad sniffed the air and said,
+“Eww! What’s that smell? And what’s that brown all over the library?” <blockquote class="mft3k">'''LEX:''' so what, like the library just stays in business without it being cleaned like what the fuck man</blockquote>
+Marzipan said, “It’s a long story Strong Bad, a long story…………”
 == Chapter 4 ==
-<br>A few days later, Homestar was invited to go out to dinner with Marzipan, Strong
+A few days later, Homestar was invited to go out to dinner with Marzipan, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat,  Pompom. Coach z, Bubs,The King Of Town, The Poopsmith, and Homsar didn’t get invited though.
-<br>Bad, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat,  Pompom. Coach z, Bubs,The King Of
-<br>Town, The Poopsmith, and Homsar didn’t get invited though. So they all went to
+So they all went to Sonny’s to eat;
-<br>Sonny’s to eat; “May I take your order” said the waiter. “Patrick Star?” said
-<br>Marzipan. “Yeah! It’s me! Patrick!” said Patrick. “I’ll have a salad with crutons,
+“May I take your order” said the waiter.
-<br>beans, tofu, and a water.” said Marzipan.  “Yeah I’ll have a steak, some baby back
-<br>ribs, a hamburger with french fries, and a root beer.” said Strong Bad. “Oh! I’ll
+“Patrick Star?” said Marzipan.
-<br>have a salad, coleslaw, fries, garlic bread, and a sprit.” said Homestar. “I WANT A
-<br>COKE AND FRENCH FRIES! NOW!!!” said Strong Mad.  “I’ll have the baby back ribs
+“Yeah! It’s me! Patrick!” said Patrick.
-<br>with a pepsi.” said Strong Sad.  *Bubble Bubble* said Pompom. “The Cheat will
-<br>have a diet coke with beans.” said Strong Bad. Meanwhile, Patrick was picking his
+“I’ll have a salad with crutons, beans, tofu, and a water.” said Marzipan.
-<br>nose and writing down the orders. “EWW!” said Strong Bad; “This is the guy who’s
-<br>gonna give us our food? HE’S PICKING HIS FREAKIN’ NOSE!” “Almost got it….GOT
+“Yeah I’ll have a steak, some baby back ribs, a hamburger with french fries, and a root beer.” said Strong Bad.
-<br>IT” said Patrick pulling out a huge white booger from his nose and putting it on The
-<br>Cheat. “meh meh” said The Cheat sadly. While waiting for their food, they chit
+“Oh! I’ll have a salad, coleslaw, fries, garlic bread, and a sprit.” said Homestar.
-<br>chat. “I heard that the library got shut down.” said Strong Sad. “Why I wonder…”
-<br>“Hehehehehe…..”laughed Homestar very weakly. “Because Homestar crapped all
+“I WANT A COKE AND FRENCH FRIES! NOW!!!” said Strong Mad.
-<br>over the freakin’ library!” said Strong Bad. “HERE’S YOUR FOOD!” said Patrick.
-<br>“WAH!” Patrick slipped on a banana peel and the food went up in the air and
+“I’ll have the baby back ribs with a pepsi.” said Strong Sad.
-<br>landing in Marzipan’s hair and all over her. Then the coke spilled in Homestar’s lap.
-<br>“UH OH ! I GOTTA POO!” said Patrick running to the bathroom. “I’m gonna go try to
+*Bubble Bubble* said Pompom.
-<br>take this coke stain out” said Homestar. Homestar walks towards the bathroom
-<br>and as he opens the door, he hears a loud fart coming from Patrick. “UUHG!! IT’S
+“The Cheat will have a diet coke with beans.” said Strong Bad.
-<br>COMING! Oh, by the way Homestar, here’s your garlic bread.” said Patrick. “Um,
-<br>why is it brown?” said Homestar. “Oh, I must of mixed that up with the toilet
+Meanwhile, Patrick was picking his nose and writing down the orders.
-<br>paper…” said Patrick. “EWWWW!” said Homestar, as he tried to take the stain out
-<br>he said, “I gotta pee.” So he went, but  he had his eyes closed so he peed on the
+“EWW!” said Strong Bad; “This is the guy who’s gonna give us our food? HE’S PICKING HIS FREAKIN’ NOSE!”
-<br>floor. Patrick went to go tell everybody that Homestar peed on the floor (Even
-<br>though Patrick pulled out that booger and had to poo, he tells on Homestar).
+“Almost got it….GOT IT” said Patrick pulling out a huge white booger from his nose and putting it on The Cheat.
-<br>Homestar was upset and humileated and he cried :’( Strong Bad was laughing so
-<br>hard and Marzipan was laughing very eviliy. “Oh I’ll get Patrick next time….” Said
+“meh meh” said The Cheat sadly.
-<br>Homestar.
+While waiting for their food, they chit chat.
+“I heard that the library got shut down.” said Strong Sad. “Why I wonder…”
+“Hehehehehe…..”laughed Homestar very weakly.
+“Because Homestar crapped all over the freakin’ library!” said Strong Bad.
+“HERE’S YOUR FOOD!” said Patrick.
+"WAH!” Patrick slipped on a banana peel and the food went up in the air and landing in Marzipan’s hair and all over her.
+Then the coke spilled in Homestar’s lap.
+“UH OH ! I GOTTA POO!” said Patrick running to the bathroom.
+“I’m gonna go try to take this coke stain out” said Homestar.
+Homestar walks towards the bathroom and as he opens the door, he hears a loud fart coming from Patrick.
+“UUHG!! IT’S COMING! Oh, by the way Homestar, here’s your garlic bread.” said Patrick.
+“Um, why is it brown?” said Homestar. “Oh, I must of mixed that up with the toilet paper…” said Patrick.
+“EWWWW!” said Homestar, as he tried to take the stain out he said, “I gotta pee.”
+So he went, but he had his eyes closed so he peed on the floor.
+Patrick went to go tell everybody that Homestar peed on the floor (Even though Patrick pulled out that booger and had to poo, he tells on Homestar).
+Homestar was upset and humileated and he cried :’(
+Strong Bad was laughing so hard and Marzipan was laughing very eviliy.
+“Oh I’ll get Patrick next time….” Said Homestar.
 == Chapter 5 ==
-<br>After the restaurant, they all did some crap then it was nighttime. Then morning came.
+After the restaurant, they all did some crap then it was nighttime. Then morning came.
-<br>Homestar wakes up and goes to eat breakfast. He feels depressed and doesn't want to live anymore because of all the embarrassment. :'( He <br>starts to think about all the people who have hurt him and so on, then he cried. Without thinking deeply, he goes to the bathroom and turns <br>the bathwater on, and gets a razor blade. He tries to cut himself, But he can't.
-<br>“Ow!” Said Homestar. “Screw this, I'll try pills.”
+Homestar wakes up and goes to eat breakfast. He feels depressed and doesn't want to live anymore because of all the embarrassment. :'( He starts to think about all the people who have hurt him and so on, then he cried.
-<br>Homestar reaches in the medicine cabinate and chooses some pills, without looking at the label.
-<br>“I want everyone to feel bad about what they've done; I'm gonna call them all over to my house.” Said Homestar.
+Without thinking deeply, he goes to the bathroom and turns the bathwater on, and gets a razor blade.
-<br>Homestar then calls everyone, even the people who were his friends (Pompom). An hour or so later, they arrive.
-<br>“Everyone! I am going to take my own life ;_;. I'm doing it in public to make you all feel so bad.” Said Homestar.
+He tries to cut himself, But he can't.
-<br>Homestar then gulps down a huge bottle of pills.
-<br>“Hey Crap for brains! You just gulped down STOOL SOFTENERS” Said Strong Bad. Everyone started laughing
+"Ow!” Said Homestar. “Screw this, I'll try pills.”
-<br>“uh oh” Said Homestar, farting a lot. “I gotta go!”
-<br>He runs to the bathroom farting loudly.
+Homestar reaches in the medicine cabinate and chooses some pills, without looking at the label.
-<br>“AHAAHAHA! HA HA HA” Said Patrick Star, who was hiding behind the couch.
-<br>“When did you get here?” Said Strong Bad
+“I want everyone to feel bad about what they've done; I'm gonna call them all over to my house.” Said Homestar.
-<br>“I was always behind here. Ever since yesterday” Said Patrick
-<br>Everyone slowly backs away from him. Homestar screams and Pompom ran to see what happened.
+Homestar then calls everyone, even the people who were his friends (Pompom).
-<br>“AHHHHHH I FEEL MY INSIDES ARE COMING OUT” Said Homestar with a loud fart.
-<br>“BUBBLE BUBBLE” Said Pompom, giggling.
+An hour or so later, they arrive.
-<br>“No more suicide X_X” Said Homestar
-<br>“I WIN!” Said Patrick.
+“Everyone! I am going to take my own life ;_;.
-<br>“Go away Patrick” Said Homestar
-<br>“Make me. I can probably beat your butt up!” Said Patrick
+I'm doing it in public to make you all feel so bad.” Said Homestar.
-<br>“I don't think so. Blow it out your ear!” Said Homestar
-<br>Patrick then jumps on Homestar, pushing Homestar off the toilet. He proceeds to punch Homestar in my stomach, and while he does, Homestar farts
+Homestar then gulps down a huge bottle of pills.
-<br>and diarrhea comes out.
-<br>“Stop!” Said Homestar
+"Hey Crap for brains! You just gulped down STOOL SOFTENERS” Said Strong Bad. Everyone started laughing
-<br>“You deserve this!” Said Patrick, starting to spank Homestar
-<br>“EWW” Said Strong Bad
+“uh oh” Said Homestar, farting a lot. “I gotta go!”
-<br>Homestar then kicks Patrick crotch. Patrick then yelps and falls down. Marzipan comes in.
-<br>“Aww Patrick! :( Did Homestar hurt you?” Said Marzi.
+He runs to the bathroom farting loudly.
-<br>“Yes he did. He's a butthole! He pooed on me too!” Said Patrick
-<br>“That's a damn lie!” Said Homestar
+“AHAAHAHA! HA HA HA” Said Patrick Star, who was hiding behind the couch.
-<br>“See! He cussed!” Said Patrick.
-<br>“Lets clean you up Patrick, then we can go on a date” Said Marzi. Patrick then smiles. They both leave to have a shower together.
+“When did you get here?” Said Strong Bad
-<br>“Well, we better go too” Said Strong Bad. They all leave, except for Pompom.
-<br>“Bubble bubble?” Said Pompom
+“I was always behind here. Ever since yesterday” Said Patrick
-<br>“No, it's fine pompom. You can go” Said Homestar. Pompom shrugs, then leaves.
-<br>“ugh, nothing works. I guess I'll have to face this a lot now X_X” Said Homestar. “and I STILL didn't defeat Patrick yet. But I will” Said <br>Homestar in an angry voice.
+Everyone slowly backs away from him.
+Homestar screams and Pompom ran to see what happened.
+“AHHHHHH I FEEL MY INSIDES ARE COMING OUT” Said Homestar with a loud fart.
+“BUBBLE BUBBLE” Said Pompom, giggling.
+“No more suicide X_X” Said Homestar
+“I WIN!” Said Patrick.
+“Go away Patrick” Said Homestar
+“Make me. I can probably beat your butt up!” Said Patrick
+“I don't think so. Blow it out your ear!” Said Homestar
+Patrick then jumps on Homestar, pushing Homestar off the toilet. He proceeds to punch Homestar in my stomach, and while he does, Homestar farts and diarrhea comes out.
+“Stop!” Said Homestar
+“You deserve this!” Said Patrick, starting to spank Homestar
+“EWW” Said Strong Bad
+Homestar then kicks Patrick crotch. Patrick then yelps and falls down. Marzipan comes in.
+“Aww Patrick! :( Did Homestar hurt you?” Said Marzi.
+“Yes he did. He's a butthole! He pooed on me too!” Said Patrick
+“That's a damn lie!” Said Homestar
+“See! He cussed!” Said Patrick.
+“Lets clean you up Patrick, then we can go on a date” Said Marzi.
+Patrick then smiles. They both leave to have a shower together.
+“Well, we better go too” Said Strong Bad. They all leave, except for Pompom.
+“Bubble bubble?” Said Pompom
+“No, it's fine pompom. You can go” Said Homestar. Pompom shrugs, then leaves.
+“ugh, nothing works. I guess I'll have to face this a lot now X_X” Said Homestar. “and I STILL didn't defeat Patrick yet. But I will” Said Homestar in an angry voice.
 Aaannndd, the rest is to be continued :D