Zippy Emails/emails/12

Overview

Zippy Email #12: tour

Zippy conducts a tour of his house for all you viewers!

CAST: Zippy, Mitch, Kooky, Syd

PLACES: Zippy's Bedroom, Outside Zippy's House, Zippy's Living Room, Zippy's Kitchen

PAGE TITLE: Indy X9!

Transcript

{Open: the Indy X9.}

ZIPPY: {clicks email icon} Check it once, check it twice, when Zippy checks an email it's twice as nice!

subj: your house

Dear Sippy,

How about you give us a tour of your home.
Tell us about the rooms and stuff.

Your Not buddy,
Ned

ZIPPY: {typing} Well, my not friend, my house is, of course, the nicest one you'll ever see! In fact, I don't know why I didn't think of conducting tours before! People should pay to see me in my natural habitat!

{Zippy turns to the audience.}

ZIPPY: You owe me.

{Zippy turns back to the computer.}

ZIPPY: {clears screen} Ned, I think you've got some good ideas. Naturally, I'll be taking them for the time being! See you tomorrow!

{Fade to black. Text reading "a day later" appears.}

{Fade in to Zippy's front lawn. Syd, Mitch and Kooky stand in front of the door.}

MITCH: ... Why did I agree to this?

KOOKY: Because he paid us?

MITCH: Oh. That's why. Twenty dollars is always right!

{Zippy walks out of the house.}

ZIPPY: Hello, everyone. I trust you're all well?

{Pause.}

ZIPPY: Well forget you. Anyhow, you're here because I paid you. But now you'll realize why I actually brought you all here! {clears throat} Welcome to Zippy's House Tour!

MITCH: ... What?

ZIPPY: That's right! For just twenty dollars, you can take a look at my house!

KOOKY: ... You gave us twenty dollars just so we can spend it on a tour of your house?

ZIPPY: Yep!

KOOKY: I can't believe I fell for that.

ZIPPY: Pay up, all you.

{The three give Zippy the money, and Zippy leads them into the house. Inside the house is a long tube-like hallway, like in a walk-through shark tank.}

SYD: Woah! What's this?

ZIPPY: I stayed up all night making this.

MITCH: Wow. You can be dedicated to your work, man.

ZIPPY: I know! Now, let's begin the tour!

{Zippy takes out a walkie-talkie.}

ZIPPY: {Zippy makes a microphone click noise} Welcome, everybody, to Zippy's House Tours! I hope you're having a good time! {click}

KOOKY: You set up an intercom system? Wow.

ZIPPY: {click} Listen, when I get my mind on something, I make it as good as I can. {click} Now gaze in amazement at my living room! {click}

{The camera pans slowly to show Zippy's entire living room. Several times during the sequence, the camera zooms in on different objects.}

ZIPPY: {click} As you can see, the room is decorated with stucco walls, blue shag carpeting, and my old couch. {click}

{The camera fixes on the couch.}

ZIPPY: {click} Many of you may not know this, but my couch was owned by all manner of celebrities? This couch was once used by Slash of Guns 'n' Roses! {click}

SYD: ... Really?

ZIPPY: {click} No, but what if it was? {click}

{The group moves on to Zippy's kitchen.}

ZIPPY: {click} And if you'll look around you, you'll see my kitchen. This kitchen, though innocent-looking at first, is actually a microcosm of bacterial growth! {click}

{The camera fixes of Zippy's refrigerator.}

ZIPPY: {click} This refrigerator contains what is scientifically considered an ecosystem in the crisper drawer. If I were to open it but once, I'm sure a myriad of disease and virii would leak out into the air, spreading a new epidemic. {click}

KOOKY: ... Can I get a sample?

ZIPPY: {click} Souvenirs will be sold after the tour. {click}

{The group moves on to Zippy's bedroom.}

ZIPPY: {click} Welcome to the throne room--my bedroom! As you can see, this place contains all I need to live, including a mini-fridge, a bed, and most importantly...

{The camera fixes on the Indy X9. An angelic chorus starts playing.}

ZIPPY: ...the Indy X9, bastion of technology! With this, I check my emails and entertain people for maybe a couple of minutes! If I were to lose this, I would be crippled, forever! {click} And that's why I put up the big tube. Any questions? {click}

MITCH: Hahaha you have pink sheets.

ZIPPY: {click} Listen, it goes well with the carpets. Shut up. {click} {click} {click}

{The group moves back to the living room.}

ZIPPY: {click} Thanks for joining us on Zippy's House Tours, and I hope you had a great time. Please exit out the front door, and be sure to stop by again. {click}

KOOKY: This is the worst twenty dollars I've ever spent.

{The group leaves.}

{Cut: the Indy X9. Zippy walks back into the room and sits down.}

ZIPPY: {click} So there, Ned. That's my house. I'm sure all of you enjoyed it. {click}

Click here to email Zippy!