The World's Greatest/39

Aww yeah

Transcript

{Open to the two, both of whom are wearing headbands and sunglasses. A beat is playing in the background.}

QUINT: {Rapping} You know we're always being stupid but it's time for a change
I'm here to show the world what is within my range
So me and my pal Henry yo we got this all arranged
So now I've started rappin' 'bout my life as Koala bear
I'm short and I'm cuddly and I'm covered in hair
And though I might look cute to intrude or I will scare
But even though I'm great I gotta take a breath
And though I could afford it I do not take Crystal Meth
Anyway this been Quint, not my brother Seth

HENRY: {Rapping} So Henry's here rappin' 'bout his trip to Maine
And even though it's long and I have right to complain
I'm so bad-ass I'm still goin' I don't strain
So I have to blades and an engine in the back
And the room I have inside me well this is just wack
and if you disrespect me I will give you a smack
Now this ain't the best beat I could do far better
And my mouth is so dry even the Sahara's wetter
so now I'm gonna let my buddy Quint freestyle another letter

QUINT: So even though it says bear I'm actually marsupial
and despite not being human I still get all the groupies - all
and I'm all refreshed and ready now I've had a drink of soup eel
...flavoured, is what I would of said
but I ran out of syllables saved it for the next line instead
also with soup you should have a bit of bread
now I don't think there's a chorus but we gotta keep going
just like the sun keeps on shining and the winds keep on blowing
and up in the Antarctic it just keeps on feckin' snowing

HENRY: Sorry, gotta interrupt, I got things to say
I've been riding through these winds from August to May
I'm running out of food and out of games to play
I'm rapping and I'm running and I'm robbing the stores
and while I do this no sweat drips from my pores
and I do it whilst doing eighty-million chores
you see this is a very special episode of our show
for once no guest characters named Francis or Joe
considering usually twenty four hundred tend to show up in a row

QUINT: See this is the last time, you go by the rule of three
also I gotta stop I really need to pee
also just clarifying I am a total G
So I'm not just rude I'm completely defiant
My gonads even larger than Andre the Giant
All the ladies love it so much and I will be their suppliant
I walk around town knowing that I'm completely balla
And then the bitches see me they go "holla holla"
and that's the last of the rhymes from the world's greatest koala.

HENRY: So I have the privilege of finishing this song
it's gone on even longer than my eighty foot schlong
yeah, sorry about the last lyric, that really was just wrong
see, this annoys me so much I just gotta go on a rant
I know I shouldn't say it but I can't stop it, I can't
and then my ego shrinks to the size of an end
anyway here's the last few lyrics of this dreadful rhyme
so to finish up here's some herbs: mint and thyme
some fruits as well: banana, lemon and orange.

{The beat stops and Henry exhales, exhausted.}

HENRY: What was the point of all this?

QUINT: Just to prove I was never on meth.

{Short pause}

QUINT: NO REALLY I

{End}