Total Drama Wiki Island/1/Barracuda

The cabin for the Roaring Barracuda. BARRACUDA ONLY, but nobody really follows that.

Transcript

{Fenri and Ryan walk in}

FENRI: Hm. Nice cabin.

RYAN: I love how we're on the same team!

{Jerry walks in.}

JERRY: Hey, there. Fox. Robot. I'm Jerry, the one normal person on this damn island.

{zoo punches a hole in the ceiling, and falls onto the top bunk of one bunk bed.}

ZOO977: Hi! I CALL THIS BUNK! {jumps back through the hole.}

JERRY: ... {sighs} See what I mean?

{Jerry leans in to the two.}

JERRY: Listen... I need you two to vote me off the island. Please. I do not want to be here.

{Cut to Lemon hiding outside. He is thinking to change all the votes to everybody but Jerry. He laughs quietly. Cut back.}

{zoo fishes out Fenri, Ryan, and Jerry. He then closes the hole, and surrounbs the cabing with nails}

ZOO977: Ahhh... peace and quiet.

JERRY: ... Come on! I'm surrounded by morons and Mary Sues!

ZOO977: I have a sudden craving for poisonout forest berries. {leaves the cabin. Apparently, he didn't cover the stairs}

JERRY: {sighs} I am getting off of here as soon as I can.

{Cut back to Lemon.}

LEMON: {whispering} I will replace all votes of Jerry to somebody else... But how?

{cut back}

{zoo comes back with a handful of mutant poisonous berries}

ZOO977: Yum yum! {trips. the berries spill everywhere. one flies into lemon demons mouth, and he swallows it. cuts back to the cabin. zoo has every berry in his hand}

RYAN: Well, I brought a pack of things for me and Fenri to do. We've got SSBB, chess, drawing pads, and board games. You guys like Mouse Trap...right?

ZOO977: Yay!

{Chwoka enters}

CHWOKA: Oh mother of all guns, it's Zoo.

ZOO977: Hello!

ESTELLE: {Enters}

CHWOKA: Zoo, get out. Now.

ZOO977: I wonder... {walks out, leaving a note on his bed}

{Chwoka reads the note. It reads "I'm still here. suddenly, ryans bed shakes violently}

ZOO977: PUT ME IN DOTS CABIN!

JERRY: Ooh, tension already. Hey, Chwokoman.

ESTELLE: {Sigh} I am surrounded by idiots.

JERRY: Tell me about it.

{the floor stops shaking.}

CHWOKA: Zoo, I'm serious. Get the #$%^!!#*R*^%&%^(^_#! out.

GUY: {off-screen} That's quite the long swear!

CHWOKA: Because it's not one!

ZOO977: {outside} JUST SWITCH ME INTO THE OTHER CA- {a significant clonk is heard, along with dot and zoo's screams}

CHWOKA: ...is he dead? Tell me he's dead.

{a view through the door shows the top of zoo's feet about 2 feet deep in a small hole. dot goes into the water}

JERRY: Damnit.

CHWOKA: Jerry?

{the door then shows zoo getting out of the hole. he enters the cabin}

ZOO977: Hi, guys!

CHWOKA: Let us escort Zoo outside, for he is no longer allowed to do anything in here.

{Sephiroth comes in with a large plank of wood. He hits it over Zoo's head. It knocks him out.}

SEPHIROTH: There. Problem solved.

JERRY: So... anybody want a drink?

{Jerry takes out a bottle of rum.}

JERRY: I've been dry for a week. I need some of that aqua vitae!

{Chaos opens the door with his leg, and kicks it shut. He's holding a small backpack.}

CHAOS: Save some for me. I brought some shot glasses.

JERRY: Oh, awesome! Can you conjure up some ice or something?

CHAOS: Let me try.

{Chaos whistles, and a skeleton comes up with ice.}

CHAOS: Man, That never gets old.

JERRY: Nice. Hey, Skeleton! One whiskey on the rocks!

{The skeleton arranges Jerry's Drink}

SKELETON: Here you are sir.

CHAOS: Go get us more liquor, slave!

SKELETON: As you wish.

{The Skeleton leaves. Cut to it running into the ocean.}

CHAOS: He'll be fine.

SEPHIROTH: I don't drink. I smoke. {Lights up a cigarette, and holds up packet.} Want one?

{Outhuse Cam:Chaos}

CHAOS: I can't help but think we should be positive role models for the viewers, but, I don't really care! We're here to have fun, so by god, let it be so!

RYAN: Hey! Chaos! Sephiroth! Glad you could make it. Have you guys met Fenri yet?

{Pan to Fenri, wolfing (heh, get it) down some chips}

FENRI: {mouth full} Hello!

CHAOS: Hey, Fenri Lunaedge! I loved you in MMZ4. Your Mini-Boss was the most annoying thing ever, though.

{Chwoka punches Chaos and Sephiroth out.}

CHWOKA: I hate those guys. {Chwoka drags all the unconcious bodies outside and gives 'em the ol' heave-ho. He locks the door} There.

{the doors shadow acts weird. then, it forms back into zoo}

ZOO977: Guys, I will try not to be annoying if you don't lock me out.

{Outhouse Cam: Jerry.}

JERRY: Chwoka is my friend and all, but he's starting to get on my nerves. Its the first day and he's already trying to kill off everybody! He tried to kill off the guy who got me a drink! That isn't cool, man.

CHWOKA: {shakes with rage, then calms down.} Okay...okay, Chwoka, if you're going to win, you can't let everybody's past get to you... {climbs up to the top bunk} Oh, I'm not claiming this or anything. Just sitting...

{Outhouse Cam: Zoo977.}

ZOO977: Does anyone realise I can be a good person? Everyone is angry at me! Why? I dunno!

{back to the cabin}

ZOO977: {holding a neopet figurine} This is going straight up my nose!

CHWOKA: I don't care. Why must you tell us what you're about to do!? WHY NOT JUST DO IT!?

JERRY: Chwoka! Chill, man! Let's not tear throats while we're not being filmed.

ZOO977: {repeatedly hitting his face with the figurine} This isn't working. {melts into a shadow, comes up with the figurine half showing where his nose would be} Yay!

[Chwoka sheds a single tear}

RAIKU: Hi, i am new here. My name is Raiku. This is my idiotic friend Raggon. {Points to raggon}

RAGGON: HI!

ZOO977: {attempting to remove the figurine} It won't come out. {melt to a shadow} Its still attached. {form's back} This stinks.

JERRY: {sarcastically} Great, more winners.

RAIKU: Jerry, is it just me or are you and me the only sane guys in here?

CHWOKA: Oh god, I can see it...a riff waiting to happen...

{Chwoka freezes up}

{Chaos returns inside.}

CHAOS: I'll tear you a rift or two of flesh!

CHWOKA: Or maybe three! I know, I'm daring aren't I?

CHAOS: Oh, very. If I was blind I'd think you were some sort of cool guy.

ZOO977: {drinking a grape float} Sockerson will now talk as I drink this. {hold a sock puppet. as zoo makes him speak, purple goop goes everyhere.} That was pleasent.

CHWOKA: Aw man, now the sock is st-{unstiffens} Uh...sorry. What did I do?

RAIKU: Idiots, go to the other side of the cabin. Sane guys, come to this side.

{Chaos backs up next to Raiku.}

ZOO977: Hey!

SOCKERSON: {throwing the drink, in unisen} No fair!

{the two stare at each other blankly.}

FENRI: Guys, let's not tear each other apart here...well, except for me. I'm a Reploid.

CHAOS: {Laughs} I get it.

RAIKU: Sane people come over here.

CHWOKA: Everyone believes that they are sane. I, for one, am technically INsane because of my days as a lab rat, which is canon in this world.

RAIKU: THEN STAY OVER THERE!

CHWOKA: Raiku, come on down! The pric is right today, because you have horrible social skills! You jump right into things! Technically, you're insane!

[clockswipe, pretty soon, everyone is on one side of the cabin}

CHWOKA: ...as everyone here is insane by some way or another, I suggest we spread out amongst the cabin.

ZOO977: {continues drinking his soda. he spills it. The ice cream melts and makes the floor sticky and puirple} Oops.

RAIKU: How about we make aliances like big brother. I am with my god-brother!

CHWOKA: Hey Zoo? That purple spot? From now on, it's your bed.

CHAOS: He can't sleep on that! Though, there is only 10 beds, 1 girl, and 10 boys. Sorry Zoo.

CHWOKA: He can fit if he scrunches up REAL REAL tiny.

RAIKU: Chwoka, want to join me and chaos aliance?

CHAOS: I'm not in an alliance with you. Stop trying to copy things you see off of TV.

CHWOKA: Besides, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to form them in SECRET SHHHH.

ZOO977: You people are mean. {leaves}

CHAOS: Sweet, we've already scared a bunkmate.

RYAN: Dibs on this bed. {Ryan takes a bed}

FENRI: Dibs on top bunk! {Fenri hops on the top bunk. It breaks, crushing Ryan}

RAIKU: Lets get more people out!

{zoo is seen climbing a mountain. he takes tomething shiny out of his pocket}

CHWOKA: {off-screen} It' the detenator! RUN!

{Cut back.}

JERRY: Honestly, Satan-spawn, you're a pain. I mean it. A pain in the membrane. That membrane being my brain.

CHAOS: Whoever ends up bunking with me can have top bunk.

RAIKU: Me! {gets in bed}

{zoo throws the item down. two phone keys and a silver peice with the word chaos on it come in}

{Cut back.}

CHAOS: Look, I'm not spending every second of my time near you! I'm not bunking with you.

{Outhouse Cam: Jerry}

JERRY: I don't know who this "Son of Satan" is, but he's annoying. He's too happy. I hate that.

CHAOS: Hey, Jerry, wanna bunk? You seem gloomy and cool enough to be considered a "friend" by my standards.

{Chwoka}

CHWOKA: The camera probably cut it out, but I think Jerry's clinically depressed. If only we could find a cu-waitaminute...

RAIKU: I CALLED IT DONT MAKE ME GOE SATAN!

{Outhouse Cam: Fenri}

FENRI: Um...can I get a bigger outhouse?

CHWOKA: Hey Jerry, check out what I brought in my suitcase...

{Chwoka shuffles over to the bed in the corner.}

{Jerry slaps Raiku.}

JERRY: {extremely angrily} SHUT UP! JUST... SHUT UP! RIGHT NOW! I DON'T CARE IF YOU GO SATAN OR NOT! JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUT! RIGHT! NOW! AAAARGH!

{Jerry walks over to Chwoka's bed.}

JERRY: What?

{a rumble is heard. zoo is seen outside, running in front of tons of boulders}

CHWOKA: We both seem a little stressed out, but guess what I brought? {goofy grin}

CHAOS: Pills. Bad prescription Pills.

JERRY: Quit spying on us, demigod.

[Chwoka THROWS Chaos, then opens up his suitcase.}

CHWOKA: Remember these?

{Chaos re-enters the cabin, and tiptoes past the two.}

{Raiku re-enters and begins to pester Jerry.}

{Jerry grabs Raiku and starts strangling him.}

JERRY: JUST STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

{Jerry starts going berserk on Raiku.}

JERRY: {punch} SHUT YOUR {punch} DAMN MOUTH YOU {punch} PIECE OF CRAP! {punch} JUST DIE ALREADY! {punch} DIE!

RAIKU: I CAN GIVE YOU WIFE HELP!

CHWOKA: Seriously!? You think he and Casey are having trouble?

RAIKU: I know everything!

FENRI: {grabs Raiku by the scruff of the neck} Raiku, behavior in the cabin reflects on who we vote off too.

{Outhouse Cam:Chaos}

CHAOS: Raiku's leaving first.

RAIKU: I am sorry. lets restart. oh, and what is your name?

{Outhouse Cam: Ryan}

RYAN: Agreed.

{a boulder rolls in. a flatten zoo rolls out on the floor like a carpet.}

{Jerry cracks Raiku in the jaw. Raiku falls onto the ground, unconscious.}

JERRY: {panting heavily} Problem solved.

ZOO977: {muffled} Im saddened.

JERRY: Why's that, sir?

{Chwoka carries his suitcase out the door, tapping Jerry's shoulder.}

ZOO977: Must... Reinflate... {crawls outside}

JERRY: Alright! I get it. Let's head outside with this.

{zoo scooches under the carpet. an orange bed with a canopy raises, which zoo is laying on}

ZOO977: Yay!

CHAOS: You sneaky sly fox.

ZOO977: What?

CHAOS: You and your orange canopy bed rising from the carpet.

ZOO977: Okay. {falls asleep.}

{Outhouse Cam:Chaos}

CHAOS: And Everyone else was pretty much to themselves that night. There was that silent Cat Girl, Raiku's idiotic and also silent "Friend" Raggon, Ryan and Fenri, Raiku, who we chained to the bed and duct-taped his mouth, so it was expected of him, and Jerry, the only person I liked, and Chwoka, the only person I could tolerate as long as Jerry, were out somewhere, ALONE, with something that's probably dangerous.

RAGGON: Raise your hand if you want Raiku to go home! {Raises hand}

{Outhouse Cam: Ryan}

RYAN: But...but...I thought Chaos liked me and Fenri...Oh well. Eh, so far, it's been...ok. We all know who's going first...

{cut back}

{man-o-man walks in}

MAN-O-MAN: Is anything important happening here?

{Sephiroth walks back in.}

SEPHIROTH: I went out for a little walk. And also, Chwoka if you dare try to knock me out and throw me out again, I will rip off your manhood, and feed it to your suffering body.

CHAOS: So...what do we do now?

MAN-O-MAN: Wanna start an unofficial race? That's a good way to start this day.

CHAOS: It's 4 in the afternoon.

SEPHIROTH: Umm... I could cook something... I make good burgers.

MAN-O-MAN: I am hungry, lets order pizza! Does anyone have bars here?

JERRY: ... I don't think there is a pizza place around here, Man-oh-man.

{Jerry walks over to Raggon.}

JERRY: Hey, Raggon? I'm sorry about earlier, with the whole "knocking out Raiku" thing. I was stressed out, and the fact that Skully brought me to an island kinda irked me off. So, if you and I could be... friends? That would be neat.

SEPHIROTH: I'll make burgers then. {Outside, some chopping noises are heard, and some burning noises too. He comes in with a plate of burgers.} Hope you like Seagull! It was the only thing I could get.

MAN-O-MAN: I'm not even sure I like regular burgers, there's a lake, who wants fish?

SEPHIROTH: I'm allergic.

MAN-O-MAN: Well eat your bird burgers then, I'm having fish. {leaves the cabin}

JERRY: Well, I'll go find something to eat for myself. Maybe some berries will do the trick.

{Jerry leaves the cabin.}

ZOO977: {wakes up. He begins reading the unreleased script for Benders Game. He chuckles occasionally}

RAGGON: Sure Jerry. We can be friends. Also, Raiku deserved it. ALOT.

JERRY: Alright! I'm glad I can make friends with people.

RAIKU: UNCHAIN ME FROM THIS BED NOW!!!

RAGGON: Should we?

CHAOS: No.

{Zoo leaves the cabin with the script. his wallet rests on his bed}

{Sephiroth goes to Raiku, and starts balancing plates on sticks on his face.}

SEPHIROTH: I love doing that. It's even better when the sticks, and the host are doused with gasoline, and there is an alight lighter balancing on the stick instead.

{Jerry walks in with some shroomkabobs.}

JERRY: Hey, guys, shroomkabobs!

{Outhouse Cam: Zoo977}

ZOO977: Why does everyone hate Raiku? He's ok! Well, either Chaos, Sepiroth, or Chwoka are going.

{Outhouse Cam: Jerry}

JERRY: I, myself, feel like Lemon's going to be the first to go. No idea why.

RAGGON: Jerry, I think either Zoo or Raiku should go home.

{Outhouse Cam: Chaos}

CHAOS: And that's when Raggon made the most sense I've ever seen. He was right. Zoo does whatever he wants, and Raiku is completely out of control and stupid.

JERRY: Well, that's fine with me. I think we should keep votes to ourself. By the by, what's with you and Raiku, Raggonman?

RAGGON: Raiku may be my "friend", but he's also a pain in the arse. He is "ALWAYS" like this. And Zoo wants Chaos out. I overheard him talking, but I may just be hearing things because I am an "idiot".

JERRY: Huh. You don't seem like the "idiot" type. Well, I have to admit, Chaos is a bit irritating.

RAGGON: I can be "dumb", but I can also be "smart". And Chaos is irritating because of his "god-brother" Raiku.

JERRY: You know, you can stop ragging on Raiku, that's fine. I know he can be irritating, too, but I honestly don't hate the guy.

ZOO977: I think I know who I want to go home.

RAGGON: Who?

ZOO977: O.

LATER..

RAGGON: YEAH! LEMON WENT HOME!

ZOO977: YAAAY!

{Raggon bunks with Jerry}

RAGGON: Good Night Y'all!

{Lemon's head, faded out, is seen in the middle of the room. It soon ripples out. You can here "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME. I HAUNT THE CAMPGROUND"}