(even if you aren't vegan)
Wikihood/arc/37
Synopsis
Escapees from an asylum seek sanctuary in the Wikihood house. One of the escapees is being manipulated by a scientist named Theta...
New Characters
- Spiral Pegacion
- ExDeath
- Garland
- Drek
- Theta
- Wolf O' Donnel
- Znex
Transcript
{Spiral Pegacion from Megaman X5 is in his room. He takes out a photo of Iris from Megman X4. Tears slowly emit from his eyes.}
SPIRAL: I promised I'd tend the rabbits... too bad you're dead...
{Spiral continues sobbing. Pan over to reveal ExDeath from Final Fantasy V lying in his bed at the other side of the room.}
EXDEATH: We've all had opportunities in life that we had to throw away! I've had a few myself. But honestly, I'm getting tired of listening to you crying over there while I'm trying to have sweet dreams of the void!
(Cut to Garland, in fetal position, sitting in the corner, surrounded by tissues.}
GARLAND: G-g-g-g-g-g-on-na knock you...{begins bawling} DOWN! {sobbing into knees}
{Pull to outside to reveal that they're all in an institute for "Criminally Insane and Clinically Depressed has-been Video Game Villains", located shortly from the Wikihood House. Cut to the front door of the Wikihood House. A figure walks up to the door and knocks it four times. Cut to Noxigar from the interior of the house.}
NOXIGAR: I wonder who it is...
{Noxigar opens the front door. The figure reveals itself to be Sephiroth, dressed in a black cloak with a leather chest plate underneath.}
SEPHIROTH: {Shakes Noxigar's sleeve.} Greetings stranger, my name is Sephiroth. At this very moment I have no home, and I would like to stay here for a while. I promise to make it worth your while. {Pulls out a bag of gold coins.}
NOXIGAR: We have a guest room up in the third floor you could use. {takes the gold coins} Consider this your three-year rent. {walks offscreen, counting the coins}
SEPHIROTH: Thank you sir. {Walks in.}
{Cut to Spiral Pegacion again. He is facing a wall, drinking tea.}
SPIRAL: Colonel, glad you could make it.
{Colonel from Megaman X4 appears in Spiral's imagination.}
COLONEL: Ah, yes. I'm glad you haven't forgotten my cheesy British accent and arsenal of laser swords.
SPIRAL: I need to find Zero and kill him. However, I'm stuck in this institution. How do I exit?
COLONEL: Are there any windows you could open?
SPIRAL: Yes.
COLONEL: You're the head of the RepliAirForce! Fly out of here! Spread your wings! Only then will you succeed at anything!
{Spiral finds a window, punches it, and flies out of the asylum.}
EXDEATH: Oh, how convenient. {To the warden.} Excuse me, we're going to take a break!
WARDEN 1: Yeah.. sure, okay. Don't forget your meds. {The warden gives ExDeath anti-depressant meds through the bars.} Be safe!
EXDEATH: {To Garland.} Come Garland, we're gonna see the world. {Picks up Garland and carries him outside.}
{Spiral is flying in the sky.}
SPIRAL: Freedom! Yes!
{Cut: A security camera. It records the escape of Spiral Pegacion.}
{Cut: Security room.}
WATCHER: Oy, we've got escapees!
{An alarm is sounded. Cut to the front gates of the Asylum. ExDeath walks out of the main gates, still carrying Garland. He puts Garland down, and he then waves to the asylum.}
EXDEATH: BYE!! WE'LL BE SURE TO TELL YOU OUR PROGRESS!1
{Cut back to the security room.}
WATCHER: Okay, ExDeath was not permanent, and Garland can have him as a legal guardian.
WARDEN 2: What shall we do about Spiral?
WATCHER: Don't worry. Spiral's in his own little world. If we don't kill him, the universe might. After all, we could just sic Zero on him. Again.
WARDEN 1: That's what caused Spiral to be unstable! Why would we want to send Zero on him again?
WATCHER: Easy way out of having to catch the unfortunate blighter. Did we replace him with a proper RepliAirForce leader?
WARDEN 3: Not that I know about.
{Prison guards, hearing the alarms, lock all the rooms down. Cut to a random cell.}
RIGHT PONG RACKET: Another lockdown. Who escaped this time?
ZANT: Looks like Spiral, ExDeath and Garland.
RIGHT PONG RACKET: Hmm, good for them.
{Cut back to the Wikihood House.}
CHAOS: Guys, There's a hole in my new coat. I need to find a tailor fast before I-
{A hole gets blown in the wall, and Garland appears.}
GARLAND: I, GARLAND, LORD OF CHAOS, WILL KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN THANKS TO THE THERAPY PROVIDED BY THE HOME FOR CRIMINALLY INSANE AND CLINICALLY DEPRESSED HAS-BEEN VIDEO GAME VILLAINS!
{ExDeath walks in afterwards}
EXDEATH: I am terribly sorry! We've just been let out, and as you see.. Garland here has become a little too excited. So try to be easy on him. I would stay, but I have to go to my job, and then after that I'm going to see my wife. Bye. {Leaves.}
GARLAND: NOW I WOULD LIKE TO
GARLAND: Rent a room in your house, please.
CHAOS: You can have it for free if you A:Shut up, and B:Fix this hole in my coat.
GARLAND: Hmm...{burns coat into ash}
CHAOS: That's one way to fix a hole. Fine, you can have the room. Find an empty one and take your pick.
{Garland's phone starts to ring.}
EXDEATH: {Through phone} Hey Garland, great news! I got the promotion I was waiting for! I am now the manager for Walmart! I'm gonna come over to yours to celebrate! I'll even bring the wife. See ya soon!
{TJ walks on}
TJ: Someone mind telling me who the hell this is?
SEPHIROTH: Who? Me, or the man in the big armor?
TJ: No, the big man in the armor.
SEPHIROTH: Oh, he was released from an Asylum. He lives here now.
TJ: Asylum? Aw...damn.
NOXIGAR: Cool. He's welcome, then. Even if he's a tenant for free, at least he has a legitimate reason for having a room for free.
{ExDeath walks in.}
EXDEATH: Hey guys!
SEPHIROTH: Oh, hey. You again.
NOXIGAR: Are you a tenant as well?
EXDEATH: Nah, I only live across the road. I'm friends with Garland here.
NOXIGAR: Very well. You are always welcome to visit!
EXDEATH: Thanks.
TJ: {a bit intimidated} So...what asylum are you from?
EXDEATH: The institute for "Criminally Insane and Clinically Depressed has-been Video Game Villains". Don't mind me though, I was there for therapy. I'm fine now.
TJ: Oh crap. I think I know one there... Back when I worked for Ryan Bluefox.
NOXIGAR: Ryan Bluefox?
TJ: Well, Bluefox Productions, last it was named, was sort of an inherent business. Each boss picked someone to leave the business to when they left. Cyrus left it to Lucas, Lucas to Ryan, and Ryan to me.
CHAOS: And now look at what wonderful repercussions came from running your own business!3
TJ: Um...I dunno whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.
CHAOS: So, Mr.{pulls out a piece of paper and spends five minutes scanning through it} Garland, what are your hobbies and interests?
GARLAND: Um, Killing, Mayhem, The Forces of Evil-my happily married wife-, Mass riots, Anarchy, and small ceramic kittens.
CHAOS: I see. And what makes you fit to live here?
GARLAND: The fact that I can RAISE THE POWERS OF EVIL THEMSELVES TO ATTACK YOU WITH MY EVIL WRATH! PLUS, I CAN KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!
CHAOS: Well, everything seems to be in order...just don't do anything stupid around here. It costs money to repair a house. I would know.
TJ: Same here.
{Cut:HFCIACDHBVGV. There is a small group in therapy.}
DREK: Hello there. I tried to blow up planets, but Ratchet and Clank stopped me. {starts crying}
{The Counselor pats Drek's back.}
COUNSELOR:Yes, yes, most unfortunate. Say, where is Spiral?
{A shadowy figure sneaks his way out of the asylum. He slowly heads towards the Wikihood house.}
????: Ryan...
{Cut back to the Wikihood House. Chaos and Noxigar are sitting at a table, Chaos dressed as a 50's style broker. TJ soon sits down with them as several people walk around in the background, most noticeably, Garland.}
CHAOS: Hmm...we're not that bad off this month. Granted, we've only rented out five rooms and had about 20 people stay one night, we should be able to come out on top as long as SOMEBODY stops ordering 4 and a half pounds of Gummy Worms off of the internet every week!
TJ: Sorry. {chuckle}
{TJ turns to see the figure from before eying him ominously through the window. The figure hides upon seeing TJ.}
CHAOS: What were you looking at?
{No answer.}
CHAOS: TJ? Did you hear me?
TJ: N-n-n-nothing...I thought I saw someone familiar looking.
{Chaos gets up and walks over to the window, the pokes his head out. He sees nothing.}
CHAOS: What were you looking at?
{Cut to Spiral Pegacion in an air force base. A grunt sees him.}
GRUNT: Hey, Spiral. I see you're alright? Hey, no hard feelings man, but.
{Spiral Pegacion tramples the grunt and runs in the base. He looks at the cybernetic map for the airforce leader's office. He finds it and heads there. Once he does...}
AIRFORCE LEADER: Huh? Who are you?
{A Spy from Team Fortress tries to kill Spiral from behind. Spiral Pegacion uses Spiral Wing to send the Spy flying, the knife dropping on the floor.}
SPIRAL: Colonel told me a spy would be here... and he was. I will now take my rightful seat as Repliforce Air Commander!
{Spiral jabs the Airforce leader.}
SPY: Whoever you are, you just stole my kill!
{Cut back to the Wikihood house.}
TJ: {nervous and shaken} Where did you say you were from again...Garland?
GARLAND: A plane of existance a thousand lightyears away, fueled by the powers of Hell-
TJ: Not that...The Super Villain-y Game-y place...oh no...
{The figure appears on a rooftop window and breaks through to land on TJ}
TJ: HELP ME!
????: {snarls} YOU...
{Cut: The Kitchen. Chaos is eating TJ's Gummy Worms.}
CHAOS: Stupid TJ. Buying 20 bucks worth of Gummy Worms.
{TJ and the mysterious figure land on the kitchen table.
CHAOS: Hey! If you're going to buy $20 of candy, at least have the decency to eat it, not wrestle on top of it!
TJ: W-w-w-who are you anyway?!
{The figure is revealed to be Wolf O' Donnel, covered in bleeding scratches from breaking through a glass window}
WOLF: You...LEFT ME TO DIE.
{Cut to Spiral again. He finds a microphone and places himself near it.}
SPIRAL: Attention all RepliAirForce units! Skiver is back as commanding officer!
{A mysterious voice can be heard too.}
????????: Ah, Skiver. That a codename? Anyway, I am Theta. I am here to help you kill Zero, and remarry Iris. Care to listen? Go make a spaceship and head to the world known as Twilight Town. 'Tis not far, I will guide you. Anyway, legend tells of a witch who can draw people into existence, and other forms of existence too!
{OOC: Theta is a manipulator bad guy. No need for fight sequences for him.}
{Cut: Wikihood Kitchen.}
CHAOS: TJ, Do you really know this guy?
TJ: Yes! {as he speaks, Wolf is clawing at him} When I took over Bluefox Productions, OW! None of my employees seemed to have cared about it and wanted to go and live out on their own or with each other. AGH... Some quit, some were fired, some were even killed... I tried to fire Wolf... GRAAAH! He was the most stubborn, so I shut down the company and started another without him knowing... YEAOWWW! I didn't want Wolf coming back to Bluefox Productions, so I booked him into the asylum... OH GOD HELP ME!
CHAOS: ...Wow, that was a dickish move. BUT IT IS NOW JUSTIFIED!
{Chaos hops into the fight and knocks Wolf off of TJ. Noxigar watches, taking out a test tube. He then goes to the bathroom to look for chlorine, inserting it into the test tube. Noxigar then hurries to his room, gathering a Neoshadow's corpse, and inserts the corpse into the test tube. The corpse dissolves. Noxigar runs back to where TJ and Chaos are fighting. He pretends to trip and the test tube hits the kitchen floor, exploding.}
NOXIGAR: {sarcastically} Whoops! Looks like my experiment fell by mistake!
{The Smoke clears. Wolf is completely unharmed, thanks to his handy cloaking device, which is now busted, but Chaos and TJ are fried.}
CHAOS: YOU IDIOT!
{Wolf gets up, walks in a feral manner toward the near-clawed-to-death TJ and raises a claw to slash at him to deliver to final blow}
TJ: {weakly} ...help...
{Wolf gets ready to swing, but stops suddenly. Tears begin to well up in his eyes and he breaks down crying}
TJ: {weakly turns to Wolf} Is...he okay?
{A corridor of darkness appears. A scientist arrives, wearing a theta coat4.}
THETA: Yes, Wolf is okay. He just needs... less remorse. {Theta takes out a vaccination} This should do in terms of finishing you off...
{Noxigar throws another test tube of readied chlorine at Theta.}
THETA: Graggh! NO!
WOLF: H-h-h-help me... {sobs, walks up to TJ} You two, (Chaos and Noxi) I'll take him into the other room...he needs help...
NOXIGAR: I'm not going to stop you...
GILLIAN: What the hell is going on?
{Theta runs offscreen}
{Wolf nods and runs into a living room. He lays TJ on the couch. TJ slowly wakes up}
TJ: Are you...going to kill me? No...you wouldn't...not with those eyes...
WOLF: TJ...I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me...you just rest here and-
{TJ's head rolls off and lands on the floor}5
WOLF: Oh, CRAP!
TJ: No...it's natural. Just pop it back on.
WOLF: You need rest. Just stay put.
{Cut to Theta's laboratory.}
THETA: Curses! My adrenaline injection never got to its target! If it weren't for that cloaked man, part A of my plan would have been complete!
{Cut back to the Wikihood house}
WOLF: He's going to be alright. Just be careful with him, especially his head.
TJ: Wolf, I told you, the head detachment is normal for me!
{An oddly-dressed strange humanoid appears in the middle of the room.}
HUMANOID: Oh yeah? I bet you can't do this!
{The humanoid's head pops off and is replaced. This keeps happening until the humanoid is holding five heads. He starts juggling them while laughing maniacally.}
TJ: Yeah, but I can do this! {throws his head at one of the ones being juggled, but ends up in the juggling loop} CRAP!
SEPHIROTH: Wow. That's one interesting ability.
TJ'S HEAD: Uh...help me?
SEPHIROTH: Yeah.. interesting.. {Notices TJ.} Oh, right! {Walks over to the Humanoid and pushes him over. All the heads fly into the air. Sephiroth catches TJ's and screws it back on his body}
TJ: Thank you.
{Cut to Noxigar in his room, trying to find a grocery list.}
NOXIGAR: Since the rent is taken care of, I need to buy groceries!
CHAOS: Hey, if you're heading out, then go ahead and get me about 4 and a half pounds of Gummy Worms. TJ willfully addicted me to them and I fear that if I don't eat enough my blood sugar will get low and-
{Chaos passes out.}
WOLF: TJ, I have a question for you.
{the two indistinctly talk as they walk off, don't bother trying to understand what they say}
END EPISODE
2. "Blue is not a good color for a fox. Brown is the combination of blue and orange, if that is what you seek."
4. THIS IS THETA
5. TJ's only real special power is the ability to detach and reattach his head at will, in a non-lethal and painless way.
