Yvonne hosts a reality show/2

Confessions of the tired kids

{cuts to in front of the hotel. yvonne is there.}

YVONNE: Hey, people! Last time on this crap, {appropriate clips play} Everyone was introduced into the hotel. Kalt made a bad first impression by blocking the door. Then, everyone had to find breadbags. Kalt dove in the hotel septic tank, and we tried to break pinkys camera. However, in the end, it was the hotel scammer that took the boot, {cuts back} which may describe why I can't find my galoshes. What will happen next? Will anyone have to go septic diving again? How will everyone react to the next challenge? And why did I agree to host this? You'll find out next on Yvonne hosts a reality show!

{cuts to the lobby. Yvonne is down here, in the breakfast area, a plate of cheese danishes in front of her. amber walks in, angered and soaked. She's holding an empty bag of water balloons.}

AMBER: {sounding a bit gargly} Water-ballooning a short-sheeted bed is not my idea of humor.

YVONNE: Does your voice sound funny?

AMBER: A bit, why?

YVONNE: Just what I was hoping for.

AMBER: This was another part of our prank?

YVONNE: Nope! {walks up o the front desk, picks up a black box} Attention everyone. Please report downstairs for a creepily weird breakfast of nachos, fanta, and salty caramels. Also, I don't think I made this terribly clear: You can talk into the boat picture on the back of your wall as a confessional camera. You just need to hold the button on the side down as you talk.

{confessional camera: maloa}

MALOA: {in a white pajama shirt and green pajama pants, looking tired and with his hair all tangled up} Okay, This is the only thing I will get out of the loudspeaker, because by tomorrow, the one in my room will be dismantled.

{confessional camera: pinky}

PINKY: {in a fully blue set of pajamas, her hair a bit scrambled up} Wait, so when I push this button, anything I saw goes on TV, and no one can do anything about it? {five second pause} Raiku watches sixteen. I caught him on this {holds up a badly painted rock} definatly a tape.

{cuts to the lobby.}

AMBER: Is there any particular reason we're having a weird breakfast?

YVONNE: Yes there is. Now, either you eat that or garbage.

AMBER: ...I'm gonna go upstairs. {walks offscreen}

{confessional: amber}

AMBER: No one else notices something else about the foods, do they? I'm taking advantage of it, and instead, eating the bread and cheese I brought in without anyone knowing. {picks up a cheese sandwich offscreen, takes a bite out of it} And, by the way, I'm allergic to fanta, so there.

{cuts to back in the lobby. the other eight kids come in. yvonne hands each kids a tray, as they sit down}

BIALA: {bites a nacho} This is the worst caramel I've ever tasted!

MARISSA: You're eating a nacho.

BIALA: Well, it's an easy mistake.

{confessional: marissa}

MARISSA: That girl has the brains of a waffle.

{cuts back}

MARISSA: Are caramels hot and melting?

BIALA: If they're hot, they melt!

{confessional: marissa}

MARISSA: No, wait, she has a negative brain.

{cut back}

MALOA: {a bit muffled} Hey, this cheese is sticky!

NICHOLAS: {coughs twice} I got bubbles in my nose.

YVONNE: You people are beginning to notice it.

MARISSA: Notice what?

YVONNE: {picks up a black box, as what she says plays over the loudspeaker} As you people may be realising, your voices are beginning to sound weirder from the foods. Your challenge is that you people will have to sing your least favorite song, by learning it by ear.

{confessional: amber}

AMBER: I never give away true information about me, no matter how miniscule. Guess who's singing her favorite song with her normal voice?

{cuts back. yvonnes putting away the box}

MARISSA: I thought this was a cooking show!

YVONNE: Perhaps I forgot to mention the reward for this week. A party pack of 12 different random types of soda.

NICHOLAS: We have to learn our least favorite songs so we can win chips?

YVONNE: Yep!

NICHOLAS: Awesome!

{confessional: nola}

NOLA: I have to learn and sing I'm blue?

{cuts back}

YVONNE: Oh, yeah, and this week, you're choosing who leaves.

{confessional: etesay}

ETESAY: I already know number monotony, so I'm golden. I'm probably just gonna end up voting off nola, unless I can figure out who stole my diary.

{confessional: kalt}

KALT: I'm gonna make a fool of myself singing so small on TV, wont I?

{cuts back}

YVONNE: Also, I have noticed how some of you share your same least favorite. You can sing in duets if you want to.

{everyone walks out of the room, towards the elevators.}

ETESAY: Hey, where's amber?

BIALA: She said she was eating breakfast in her room.

YVONNE: Then I would suggest you sing a duet with her.

{confessional: amber}

AMBER: {braiding her hair} To tell the truth, I don't even like biala. I play along with her because she gets the most sympathy, and I get practical invincibility for always helping the blind girl. Once we get to the last round, I'm a shoe-in to win. I mean, would I be friends with that idiot? Think about it. I also came up with tricks to get the others to lose, like installing a background on nicholas's laptop that causes him to see disturbing flashbacks for the rest of the day. I also took marissa's cell phone, and I'm planning on texting etesays {shakes a journal in the air until the end of the sentance} deepest secret to her friends. Etesay won't be to happy after hearing everyone knows her secret. And if none of that works, well, I have one plan that can't fail.

The disaster of musical beauty

{cuts to nicholas's room. nicholas is rolling around on the bed, screaming. his laptop is open.}

MARISSA: {walks into the room} Do you need your inhaler again?

NICHOLAS: AAAH! {covers his face with a pillow} Get away!

MARISSA: {looks at the laptop} What the-

{confessional: marissa}

MARISSA: It breaks my heart to see someone would prank the asthmatic wheelchaired kid in a way that makes him see disturbing memories.

{cuts back}

MARISSA: This is bad. I'm gonna go talk with yvonne.

{the screen pauses}

YVONNE: {voice over} No way am I helping her! It's his problem!

{the screen unapuses}

NICHOLAS: {looks up, takes the pillow off his face} Don't leave! The off pitch killer christmas carolers will get you!

MARISSA: Nicholas... you worry me. {sighs} What is your least favorite song? I may be able to help you wiht the cahllenge.

NICHOLAS: Tom burleigh's dead.

MARISSA: I thought you loved that song!

NICHOLAS: It was the song I was listening to when my legs weeeaaaAGH! {clenches the pillow, curls up again}

{confessional: marissa in nicholas's room}

MARISSA: As much as I hate to say it... I'm bailing this challenge. I need to help nicholas calm down, and dust his laptop for finger prints to find who needs to go.

{cuts to the hall way. maloa is sitting here, a CD player next to him}

CD PLAYER: Often times, I dream of music, of the river that freely flows.

MALOA: {yelling} YOU'RE LUCKY I CAN'T BREAK YOU RIGHT NOW.

{kalt walks out of his room, singing off key in a too high voice}

KALT: 'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand.

MALOA: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO PRACTICE?!?

KALT: Sorry.

MALOA: {singing to this old man} Thi-is kid. He deci-ded to tear out ka-alts spine.

KALT: AAGH! {rushes out}

MALOA: Works every time.

{cuts to ambers room. she is holding a microphone}

AMBER: {singing} Lashia chio pianga, Mia cru dasoorte.

{yvonne walks in}

YVONNE: Did I tell you the song that has to be sung must be sung in english.

AMBER: Sorry.

{yovnne walks out}

AMBER: {searching through her backpack} Where are english lyrics?!?!

{cuts back to nicholas's room.}

MARISSA: Do oyu know where I can get a bag of flour?

NICHOLAS: No!

MARISSA: Do you know how to get rid of off key christmas carolers?

NICHOLAS: Grab the pepper spray out of my backpack.

MARISSA: Thanks. {grabs a yellow can outo f nicholas's backpack, leaves the room. cuts to the kitchen. marissa walks in}

MARISSA: Where is the flour? {walks in the pantry, closes the door. yvonne walks in, carrying a bucket of water. she flicks a light switch on the wall up and down.}

YVONNE: Lightning, lightning. {bang her fists on the door} Thunder, thunder. {opens the door, throws in the water} Rain, rain.

MARISSA: {walks out of the pantry, soaked and angry} What was that for?!?

YVONNE: You're in the forbidden portion of the hotel.

MARISSA: I need flour.

YVONNE: Fine. {walks into the pantry, grabs the flour, as marissa runs off. yvonne walks out of the pantry} Where'd you go?

{cuts to nicholas's room. marissa runs in, holding a bag}

NICHOLAS: Did you get the flour?

MARISSA: Try confectionars sugar. {pours some on the laptop, pulls a paintbrush out of her pocket. she begisn dusting the laptop} Where are the finger prints?!? I know ther eshould be fingerprints!

NICHOLAS: Doesn't sugar destroy them?

{marissa slams her head on the desk repeatedly. cuts to nolas room. some music is playing in the background. nola is wearing a blue shirt and leg bands on each foot}

NOLA: {singing} I'm blue da ba de da ba die da ba de- I CANT TAKE THIS CRAP ANYMORE! {kicks the cd player. it stops} The is the worst song ever!

MARISSA: {walks in} Do you know who- what's with the rediculous get up?

NOLA: I figured if I'm learning I'm blue...

MARISSA: Oh, if you want help, ask amber. She knows that song.

{nola and marissa walk out of the room. cuts ot the hallway. nola walks into one room. marissa notices maloa trying to learn the song}

MARISSA: You also hate that song?

MALOA: Least sensical song I've ever heard.

MARISSA: I take it you would mind if we sang a duet.

MALOA: No. Not as long as I get to sing the lower part.

MARISSA: Sure.

{maloa resumes the CD.}

MARISSA: The west narry childrens choir sang this! I know the higher part!

MALOA: Is that why you got sick of it?

MARISSA: Yep.

{cuts to ambers room. nola is standing in front of amber}

AMBER: Now, hum this. {hums the first few measures of im blue}

NOLA: {tries to hum it. manages to fail misribaly.} That wasn't good, was it?

AMBER: I've heard better music from a drunk monkey playing the keyboard.

NOLA: That monkey wasn't drunk!

{cuts to the pool. kalt is here, singing}

KALT: When you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small.

YVONNE: {walks in} I see you know your song.

KALT: Yep!

YVONNE: Good! 'Cause now it's time to see what you people have learned.

No la, no way

{cuts to the kitchen. nola is there}

YVONNE: {voice over} There were major failures...

NOLA: {singing} I'm blue, darbe darble darby barbie barbie I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world!

{amber replaces nola}

YVONNE: But some wins.

AMBER: {singing to the tune of lashia chio pianga} Weeping in sorrow, my fate surrounds me. Often I wish for the breath of liberty.

{marissa and maloa replace amber}

YVONNE: And there was even a duet.

MARISSA: {singing in a minor tune} This old man. He played nine. He played nicknack on my spiiiiiiiine.

MALOA: {singing in a lower tune in unison to marissa} This old man, he played nine, he play nicknack on her spiiiiiine.

{nicholas replaces the two}

YVONNE: And one kid didn't even sing.

NICHOLAS: The carolers will be jealous! They will come and tear out my vocal cords!

{kalt replaces nicholas}

YVONNE: Kalt was doing well, until...

KALT: It's so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time. It's like a squid that swa- squids eat people?

{biala replaces kalt}

YVONNE: And with no practicing whatsoever, biala was a disaster.

BIALA: Um... What song was I supposed to sing again?

YVONNE: The caramel dansen.

BIALA: Um... And a chumbly wumbly bear came a-tumblin' down!

{pinky replaces biala}

YVONNE: And, pinky wasn't phased at all by it.

PINKY: Taurus! You will never find true happiness. What you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.

{etesay replaces pinky}

YVONNE: And etesays song was the worst song she could have sung wtih her voice.

ETESAY: I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus, goo goo gajoob.

{a purely black screen appears}

YVONNE: I thought the person who messed up the least was {a spot light turns on, showing amber} Amber. So, I left it to the other eight to decide who to vote off.

{cuts to the pool. marissa, maloa, nola, etesay, kalt, nicholas, biala, an dpinky are in the pool. yvonne is in a pool chair}

YVONNE: So, in the closet on your left, there is a camera. All you have to do is say someones name to vote them off. You can vote off up to three people in this pool.

{voting camera: biala}

BIALA: I think we're all thinking the same person.

{voting camera: pinky}

PINKY: That singing was atrocious.

{voting camera: maloa}

MALOA: Least on key-

{voting camera: marissa}

MARISSA: Barely a song-

{voting camera: etesay}

ETESAY: Wasn't worthy to be burnt on a CD!

{voting camera: kalt}

KALT: He has to go.

{cuts to back at the poo. Everyone is on one of the eleven diving boards}

YVONNE: Whne I say your name, fell free to jump into the pool. If your name isn't called, you can't come back, unless there's some plot twist. {everyone jumps into the pool as they here their name} Biala, Pinky, Maloa, Marissa, Etesay, Kalt. {the camera zooms in on nola} Nola; You shouwed everyone here how to terribly sing a song. {the camera zooms in on nicholas} Nicholas; You got scared so badly, you thought some carolers would come and kill you, and refused to sing. {zooms back out} The last dive goes to... {suspensful music plays for about ten seconds, switching between shots of nola and nicholas, both scared} Nicholas.

NOLA: What? I learned this hotel front and back! I need to stay! I thought you guys liked me!

MARISSA: What can we say? You sang the worst!

NOLA: At least I sang!

MARISSA: Nicholas was scared. Go get your bags, and the crap out of this hotel.

{yvonne and nola leave the room. it fades to black}