Zippy Emails/emails/29.5

Overview

Zippy Email #29^1/2: halloween

Zippy goes over the types of people attending Halloween parties.

Transcript

ZIPPY: Checkin' my email on Halloween night! Spooky! {opens email}

subject: halloween

Yo, Zippy!
What are you doing for Halloween?
Sincerely,
- SB

{Zippy reads "SB" as "Strong Bad".}

ZIPPY: {typing} What a coincidence! Why, Halloween is tonight! How odd, huh? {clears screen} But no, really. My Halloweens have been... less than spectacular. Take, for example, the notorious Halloween of '05. Some bad times there.

{Flashback: the streets of Anytown. Zippy is dressed as Pac-Man. He walks along the sidewalk, when suddenly, a person dressed as a ghost bumps into Zippy. Zippy falls over as the Pac-Man dying sound plays. End flashback.}

ZIPPY: {typing} Yeah. I couldn't get up until the next morning! And let's not forget the tragedy that was the Halloween of '07. Yikes.

{Flashback: the streets of Anytown. Zippy is dressed as Mario dressed as a cheeseburger.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Not a good year for the Cheeseburger Mario.

{End flashback.}

ZIPPY: {typing} Yeah, I've never been good with Halloween. But worry not, gentle viewers! I have studied on Halloween etiquette, and this year, it's gonna be different!

{Zippy gets up and runs into his closet. Seconds later, he emerges, dressed as Duckman.}

ZIPPY: Alright! I picked a costume nobody will recognize! I am set!

{Zippy runs out of the room.}

{Cut: outside Zippy's House. Zippy is on his front lawn, adjusting his costume glasses. Mitch walks over.}

MITCH: Hey, Zip. ... What's with the costume?

ZIPPY: It's Halloween, you maroon!

MITCH: ... Aren't you a bit old to dress up?

ZIPPY: Oh, silly Mitch. One can never be too old to dress up for Halloween!

MITCH: Really.

ZIPPY: Besides, Syd's throwing a costume party at her place, so let's head over there!

MITCH: Huh. I didn't hear. I guess I'll go.

ZIPPY: Alright! See you there!

{Cut: Syd's house. Many people (mostly Wiki Users) are there, dressed in costumes and socializing. Zippy and Mitch (dressed in a shirt that says "this IS my costume!") walk in.}

MITCH: Wow. There are a lot of people here.

ZIPPY: I know. Hey, Syd's coming!

{Syd walks over. She is dressed as a nurse.}

SYD: Hey, you two! Welcome to my party!

ZIPPY: Yeah, thanks for inviting us!

MITCH: But I wasn't invite-

ZIPPY: Does it really matter?

SYD: Yeah, come on! Let's get some punch and have a good time, okay?

MITCH: ... Okay.

{Mitch and Syd walk off.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Alright, now it's time for... How to identify a person by the costume they wear! Let's take a look.

{Kooky walks over, dressed as Oliver Cromwell.}

KOOKY: Hey, Zippy! Nice costume! ... Whatever it is.

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Freeze frame!

{The screen stops as if it were a video tape.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} First off, we have the first kind of costumed up guy--The History Dork!

{Some old-english text appears reading "Ye Olde Historie Dorke". It disappears soon after.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} This is the kind of guy who needs to explain his costume to you. And when he does explain it, you usually have to find a history book just to get the whole picture! Too much effort, man! Too much effort!

{The scene resumes playing.}

ZIPPY: Nice! Who are you supposed to be, Sir Tweedle-stache?

KOOKY: No, no! I'm...

{Music starts up. Several other people stand behind Kooky and they all begin to sing. Listen along here.}

KOOKY: Oliver Cromwell, lord, protector of England!

SINGERS: Puritan!

KOOKY: Born in 1599, died in 1658!

SINGERS: Sep-tem-ber!

KOOKY: Was at first only MP for Huntingdon, but then he led the Ironside Cavalry at Marston Moor in 1644-

ZIPPY: Alright, alright, I get it.

{The music and singing stops.}

ZIPPY: Nice musical number, by the by.

KOOKY: Thanks! And what are you, some sort of duck?

ZIPPY: Yes. For once.

KOOKY: Cool, cool. Listen, I'm gonna go mingle with that girl dressed up as Queen Mary. See ya!

{Kooky walks off.}

ZIPPY: See you later. I guess.

{Zippy walks over to the punch bowl. Aruseus is there (dressed as Mewtwo, as well as both Syd and Mitch.}

ARUSEUS: Hey! What it is, Zipmeister?

ZIPPY: Eh, could be better.

ARUSEUS: What, couldn't snag a date?

ZIPPY: Y- n- m- yes. That's it.

ARUSEUS: Cool. Cool. Me neither.

ZIPPY: It's homecoming all over again.

{The scene stops.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} See this guy?

{The camera shifts over to bring focus on Aruseus.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} This is the second kind of costumed guy that prances around your party. We call him... The Video Gamer.

{Text appears reading "THE VIDEO GAMER". It is accompanied by a chiming noise. It disappears.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} He's the guy who, every single year, wears something from his favorite video game. For instance, this guy dressed as a cat man.

{The scene continues playing.}

ARUSEUS: Nice platypus outfit!

ZIPPY: {sighs} It's a duck.

ARUSEUS: Oh, right. Well... I forgot. I'm in college now, apparently.

ZIPPY: Still?

ARUSEUS: What?

ZIPPY: Never mind.

ARUSEUS: Yeah. I've gotta go meet for the open house. I hear the sorority girls are giving out free beers! To drink!

ZIPPY: Edgy. See ya lates.

{Aruseus leaves the room.}

ZIPPY: Cool.

{The camera pans over to show Mitch and Syd. The scene stops.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Let's move on. Here {Mitch is highlighted} we have the guy who thinks it's funny to wear something that's not a costume but insist it is. Oh, the irony! This is what we call the Effort Zero.

{Some plain text reading "Effort Zero" slides onto the screen. It falls off short after.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Be on the lookout--when you catch one of these jerks on your front step, don't give them candy. Give them a piece of paper reading "candy" on it. See? It's ironic! Oh, by the by? You all use the word "ironic" wrong. So shut up.

{The frame shifts over to center on Syd.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} And here we have, of course, the token costume for women everywhere. I'm talking about the Sexy Worker!

{The words "Sexy Laborer" appear. They poof off with a sultry giggle.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Now, the Sexy Worker can be any number of things--a sexy nurse, a sexy construction worker, a sxy secretary, whatever. If there's a job, chances are you can make the uniform skimpy enough to work for you!

{The scene continues.}

ZIPPY: Hey, guys!

SYD: Oh, hey, Zippy! How's it going so far?

ZIPPY: Good, good. Too little ladies in here, though.

SYD: It's okay! There's enough for both of you!

ZIPPY: ... I don't believe I catch your drift.

{Syd brings Zippy over toward her. She takes Zippy and plants a smooch right on his cheek.}

ZIPPY: Well, I guess I know where you're coming from now!

SYD: {giggles} Alright, Zippy. I'll catch you later! I've got a date with a bag of Kit Kats!

{Syd walks off.}

MITCH: Well! Somebody's got the hots for you, Zip.

ZIPPY: ... Yeah. Yeah.

MITCH: Now, I've gotta get going. I can't take the smell of all these sweaty people.

{Mitch leaves, too.}

ZIPPY: Alright, then. I guess that's my cue!

{Cut: Zippy's Bedroom. Zippy sits down at his computer.}

ZIPPY: {typing} So there you have it. That's my Halloween. {speaking} Well, that's it, y'all. Tune in next time where I may or may not find a razor blade in my apple. Good bye, everybody!

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