(even if you aren't vegan)


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I compared myself to Doofenschmirtz once. Get a load of this other non-canon gimmick.


{Cut to Garfield, in his office. He appears to be wearing a brown spiky wig, alongside his NoxCorp costume. The door to it is forced open, by a person in a platypus costume, recognizing them immediately. Garfield turns around.}

GARFIELD: Wait, how the hell did you get here and why are you wearing a platypus costume?!

{The person wordlessly points to a comic, then throws it in Garfield's face. After a few seconds of awkward pause, he takes it from his face and places it on his desque.}

GARFIELD: That explains everything.

{Garfield gets up from his office chair, taking a Battel Stance. He and the Platypus Costume Person wind up charging into each other, going toe-to-toe. As they go toe-to-toe, however, things in Garfield's office begin to break. Then, cut to a different background with the same fighting going on. Several NoxCorp employees appear to be taking bets on who will win, with most of them rooting for the Platypus Costume Person. Then, cut to a different background; this time, it's in the NoxCorp parking lot. Xiorno watches, from a limousine. After a short pause, the background then changes gradually throughout different parts of the Townindale Business District. Eventually, the background changes to a forest near Townindale. The fight then zooms in, to show how fatigued both Garfield and Platypus Costume Person are.}

GARFIELD: can't keep this up.

{The Platypus Costume Person lifts a finger, as if to speak, and then collapses. Garfield struggles to not follow suit.}

GARFIELD: I should prob-

{Volkov shows up, driving the ice cream truck. Garfield collapses.}

VOLKOV: Garfield?! I heard everything!

{Garfield tries to get up.}

GARFIELD: This is not a LARP.

{Garfield falls again. His eyes, and the camera, pan to the unconscious Platypus Costume Person. Gradually, it fades to black}

VOLKOV: {offscreen} What is it?

GARFIELD: {offscreen} It's a long story.

VOLKOV: {offscreen} I've got time.

GARFIELD: {offscreen} Long ago, my ambitions didn't end with a mortal's Doctorate and a Nobel Peace Prize from East Germany. I wanted more.