Wikihood Re:dux/eps/1

Summary

Everyone heads back to earth, the war over before it began.

Transcript

NARRATOR: Previously, on Wikihood Redux...

{Open to Namine and Noxigar.}

NAMINE: I'm almost out of paper. I can't make more of this until I get another sketchbook.

{Namine checks her sketchbook. She only has six pages left.}

NAMINE: It seems apparent that I'll have to-

{Noxigar arrives}

NOXIGAR: I have to go back and stop Adel and the other villain. They'll cause a cataclysm if I don't!

{Noxigar opens a corridor of darkness, goes through it, and appears in-between Adel and Universitas. Cut to Joseph and Spirit Chaos in Traverse Town.}

JOSEPH: Hey, wait. Where did your body go?

CHAOS: I had to shed it. There are some crazy things running around here.

{Cloak and Leo run into the scene.}

CLOAK: Is it over?

CHAOS: Almost. I still need a visible body, and we still need Sephiroth.

CLOAK: Good point. But now, we, too, must be off. Also, the Ark is destroyed.

CHAOS: What!?

{Cut to Sephiroth, in the Underworld.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey Hades... It's me, Seph. Umm, I've just witnessed the death of Noxi, Adel, and Universitas.. I'm just thinking.. I've got nothing more to live for..

HADES: You're not going Emo on me, are you?

SEPHIROTH: Nah, I'm just bored of life, that's all. So can you prepare me a room in Hell for me?

HADES: Oh yeah, sure. ......Hey, when you get here, wanna kill some more celebrities?

SEPHIROTH: Yeah, sure.

HADES: Alright, see ya in an hour or so. {Disconnects.}

SEPHIROTH: Right.. Let's do this. {Puts the gun back to his head.} I. AM. A. MAN!!!!

{Cut to black. Cut to Chaos in the interior of the Invincible.}

CHAOS: Wait. That's where Earth is supposed to be, right?

{The ship takes another hit to the left flank.}

CHAOS: Oh crap. I keep on forgetting left and right.

{Adel's ship flies right out and rams into the Invincible.}

ADEL: FATHER!

CHAOS: I thought you died.

ADEL: No, I just have none of my previous powers. Whatever your friend did cured me, and as thankful as I am, I still have a mission to do. I have to strand you here and destroy this universe.

CHAOS: Sucks.

{Chaos makes the Invincible take a 90^o turn, and shoots the Red Eye Laser at Adel's ship. The laser not only damages the exterior, but gives the Invincible some push, and they escape.}

CHAOS: OK, now if I know this universe, I should know that the Underworld is still connected to earth somehow. Now we just need to find a way. This'd be a lot easier if it wasn't just me, Leo, Cloak, and Van. Oh, Sephiroth, where are you?

{The episode begins with the title card.}

WIKIHOOD RE:DUX: EPISODE... 1? 36? WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT.

{The episode opens to Sephiroth, still in the Underworld, as it is revealed that the gun was a dud.}

SEPHIROTH: What? I'm not dead! What gives?!

{Hades appears from thin air.}

HADES: Yeah, you really think I'd allow you to pull the death schtick again? So you can revive yourself and be the hero again? This is like... the fourth time. Get real, man. You're staying alive this time, bozo.

SEPHIROTH: Oh, you asshole!

HADES: I mean, you Sharothians are basically semi-immortal in the first place! You're complaining about nothing! Get back up there. I have some racist tweets to make, and your presence here is disrupting to me.

{Hades uppercuts Sephiroth, propelling him out of the Underworld. Suddenly, he appears in the Invincible, next to Chaos.}

CHAOS: Sephiroth, there you are! Great timing too, my bastard child is trying to kill me again!

SEPHIROTH: Adel? You mean, the kid you didn't spank enough?

CHAOS: Excuuuuuuuse me, Seph. I disciplined him like any other responsible parent. When he was bad, I used to hold him over a burning flame and force him to inhale smoke for six hours at a time! And yet, he's still a shit.

ADEL: YOU WERE A TERRIBLE FATHER, CHAOS!

CHAOS: And you're a terrible son, fuckface! Anyway, Seph. Do your thing.

SEPHIROTH: What's my thing again?

CHAOS: Y'know... your alien superpowers? Or something? Fuck, I don't know... just... do something.

SEPHIROTH: Uh...

{Sephiroth rifles through his pocket and pulls out a remote control. He eyes it suspiciously before pressing the button. Suddenly, MechaGodzilla appears and swallows Adel's ship hole.}

ADEL: CURSE YOU, FATHER! THIS IS NOT THE LAST YOU'VE SEEN OF MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

CHAOS: Gee, thanks, MechaGodzilla! Mind giving us a lift back to Earth?

{MechaGodzilla roars triumphantly as he picks up the Invincible and flies down to Earth. He gently lands the ship on top of Sephiroth's massive skyscraper before going off to destroy the city.}

CHAOS: Wow, that sure was a God in a Machine.

{Sephiroth and Chaos both laugh.}

SEPHIROTH: Where's Nox? Namine?? Do your thing!

{Pan out to reveal Namine, dressed in goth clothing in a goffickly decorated bedroom, with her sketchbook. She does a few scribbles, and suddenly Noxigar appears, next to Chaos and Sephiroth.}

NOXIGAR: Oh, hey guys. What's up.

CHAOS: Not much. We just stopped another catastrophic event from occurring, that's all.

NOXIGAR: First Chaos at it again, huh?

CHAOS: Nah.

NOXIGAR: Ah, so Davros.

SEPHIROTH: No, he died a while back.

NOXIGAR: Evil Muffin of D00M?

CHAOS: N-no?

NOXIGAR: Someone new?

CHAOS: IT WAS MY SON, GODDAMN IT.

NOXIGAR: Ohhhh.

{Pause.}

NOXIGAR: You have a son?!?

{Chaos facepalms.}

CHAOS: Never mind. Let's just do what we always do. Whatever that may be.

{Luigi appears.}

LUIGI: I hope she made LOTSA SPAGHETTI!

CHAOS: Damn right she did, Luigi. Damn right she did.

{Cut to the Universe of Abilene. Znex is in the throne room of a lavish palace, where he is entertaining the company of an alien king. He kneels down.}

ZNEX: O ye great and mighty. I must thank you for allowing me to speak with you, o great king, Hahnkhill.

KING HAHNKHILL: Bwaaaaaaaaah?!

ZNEX: Indeed, I travel from a distant land to deliver a warning. You see, I have reason to believe that we are on the edge of a multiversal crisis, and I must request that you lend me one of your most sacred artifacts. I need... The Arlenian Crown.

KING HAHNKHILL: BWAAAAAAAAH?!

ZNEX: I understand. It has been in your family for generations. If I had any other option, I would pursue it. But I do not. I need that crown. If you do not surrender it to me now, then I will forced to take drastic measures for the greater good.

KING HAHNKHILL: BWAAAAAAAH!!!

{King Hahnhkhill is angry as he sends his guards to arrest Znex.}

GUARD #1: DANG OL' FOREIGNASCOMINANWANTINTATAKEDACROWNANSTUFFYAH

GUARD #2: oh god I am really not funny why am i doing this