(even if you aren't vegan)


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I wasn't sure how valuable the airplane scene was to establishing Current Wikihood's tone, so I had a legitimate replacement that makes sense in context to Chaos Pilot. I ultimately chose to keep the airplane scene intact, since it gets referenced again in Leigh Pilot and enabled different ideas more profoundly.


{Cut to Garfield and Lex, in the apartment above Katyusha's. It is presumably 10:00 PM.}

LEX: So, how's work treatin' ya?

GARFIELD: Good. You?

{Lex turns to look solemnly at a window.}

LEX: Somethin' feels missin'.

GARFIELD: Hrm? What would that be?

LEX: There's this... "friend" o' mine. From before I came across ya.

GARFIELD: So someone from more than three years ago?

LEX: Yeah, yeah.

{Garfield looks visibly shocked.}

GARFIELD: Colour me surprised. I take it there's a lot of baggage associated with him?

{Lex nods.}

LEX: You could say that, yeah.

GARFIELD: No worries. I might inquire about it later, for now I'm curious.

{Lex's phone begins to ring.}

LEX: 'Allo?

{The other line is muffled.}

LEX: Yeah, I'm 'ere.

{The other line continues to be muffled.}

LEX: He's gettin' parole? That's news to me!

{The other line is still muffled. Garfield tilts his head in confusion.}

LEX: I'll come get him. See ya in a few hours!

{Lex hangs up. Garfield appears to be lost in thought.}

GARFIELD: Getting parole... has your friend always been a criminal?

LEX: Nah, jus' a life choice that went wrong.


{Garfield sighs.}

GARFIELD: I'll try to clean up a bit.

LEX: Well, 'opefully we can get 'im 'is own apartment, maybe.

GARFIELD: He's an ex-convict. Jobs won't exactly be lining up at his doorsteppe.

LEX: There's gotta be at least one place that'll hire.

GARFIELD: The Clock Museum's all the way in Rivergate, though! We're in Towningdale!

LEX: I'm sure Headwiz could use someone in a maid costume...

{Garfield shrugs.}

GARFIELD: You've mentioned Headwiz before, but I don't think I've ever seen her.

LEX: She's on th' other side o' Towningdale, mon. I only visit her, what, every seven or so Chapters?

GARFIELD: We'll at least try to visit her twice per Volume, assuming we stay in Towningdale. Didn't you mention wanting to travel?

LEX: I thought you wanted to travel, at least to the State o' Disney to free a Yeti from the Animal Kingdom or somesuch.

GARFIELD: I don't have nearly enough magic to rival any Archmages that might be stationed at Disney. I still need to collect more.

LEX: You should probably hit the books. Didn't that one ski shoppe guy sell ya an Illusionist Archmage's spellbook?

GARFIELD: If a Heist could be done by one person, I'd have done it already and tried to spare you and Volkov the added trouble.

VOLKOV: {muffled} But we just got done stopping World War III! Take time off, Garfield!

{Garfield closes his eyes, and sighs.}

GARFIELD: I've got work tomorrow, courtesy of my boss...

LEX: Okay. You go take a small nap, while I go get Chaos. Deal?


{Lex exits the apartment, and begins heading down a staircase. End scene.}