Wikihood: The Movie

{open to black screen}

NARRATOR: In a world where Mexican space pirates are taking over the world... Ten lifelong friends are here to stop them.

{cut to Znex paying attention in church. white text appears under him saying ZNEX}

{cut to Vanilla Ice rapping with matty b. white tesxt appears under him saying VANILLA ICE}

{cut to Noxigar at his tap dance recital. white text appears under him saying NOX}

{cut to Im a bell typing "hent" into google. white text appears under him saying IM A BELL}

{cut to Lex crying and eating ice cream. white text appears under him saying LEX}

{cut to Snoop Lion smoking with Wiz Khalifa. white text appears under him saying SNOOP}

{cut to Chaos doing a hard cardio workout. white text appears under him saying CHAOS}

{cut to The Nostalgia Critic yelling at a camera. white text appears under him saying DOUG}

{cut to Remolay working his full-time job as a shoeshiner. He looks distressed, as if you just kicked his puppy, or as if he just heard that Oiracul died. He just heard that Oiracul died. white text appears under him saying REM}

NARRATOR: Together, they make...

Wikihood: The Movie

{open to a view of earth from space. expensive CGI effects zoom in on somewhere in middle america. it turns out to be wikihood manor, 67 years in the future. noxigar is walking up to the door holding a briefcase. he notices a slip of paper taped to the handle, so he takes it off and reads it.}

NOXIGAR: {whispering, to self} "This town has been claimed by Space Mexico. It will become one of Space Mexico's many islands, joining the likes of Azulrefugio, Los Angeles, and Nuevo Mejico. Please pay a fee of 13,336,500,000 pesos (100 billion gringo dollars) if you would wish to cancel your new Space Mexican citizenship. Signed, Jose Gonzales and the Ring"... Jesus fucking christ I swear to god this shit we get into I swear to fucking god why can't there be one fucking normal day

{Noxigar sighs and walks into the manor. Snoop Lion, Bell, and the Nostalgia Critic are on the sofa watching TV and getting high. Lex can be seen in the kitchen. Vanilla Ice walks up to Noxigar and gives him a kiss on the cheek.}

VANILLA ICE: Hey honey, how was work? You look pooped.

{she takes Nox's briefcase and sets it down on the table next to him}

NOXIGAR: It's nothing, babe. It's just that I found this on the door. {hands the slip to Ice}

VANILLA ICE: Oh no, Honey! What are we going to do?

NOXIGAR: First, we have to tell the others.