(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "Zarel Emails/3"
(Created page with ''''Zarel E-Mail #3''' Zarel is asked what he would do with one billion dollars. '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' Zarel, Homestar, Bubs, Coach Z '''Places:''' Zarel's House...') |
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| + | <big>'''This email has been re-written as of 2014. To view the original, click [[/original|here]].'''</big> | ||
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'''Zarel E-Mail #3''' | '''Zarel E-Mail #3''' | ||
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''{Zarel says "Well that's not very nice..." after reading "Not Your Friend"}'' | ''{Zarel says "Well that's not very nice..." after reading "Not Your Friend"}'' | ||
| − | '''ZAREL:''' ''{typing}'' | + | '''ZAREL:''' ''{typing}'' Well, I was never your friend either, Mr. Hairyama! I don’t even know who you are! But anyway- ''{clears screen}'' A billion mig ones, eh? Er...A million big ones...a billion dollars. What would I do with a billion dollars? What would I, Zarel Mikhail Lewis III do with one billion- |
'''HOMESTAR:''' Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel! | '''HOMESTAR:''' Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel! | ||
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'''HOMESTAR:''' So as I was saying before... Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zar- | '''HOMESTAR:''' So as I was saying before... Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zar- | ||
| − | '''ZAREL:''' | + | '''ZAREL:''' Get to the point. |
| − | '''HOMESTAR:''' I know, I was just saying what I was saying before. | + | '''HOMESTAR:''' I know, I know. I was just saying what I was saying before. |
| − | '''ZAREL:''' | + | '''ZAREL:''' Ugh. ANYWAY...Homestar, what would you do with a billion bucks? |
'''HOMESTAR:''' Well, I'd probably buy my own website and fill it with many different clips and shorts of me and my escapades with my friends. Maybe give Strong Bad a little show...maybe give you a little- | '''HOMESTAR:''' Well, I'd probably buy my own website and fill it with many different clips and shorts of me and my escapades with my friends. Maybe give Strong Bad a little show...maybe give you a little- | ||
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''{Bubs slams the steel door down as if to close the store, closing it on Zarel's hand and detaching it.}'' | ''{Bubs slams the steel door down as if to close the store, closing it on Zarel's hand and detaching it.}'' | ||
| − | '''ZAREL:''' Uh...Bubs? My hand? ''{wiggles handless arm}'' | + | '''ZAREL:''' Yipe! Anyway, I...oh crap. Uh...Bubs? My hand? ''{wiggles handless arm}'' Hello? ''{bangs arm on the metal door}'' |
| − | '''BUBS:''' ''{offscreen}'' | + | '''BUBS:''' ''{offscreen}'' Ten dollars for admission, twenty for the hand! |
| − | '''ZAREL:''' | + | '''ZAREL:''' Oh, you cheap little... |
''{Cut to the Field, Zarel's missing hand is replaced with a bucket. He sits on his bucket hand. Coach Z walks in}'' | ''{Cut to the Field, Zarel's missing hand is replaced with a bucket. He sits on his bucket hand. Coach Z walks in}'' | ||
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'''COACH Z:''' Hey there, Zorrel! What gotcha down? | '''COACH Z:''' Hey there, Zorrel! What gotcha down? | ||
| − | '''ZAREL:''' I don't know what I'd do with a billion dollars. | + | '''ZAREL:''' I don't know what I'd do with a billion dollars. Also, I lost my hand to Bubs. |
| − | '''COACH Z:''' | + | '''COACH Z:''' Sounds like a narsty game of strip poker to me! Anyway, the best way to find out what to do with a milliorn dallers is to start makin' it! Now put that bucket to use and drop me some beats! |
'''ZAREL:''' Uh...sure? | '''ZAREL:''' Uh...sure? | ||
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'''COACH Z:''' ''{rapping}'' These peoples try to fade me! | '''COACH Z:''' ''{rapping}'' These peoples try to fade me! | ||
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| + | '''ZAREL:''' They try to what you? | ||
''{Cut back to the Cappy}'' | ''{Cut back to the Cappy}'' | ||
| − | '''ZAREL:''' ''{typing slowly}'' Well, Sushiyama, I have no freakin' clue what I'd do. I guess, save...for an emergency or something. ''{stops}'' Well this sucks, I only have one actual Zarel hand now | + | '''ZAREL:''' ''{typing slowly}'' Well, Sushiyama, I have no freakin' clue what I'd do. I guess, save...for an emergency or something. ''{stops}'' Well this sucks, I only have one actual Zarel hand now; how can this get any worse? |
<blockquote class=zarel> | <blockquote class=zarel> | ||
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==Easter Eggs== | ==Easter Eggs== | ||
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*Click on "Buckethands" for a scene. | *Click on "Buckethands" for a scene. | ||
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'''COACH Z:''' Say there, Bubs, whatcha got today? | '''COACH Z:''' Say there, Bubs, whatcha got today? | ||
| − | '''BUBS:''' A lucky dragon's paw! Only | + | '''BUBS:''' A lucky dragon's paw! Only ten bucks! ''{Holds up Zarel's disembodied hand}'' |
| − | '''COACH Z:''' Holy gorsh! That's the best looking back scratcher I've seen! | + | '''COACH Z:''' Holy gorsh! That's the best looking back and butt scratcher I've seen in my life! |
''{Zarel in the distance lets out a huge groan}'' | ''{Zarel in the distance lets out a huge groan}'' | ||
| − | == | + | ==Trivia== |
*Homestar talks about getting a website if he had a billion dollars, when he already [http://www.homestarrunner.com has one] already. | *Homestar talks about getting a website if he had a billion dollars, when he already [http://www.homestarrunner.com has one] already. | ||
*Zarel's bucket hand and the Coach Z rap are references to sbemail: new hands. I had planned on giving Zarel the new hands email instead of this. | *Zarel's bucket hand and the Coach Z rap are references to sbemail: new hands. I had planned on giving Zarel the new hands email instead of this. | ||
| − | |||
*Bubs calls Zarel's hand a "lucky dragon's paw," which refers to monkey paws or rabbit's feet, which were believed to bring good luck. | *Bubs calls Zarel's hand a "lucky dragon's paw," which refers to monkey paws or rabbit's feet, which were believed to bring good luck. | ||
| − | *This is the first instance of Zarel's take-apart ability in Zarel E-Mail. The first in his entire filmography was in his [[User: | + | *This is the first instance of Zarel's take-apart ability in Zarel E-Mail. The first in his entire filmography was in his [[User:Lucian Summers/Characters/Zarel|character video.]] |
| + | *Hairyama is the name of a Pokémon. | ||
Latest revision as of 22:54, 13 January 2014
This email has been re-written as of 2014. To view the original, click here.
Zarel E-Mail #3
Zarel is asked what he would do with one billion dollars.
Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Homestar, Bubs, Coach Z
Places: Zarel's House, The Stick, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field
Transcript
{Cut to Zarel's Room}
ZAREL: Tonight on Zarel E-Mail, we talk to the one...the only...er...whoever sent this email.
Subject: MoneyDear Zarel,
If you had a billion dollars, what would you buy first?
Not Your Friend,
Raiku Samiyaza
{Zarel says "Well that's not very nice..." after reading "Not Your Friend"}
ZAREL: {typing} Well, I was never your friend either, Mr. Hairyama! I don’t even know who you are! But anyway- {clears screen} A billion mig ones, eh? Er...A million big ones...a billion dollars. What would I do with a billion dollars? What would I, Zarel Mikhail Lewis III do with one billion-
HOMESTAR: Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel!
ZAREL: I really need to start locking my door...
HOMESTAR: Hmph! Fine! We'll take out outside!
{Cut to The Stick}
HOMESTAR: So as I was saying before... Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zarel, Hey, Zar-
ZAREL: Get to the point.
HOMESTAR: I know, I know. I was just saying what I was saying before.
ZAREL: Ugh. ANYWAY...Homestar, what would you do with a billion bucks?
HOMESTAR: Well, I'd probably buy my own website and fill it with many different clips and shorts of me and my escapades with my friends. Maybe give Strong Bad a little show...maybe give you a little-
ZAREL: Homestar...you already have a site.
HOMESTAR: I know! It'd be called homestarrunner.ne-WHAAAAAAT?
ZAREL: {sigh} Never mind.
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}
BUBS: A billion dollars, eh? I'd say you could spend it all on plenty of fine goods from my concession stand, including-
ZAREL: Bubs...with a billion dollars I could buy the concession stand and put you out of business.
BUBS: {angry} So that's your evil scheme! I'm sorry, but I ain't selling!
{Bubs slams the steel door down as if to close the store, closing it on Zarel's hand and detaching it.}
ZAREL: Yipe! Anyway, I...oh crap. Uh...Bubs? My hand? {wiggles handless arm} Hello? {bangs arm on the metal door}
BUBS: {offscreen} Ten dollars for admission, twenty for the hand!
ZAREL: Oh, you cheap little...
{Cut to the Field, Zarel's missing hand is replaced with a bucket. He sits on his bucket hand. Coach Z walks in}
COACH Z: Hey there, Zorrel! What gotcha down?
ZAREL: I don't know what I'd do with a billion dollars. Also, I lost my hand to Bubs.
COACH Z: Sounds like a narsty game of strip poker to me! Anyway, the best way to find out what to do with a milliorn dallers is to start makin' it! Now put that bucket to use and drop me some beats!
ZAREL: Uh...sure?
{Zarel drums on the buckets to a rhythmic beat}
COACH Z: {rapping} These peoples try to fade me!
ZAREL: They try to what you?
{Cut back to the Cappy}
ZAREL: {typing slowly} Well, Sushiyama, I have no freakin' clue what I'd do. I guess, save...for an emergency or something. {stops} Well this sucks, I only have one actual Zarel hand now; how can this get any worse?
NOTICEYou have one new message.
ZAREL: Huh. I wonder what this could be.
Subject: BuckethandsDear Zarel,
How do you type with a bucket for a hand?
Sincerely,
Homestar
{Zarel lets out a huge groan, The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Buckethands" for a scene.
Easter Egg Transcript
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}
COACH Z: Say there, Bubs, whatcha got today?
BUBS: A lucky dragon's paw! Only ten bucks! {Holds up Zarel's disembodied hand}
COACH Z: Holy gorsh! That's the best looking back and butt scratcher I've seen in my life!
{Zarel in the distance lets out a huge groan}
Trivia
- Homestar talks about getting a website if he had a billion dollars, when he already has one already.
- Zarel's bucket hand and the Coach Z rap are references to sbemail: new hands. I had planned on giving Zarel the new hands email instead of this.
- Bubs calls Zarel's hand a "lucky dragon's paw," which refers to monkey paws or rabbit's feet, which were believed to bring good luck.
- This is the first instance of Zarel's take-apart ability in Zarel E-Mail. The first in his entire filmography was in his character video.
- Hairyama is the name of a Pokémon.
