Difference between revisions of "RiffText/Green Grass and High Tides Forever!/4"

Latest revision as of 13:41, 7 December 2013

BANG! POW! ZING! INSERT SUPERMAN SOUND EFFECT HERE!

GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER

{Cut to Emerl and Gemerl in the field.}

EMERL: Man, I wish I had a new friend to play with. My YTP friends all keep dying because I lethally harm them.

LIGHTNING GUY: I wonder why it's hard for you to make friends.

GEMERL: I feel for ya, brother.

EMERL: Oh, I wish we had some cool new friend!

?????: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-

LIGHTNING GUY: ????? perfectly represents the anguish I feel when I read this.

{Jeran falls from the sky and lands flat on his face}

JERAN: Ow...did Kass drop me out of a plane?

EMERL: {With only 2 incredibly small eyes on his face} ZOHMYGODANEWFRIENDFELLFROMTHESKYKTHXGA4WD.

LIGHTNING GUY: PUTTINGTHEWORDSYOUSAYTOGETHERDOESNOTMAKEYOUCOOLALSOKILLYOURSELF

GEMERL: And who are you?

JERAN: {notices Gemerl} AAAH! Wait...you're not Darigan. My name is Jeran.

DALEK: Oh my. Neopets.

LIGHTNING GUY: My thoughts exactly.

JERAN: Oh my. Doctor Who.

LIGHTNING GUY: My exact thoughts.

DALEK: Goodness Gracious. A Lupe.

LIGHTNING GUY: Get Out.

JERAN: Uh...ok. So...nice to meet you all! Wait...what are your names?

DALEK: I have no name. I'm Dalek. I'm from the 1970's Series.

LIGHTNING GUY: Which 1970's series? All in the Family?

JERAN: Nice to meet you, Dalek. {to Emerl and Gemerl} And what about you two robots?

IORI: {falls from the top of the screen} Ow! I'm never skydiving again.

JERAN: Did you get kicked out of a plane by Kass too?

LIGHTNING GUY: Yes. He totally wasn't skydiving, which one would assume from him saying "I'm never skydiving again."

IORI: No, I went skydiving.

LIGHTNING GUY: NO, WE JUST WENT OVER THIS.

Wait, who are you? I haven't seen you around here.

JERAN: My name is Jeran.

IORI: Ha, Jeran sounds like a girls name!

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm the only fellow who can ridicule people's name here, I-bore-i.

PATRICK: {comes in} Iori, don't insult.... whoever this person is.

LIGHTNING GUY: He just said his name was Jeran. I knew you were an idiot, but I didn't know you had short-term memory loss.

He looks like a Neopet.

JERAN: I am. I've saved lives from evil forces in Meridell, and I had set off on a new quest. The King had ordered me to disgrace Lord Kass, so I got out the old stinkbombs I had when I was young. I spotted his castle on a nearby cliff, and I...erm...slipped.

{Lightning Guy is heard snoring.}

PATRICK: Ah yes, Meridell.

KANO: {lightning strikes; Kano appears} I'M INVINCIBLE!

LIGHTNING GUY: (wakes up) Damn it, Kano! I was planning on sleeping through this entire episode! Why did you have to go and abuse lightning again?

PATRICK: {to Kano} You're a looney. {Kano shoots lightning at Patrick who falls over afterwards} I'm okay!

KANO: Who's this?

LIGHTNING GUY: "This" being a pronoun that could apply to anybody, but why not make your readers play the guessing game?

PATRICK: Some Lupe knight named Jeran.

LIGHTNING GUY: And Jeran wins!

JERAN: Nice to meet you. {thinking} Urgh. I don't like this guy...

KANO: I read your mind, 'foo!

LIGHTNING GUY: NO

Why don't you like me? I just met you sorta.

JERAN: {thoughts} This guy...he's got quite the power...his power level must be like...over 9000 or something!

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm pretty sure he's established that he can read your mind. Also, you suck.

{normal} Sorry for the misunderstanding, Kano. It's nice to meet you.

KANO: Thank you, I do got quite the power.

LIGHTNING GUY: NO

It was nice to meet you too.

JERAN: So before anyone asks, what kind of stuff do I do?

LIGHTNING GUY: Nobody was going to ask.

Well, I'm sick nasty with a sword,

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm sure you are.

I can tear a Mr. Hedgehog into bits,

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm sure you can.

and...I'm pretty dang sweet with a guitar. Yes, I'm not just a Meridell knight.

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm sure you aren't.

PATRICK: Guitar, eh?

JERAN: Yesh.

IORI: Your name still sounds like a girl's name!

LIGHTNING GUY: Iori once again demonstrates her uselessness.

PATRICK: Be's quiet! {punches Iori}

LIGHTNING GUY: For once, Patrick does something I like...while saying something I hate.

GEMERL: Now that that's over, {Turns arms into machine guns and points at Jeran's face.} STATE YOU BUSINESS HERE.

JERAN: Um...what do you guys do here for a living? What's this show about?

LIGHTNING GUY: I don't think even the writers know the answers to those questions.

GEMERL: I said...STATE...YOUR...BUISNESS.

DALEK: Actually, you said "State YOU Business.

LIGHTNING GUY: Dalek caught a spelling error before me? What messed-up universe am I living in?

...Oh yeah, this is pre-emptive. {An Army of Daleks fly in.}

GEMERL: I really hate you guys.

LIGHTNING GUY: You're not the only one.

DALEK: We're not big fans of you either! You're rude, arrogant, and annoying!

LIGHTNING GUY: That's just called "blending in with the crowd".

Emerl however, is really cool.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's the first funny thing that anybody's said in this series.

{Cut to Emerl, slicing his hand off with a katana.}

EMERL: {Like Salad Fingers} I like it when the yellow sparks come out.

{Cut back.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Did GGaHTF just do a cutaway gag? It is now beyond redemption.

DALEK: I said he's cool, not smart!

GEMERL: But he just quoted an unpopular flash series!

EMERL:...{FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}

LIGHTNING GUY: There's nothing annoying about this guy! He's the poster boy for cool!

GEMERL: Anyways, we still need to sort out what's up with the blue dude.

JCM: Did somebody ask for me?
LIGHTNING GUY: Get out of here, JCM. Nobody likes your style.

Why don't you go blow up Hotel Mario and impale Mario and Luigi on a giant needle?

LIGHTNING GUY: Because it's immoral and wrong and

DALEK: Good idea! {Cut to Hotel mario, in which Dalek comes in and blasts it. Mario and luigi fly out, and get impaled into a spike pit.} Thanks Scorpion! {Cut back.}

GEMERL: Well, let's get to interrogating that Jeran dude...

DALEK: Ok. STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR BE EX-TER-MIN-AT-ED!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Ex-cru-ci-at-ing.

SCORPION: {flys in}

LIGHTNING GUY: Flies in

Uh, Dalek? The CD-I Mario Bros didn't get killed... The real ones did.

KANO: I'll go and ressurect them.

LIGHTNING GUY: Resurrect them.

CD-I MARIO: {comes in with CD-I Luigi} What happened to our Hotel?!?!

DALEK: SILENCE!!! {Imaples them both with a solid lazer blast.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Impales them both with a solid laser blast. Is spellcheck foreign to you people?

PATRICK: Hey, be nice to them. Once you get to know them, they're not so bad.

LIGHTNING GUY: They're even worse.

CD-I MARIO: If you need instructions, check out the enclosed instruction book!

PATRICK: Nevermind then.

DALEK: {Blasts CD-i Mario and Luigi again. They die.}

LIGHTNING GUY: {Mocks the writer's use of a line of dialogue that doesn't have any actual dialogue.}

PATRICK: But would you quit killing them?

CD-I MARIO: Please? It's not nice!

PATRICK: You get a gold medal for pointing out the obvious.

LIGHTNING GUY: Patrick would be the kind of person to reward people for pointing out the obvious.

CD-I MARIO: Thanks!

DALEK: Fine.. I'll stop killing them. ..... {Turns around, and burns CD-I Mario and Luigi with a flamethrower, scarring them hidiously. They are still barely alive.} I didn't say anything about mortally wounding them!

PATRICK: Don't mortally wound them.....to much times.

LIGHTNING GUY: But much times is an awesome place! I get all of my times from there!

CD-I LUIGI: Yeah- What?!?

GEMERL: I could really care less what you tell me to do. {Impales CD-I Mario and CD-I Luigi on a spear}

PATRICK: Ack! Why'd you kill the real Mario Bros?

LIGHTNING GUY: "They're the real Mario Bros now because I said so."

KANO: I'm on it! {ressurects the real Mario Bros again}

CD-I MARIO: I think we should go now.

LIGHTNING GUY: We all think you should go now.

CD-I LUIGI: Good idea! {presses a button that has "Teleport Outta Here!" on it and they do so}

GEMERL: The real Mario Bros. Don't exist in this world. This is YOUTUBEPOOP World, not BLOCKBUSTER FAVORITES World.

LIGHTNING GUY: wat.

DALEK: But I'm not a ytp character, but I'm here!

{Basil Fawlty comes in.}

BASIL: I'LL DO THE FUNNY WALK!!

LIGHTNING GUY: I repeat: wat.

SHAO KAHN: {enters} What is going on?

PATRICK: Gemerl killed the Mario Bros and Kano ressurected them.

SHAO KAHN: {points to Gemerl} YOU SUCK!

LIGHTNING GUY: {points to every single character} YOU SUCK AS WELL!

GEMERL: They weren't the real Mario Bros. Get over it!

KANO: Yeah they were.

LUIGI: I'm-a never forviving you-a for this!

LIGHTNING GUY: Vood for you.

SEPHIROTH: Get over it!

GEMERL: The REAL Mario Bros. are in all of the games. The CD-I ones appear in YTP. We're in YTP World, where only us, the Wiki Users, and YTP PEOPLE exist. The CD-I's are the only YTP Mari people ere, so therefore, they are the ones I killed.

PATRICK: But not if you typed in Mario/Luigi without the CD-I part at the beginning. And the real Mario Bros do come here often.

LIGHTNING GUY: is this argument seriously happening

GEMERL: Well, it shouldn't take much mental comprehension to realize the Mario Brothers I;m

LIGHTNING GUY: I have the strangest feeling that I;m missing something here.

talking about. I only hate one group of them, out of 1.

KANO: You hate everybody! You're like, the worst character in the series!

LIGHTNING GUY: That doesn't mean much coming from the worst character in the series.

PATRICK: Whoa, goin' overboard there, Kano!

GEMERL: Well, I don't hate the Mario Brothers! Just The Crappy CD-I ones!

KANO: Like I said, you hate everybody.

LIGHTNING GUY: Said the person who everybody hates.

PATRICK: Still going overboard.

KANO: SILENCE! {hits Patrick with lightning}

LIGHTNING GUY: What did that lightning ever do to you?

GEMERL: Everyone hates the CD-I's though.

PATRICK: ....Right.

LIGHTNING GUY: dot dot dot dot

GEMERL: So then that's a good enough reason to kill them and not be hated.

PATRICK: I guess, but you keep killing them and we can't cope with them.

GEMERL: But it's better not to hate than not to cope.

LIGHTNING GUY: Is he getting philosophical on us?

PATRICK: Right.

GEMERL: Then there shouldn't be anything wrong with me Killing, Impaling, torching, skinning, whipping, sicking dangerous animals on, shooting, ramming into, driving boats into, blowing up, drugging, smashing, bashing, pushing, or Owning the CD-I Mario Brothers. So I still don't uderstand

LIGHTNING GUY: Udder stand,

why you're angry at me for doing so.

PATRICK: Your reverse psychology will not work on me this time! {gets jetpack from hammerspace} To the BatCave! {flys away, flys back and throws jetpack away}

LIGHTNING GUY: There was a point in that, right?

Try not to kill everybody so much.

LIGHTNING GUY: Right?

GEMERL: Can do. {blows up the jetpack}

PATRICK: Alright. ...Now we just have to wait for RyanBluefox to sign on and update.

EMERL: Well, let's hope he realizes that we changed his username. I mean {FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Ha ha ha ha hate.

IORI: Hey Ermac!

PATRICK: His name is Emerl, not Ermac.

IORI: I mean Emerl!

LIGHTNING GUY: There was a point in that, right?

EMERL: Hello, Iori. How's challenges?

GEMERL: Shut up. Now, what are we supposed to do for less than 24 hours?

EMERL: Dance Pawty?

LIGHTNING GUY: Die.

GEMERL: Uh...

IORI: Nah, dance pawtys are lame. I have an idea!

PATRICK: Monopoly?

IORI: No, Mono- yes.

LIGHTNING GUY: Mono-yes sounds like a cool game.

GEMERL: You guys can play Monopoly. I'll bet with Emerl.

EMERL: And what do you want to bet?

GEMERL: I bet you 20 bucks you can't Run a blog!

LIGHTNING GUY: There was a point in that, right?

EMERL: I'll prove you wrong! {runs offscreen}

CARTOON LUIGI: {runs onscreen} Somebody hide me! Some guy called Shoa Khan, or Kahnny Shoa is after me!

LIGHTNING GUY: Or maybe his name was Shoaby Doaby Doo..

IORI: Shao Kahn?

CARTOON LUIGI: Yes! Hide me!

GEMERL: Shao Kahn! He's over there! {points to Cartoon Luigi}

LIGHTNING GUY: Gemerl is a psychopath and a snitch!

CARTOON LUIGI: .....I hate you.

SHAO KAHN: YOU WILL DIE, MORTAL.

CARTOON LUIGI: Ah! {notices a ? block and hits it, a fire flower comes out and Cartoon Luigi gets it} Take this, Kahnny! {shoots many fireballs at Shao Kahn}

SHAO KAHN: Ah! Fireballs! You found out my weakness of the day!

LIGHTNING GUY: His weakness tomorrow will be the power of love.

NNNOOOOOOOOOO- {turns into stone and explodes}

CARTOON YOSHI: Fireballs, yum!

LIGHTNING GUY: Fireballs give you bad breath, you know.

CARTOON LUIGI: I win! Shao Kahn is no more! I am the supreme MK warrior! Yay!

KANO: What did you say?

CARTOON LUIGI: Uh, you are the supreme MK warrior.

LIGHTNING GUY: Being the supreme warrior of a video game is as high an honor as appearing in a wiki user fanstuff.

GEMERL:...Until everyone thinks he died again.

M. BISON: YES! YES!

LIGHTNING GUY: What? Who? How?

KANO: What? Did you win the lottery or something?

GEMERL: No, he's just suprised

LIGHTNING GUY: SOOPRIZED

you're not on a Hollywood Game show.

KANO: Why would I be on a Hollywood game show?

GEMERL: Eeeeeexxaactly.

JERAN: Oh hey, guys. Ryan's back from vacation so he can write for me again.

LIGHTNING GUY: Than you for informing us on something we never cared about.

{A Bunch of Jawas come over, and knock Dalek over, and then start to carry him.}

DALEK: AHH!! HELP ME!!!

JERAN: I think Emerl should've said "...{FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}" after my line.

LIGHTNING GUY: No, he shouldn't have. Stop encouraging him.

DALEK: Help me!!!

KANO: {Shoots the Jawas with his l*ser-eye-thing. The Jawas are now piles of ash.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Great job setting off the spam filter. I went ahead and censored the offensive word, but you better not do it again!

GEMERL: Well, he's trying to make a blog. Now, really, what do you want? Why are you here?

JERAN: Can I join you guys in this...series thing?

GEMERL: Fine. I guess. So, let's all say goodbye.

EVERYONE: Goodbye! See you next episode!

LIGHTNING GUY: It's not like I have a choice.

{The episode ends.}