Wikihood/Archive/eps/3/Riffed

Transcript

{A menu appears. Noxigar is standing with a Wiimote.}

NOXIGAR: Choose which side you want to hear. Don't be long, now.

NOXIGAR: Hmph. The DVD menu wasn't a bad idea. Too bad I only implemented it in this episode.

{Noxi runs offscreen, and the two options say, "Enigma" and "Silver"}

Enigma

{Cut to Super Sam in Enigma's prison, disguised as one of the prison guards.}

SUPER SAM: Hey, Enigma. Wot would you like to have for dinner tonight? It's all on me since you're paying that ginormous fine.

{OOC: Super Sam can be controlled by anyone as long as he frees Enigma and acts as an antagonist.}

{OOC: Can we control Enigma as well? - Znex}

{OOC: Speak to Vindicator first.}

{The Enigma looks at Super Sam.}

ENIGMA: Haha, dad. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Nice joke. I'm not a male-lover. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

SUPER SAM: Okay, I want to destroy Wikihood for a 5th time. I need you to help me. Mind a genocide on the X Family? Your dad's eventually going to betray you, as per Eggman Nega.

{Eggman Nega shows up.}

EGGMAN NEGA: Hello, I am Eggman Nega. Pleasure to meet you, Enigma. Super Sam's words are correct. In the future, Vindicator will have you sent to an asylum, and then after a while cops will bring you to the asylum's backyard and kill you. Do you want that? I didn't think so.

{Edgeworth Edgeworthington appears}

EDGEWORTHINGTON: I've distracted everyone with a court case by using the real Miles Edgeworth to replace me. Bwahaha! Hopefully there won't be anyone to stop us!

{The cell starts to rumble as the Enigma breaks out. He then throws Super Sam into a wall.}

ENIGMA: IT'S... THE ENIGMA!!!

{Moby - Machete plays as the prison guards and The Enigma face off.}

SUPER SAM: Well, The Enigma.

EGGMAN NEGA: You broke yourself out, as predicted.

EDGEWORTHINGTON: Hey, guards! The sheriff's let 'im out!

{Edgeworthington holds a forged signature from the sheriff and he and The Enigma leave, as well as Eggman Nega and Super Sam. Cut to a bank where Znex is waiting in line.}

ZNEX: Grrr...when are they gonna move?

{The Enigma, Super Sam, Eggman Nega, and Edgeworthington walk into the bank.}

EDGEWORTHINGTON: {to the other three} Alright, we're gonna need some money, and this is the best place to get it. Ready?

{Everyone nods.}

EDGEWORTHINGTON: Everyone put their hands up! This is a stick-up!

{The Enigma puts his hands up.}

EDGEWORTHINGTON: Not you... {shakes head}

{The Enigma puts his hands down while everyone else puts their hands up(apart from the four).}

ZNEX: Great, what a day I'm having. First, I get chased around by a manic lawyer, and next, I get robbed.

{A Little Furry Weasel Thing Runs to Edgeworthington}

DAXTER: Hey! Greenhair! Have you seen someone, with blond hair, a goatee and a blue shirt?

EDGEWORTHINGTON: No. And how did you get in here?

DAXTER: I came through the window.

{The Enigma squishes Daxter.}

ENIGMA: Annoying little rat-weasel.

{Daxter crawls under his foot.}

DAXTER: HEY UGLY! THAT HURT!! {Runs off. An Electricity sound is heard.}

SUPER SAM: What's that?

DAXTER: THE PEACEMAKER IS HERE BABY!!!!

SUPER SAM: Ah, some form of "what World War I should've done".

{Eggman Nega sighs and gets Daxter off of The Enigma's foot}

EGGMAN NEGA: Be gone, you. We do not need nuisances.

ZNEX: Hey Super Sam, just a question, but why are you after ruining Wikihood again, despite the fact this is on the Wiki User Wiki?

ENIGMA: I'll field this one.

{The Enigma looms over Znex, clears his throat, and throws Znex really far away.}

DAXTER: I'm Leaving. {Leaves.}

EGGMAN NEGA: Alright. I has a plan to track the X Family down. Half of 'em are at the court case, our distraction. What a cinch. Only persons I can't track down are The Zenith and Coach X.

{Shadow runs onscreen.}

SHADOW: Well, well, well. We meet again, Eggman Nega. I thought the last two times I one-upped you you'd give up. What exactly are you up to this time?

EGGMAN NEGA: It's none of your business, hedgehog!

SUPER SAM: We're here to destroy Wikihood for the 5th time in a row!

{Shadow looks at Super Sam weirdly}

SHADOW: Why not just kill the directors and mods?

EGGMAN NEGA: We plan on killing all of the X Family, and the fact that we need Roxas to kill Noxigar is a problem, as we can't find Roxas.

SHADOW: Well, whatever you're up to, I'm going to kick your sorry butt!

{The Enigma grabs Shadow and throws him away as well.}

ENIGMA: What? And ruin the plot?

{A record scratches. Edgeworthington looks at the Enigma}

EDGEWORTHINGTON: What?

{Shadow, having been not thrown too far, runs back and tries a Homing Attack on The Enigma.}

SHADOW: Chaos Blast!

{Shadow blows everyone around him aside. The Enigma is unscathed.}

ENIGMA: {lets out a single laugh} Nice try.

{The Enigma, at great speed, delivers a punch to Shadow's stomach.}

ENIGMA: {Laughs evily.} HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You may be the ultimate life-form, but you are still no match for me!

{From behind, a proppeler cap whirls flies through the air really fast while spininng, and hits the enigma from the back of the head, which sends the enigma flying. It is revealed that Badstar threw his hat. His hat comes back to him and he puts it on. Cut to Shadow looking ahead at Badstar.}

BADSTAR: {Jumps offscreen and lands onscreen.} YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!?!? {To Shadow.} Shadow, how about we finish this guy off?

SHADOW: He's hard, but I've dealt with worse.

{Shadow uses a Homing Attack on The Enigma and strikes him directly.}

SUPER SAM: Hey, The Enigma! I have a warping device that the Godmodder gave me! {takes out warping device}

{Super Sam warps him, The Enigma, Eggman Nega, and Edgeworthington to an unknown location}

SHADOW: That blew.

{Shadow walks offscreen. End Enigma chapter}

Silver

{Badstar runs in.}

BADSTAR: AM I LATE!? HAS JURY DUTY ALREADY BEGUN!?

JRS: YOU'RE NOT A JURY! YOU'RE A WITNESS! NOW GO SIT DOWN! Now Let's get this on a roll! First, we speak to the victim, Sephiroth.

SILVER: No more yelling, please. You guys have been yelling for 20 minutes in a row, the same amount of time Edgeworth has been gone for.

JRS: Edgeworth isn't here? Well, get him here!

SILVER: Finally, someone that will listen to me! I come from the future to change it for the better of mankind. Super Sam has come back to destroy Wikihood for a fifth time and is enlisting The Enigma to kill off the X Family, while this court case is seen as a distraction! If you do not believe me, the proof is in the pudding!

{Silver takes out some pudding which gives everyone an image of Enigma killing off the X Family one by one. Silver gets out a spoon andd takes out some of the pudding and eats it, revealing another image of Super Sam and Enigma ruling the universe, Eggman Nega controlling the military and the people, who have all been roboticized except Silver, who warps back in time.}

JRS: I don't care! This is a court order! IT MUST HAPPEN!! {Edgeworth appears in a cloud of smoke, tied up to his chair.} Now let's start! Sephiroth, Is it true that Edgeworth shot you?

SEPHIROTH: Yes.

JRS: Is it true Edgeworth? How do you plead?

EDGEWORTH: Err.... INNOCENT!!

{Jury Gasps.}

BEAST BOY: Liar!

BADSTAR: {Offscreen} TEAHCER, CAN I HAVE A COOKIE!?

{Silver stands for 3 seconds and then gets a light bulb on his head}

SILVER: I plead that this trial is a farce, Eggman Nega. {points at the judge}

ROBOTNIK: How do you know he's Eggman Nega?

JRS: What are you talking about? I'm Judge Roy Spleen, Judge of the Underground court! Don't you watch Billy and Mandy!?

FRED: YES!

{OOC: Noxi, Can You make it, so the court case goes without interruption? I really have some stuff planned for the case.-Sephi}

{Silver takes out a bag full of evidence.}

SILVER: Edgeworth is innocent. Don't believe me? Look through the bag of evidence.

{Pan to a bag of evidence reading crudely: "EVE-DANCE 200712".}

EDGEWORTH: It's empty.

SILVER: {whispering to Edgeworth} I'm trying to stop the farce. Go along, and your future will be grand.

{Silver takes out a revolver from the bag, holding it using psychokinesis so as to not get fingerprints on it.}

SILVER: This was the weapon used to shoot Sephiroth. Looks like Aeris' blood got spilled over it. Murder, much? It looks as though no fingerprints are shown.

ROBOTNIK: How did no fingerprints get on a revolver with Aeris' blood?

SILVER: One would have to have two things: 1) A long sword device, and 2) Enough distance to shoot self. So, as per me being a witness, it is likelier that another lawyer with a similar surname to Edgeworth caused this mess, or it was a suicide attempt.

EDGEWORTH: My thoughts exactly. {whispering to Silver} Thanks for your help, Silver.

{The G-Man walks onscreen.}

G-MAN: Magic.

{Twilight Zone theme plays.}

SILVER: Does anyone have an objection? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

{Nothing happens for 3 seconds.}

SILVER: Then I'll go further! This tape also proves you wrong!

{A VHS and a TV suddenly appear}

SILVER: Observe.

{Silver puts the casette into the VHS and turns on the TV. It reveals Miles Edgeworth in his house reading a book on how to reverse farce trials. Meanwhile, it pans to Sephiroth having killed Aeris, who was holding a revolver. The revolver is covered in blood. Edgeworth Edgeworthington, a lookalike of Miles Edgeworth except with green hair, shoots Sephiroth straight in the chest while Silver and AVGN are playing NES games. Silver then stops the VHS and stands up once again.}

SILVER: Miles Edgeworth is innocent. He does, however, have an impostor still on the loose. He's with Eggman Nega and Super Sam.

{OOC: Two different Edgeworths. Edgeworth Edgeworthington works for the bad guys, and is an impostor of Miles Edgeworth, the good guy.}

SEPHIROTH: OBJECTION!! Now you are bending the truth, you XBOX 360/PS3 Exclusive Person! I am not The Sephiroth, I am A guy with the same name. I CALL IN WITNESS 1, SEPHIROTH!!!

{FF7 Sephiroth Comes in.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Hmph. Can we get this over with? {Spots Silver.} Wait... I know you.... {Rushes to him, then gets his sword out.} Who are you?

SILVER: I am Silver... Silver the Hedgehog! There's more in the evidence bag!

{Silver takes out some green hair from the bag.}

SILVER: Miles Edgeworth's hair is not green! Thus, the impostor is still on the loose! By the way, I'll also call out a witness to prove Miles Edgeworth innocent: The Angry Video Game Nerd!

{AVGN also walks onscreen}

AVGN: Crap! All I did was go to Burger King, and now, I have to be wasting my time in this hellhole, while I could be playing games! {Looks at Edgeworth.} HEY! THAT UGLY LAWYER GOT HIS HAIR DYED!

{OOC: Sorry mate, gotta censor him down. Gotta follow the rules of the WUW as well. -Vindicator}

SILVER: {whispering to AVGN} That's the real Edgeworth. The so-called "ugly" lawyer is still running mad, he's an impostor of Miles Edgeworth. If you follow my plan, you'll get to play many more video games in the future.

AVGN: You mean crappy games?

{Daxter bursts through the door.}

DAXTER: HELP ME!!! I GOT ATTACKED BY A GREY MAN, AN AUSTRALIAN, AND AN UGLY GREEN HAIRED LAWYER!! AHH! {hides behind Silver}

{Znex bursts through a nearby window, sending shards of glass everywhere.}

ZNEX: Wow, that Enigma guy's got good strength.

SILVER: Oh crap! Half of the X Family's in the distraction! I have to save them!

{Shadow walks next to Silver.}

SHADOW: Mind if I distract them? I loathe Eggman Nega and need some anger to take out on him.

{Shadow runs offscreen}

JRS: So this court order was merely a distraction for a world domination plot? I call for a 20 minute recess! We must all capture the real criminal and bring him back here within said time limit!

SILVER: Finally! What I've been trying to tell you since the beginning of the episode!

ZNEX: Alright, I might know how to stop Super Sam.

SILVER: Please do tell.

{Shadow walks onscreen}

SHADOW: Apparently they escaped. No problem, they aren't going to get away with the X Family assassination plot.

NOXIGAR: How exactly do you know that? Perhaps they rescheduled the assassination to a later date for the element of surprise.

JRS: For now, this meeting is adjourned until Edgeworthington is captured and placed in his jailplace. We know he's guilty, not Miles Edgeworth. Edgeworthington is wanted for impersonating Miles Edgeworth, attempting to kill Sephiroth, and for using my court as a distraction for his villainy.

SEPHIROTH: Wait.. Didn't the Furry guy say that he got attacked?

{Everyone looks at Daxter and the Silver chapter ends.}

Bonus: Vindicator

{Clicking in the bottom right corner gets you this secret chapter. I'll do this when Silver and Enigma parts finish}

{OOC: Alright, Vindy. Begin the bonus.}

{Cut to black.}

VINDICATOR: HAHAHA! YOU MISSED OUT ON A FULL EPISODE!!!!!

NOXIGAR: {sarcasm} I missed out on an episode? Oh no, what to do aside from just looking it up on TV Guide or Wikipediaing a summary of it?

{Credits roll}

NOXIGAR: This episode could have been better. Then again, this isn't Wikihood going-downhill. That would be the next episode.