(even if you aren't vegan)
Wikihood/arc/36
Synopsis
Namine remakes Wikihood. No one in the new Wikihood has any memory of her (yet) except someone who delivered toast to her. Warning: There was also, at one point, copious amounts of Soulja Boy up in this ho, watch him crank dat, watch him ro.
New Characters
- God
- Toastman, who replaces Plotman.
- Dracula
- Homsar
- Gillian
Transcript
{Namine sits in the Twilight Town mansion. She looks at her sketchbook, covered in Lego Bricks and albums by Styx.}
NAMINE: Hmph. What sense am I to make of that?
{Namine turns the page and she runs out of paper in the sketchbook.}
NAMINE: Hmph. This was filler and garbage anyway. Oh well, I guess there are movies that are worse than this...
{Namine tears the sketchbook in half. She then goes to get another sketchbook, clean and with new sheets of paper.}
NAMINE: Let's try this. Again.
{Namine draws a cloaked Organization XIII member. She writes underneath, "Noxigar." She turns the page, drawing a TOTALLY RAD, BALLIN' cool guy. His name is "Chaos".}
NAMINE: Only one Chaos shall exist. No Firsts, Seconds, or Twenty-Fifths. Just Chaos.
{Naime tears out one page of the notebook at the very end and quickly jots down a set of rules to follow, then tapes it into the front of the notebook, on the inside of the cover.}
NAMINE: Oh, and rules, too.
{Namine turns the page, drawing Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7. Realizing her error,}
NAMINE: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
{Namine tears the page out and draws another guy, then labels him, too, "Sephiroth"}
NAMINE: Nobody can ever know.
{Namine turns the page, then draws Chwoka. Then she erases and redraws him several times, before finally settling on him being erased.}
NAMINE: This dude needs to go. He's not meshing well with my GRAND SWEEPING ARTISTIC VISION. Instead, I will draw some grim reaper dude or something.
{Namine Flips to the front cover, a blank white piece of cardstock, and begins to draw a more accurate Vindicator. This version has fake wings instead of realistic ones, and the cloak only covers the face, leaving some of his hair out to be noticed, and the cloak he wears is torn more than usual.}
NAMINE: And he shall be called "SHADOW SCYTHE".
{Namine doodles Hades and Death on the same page.}
NAMINE: Now I have to fix all of these godawful settings...
{She redraws the Earth and the moon, and then lists in the black space to the left "1".}
NAMINE: Chaos is a little too self-centered. I need to get rid of some of his other crap. Too many ships, Joseph needs to be re-written in, and no more god-awful insane villains like Adel.
{Turning the page, she redraws Joseph with new swords.}
NAMINE: Swords are the perfect basis of all good character design.
{Namine draws the Invincible.}
NAMINE: W-what did I just draw? Whatever, it stays.
{Namine draws a house with the main characters in it.}
NAMINE: And they'll all live in a house or something.
{Namine turns the page, drawing Roxas. A heart substitutes the "o".}
NAMINE: That's for me, later.
{A door slowly creaks, off-screen.}
VOICE: {off-screen} Namine, that's the 3rd universe you've made today! Go to bed!
NAMINE: Uh, no it isn't. It's the second. And I'm not tired yet!
{Namine continues drawing. She draws Noxigar and Chaos in a conference room.}
VOICE: {Off-screen} Do you want me to send up breakfast or something or something?
NAMINE: Um... sure?
VOICE: Pancakes or toast?
NAMINE: Toast.
{Footsteps go downstairs.}
NAMINE: Hmm... back to drawing.
{Namine draws Plotman.}
NAMINE: And to enforce these rules, a man with extraordinary po
{Toast falls face-down on the paper.}
VOICE: Oops, sorry. Hope that wasn't important.
{Pause}
NAMINE: ...powers, a strong man, Toastman.
{Namine eats the toast, creating Toastman.}
{Cut to Noxigar in the new house.}
NOXIGAR: Hi, I'm here. Wait, no, I'm Noxigar.
{Hades appears}
HADES: Hey, have we met before?
CHAOS: Aren't you a place?
{Cut to Namine. She gets a plate to place the toast on, drawing Hades and Noxigar talking. Cut back to Hades and Noxigar}
HADES: I presume not. My name is Hades, expert of the dead men who tell no tales, and I am here to bid you a welcome to this new world Namine made.
GOD: HAS NAMINE MADE ANOTHER NEW UNIVERSE
GOD: THAT CRAZY CAT
{Badstar crashes through a window}
BADSTAR: This place seems... familliar. I feel like I've been here before, and there were stupid plots, lame characters, and a whole lot of complicated...ness. And for some reason, I'm hoping that I don't die —
{Badstar is smote right there on the spot. Pause.}
GOD: WHAT? HE WAS ASKING FOR IT.
{Cut to Namine drawing}
NAMINE: God, get outta my universes!
GOD: IF IT'S YOUR UNIVERSE WHY IS IT TAKING UP PHYSICAL SPACE IN MINE {gestures to the notebook}
NAMINE: I am angry, so in retaliation I shall draw some furries!
{Namine draws a girl, with fangs and crimson eyes. She labels her "Gillian". After that, she draws a fox-looking character, but draws the head a few inches from the neck.}
NAMINE: I...uh... meant to do that.
{She labels him "T.J.". Namine walks offscreen. Cut back to a house with all the Wikihood characters in it.}
TJ: {yawns and gets up} Ah...where am I?
NOXIGAR: Beats me. A house.
{Chaos walks out of the kitchen.}
CHAOS: Alright, I'm back from the-
{Chaos gets a scans all of the new faces.}
CHAOS: PROCESSING FACES...
{Pan out to show roughly two hundred people standing in the guest room of the house. Cut back to Chaos, who explodes and sets everything on fire.}
NOXIGAR: Oh. I guess there is more than two or three. My apologies.
GILLIAN: Hi, I'm Gillian.
{Chaos unexplodes}
CHAOS: If I'm not mistaken you mentioned you had 2 or so friends in addition. {pulls out a small slip of paper.} Badstar, and TJ?
GILLIAN: Yes. Those are my friends.
CHAOS: Then who are all these people?
GILLAIN: My enemies!
{laugh track}
NOXIGAR: I think we have enough rooms to fit like a billion people.
CHAOS: That is completely feasable.
NOXIGAR: Yes it is.
CHAOS: Yes it is. Say, Gillian, I forgot to ask you something...
GILLIAN: Yes?
CHAOS: Do you happen to know anything about the past history of this house?
GILLIAN: I only know about the future history.
CHAOS: Well, go on, tell me what you know.
GILLIAN: Well, um, George Washington sank the Titanic?
CHAOS:...Apparently you're not as smart, or at least, as wise, as you lead on. This should all play out very interestingly. {rubs hands together, evil laugh}
TJ: I dislike vampires...ever since Twilight. Except for Dracula. We tight.
DRACULA: WHAT UP
{TJ stakes Dracula.}
TJ: That was a bad thing to do, and I will be the first one to admit it.
CHAOS: {under breath} and you'd think she of all people would know the backstory behind this place, oh well {Normal voice} Well, go on, take your stuff upstairs, explore the house, just don't go near the wall near the bathroom on the second floor!
TJ: {to Gillian} I'm taken.
CHAOS: By who, or even better, {change to toe-to-head view of TJ} what?
TJ: White cat, name's Julie. She seems like your average girl, but she's half-shin. Like, the part of your leg.
CHAOS: I didn't even know legs could reproduce independently!
TJ: Furthermore, they have their own genes.
CHAOS: Or should we say... JEANS?
{laugh track}
CHAOS: I'm angry! Do you know how much hatred our races have between each other?
TJ: I'm sorry...
CHAOS: Oh, don't worry about it. You'll get your comeuppance when I call in the SWAT teams.
TJ: What?
CHAOS: What?
{Zoom out to the room. The crowds of people begin to disappear.}
CHAOS: Go, get out, shoo, we're closed, nous ne perlons pas anglais, LEAVE.
{The room is dramatically empty, save for TJ, Chaos, and Noxigar, who's watching what appears to be a Kingdom Hearts soap opera parody.}
NOXIGAR: If something has more than 4 words to properly describe it, it's not a good idea.
{Cut back to Namine drawing. She looks at what she drew in her sketchbook.}
NAMINE: This looks waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the last universe I tried making. This shall continue.
GOD: WHY DID YOU TRY MAKING A UNIVERSE MADE OF NOTHING BUT COMMON HOUSECATS ANYWAY
NAMINE: I was really drunk at the time!
{Cut back to the house. The TV is turned off.}
NOXIGAR: There is nothing good on today.2
CHAOS: Can't wait until they find out that this place i-
{Cut to Homsar. He takes the sketchbook, erasing the pages. He then redraws everything to be literally 10 straight days of Soulja Boy7, and then gets bored and redraws Soulja Boy.}
HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaA! 8, 9
{OOC: ... Doesn't this constitute godmodding?}
{OOC: I AM SUPREME LORD OF WIKIHOOD AS EDITOR YOU CANNOT TOUCH ME I AM INVISIBLE10}
{OOC: ...}
{Homsar floats and snaps out of it.}
HOMSAR: Pass the dutch again.11
{God smites Homsar for his comments.}
END EPISODE
1. Hell
2. NOTHING.3
3. But what about—4
4. NOTHING.
5. "I wonder if she has a life."
7. Soulja Boy.9
8. "That was a poor decision and I shall rectify my mistake now. Also, 9"
9. Soulja Boy.7
10. Invincible.13
11. "The Soulja Boy7 is probably not the best song ever."
13. Intangible.
