Wikihood/Archive/eps/2/Riffed

Synopsis

Wikihood cast stays at home and plays games all night long.

SEPHIROTH: Well, my friends, the time has come!! To raise the roof and have some fun!

Plot Summary

1. A necessity of games for the Wii and PS3 is taken care of.
2. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is played first.
3. Vindicator hassles the cops and becomes wanted by them. Shadow pursues Vindicator.
4. AVGN and Sephiroth review various NES games.
5. Sephiroth sues Edgeworth Phoenix Wright-style, but in the underground court, with many cartoons as the juries.

New Characters

1. Silver the Hedgehog
2. The Enigma
3. Xenz
4. Edgeworth Edgeworthington
5. Miles Edgeworth

Transcript

{Cut to the Field, Homestar (dressed as Vindicator) and Strong Bad (dressed as Noxigar) are standing near The Stick.}

HOMESTAR: I-

{Vindicator appears out of nowhere.}

VINDICATOR: DID SOMEONE SAY INTRO?

{The view is side on, then upside down, then side on again, then back to normal.}

SEPHIROTH: Goddammit, you're giving me a headache!

VINDICATOR: MONKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS-

{The main theme plays. After that, cut to Noxigar sitting on the couch, setting up a television. Shadow is watching the television after Noxigar activates it.}

NOXIGAR: Vindicator needs to not place things in the recycling bin without consent of everyone else.

SEPHIROTH: FORESHADOWING...

SHADOW: I can't help but notice Lord X is gone.

NOXIGAR: Really? When was the last time you saw him?

SHADOW: At Burger King with Coach X and Enigma.

NOXIGAR: He should've gone to Wendy's. I don't blame him for wanting to have it his way...

DISTANT VOICE: Yahoo!!!!

RAIKU: I prefer Google.

{Sephiroth Falls from the sky. He Gets up, unharmed.}

SEPHIROTH: Yayz! I just fell 100,000 Feet From the sky! And I'm unharmed! Nothing can hurt me!

SEPHIROTH: Look at me! I'm awesome! I'm brilliant! I'M SUCH A SUE.

{Opening credits}

SEPHIROTH: Aloha Amercanadenglanstralia!!!

{Znex pops up right next to Sephiroth.}

ZNEX: Yello. What are we doing this week? I mean, last week's episode was kind of random. I think we need a PLOT!

{A wall breaking is heard. Vindicator pops up next to Znex.}

VINDICATOR: YOU BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!

NOXIGAR: AND SO DID YOU WITH YOUR NUCLEAR ALL-CAPS!

{Badstar runs in.}

BADSTAR: YOU GUYS WON'T BELEIVE WHAT I WAS ABLE TO GET!!!

{Badstar holds up a copy of "Super Smash Brothers Brawl".}

SHADOW: Excellent. Except the recolor of me is in there.

SEPHIROTH: In my book... you don't even exist.

NOXIGAR: Eh, pretty good. We've got the Wii and PS3 for game options. Any other games beside Super Smash Bros. Brawl?

{OOC: When choosing games, please stick to Wii and PS3 games. That means no Halo or other XBox-only games. Sorry. - No Cigar}

ZNEX: What about FIFA 08?

{Znex throws a FIFA 08 case next to the SSBB case.}

SEPHIROTH: Jeez. Don't any of you have any respect for your games? Just tossing around the room. Yeah, that is totally a good idea!

SHADOW: That's two games...

ZNEX: Oh! I got this, as well.

{Znex throws a Guitar Hero III case next to the SSBB case and the FIFA 08 case.}

{Badstar inserts SSBB into the wii.}

ZNEX: Oh, I almost forgot the guitars needed for playing Guitar Hero III.

{Znex throws the guitars next to all the other cases.}

ZNEX: Okay, I'll be Sonic.

BADSTAR: I'll be Pikachu.

{Smiley the Ball bounces up.}

SMILEY: {subtitles} I'll be Kirby!

VINDICATOR: WARHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK!

{Vindicator grabs a PS3 and begins to play Team Fortress 2. (It's being shipped onto the PS3, as well as PC and XBOX 360)}

{Sephiroth gets out a sewing kit, and sews himself a PS3, A Wii, and a PC. He then sews the controllers.}

SEPHIROTH: Look! I made a PS3!!! {Turns it on.} AND IT WORKS!

SEPHIROTH: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

SHADOW: I'm going to go look for Lord X. It's half past 8 and neither he, Coach X, and Enigma are here. They're at the nearby Burger King, I placed a tracking device in one of Enigma's molars so that Etna doesn't complain about him running away.

{Shadow runs offscreen}

NOXIGAR: I could bring Shadow the Hedgehog's PS2 version. We could do an ending for Story Mode using the co-op 2 player way. The only characters you couldn't play as with the 2nd controller would be Doom's Eye, Eggman, and Charmy.

{Noxigar throws the Shadow the Hedgehog game into the pile of game cases.}

NOXIGAR: Oh, and the Wii is on. The PS3 will have to wait, Vindi.

{Noxigar uses his left sleeve to Darth Vader choke the PS3. It shuts off.}

NOXIGAR: One console at a time to be activated. We don't want to contribute to global warming, ya know. I'll be King Dedede for Brawl, I guess. I'm hoping Shadow the Hedgehog is unlockable.

NOXIGAR: Personally, I blame Al Gore.

{Spainish Inquisition walks in with a pizza.}

SPAINISH INQUISITION: Hey, did I miss anything?

ZNEX: Not really, except for the fact that we're playing SSBB now.

NOXIGAR: I'm gettin' hungry. And I'm not gonna check our fridge. That's too cliche. I'm gonna go to Burger King. I'm not in the mood to play SSBB neithers. Let someone else try.

{Noxigar walks offscreen.}

BADSTAR: Well, lets begin.

SPAINISH INQUISITION: Dibs on Snake!

{Cut to Noxigar almost at the Burger King, Vindicator standing behind him. Vindicator whacks Noxigar over the head. Noxigar is knocked unconscious.}

VINDICATOR: NO ONE TURNS OFF TEAM FORTRESS.

{Several cops see Vindicator.}

COP 1: Stop!

SEPHIROTH: STOP RIGHT THEEEEEERE, I WANNA KNOW RIGHT NOW

COP 2: Sir, gimme your license and registration.

COP 3: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

COP 4: That's wrong... I mean right...

COP 5: Guys, this isn't a drill! There's some scythe-wielding bastardization ahead of us. Now let's get him!

COP 1: {looks at Vindicator with a cold glare} Alright, tell us who you're with now.

{Vindicator charges energy at his hand and sends it at the cops, who fly in different directions. He lets out an insanely evil laugh and runs away.}

{Cut to Badstar, Znex, Smiley, and SP playing SSBB.}

BADSTAR: Alright, I just lost 5 games in a row. Let's change characters. I'll be Sonic.

{Cut to Shadow and Noxigar outside the Burger King.}

SHADOW: I found out Vindi's here, too.

NOXIGAR: Great. Anything else I missed?

SHADOW: Nope.

NOXIGAR: I'm going inside. You chase after Vindi while I interrogate Lord X, Coach X, and Enigma.

SHADOW: Roger that.

{Shadow warps away and Noxigar enters the Burger King. "OOC: Stick to the BK plot and the SSBB plots for now." - No Cigar}

{Sephiroth is also at BK. He and The KOAC are at a table, eating a chicken meal.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey Noxi!

NOXIGAR: Oh, hey guys. You seen Lord X, Coach X, and Enigma?

{Lord X floats onscreen.}

LORD X: It's The Enigma. And he's locked up... for reasons left unsaid.

{Cut to a maximum security prison cell. The Enigma is in it.}

ENIGMA: LET ME OUT! I ONLY HIT HER 50,000 TIMES!

SEPHIROTH: My wife is also mah sister!

{Cut back.}

NOXIGAR: Where is Enigma locked up?

{Lord X smiles evilly.}

LORD X: If I told you that, you could let him out. Toss us a Wiimote.

{Sephiroth is flailing madly like a psycho.}

SEPHIROTH: It's wacky inflatable flailing arm tube man!!

SEPHIROTH: Gwa? {Starts spouting out gibberish.}

{Noxigar tosses Lord X a Wiimote}

NOXIGAR: What are you planning?

LORD X: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX. I mean, to have a good time!

{Sephiroth stops flailing, then his eyes turn red.}

SEPHIROTH: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm Free!

SEPHIROTH: Crack kills.

NOXIGAR: What the?

{Cut to Shadow pursuing Vindicator}

SHADOW: Arrgh, what is wrong with you people? I mean, you do something stupid and you get welcomed to the public for it! Damn, do I feel like an idiot for saying that.

SEPHIROTH: Don't. It's the whole basis of this show.

Okay, now surrender or else I will have to use force.

{OOC: Shadow has those "damn"-ish moments. Only means of keeping him in-character.}

{Sonic appears.}

SONIC: Hey, Shadow. Whatcha doin'?

{Silver also appears.}

SILVER: Holy crap, it's Mephiles and the Iblis Trigger!

SEPHIROTH: Holy cow Batman!

{Sephiroth turns normal again.}

SEPHIROTH: I turned evil for a sec. You know what, I'm gonna review games on my NES. {Gets out NES. The AVGN is there

SEPHIROTH: How the hell could I carry an NES with me to Burger King?

, and spots Sephiroth turning it on.}

AVGN: Wait, are you reviewing crappy games? That's kinda my thing. May I join you?

SEPHIROTH: What the hell is the AVGN doing there too?

SEPHIROTH: Sure!

AVGN: So... What game?

SEPHIROTH: Kart Fighter. A Pirate game.

AVGN: Ahh. Pirate games are as crappy as hell.

SILVER: NES? I guess I can stay in the past to help review one. Except where's everyone else?

BADSTAR: {Enters.} Do I smell a parody? I'm in! I'll sing the theme song! {Singing} He's gonna take you back to the past, to play-

{A suited lawyer appears in the foreground.}

LAWYER: The following theme song has been censored for the good of all the people who feel like it. WE LIKE TO SUE! We will now instead of the theme, play "The Way I Are" by Timbalan- {another lawyer whispers in his ear} That's censored too? Ah... here's Spanish Flea.

{Spanish Flea plays for 15 seconds with "Technical Difficulties" with a picture of Vindicator tripping over a powercord with cake, before cutting back to Badstar, finishing the theme song of the AVGN.}

{Sephiroth and AVGN are playing.}

AVGN: THIS GUY IS CALLED MARO? THIS GAME SUCKS {Koopa.}!!

SEPHIROTH: How is Koopa an action?

SEPHIROTH: I know!

{Znex walks over to Sephiroth and AVGN.}

ZNEX: Hello. What are we doing for the plot again?

SEPHIROTH: Oh yeah, The plot! I totally forgot what the hell it is! ...What is it again?

SILVER: We're reviewing different video games as part of our game night. And Shadow's chasing Vindicator.

AVGN: You know what I'd rather do? I'd rather -

{The lawyer appears, heading towards the kitchen}

LAWYER: What the heck did I tell you last time?!

SEPHIROTH: Whoa. Language.

NOXIGAR: Pardon my French... it's really horrible.

SILVER: {British accent} Bloody turd, wastin' your cussin' priveleges to make me look like the queen of England.

{The lawyer holds Noxi's refrigerator.}

LAWYER: The Chaos Emeralds are being transferred to a bank vault at his leisure, because we find that it is easier for Vindi to find them in a refridgerator.

{The lawyer runs off with the fridge. "OOC: Lawyers can do as they like..."}

SEPHIROTH: .....DIE!! {Gets out gun, and Shoots offscreen. The Lawyer can be heard screaming. Sephiroth fires 3 more times, and the screaming stops.}

{The lawyer walks onscreen.}

LAWYER: I'll take that. {takes gun, shoots Sephiroth and runs away} OHIO!

SILVER: What a waste of dialogue. Can you please concentrate on game reviewing? Oh, and my psychokinesis demands you play "The Way I Are" by Timbaland. OR ELSE!!

ZNEX: "The Way I Are"? That must be the stupidest song title I've heard! Mainly because it has bad grammar.

SEPHIROTH: YOU SHOT ME!! I'm sueing you Lawyer!!!

SEPHIROTH: it's funny because i shot him first

{Gets Phone.} Phoenix, I need your help.

LAWYER: You know, my name is Edgeworth. You don't have to call me "Lawyer" just because Etna told me to use this alias so I don't get people sued.

{Noxigar appears}

NOXIGAR: Hey, what happened to Super Smash Bros. Brawl?

SILVER: Everytime someone tried to play as The Iblis Trigger {points at Sonic}, they'd auto-win for no reason. So we gave up and I decided to go to the past, even though I've already defeated Eggman Nega...twice...

NOXIGAR: Well, you're here with Shadow from now on. And Lord X is using a Wiimote for unknown purposes.

{Cut to a montage of Lord X using the Wiimote on a computer, on the TV, with a mailbox, during driving (ending badly), and on an Xbox 360. He finally throws it at the TV.}

LORD X: You're not going to find Etna.

SEPHIROTH: Nothing interesting is happening. I'm going for a piss. {Leaves.}

EDGEWORTH: Why?

LORD X: Lawsuit.

EDGEWORTH: Etna has been removed from Wikihood for unoriginality.

LORD X: See?

EDGEWORTH: Znex is an unoriginal character. Let's go... {drags Znex offscreen}

{After a few seconds, Znex runs back the other way, running offscreen.}

ZNEX: {offscreen} You'll never take me alive!

'NOXIGAR: No one wanted you alive...

{Edgeworth runs over the same way, running offscreen.}

EDGEWORTH: Oh, yes I will!

{Cut to a wide shot of a basketball court, where Znex is hiding behind a thick tree. Edgeworth runs over to the middle of the basketball court.}

EDGEWORTH: Where are you, Znex? You can't hide forever!

ZNEX'S VOICE: Oh, yes I can!

{Edgeworth looks around, puzzled.}

EDGEWORTH: Who said that?

{Cut back to where Lord X and Sephiroth are.}

SEPHIROTH: I'm going to go to the Underground court!!

{Cut to a Court where it is rocky, and there is fire.}

SEPHIROTH: Alright, I'm back.. So where the hell are we now?

JUDGE ROY SPLEEN: Here we are, in an Underground Court Session. Sephiroth, and His Lawyer, Pheonix Wright, are Sueing Miles Edgeworth, defending on his own behalf, on attempted murder. We now open the case. The juries are: Fred Fredburger, Ed, Numbuh 4, Eric Cartman, Strong Bad, Gaston, Bloo, Beast Boy, and Dr. Robotnik.

SEPHIROTH: I would like to note that this is just ridiculous. This is like Cartoon Network meets Sega, meets Capcom, meets whoever the hell is here still!!!

FRED: Yes!

JRS: Now...hey! Where's the persecuted?

{Cut to an ice-cream shop where Znex is talking to the ice-cream man.}

ZNEX: ...and I'll have a chocolate thickshake.

ICE-CREAM MAN: Very good, sir. I shall get it right away!

{As the ice-cream man starts making everything, Edgeworth starts sneaking up to Znex. As he comes up behind him, Znex turns around.}

ZNEX: Hello. Would you like to meet my friend, Xenz?

EDGEWORTH: No--

{Znex's body tenses up and a shine of light beams from him as a negative form of himself comes out of him.}

XENZ: Hello. {eats Edgeworth}

{Cut back to the Underground court.}

JRS: We can't start the case without the persecuted!

FRED: Yes! I can spell my name: F-R-E-D-F-R--

JRS: That's enough, Mr Fredburger.

{Znex walks over to the podium, clutching Edgeworth with both hands.}

ZNEX: I believe this is the guy you want?

JRS: Ah, yes. He will do nicely.

{Znex goes over to the persecuted bench and puts Edgeworth down, then he heads off.}

JRS: Yes, Now Sephiroth, Is it true that Edgeworth shot you?

SEPHIROTH: Yes.

CARTMAN: HEY EDGEWORTH!! YOU SUCK!! I'LL KICK YOU IN THE-...

JRS: Cartman...

{Noxigar transforms into Xaldin and impales Numbuh 4 and Cartman to death.}

NOXIGAR: Okay, now it's perfect.

NOXIGAR: Those characters are not talented, and served no purpose. Decreasing the surplus population!

FRED: Yuss!

ROBOTNIK: Was that really necessary?

FRED: Yuss!

ROBOTNIK: Why do I have to go in court? I COULD BE PLANNING TO KILL SONIC!!

SILVER: Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the Sega Genesis.

ROBOTNIK: You shut up, you babbling imbicilic look-a-like of Sonic!

SEPHIROTH: NOXI! WHAT THE HELL?

JRS: Gosh, I hate my job. {Throws Healing Herbs at Numbuh 4 and Cartman.}

SEPHIROTH: And Robotnik: {Gets out a little video thingy with Robotnik.}

ROBOTNIK: NO!!

{Video End.}

NOXIGAR: Is Numbuh 4 really necessary? He doesn't even have a speaking role.

{Noxigar kills off Numbuh 4.}

NOXIGAR: I'm not a fan of Kids Next Bore.

{OOC: Pun intended.}

SEPHIROTH: {Drum roll}

JRS: STOP KILLING THE JURY DAMMIT!!

{Revives Numbuh 4, then puts a force field around him.}

NUMBUH 4: NOW STOP KILLIN' ME JERK!!

GASTON: Dang, I am Good Looking! {Gets out magic mirror to look at him}

EVERYONE: {Singing.}

No one's slick as Gaston!
No one's quick as Gaston!
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's!
For there's no man in town half as manly!
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley!
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

SEPHIROTH: WHAT?! THIS. DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

{The jury explodes, as Vindicator runs through, chased by the army, Diablo, Illidan Stormrage, Cloud Strife, the Necrons and Batman.}

VINDICATOR: THE WAY I ARE PEOPLE! THE WAY I AREEEEE!

{Vindicator knocks down the other wall and continues to escape armed forces and demonic beings.}

JRS: {Snaps Fingers and the Jury comes back.} NOW STOP KILLING THE JURY MEMBERS!!!

FRED: YES!

ED: Yeah. I MEAN EVIL SPACE MUTANTS!!!

{Beast Boy Becomes a Rhino. Shadow walks onscreen.}

SHADOW: Ah, I see Vindi likes my calling G.U.N. as well as his adversaries.

{Pan to the right}

OTHER JUDGE: ...what do you have to say about this Reggie?

REGGIE: Not my problem.

{Screen goes black, and "To Be Continued, Bro" appears onscreen}

{Hurray for abruptness :D, continue next episode}

SEPHIROTH: Ugh.. And this isn't even half of the badness that we're going to get later...