Zippy Emails/emails/30

Overview

Zippy Email #30: cleanup

Zippy neglects his inbox. Chaos ensues.

Transcript

{Zippy walks into his bedroom, yawning. He itches his behind and sits down at his computer.}

ZIPPY: Oof... how long's it been? I wonder how many emails I've got...

ZMail - Zippy's Inbox

- RUSSIAN TURNUP | доктор Cossack
- Brother | Slim K. Platypus
- 1677721 | 4
- BOXCAR | Jim
- BEO | MITSER CRAPS
- more...

ZIPPY: Oof. That's intimidating. And that "more" doesn't bode well for Zippy Parker Platypus. ... Welp. I'd better check these. The fans might get angry!

{Zippy opens the first email.}

subject:RUSSIAN TURNUP

Дорогой камрад,

Вы знаете волшебство русского турнепса? Пробует холодным и трудным, как русский турнепс! I раз I couldn' poop t на 2 дня, и как только оно пришл вне, оно был большим и круглым, как русский турнепс! Имеете всегда ые вы моему daughter' варить s? Он безвкусен, как русский турнепс. Нет достаточно могут сказать о русском турнепсе.Ваш камрад, доктор Cossack.

{Zippy stares at the computer for a bit.}

ZIPPY: Uh... I don't know what language this is, nor do I know who sent this. But I do know what I'm gonna do with this email--DELETE IT!

DELETE IT!

ZIPPY: Next!

subject: Brother

Howdy Partner!
I am coming to visit!
Let's have some fun.
YEEHAW!
Your western older brother,
Slim K. Platypus

ZIPPY: Damnit! I've got relatives crawling out of the floorboards ever since I got this email show... some I don't think exist! Whatever. I am coming to reply to your email! Let's delete your email!

DELETED!

ZIPPY: Alright, that's two down. I don't know how many left...

subject: 1677721

margaret the package is being delivered mr. teal will be in possession of it soon everything is going to plan the meeting will be at the pet store do not let roderick see this message

- 4

ZIPPY: Oh... oh! {typing} Affirmative. I'll contact the Flower Children--they should be able to barricade Mulberry Street long enough for the transaction. Out. {speaking} I think it's best nobody sees this...

DELETED!

ZIPPY: And another one bites the dust!

BOXCAR

BOXCAR

-Jim

ZIPPY: I don't even have a clever response for this one.

BOXCAR!

ZIPPY: That's... different.

BEO

BE QUITE SPUUNGEBOOB

-MITSER CRAPS

ZIPPY: gfgh

DELETED!

ZIPPY: Let's do a different one.

subject:d

Dear Zippy,
Dear Zippy,
Dear Zippy,
Dear Zippy,
Are you friends with Skullbuggy>
From, Albert Dinkra Helithan Denkerman

ZIPPY: Alright, first thing. What's a Skullbuggy? Next thing.

DELETED!

ZIPPY: That's over with... next!

subject:goodbye horses

it puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose agein

ZIPPY: Oh, come on! Not another creepy email {pronounces "age-in"} agein!

DELETED!

ZIPPY: We're almost done...

subject:Good???

Hey theere,
Does you gots a good work?
Ifs you dont, this email will
EXPLODE!!!
have a good life,
Jorge

ZIPPY: Woah, theere, Jorge. You need to use yourself a dictionary. And a manual of style. And a life.

DELETED!

ZIPPY: Any second now, Strong Bad's gonna come into my house and gut me. I just know it.

subject:Color

Dear Zippy the Pinhead,
Is your purple fur a variant of albinism?

-Bell

ZIPPY: Is it possible? A good email? {typing} Well, Bell, my purple fur is not, in fact, albinism. There are albino platypuses--I once knew an albino platypus. He was a bit of a jerk. {speaking} Next!

Subject: failure

Deer Zippo.
I yam a object fail at everthing/<br /? Hell up pleaz;

Jim

ZIPPY: You sure yam, Jim. You sure yam.

DELETED!

ZIPPY: How many more of these do I need to do?

Inbox cleaned.

ZIPPY: Oh. That's how many. Well! Tune in next time, everybody!

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