(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "RiffText/AruseusEmails/danestar"
m (Starting the new year off just right. 35/110 Aruseus Emails riffed to oblivion) |
m (I am not subtle at all) |
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| Line 26: | Line 26: | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' Correct. | '''ARUSEUS:''' Correct. | ||
| − | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Just because it says "Dan v. the World" doesn't mean Dan gets to be a colossal dickbag with no redeemable qualities who we're apparently supposed to root for, despite the antagonists being 1,000% better than him in every way.<br> | + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Just because it says "Dan High-Summoner v. the World" doesn't mean Dan gets to be a colossal dickbag with no redeemable qualities who we're apparently supposed to root for, despite the antagonists being 1,000% better than him in every way.<br> |
'''NOXIGAR:''' GO ANTAGONISTS WOOOOOOOO<br> | '''NOXIGAR:''' GO ANTAGONISTS WOOOOOOOO<br> | ||
''{Noxigar falls down stairs}''</blockquote> | ''{Noxigar falls down stairs}''</blockquote> | ||
| Line 42: | Line 42: | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' ''{typing}'' Umm...don't you mean Cookman? Ah well. Thanks for calling me cool. We don't really see much of Danestar. | '''ARUSEUS:''' ''{typing}'' Umm...don't you mean Cookman? Ah well. Thanks for calling me cool. We don't really see much of Danestar. | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote'''NAMINE:''' Is Danestar an amalgamation of Dane Cook and Homestar Runner? I shudder to think of what Danestar could be...</blockquote> | ||
'''CYRUS:''' ''{walks in}'' I never really seem to include Danestar. He was originally just a character to show off. | '''CYRUS:''' ''{walks in}'' I never really seem to include Danestar. He was originally just a character to show off. | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' Why do you constantly interfere with your own written transcript? Won't it cause a paradox thingy? | '''ARUSEUS:''' Why do you constantly interfere with your own written transcript? Won't it cause a paradox thingy? | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' When intangibleness is mixing up with volatility<br> | ||
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' THE PROTAGONIST IN MEEEEEEEE<br> | ||
| + | ''{Noxigar continues to fall down stairs}''<br> | ||
| + | ''{It keeps happening}''</blockquote> | ||
'''CYRUS:''' Nobody can just magically appear in a transcript! I just write myself in there! | '''CYRUS:''' Nobody can just magically appear in a transcript! I just write myself in there! | ||
| Line 52: | Line 59: | ||
'''CYRUS:''' So as I was... | '''CYRUS:''' So as I was... | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' "saying..."</blockquote> | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' Meh? | '''ARUSEUS:''' Meh? | ||
| Line 62: | Line 71: | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' I love your comedy, Cookman! | '''ARUSEUS:''' I love your comedy, Cookman! | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' '''''MY JOKES MEAN SO MUCH TO ME'''''</blockquote> | ||
'''DANESTAR:''' Thanks! Hey, you guys ever wonder, when you walk into a public restroom, everything is freakin' wet? | '''DANESTAR:''' Thanks! Hey, you guys ever wonder, when you walk into a public restroom, everything is freakin' wet? | ||
| Line 70: | Line 81: | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' Argh! Why is it always wet in these restrooms? | '''ARUSEUS:''' Argh! Why is it always wet in these restrooms? | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Because of the following: Urine, toilet water, sink water, the fact the restroom has a shower locker in it, because people mix drinks in the restrooms, because people drink in the restrooms... y'know what? I could go on.</blockquote> | ||
'''HOMESTAR:''' I know! Can you believe it? | '''HOMESTAR:''' I know! Can you believe it? | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' Now I'm going to have to de-sanitize my foot again...if that's a word... | '''ARUSEUS:''' Now I'm going to have to de-sanitize my foot again...if that's a word... | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Do you wear shoes, Arceus?</blockquote> | ||
''{Cut back to Stage}'' | ''{Cut back to Stage}'' | ||
| Line 82: | Line 97: | ||
'''DANESTAR:''' Those things are evil! | '''DANESTAR:''' Those things are evil! | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' I guess that's a no.</blockquote> | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' Just like Furbies! They scare me! | '''ARUSEUS:''' Just like Furbies! They scare me! | ||
| Line 90: | Line 107: | ||
'''ARUSEUS:''' ''{typing}'' But what scares me more is...Wiki User Crossovers. Except for Cyrus, he's cool. | '''ARUSEUS:''' ''{typing}'' But what scares me more is...Wiki User Crossovers. Except for Cyrus, he's cool. | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>''{Namine boos at Arceus}''</blockquote> | ||
'''CYRUS:''' Got that right. | '''CYRUS:''' Got that right. | ||
| Line 100: | Line 119: | ||
'''CYRUS:''' You just type something and it happens. | '''CYRUS:''' You just type something and it happens. | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Hey, Noxigar! I warned you about the stairs multiple times.<br> | ||
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' It keeps happening!<br> | ||
| + | ''{It keeps happening}''</blockquote> | ||
''{Cyrus takes out the Talon 564, with the previous 5 lines and actions on it's screen, Cyrus types: "Aruseus' left leg disappears" and the types action occurs}'' | ''{Cyrus takes out the Talon 564, with the previous 5 lines and actions on it's screen, Cyrus types: "Aruseus' left leg disappears" and the types action occurs}'' | ||
| Line 120: | Line 143: | ||
none | none | ||
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' How about how Danestar was an unsubtle reference to Dane Cook? And how you probably mimicked one of his jokes?<br> | ||
| + | '''NAMINE:''' Right, I forgot. There are no ''fun'' facts in this email.</blockquote> | ||
Revision as of 02:35, 1 January 2013
Cast (in order of appearence): Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Cyrus, Danestar Cookman, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, 1-Up Cheatachu, Doo-Moh
Places: Computer Room, Stage, Public Restroom
Date: May 12th, 2007
Computer: A-tech 950
Transcript
ARUSEUS: {singing} Last time was just the end of a really sad email...la de lah de dah!
NAMINE: Sad? Last email was sad, alright. It was sad in the "I want to poke myself in the eye" way.
Hello, Aruseus. You have one email.
ARUSEUS: Bring it up, Stanmans.
Never again call me that-
NAMINE: I concur.
ARUSEUS: Ahem, who's the star of the show here?
You are-
ARUSEUS: Correct.
NAMINE: Just because it says "Dan High-Summoner v. the World" doesn't mean Dan gets to be a colossal dickbag with no redeemable qualities who we're apparently supposed to root for, despite the antagonists being 1,000% better than him in every way.
NOXIGAR: GO ANTAGONISTS WOOOOOOOO
{Noxigar falls down stairs}
subject: danestar cookerDear Aruseus,
Do you want to see
Danestar?
From, James For You!
PS: You are cool.
ARUSEUS: {typing} Umm...don't you mean Cookman? Ah well. Thanks for calling me cool. We don't really see much of Danestar.
<blockquoteNAMINE: Is Danestar an amalgamation of Dane Cook and Homestar Runner? I shudder to think of what Danestar could be...</blockquote>
CYRUS: {walks in} I never really seem to include Danestar. He was originally just a character to show off.
ARUSEUS: Why do you constantly interfere with your own written transcript? Won't it cause a paradox thingy?
NAMINE: When intangibleness is mixing up with volatility
NOXIGAR: THE PROTAGONIST IN MEEEEEEEE
{It keeps happening}
{Noxigar continues to fall down stairs}
CYRUS: Nobody can just magically appear in a transcript! I just write myself in there!
ARUSEUS: Oh.
CYRUS: So as I was...
NAMINE: "saying..."
ARUSEUS: Meh?
CYRUS: Ok. I'll put him in.
ARUSEUS: He's coming again? Sha-weet. {runs out}
{Cut to a stage, Danestar is doing his comedy}
ARUSEUS: I love your comedy, Cookman!
NAMINE: MY JOKES MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
DANESTAR: Thanks! Hey, you guys ever wonder, when you walk into a public restroom, everything is freakin' wet?
ARUSEUS: Oh my cheese! I do know!
{Flashback, Aruseus and Homestar walk into a public restroom, Aruseus steps in a puddle}
ARUSEUS: Argh! Why is it always wet in these restrooms?
NAMINE: Because of the following: Urine, toilet water, sink water, the fact the restroom has a shower locker in it, because people mix drinks in the restrooms, because people drink in the restrooms... y'know what? I could go on.
HOMESTAR: I know! Can you believe it?
ARUSEUS: Now I'm going to have to de-sanitize my foot again...if that's a word...
NAMINE: Do you wear shoes, Arceus?
{Cut back to Stage}
DANESTAR: Oh! Have you guys gotten any Speak-and-Spells?
STRONG BAD: {waves hand} Does a Grape-Nuts Robot Count?
DANESTAR: Those things are evil!
NAMINE: I guess that's a no.
ARUSEUS: Just like Furbies! They scare me!
1-UP CHEATACHU: No they're not! {waves Doo-moh in the air} Stop insulting Doo-Moh's bretheren!
{Cut back to A-Tech}
ARUSEUS: {typing} But what scares me more is...Wiki User Crossovers. Except for Cyrus, he's cool.
{Namine boos at Arceus}
CYRUS: Got that right.
ARUSEUS: You're still here?
CYRUS: Transcript.
ARUSEUS: So...how does it work?
CYRUS: You just type something and it happens.
NAMINE: Hey, Noxigar! I warned you about the stairs multiple times.
NOXIGAR: It keeps happening!
{It keeps happening}
{Cyrus takes out the Talon 564, with the previous 5 lines and actions on it's screen, Cyrus types: "Aruseus' left leg disappears" and the types action occurs}
ARUSEUS: Woah.
{His leg reappears}
CYRUS: See?
ARUSEUS: Ok.
{Cut back to A-Tech interface}
ARUSEUS: {typing} So there you go. I saw Danestar. {stops} Ok! So untill next time, I'm top dog!
Click here to email Aruseus.
Fun Facts
none
NAMINE: How about how Danestar was an unsubtle reference to Dane Cook? And how you probably mimicked one of his jokes?
NAMINE: Right, I forgot. There are no fun facts in this email.
