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To Dreamland and Back

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"A road comedy in a world not quite like ours.."

Act 1: In Which Both Premise and Characters are Established with Relation to Story

A VERY LARGE COCKROACH lays atop a barn, on his back. He snores.
LARGE COCKROACH (mumbling)

...well, ladies, you can call me Mitch...

INFLATED SUIT struggles to get atop the barn. MITCH turns over, away from Suit. Suit waves his arm frantically.
MITCH (mumbling)

...french toast...caviar...

SUIT grips the gutter with his cuffs. MITCH rolls over again, away from Suit, and falls off the top of the barn. Mitch jolts stiff, and flips over. He rubs his head, and looks at his surroundings. When he sees Suit, he gives a slight jump, and begins walking upright towards
MITCH

Suit, why did you throw me off the top of the barn?

SUIT waggles around frantically.
MITCH

Wait... what?

SUIT inflates himself and waggles spastically.
MITCH

Where? I've gotta see this!

SUIT and MITCH are out front of a club. A OVERSIZED PENCIL blocks the entryway. A FISH sits at a stand, to the left of Mitch and Suit. Mitch walks up to the pencil, carrying Suit with him.
MITCH

Two swingin' guys ready to party! Right, Suit?

MITCH lifts SUIT up. Suit does not respond.
PENCILLIN/OVERSIZED PENCIL

No can do.

MITCH

What!? Why not?

PENCILLIN

Read the sign.

PENCILLIN falls over, revealing a sign reading "Seals Only". SUIT pulls out a cigar from his breast pocket, and lights it. MITCH takes the cigar. Suit pulls a fake mustache and sticks it to Mitch's face. Mitch wiggles the cigar.
MITCH

Well, I've heard of clubbing seals, but never seals clubbing!

MITCH hands the get-up back over to SUIT, who puts the cigar, still lit, in his pant's pocket and the mustache in his breast pocket. Mitch walks over to FISH LADY. Suit slaps the pocket where he put the cigar repetitively.
MITCH

What's wrong? Too hot for you?

SUIT starts flailing around frantically.
MITCH

Well, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!

FISH LADY

Dahling, what's wrong with your strange friend?

MITCH

Oh, he's just layin' his moves down.

SUIT starts manically running(?) about. He eventually catches fire.
MITCH

... Oh. Yikes.

FISH LADY

You know, I predicted this.

MITCH

Why didn't you tell us!?

FISH LADY

You have to pay.

MITCH

Is there any other way I can pay?

MITCH winks.
FISH LADY

... N-no.

MITCH

Oh. Well, I'll have to pay the conventional way, then. Suit!

Gold coins begin pouring out of SUIT'S breast pocket.
FISH LADY

How did he...?

MITCH

He's a small wonder.

SUIT's tie turns to a shade of red.
MITCH

Oh, don't be so coy, Suit!

FISH LADY

50... 60... yep, that covers it! Thanks, hon. Alright, here's your psychic...thing: your world is an illusion!

MITCH

WHAT!?

FISH LADY

It's true! We're all the subconscious of some "dreamer", and we're all gonna die when they wake up!

MITCH

Well, that's simply unacceptable! Where can we find the dreamer?

FISH LADY

You can find him where the story grows stronger!

MITCH

Well, Suit, it looks like we are going on a road trip!

SUIT stops being on fire, gets up, and dusts himself off.