Zippy Emails/emails/20

Overview

Zippy Email #20: millionaire

Zippy gets an email about what he'd do with a mills bills.

Transcript

ZIPPY: Hey, hey, it's another email song! {opens email}

subject: what if you = millionaire?

Hey Zippy,
I have a question for you.
If you somehow won the lottery and became a millionaire, what would
you spend the money on?
See you later,

Cruroar

ZIPPY: Well. You certainly do have a question for me. {typing} What would I spend my money on, eh, Cruri-ri-ri-roar? Well, that's a hard question to ask. After all, a million dollars is a million dollars! But... we'd have to be specific. After all, the possibilities are seriously endless here! {clears screen} The first thing you want to consider--is it practical or not? Like, do you really want a hammer to break the windows in your car, just in case? Or do you want a swimming pool filled with that magic shell topping? I think we all know what option you're gonna go for.

{Cut: Zippy's imagination. Zippy is walking around, stiffened and covered in magic shell.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} Yeah. That's pretty awesome. It's both protective and delicious!

{Cut: the Bedroom.}

ZIPPY: {typing} But no, that's a bit of a stretch. After all, that much magic shell must cost a hell of a lot. And I don't even have a pool! No, I'm thinking... bigger. You know what I would do?

{Cut: Ziplandia. A majestic statue of Zippy is seen. The statue Zippy is decked out in a coonskin cap, with one leg up on the body of Air Man. It is holding the Ziplandian flag in one hand and a bottle of root beer in the other.}

ZIPPY: {v.o.} I would hire only the most sculpturious of sculptors to sculpt a scuplture of my sculpturitude! {quickly} Oh, wait- uh- I mean awesomeness!

{Zippy and Mitch walk in front of it.}

MITCH: Huh. So... what is this for?

ZIPPY: Majestical reasons. You know. To solidify my status as supreme ruler of Ziplandia.

MITCH: Really. So, what's the coonskin cap for?

ZIPPY: I... guess I'm Davey Crocket. Or Davey Sprocket. Take your pick.

MITCH: And... what is that you're stepping on?

ZIPPY: That's Air Man. I can beat him in Mega Man 2, you know. On hard.

MITCH: Oh, really. Buster dueling?

ZIPPY: Yeah, man. I need some E-Tanks, though. It's pretty hard without 'em, you know what I'm saying?

MITCH: Ah. What's- what's the root beer for?

ZIPPY: I can't beat Air Man without root beer, man. It helps me focus. The sweet scent of sarsaparilla apparently fuels Mega Man's rage.

MITCH: Oh. That's cool, I guess.

ZIPPY: Yeah. Yeah, it is.

{Cut: the Bedroom.}

ZIPPY: {typing} Unfortunately, Cru-cut, I don't think I'll be getting any variety of dollars any time soon. I don't even have a job! Or... do I? I don't even know. {clears screen} But what I can do is make my own sculpture! I just need some household supplies and I should be set! {speaking} To the junk closet!

{Cut: the real Ziplandia. A shoddy sculpture made out of what seems to be rocks hot-glued together sits in the middle of the yard. Mitch and Zippy observe it from afar.}

MITCH: So... what is this supposed to be, again?

ZIPPY: Well, if you squint really hard, it kinda looks like me.

MITCH: I don't know, but when I squint at it, it looks like... a pile of rocks. Like, a big pile of rocks.

ZIPPY: Yeah, yeah. Was this the best idea I've ever had?

MITCH: Yes. Yes it was.

ZIPPY: Mm-hm.

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