THE WUW IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS
(even if you aren't vegan)

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{Scene starts showing a large chocolate factory, but it isn't the magical factory of dreams we're all familiar with. Instead, it's an ugly, smoke-spewing behemoth of a place, and cranking gears can be heard in the background. In two words: NOT PRETTY. CHARLIE, GRANDPA JOE, VERUCA SALT, MIKE TEAVEE, VIOLET BEAUREGAURDE, AGUSTUS GLOOP, and their respected PARENTS are waiting outside.}

CHARLIE: Well, this is it! This is that factory I wanted to visit so much.

GRANDPA JOE: It doesn't look like much.

CHARLIE: But... but... but this is the greatest day of my life! It'll have to get better once we get inside!

VERUCA: Daddy, what is this place? I am entirely unsatisfied with this factory.

MR. SALT: I'm sorry, little girl, but there aren't any more chocolate factories around. This is the only one I could

show you.

VERUCA: THEN BUILD ONE!

MR. SALT: Okay, then. I'll do that right away.

{A limo comes up and picks the two up, where they leave offscreen.}

MIKE: Wait... why am I even here in the first place? I hate chocolate! I'm going to go watch television or whatever it

is kids do these days.

VIOLET: I'm going, too. I only tried getting that ticket just because my competitive spirit wouldn't let me not win it! I don't actually want to tour some dumb factory!

{The two of them and their parents leave.}

CHARLIE: Well, I guess it's just me and Agustus!

{Agustus falls over onto the road, and an ambulance comes onscreen and picks him up.}

CHARLIE: ...well, I guess it's just me! YAY!

{At this point, a dreadful little tune is heard, and the front gates to the factory creak open loudly. WILLY WONKA steps out onto the scene.}

WONKA: Well, ladies and gentlemen... or gentleman and other gentleman, I should say. Welcome to my amazing factory! Isn't it great? Couldn't you just die?

GRANDPA JOE: Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Wonka, I've seen better factories in depressing homages to classic children's books! What is this place, anyways?

WONKA: Only the most amazing place of wonder you'll ever feast your eyes on! Come along for the adventure!

CHARLIE: Yay!

{The scene then cuts to them in a large room with rusty pipes on the ceiling going into a large, bubbling vat. What looks like oil is gushing out of the pipes and into the vat.}

WONKA: This is where my chocolate is mixed and refined to its greatest flavor, and then carried off to other rooms by members of a small impoverished nation that I brought hear illegaly and am now exploiting! AND HERE THEY ARE NOW!

{A bunch of groaning Oompa Loompas in depressing gray factory suits come over, take the vat away, and carry it offscreen. Another group walks in with a new vat and places it down where the old one was, and then walk away moaning.}

GRANDPA JOE: Well, this is... interesting. What's that terrible smell?

WONKA: I'd tell you, but you'd probably never eat chocolate again. COME ALONG, NOW! We're going to the generator room!

CHARLIE: ...yay?

{Scene cuts to a depressing, dark room, lit by a single bulb. Several Oompa Loompas, in the same factory suits, are running furiously on tiny treadmills that are connected to a giant, hulking, glowing machine in the back. WONKA takes out a whip and cracks it in the air a few times, and then addresses CHARLIE and GRANDPA.}

WONKA: This is where I get all the power for my factory! It's also where I put everyone who tries to tempt me! Because NOBODY TEMPTS WILLY WONKA. Tee-hee!

GRANDPA JOE: Well, I'd have to say that this is mighty mean to those little men!

WONKA: Oh, nobody actually cares what they think. They know that they're freakish little mutants. They're probably getting enjoyment out of this, because that's how freakish and little they are! Tee-hee!

GRANDPA JOE: ...you know, I think I've seen enough. I'm leaving here.

WONKA: You don't want to see my inventing and market testing room?

GRANDPA JOE: No.

WONKA: Or the room where I abuse squirrels just because they're good at cracking open nuts?

GRANDPA JOE: No.

WONKA: Or even the room where we're working on TV chocolate and mind control?

GRANDPA JOE: NO! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY OF IT!

WONKA: Well suit yourself if you want to miss out on this once-in a lifetime experience!

GRANDPA JOE: Alright, I will!

WONKA: FINE!

GRANDPA JOE: FINE!

{WONKA and GRANDPA JOE storm out in opposite directions, leaving CHARLIE out all alone.}

CHARLIE: Umm... yay?

{Scene ends.}


Uncheck word wrap, and you don't have to capitalize names in actions. keep this in mind, because you're hired! — ChwokaTalk

Awesome. Thanks. I was terrified that this was going to be too long and boring, and I'm so relieved that it isn't. SimplyMP