User:JeRM

HAI Guys. This page was kind of empty, so I decided to add a BRAND NEW Wheelchair email below. For those who can't remember, The Wheelchair was framed for kidnapping a The Cheat and was sent to King Snailbert's dungeon, but then was moved to some prison run by Homsars. Sorry for all the dead links thar.

NEW The Wheelchair Email!!!

The Wheelchair Email #38

Summary

The Wheelchair goes to court with some Zorax guy, and then heads back to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes, where apparently something big is happening.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, "Zorax", Homsars, George, guard snails, Mr. Flower, King Snailbert

Plot: Framed!

Computer: A projector

Lines: 190

Page Title: Happy with some weird lawyer guy!

Release Date:

Transcript

{The Wheelchair is in his cell in prison}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You know what, I just realized: Whenever I check my email, bad things happen! So if I try to get out of here without checking my email, bad things won't -

{an email appears on the cell wall, interrupting The Wheelchair}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Uh...what is this? An email?

Zorax

Hello, the wheelchair.
It has come to our attention that you have been arrested from being framed. You can go to court with zorax, our top lawyer, and you'll be set free. He's never lost a case. Just so you know, We're projecting the screen into your cellar.
You cannot trace us.
You cannot find us.
Sincerely,
wxy

THE WHEELCHAIR: {says "lawyer" like law-yure} WXY? That's a nice...name for...whatever you're advertising to me. But sure, I'll go to court with this Zorax guy, as long as he's cheap.

{A clicking sound is heard and the camera zooms out to show The Wheelchair's cell is unlocked. A character who looks exactly like Zorkolch, only wearing a mustache, walks onscreen.}

ZORAX: Come on, let's go. I'm Zorax.

THE WHEELCHAIR: You...look like someone I know.

ZORAX: No I don't. Now let's go!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Go where?

{Cut to a close-up of Homsar sitting in the judge's chair of a court room.}

HOMSAR: The court is now in session!

{Cut to The Wheelchair and Zorax sitting at the plaintiff's side of the courtroom.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Whoa! Did Homsar say something that made sense?

ZORAX: No, ignore him.

HOMSAR: Plaintiff, eat your jelly!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Well, one day I randomly found this albino cheat in my...

ZORAX: {interrupting} Let me do the talking. Now, the answer to this entire case is {takes out a briefcase} in this briefcase.

{Zorax opens the briefcase. Inside is a T-shirt which Zorax takes out and puts on. It reads "I'm with stupid" with an arrow pointing to The Wheelchair.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Um...how is that relevent to the case?

ZORAX: Well, simply because you're so stupid that you'd never be able to kidnap an albino cheat who knew government secrets anyway.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh, so I'm stupid? {holds a mirror up to Zorax's shirt} Well who's stupid now?

ZORAX: You're stupid enough to think that'd mean something.

{Cut to the defendant's side, where George and "a" Homsar are.}

GEORGE: Oh come on! I know The Wheelchair! He's definitely smart enough to know how to kidnap a misshapen, albino animal!

HOMSAR NEXT TO GEORGE: DaAaAaAaAaAa! What he mouthed!

{Cut back to plaintiff side.}

ZORAX: So you're suggesting my client was able to sneak through fifty miles of government property just to steal an albino cheat who can't even speak English?

GEORGE: He took down a giant rock monster once!

ZORAX: Well that...

THE WHEELCHAIR: {interrupting} Why do you want me in jail so bad, anyway, George!?

GEORGE: Hey, I spent a year and a half in a cage! A CAGE! You deserve to be locked away for...

JUDGE HOMSAR: {cutting to Judge Homsar} EnoOoOoOoOough of this stapling table! The jury knows best!

{Cut to a dozen Homsars as the jury. For a few seconds they whisper to each other before one speaks.}

JURY HOMSAR: The door is intestines! The wheel man is gravy! Smaller time eats gravy!

JUDGE HOMSAR: {Cutting to Judge Homsar} You heard it! Snails, jenga it down!

{Cut to a view of the entire court room. Two guard snails come through the doors in the back and quickly make their way to the front of the court room. One of the guard snails picks up George, while the guard snail on The Wheelchair's side doesn't do anything.}

GEORGE: What!? No! You should be taking away The Wheelchair! I didn't do anything!

GUARD SNAIL: The jury ruled that you framed The Wheelchair, didn't you hear Homsar?

GEORGE: What!? Me!? I didn't frame The Wheelchair!

ZORAX: {Cutting to him, a guard snail, and The Wheelchair} Let's go before they change their minds.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Um...why would I leave with you?

ZORAX: This is an island. I have a boat. Let's go.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {to guard snail} Doesn't the prison provide transport back to mainland?

GUARD SNAIL: Sorry, what's mainland? I don't know much since I only was born here a few years ago.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Born here? What is this place?

{Cut to George being carried by the other guard snail. The snail is almost to the door in the back of the room.}

GEORGE: It's a prison constructed by Homsar by order of my dad. {The guard snail opens the door and begins to walk out of the room} And whatever you do, tell him... {the guard snail slams the door}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, how did you get here, anyway?

ZORAX: I stole the gravy boat.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Nice.

{Cut to Homsar steering the gravy boat with a pair of handcuffs chained to the wheel and mid-air, suggesting his invisible hand is chained to the wheel.}

HOMSAR: I don't jump five soups for nothing.

{Cut to The Wheelchair and Zorax on the gravy boat.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So, uh, are you Zorkolch's long lost twin brother or something?

ZORAX: No, I am Zorkolch.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh...right. So you framed me!

ZORKOLCH: No, because if I had, I would be an idiot for setting you free and/or for framing you in the first place when I could of captured you.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Interesting. Uh...I see you grew a mustache.

ZORKOLCH: It's fake, stupid. It's part of my disguise.

THE WHEELCHAIR: That disguise sucked. And you know, it's sort of a cliché that when you reveal your identity, you rip off the fake mustache.

ZORKOLCH: No! I don't feel like it! It keeps my nostrils warm!

THE WHEELCHAIR: That's nice. So, what, when we get back to shore, you're just going to throw me off a cliff?

ZORKOLCH: No, I'm saving that for after...I mean...No! Of course not! I'm not gonna kill you! I need you!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Wait...so you think I'm going to ignore the whole "I JUS GAV MY PLANt ArWAY!" just because you said "I mean"?

ZORKOLCH: Well...yeah.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {three-second pause}

ZORKOLCH: Look, there's something big going on in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes right now, and I just want your help.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {three-second pause} I'm sorry, what was that? I think I was still traumatized by your stupidity.

{Zorkolch sighs and then walks away.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, why is the boat going so much slower this time a...

{The boat speeds offscreen and The Wheelchair can be heard screaming. Cut to the boat arriving at a dock in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes. The Wheelchair and Zorkolch get off it.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Now I'm going to go really far away from you, okay?

ZORKOLCH: No, you're not.

{The Wheelchair rolls away from Zorkolch by a few feet.}

ZORKOLCH: All right, look: If you follow me, I'll give five dollars and a used mustache.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Done!

{Zorkolch rips the mustache off his face and takes five dollars out of his pocket and gives them to The Wheelchair.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So what's this big thing happening in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes?

ZORKOLCH: Turn on a TV.

{Cut to the TV in The Wheelchair's house. The Wheelchair's couch is in front of the TV. The Wheelchair and Zorkolch walk onscreen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Now where's my remote?

ZORKOLCH: Just turn it on manually.

THE WHEELCHAIR: NO! I NEEDS MAH REMOTE!

{The Wheelchair rolls offscreen.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: {offscreen} Now I think I had it in my kitchen.... Oh! I found it! No wait, that's a refridgerator... Oh, here it is!

{The Wheelchair comes back onscreen with a toaster.}

ZORKOLCH: You know that's a toaster, right? Like, you're not that stupid, are you?

{The toaster pings and the remote comes out the top. The Wheelchair takes it out and tosses the toaster offscreen. A crash is heard as The Wheelchair turns on the TV.}

{The camera zooms in on the TV. On it is a title card for Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.}

VOICE FROM TV: And now back to Sweet...

{The voice is interrupted by the TV cutting to static, and then cutting to Mr. Flower, who's in a cave.}

MR. FLOWER: Oh, so you wanted to watch that? Too bad, you can't. Why? Because I'm Mr. Flower, that's why! Every week from now on in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes, I'm going to take away one thing from your lives. This week it was TV. Next week it might be something a bit more...important. And with The Wheelchair in jail, no one can stop me! {begins to laugh evilly}

{The camera zooms out to show The Wheelchair and Zorkolch.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: Agh! Turn it off! It's too cliché! Shut it off!

ZORKOLCH: You're holding the remote, you know.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh, right. {turns off TV} So, you got me out of jail for the purpose of stopping him when there's nothing in it for you?

ZORKOLCH: Yep.

THE WHEELCHAIR: {sarcastically} Sure, I'll believe that.

{Cut to King Snailbert, who's on top of his throne.}

GUARD SNAIL: {offscreen} King Snailbert, there are visitors.

KING SNAILBERT: Do any of them have knives-for-hands?

GUARD SNAIL: No.

KING SNAILBERT: Let them in.

{Zorkolch and The Wheelchair come onscreen.}

KING SNAILBERT: Hey! The Wheelchair! George told me that everytime I see you, I ask you where he is, so where is he?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh, he's at a party. A long party.

KING SNAILBERT: Oh really? And do you have any proof of this?

THE WHEELCHAIR: Nope.

KING SNAILBERT: Okay! So, what did you want to disturb me for?

ZORKOLCH: King Snailbert, do you remember when I funded you to create a giant robotic rock monster of doom?

THE WHEELCHAIR: GIANT ROBOTIC ROCK MONSTER OF DOOM!?

ZORKOLCH: What? No, I said giant robotic rock monster of happiness. {to King Snailbert} So, did you finish it?

KING SNAILBERT: I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.

ZORKOLCH: But it was only a few weeks ago! How can you not remember?

KING SNAILBERT: Wait...I think...your name's Rafael, right?

ZORKOLCH: No! Look, maybe a little flashback would refresh your memory.

{The screen begins to become wavy and it goes into a flashback. Zorkolch is wearing a fake beard and holding a briefcase. He is standing next to King Snailbert, who is on his throne.}

ZORKOLCH: Hello, King Snailbert. Do you know who I am?

KING SNAILBERT: No.

ZORKOLCH: Nevermind then. Anyways, in this briefcase are five whole dollars. All you have to do is build a giant rock monster machine of doom for me and you'll have it.

KING SNAILBERT: Can you throw in your fake beard?

ZORKOLCH: Okay, why not.

{Zorkolch rips off his fake beard and gives the beard and the briefcase to King Snailbert.}

KING SNAILBERT: Oh! I think I know who you are: Donatello!

{Zorkolch facepalms}

{Cut back to present time.}

KING SNAILBERT: Oh...crap. I sort used the money on The Worm. He told me something about a discovery in space and something about high-tech lasers, but I didn't really care all that much. I just hired my scientists and...

ZORKOLCH: Oh come on! That was my life savings! How am I going to stop Mr. Flower now?

KING SNAILBERT: What about Mr. Flower?

ZORKOLCH: You don't know?

KING SNAILBERT: No, I don't. I haven't seen him in months.

ZORKOLCH: Mr. Flower took away TV and next week he's going to take away something more important.

KING SNAILBERT: Oh. How is this relevent to me?

ZORKOLCH: You're the king.

KING SNAILBERT: All right, fine, I'll stop him. {pause} Hey, The Wheelchair, I'll give you a fake beard if you stop Mr. Flower.

{The phone rings. After a second or so it stops and a guard snail comes onscreen holding a phone.}

GUARD SNAIL: {giving phone to King Snailbert} It's for you.

KING SNAILBERT: Hello? {pause} Oh hey, son. How's that party you're at? {pause} What!? You're in jail! {pause} Oh my...

{The Wheelchair snatches the phone away from King Snailbert and hangs it up.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: So, George told you everything, didn't he? He told you how Zorkolch and I went to court against him and how there, we proved ourselves innocent and George guilty of framing me of kidnapping the albino cheat, didn't he?

KING SNAILBERT: No...that was my son Bobby, who burned down Atlantis accidentally at a party and went to jail. But thanks for that important piece of information which will consequently make you and Zorkolch end up in the dungeons!

THE WHEELCHAIR: Oh. Crud.

{Cut to a hallway at Homsar Prison. George is visible behind bars as a guard snail passes by.}

GEORGE: Stop! {The guard snail stops} Let me out of here! It was a mistake! I never framed The Wheelchair!

GUARD SNAIL: Homsar says to give you a negative comment, so...STOP LYING! YOU'RE GUILTY AND YOU KNOW IT!

GEORGE: I'm not lying! The only reason I wanted to keep The Wheelchair in jail so bad was because he made me sit in a cage for a year and a half! But I'd never go to the lengths to steal an albino cheat who was under tight government security and then put it in The Wheelchair's closet!

GUARD SNAIL: Homsar says to tell all prisoners who back-talk that the world hates him and nobody likes him.

GEORGE: This prison is owned by my dad! I could call him and make the prison release me!

GUARD SNAIL: Homsar says to give any prisoner who back-talks twice a shotgun and a key to the cell.

GEORGE: Sweet!

{Cut to Zorkolch and The Wheelchair in the same cell in King Snailbert's dungeon.}

THE WHEELCHAIR: You know, it's like I go from one prison to the next prison.

ZORKOLCH: Stop talking. Your voice is getting annoying.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, you're not gonna kill me in my sleep, are you?

ZORKOLCH: Well, I would, except I don't know how to kill a wheelchair.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Goodies.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on The Wheelchair at the end to make The Wheelchair say stuff:

THE WHEELCHAIR: Hey, wanna hear a knock-knock joke?

ZORKOLCH: No.

THE WHEELCHAIR: Knock-knock. {pause} Interrupting cow.

A COW: {breaking down a prison wall and attacking Zorkolch} Moo!

Fun Facts

• This was the longest non-special email when it came out, and the first one to be over 150 lines since mr. e.
• Rafael and Donatello are two of the names of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
• The Wheelchair's comment about the speed of the boat is a reference to the previous email, where the boat immediately speeds away.