Zippy Emails/emails/33

Overview

Zippy Email #33: maverick hunter zippy

Anytown is taken over by sinister robots! Can Zippy save the day using his trusty Adaptor Gun?

Transcript

{Open: a shady laboratory off the coast of Anytown. The building is surrounded by ominous black clouds, with the occasional lightning strike illuminating the sky. Zoom in through the window to show several capsules lining a large room. A stout-looking person/creature walks in. Like most villains, he is obscured by the shadows. A smaller, stouter creature follows him in. The smaller creature is not covered in shadow--he is a small, fly-like creature in a lab coat. The large figure turns to the fly.}

???: Alright, Gnathan... I believe it's time.

GNATHAN: Ooh! Really, is it, Dr.?

???: Yes, I do think that Anytown is ready. Do you know what that means, my dear Gnathan?

GNATHAN: Oh! I think I know!

???: Ah-ha-ha-ha...! It's time to let loose my Mavericks!

GNATHAN: Really? I was hoping we'd get a soda or something-

{The larger figure slaps Gnathan.}

???: Just send out the capsules already, Gnathan! I'm not paying you to... do anything, really.

{Gnathan giddily waddles over to a console and inputs a code. He enters it, and almost immediately, the capsules are shot out of the room.}

???: Mwah-ha-ha-ha...! Once my Mavericks capture Anytown, nothing can stop me!

{The dark figure laughs as he exits the room. Fade to black.}

{Fade in to Zippy's living room. Zippy is watching TV while idly snacking on something called "Pork Ripplins".}

ANNOUNCER: {on TV} ... and at 11, we once again take a visit to Tlentifini Marhaaysu...

ZIPPY: I think I've seen that already.

{Zippy's house is suddenly shaken by a massive tremor. Zippy is tossed from his couch and into the wall. He gets up and straightens his bandanna.}

ZIPPY: What the... what was that?!

{Zippy opens his front door and notices a massive capsule lodged in a crater in his front yard.}

ZIPPY: Holy crap!

KOOKY: {offscreen} You saw it too, huh?

{Kooky walks over.}

ZIPPY: Hey, Kooks! What's up?

KOOKY: This capsule... I don't know where it came from... but it looks suspicious.

ZIPPY: Hey? What do you know? It could be treasure or something!

KOOKY: True... but it could definitely be something else. Stay here, I need to get my life scanner.

{Kooky walks off. Zippy looks at the capsule quizzically, running his fingers along the surface. His finger then brushes a button, opening the capsule.}

ZIPPY: Ohhhhhhh... whoops.

{A robot comes out. It looks like a lobster in armor.}

ZIPPY: What the-

LOBSTER: I am... Buttered Lobster! Fear my slippery fats!

ZIPPY: ... Is that a threat?

LOBSTER: Come on, what've you got?

ZIPPY: Uh...

{Zippy makes a mad dash for Kooky's house.}

LOBSTER: Oh-ho! It looks like I am the victor!

{Cut: Kooky's lab. Kooky is searching through his closet. Zippy runs in.}

ZIPPY: KOOKY DO YOU HAVE A GUN

KOOKY: Uh... why would you need one?

ZIPPY: Ahh, it's a long story. Wait, no. It isn't.

KOOKY: Did you open the capsule?

ZIPPY: I believe I may have.

{Buttered Lobster breaks through the wall of Kooky's lab and points his gun at Zippy.}

LOBSTER: It's time to die, little duck!

ZIPPY: I AM NOT A DDDDDDD

{Suddenly, Lobster is shot with a beam from somewhere. His armor cracks, revealing a soft, squishy underbelly.}

LOBSTER: Argh! My soft, squishy underbelly!

KOOKY: {offscreen} Zippy! Take this!

{Pan over to show Kooky holding the Adapter Gun and a chip for it. Zippy takes the Adaptor Gun, puts it on, and inserts the chip.}

ZIPPY: What's this chip do?

KOOKY: Oh, just shoot him!

{Zippy fires a bolt of plasma at Lobster, who is hit by the attack and subsequently explodes. All left behind in the debris is a small data chip.}

KOOKY: Ah... that must be his weapon chip.

ZIPPY: His- his what?

KOOKY: This has the programming that allows him to use his attacks! I'm sure that it's compatible with the Adaptor Gun--try it out!

ZIPPY: Well, if you say so.

{Zippy inserts the chip. He fires the gun and a stream of boiling butter shoots out.}

ZIPPY: Wo-how. That's pretty impressive.

KOOKY: Well? What are you waiting for?

ZIPPY: To be honest? I'm not sure.

KOOKY: Well I just got some intel that some more capsules crashed around town! If those capsules are anything like the one that landed over here...

ZIPPY: Yeah, yeah, I get you. I'm on it!

{Zippy runs out of the room.}

{Cut: downtown Anytown. A large, bird-like robot is rampaging across the city, crying.}

ZIPPY: So you're one of those robots, huh?

EMU: I DON'T WANT TO BLOW UP THE CITY AUUUUURGH {switches pitch} NO SHUT UP YOU HAVE TO

ZIPPY: ... And you are?

EMU: AAAAAAAAAAAA {switches pitch} SCHIZOPHRENIC EMU IS MY NAME AND KILLING IS MY {switches pitch} PLEASE STOP NOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ZIPPY: ... Uh.

EMU: KILL ME KILL ME {switches pitch} KILL YOU KILL YOU

ZIPPY: Alright, fine! Or... not fine! Which personality am I talking to?

{Zippy fires a beam of molten butter at Schizophrenic Emu. He is scalded and starts flailing wildly.}

EMU: I AM DYING HELP ME HELP ME

{Zippy fires another stream of butter at Emu, blowing him up.}

ZIPPY: There. That should be enough.

{A text box appears above Zippy.}

YOU GET: VIOLENT MOOD SWINGS

ZIPPY: What-

KOOKY: {offscreen} Zippy, do you read?

{Zippy looks at his adaptor gun and sees a radio built in.}

ZIPPY: Oh.

KOOKY: {on radio} Zippy, are you there?

ZIPPY: WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT

KOOKY: {on radio} ... Excuse me?

ZIPPY: Sorry. New power.

KOOKY: {on radio} Anyhow, I got news that another capsule hit the man-made lake--the water's becoming polluted!

ZIPPY: DAMMIT WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS

KOOKY: {on radio} Geez. Can you tone it down?

ZIPPY: Sorry, sorry. I'll try to keep it quiet.

{Cut: the Anytown Man-Made Lake. Zippy walks up to the lake and sees the black, goopy water.}

ZIPPY: Ooh... yikes.

{Suddenly, a massive creature rises from the goop.}

???: WHO DARES DISTURB ME?

ZIPPY: WHAT'S IT TO YOU

???: I AM THE GREATEST MAVERICK EVER KNOWN! I AM...

{The creature reveals itself to be a massive duck.}

DUCK: DYNAMITE DUCK!

ZIPPY: Uh, sure. Why not.

DUCK: BOW DOWN TO ME!

ZIPPY: MAKE ME ASSBAG

DUCK: WHY MUST YOU YELL AT ME?

ZIPPY: I AM THE MOST POWERFUL AROUND HERE YOU BAG OF ASS AND DONT YOU FORGET IT

DUCK: YOU'RE GETTING ME REAL RILED UP

ZIPPY: AND WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, YOU SATCHEL OF BUTT

DUCK: ASA:ASFDG

{Dynamite Duck explodes.}

ZIPPY: OKAY NOW WHAT

YOU GET: EXPLOSIVE LOGORRHEA

ZIPPY: ... What?!

KOOKY: {on radio} New power, I see!

ZIPPY: Well, what does it do?

KOOKY: {on radio} Try using it!

{Zippy presses the button on his Adaptor Gun. Harsh words are thrown that eventually explode.}

ZIPPY: Explosive.

{Suddenly, the episode ends without warning. Zoom out to show all the main characters in the Projector Room.}

ZIPPY: And that's why I'm not doing a video game parody episode.

MITCH: Wait... this was just a film?

ZIPPY: I guess you were really immersed in the whole thing, weren't you?

MITCH: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Click here to email Zippy!

KOOKY: What a cop-out.