(even if you aren't vegan)


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Chapter 4: Slimy Crappy People

I see nothing wrong with keeping Shiny Happy People as an episode name, but Slimy Crappy People does have a similar ring to it that cannot be ignored and also is probably a more tonally-appropriate variant of The Same (TM), so most of Sephiroth's propositions for this DAMN FOURTH EPISODE are validated on this front as well as other fronts that I'm sure will be noticed.

My writing style definitely differs immensely from Sephiroth and Remolay's, and I'm slowly beginning to find compatibilities between mine and theirs. I almost wanted to merge this and several other "early episode" concepts, in order to give more flesh to what I initially thought was overwhelmingly a "filler Episode." Considering the mountain of lore that is climbed through as a result of The Pilot Trio, an episode in between that which leads up to the next story arc - "pre-Heist" - is something that I have slowly come to realize feels necessary, in order to not clutter the beginning of Wikihood Volume 1.


  • Follow-up of Leigh Pilot: Leigh wakes up at 6:00 AM, due to a cellphone alarm. While groggy, he recovers quickly enough to get ready in time for his first day at work. As he is getting ready, music from a radio station plays: "Hit Me Baby One More Time," by Britney Spears. Additionally, Leigh looks at texts from last night sent between himself and Jules, as well as between himself and Ned and between himself and Maddie. Things are going relatively well, which makes Leigh admittedly anxious for what's to come. On his way out, Leigh comes across a familiar man in a boombox (who also plays "Hit Me Baby One More Time") - whose name is identified positively as Dahn.
  • Follow-up of Chaos Pilot: Chaos wakes up, and apologizes to Lex for having been rude to him and Garfield. He vocally wonders where Garfield is, which is given an explanation.
  • Follow-up of Garfield Pilot: Garfield arrives at NoxCorp, and is given a status report by his boss, Xiorno: sentient plants are causing anarchy within NoxCorp's labs. He arrives on the scene, and immediately confronts the culprit - a co-worker by the name of Jerry. Not having time for Jerry's pathetique excuses, Garfield begins taking out the plants with an extreme prejudice that is vocally encouraged by other co-workers, and some of his immediate superiors. Jerry faces job termination, with an efficiency marked as "brutal."
  • 2nd Follow-up of Chaos Pilot: Just as Lex and Chaos begin to have a solid conversation, Lex recognizes his own work obligations and departs partway through. Chaos recognizes he is now alone, and this is quickly made a liability due to his own internal thoughts. Wanting to be useful now that he has managed to - for now - make up with both of his erstwhile roommates, Chaos goes through both online and newspaper advertisements for jobs available. He is quickly given rejection after rejection, his criminal record being the primary obstacle to success. However, he finds success at a place known as HappyMart; having been desperate, Chaos immediately arrives there (and is encouraged to do so anyway).
  • Leigh is quickly briefed on what he will be doing, by Jacqueline. He comes across a new friend, in the form of Gronowurd "Gordon" Gorehammer. He also takes his first call, which puts him in touch with a local politician's Senate run. He transfers the call over to higher ups, at Gordon's advice. The two of them have a pleasant chat, though Leigh ends up gradually taking more calls as the day goes on.
  • Lex is given a scene which shows his job - a mattress shoppe within the outer end of Downtowningdale, which looks neat. Garfield arrives early, giving Lex some lunch in the forme of some sub sandwiches. Garfield notes the area as having been presumably abandoned, and contemplates requisitioning some of the mattresses so they don't go to waste. Lex reminds Garfield about the shoppe's policies, to which the scientist defers to. He still buys a couple mattresses, noting that Chaos could definitely use one and that the other mattress being bought can be utilized for something.
  • Chaos goes through his day at HappyMart; he initially finds it bizarre but worth the weirdness, until it wears him down later on in the day. This wearing-down is visibly shown, through Chaos taking it out on guests. It is also noticed by Felicia, the manager, and she berates Chaos for his failure to keep up appearances. Chaos is indirectly told of the low wages, and decides once and for all that he no longer is willing to tolerate Felicia's authoritarian behaviour. He resigns in a dramatic fashion, loudly insulting other co-workers through the telecom. He looks to be escorted by Security, but he asserts his independence and leaves of his own accord (though there's also a "walk of shame" component on his way out).
  • Chaos notices that he was never asked to return the costume he wore on his way to work, and decides that the day was still ultimately a success, even if his main acquisitions were "some money through severance check" and "a costume that might be useful to him later on." Admittedly, that last part would be him imagining how Lex or Garfield would have handled the same situation.
  • Jules arrives at Leigh's workplace, and announces it's time to "clock out." This only checks out due to the legitimate timing, as Leigh and Gordon go through closing procedure while talking to Jules about their respective days. They then head to The Angry Bull, and enjoy part of their day. Alas, part of that trip still feels "cursed" after the channel is changed to Xavier D'Arque's Senatorial Campaign, much to surprisingly no one's ire. Leigh gets bad vibes from hearing Xavier speak, however...
  • ...and Leigh's not the only one! Chaos, Lex, and Garfield watch the same Senatorial Campaign. Upon noticing Stephanie Young amidst the crowd, Garfield heads to his room to call her up. Meanwhile, Chaos riffs how "obviously charlatan" Xavier looks, while Lex attempts to look on the bright side of things that Xavier's actually saying.
  • After the speech is over, the television is switched back to sports, much to the delight of Leigh and to the presumed enthusiasm of the other patrons at The Angry Bull.