The SkullB Show/45

Overview

Episode 45: Brotherly Love

SkullB meets up with his long-lost brothers.

Transcript

{Open: the Living Room. SkullB is taking a sign out to the front yard.}

JERRY: Hey, Skully. What's with the sign?

SKULLB: Oh, this?

{SkullB turns the sign around. It reads, "All Skullbuggies Welcome".}

SKULLB: I've been wondering--what happened to my other siblings? I mean, I know Number Two's still alive, but what happened to the others? It's kinda weird, you know, not knowing where your younger brothers are.

{SkullB goes out and hammers the sign into the front lawn and returns to the living room.}

SKULLB: All I want to know is who my brothers are.

JERRY: Yeah, I get you.

SKULLB: I hope this works.

JERRY: A sign? Really.

{The doorbell rings.}

SKULLB: I'll get it!

{SkullB opens the door to see Don Skull and Edward Skullington}

DON SKULL: Hey, Skully!

JERRY: ... You're kidding.

{Cue theme song.}

JERRY: Oh, hell, there are more of you?

SKULLB: ... Didn't I tell you this?

DON SKULL: Hey, big bro! How's it been?

SKULLB: Pretty good. I got a big deal, and now I'm on TV!

DON SKULL: Really? Same here!

SKULLB: I heard, man! What about you, Ed?

EDWARD: {in a mock British accent} Oh, I've been spending my time in my luxurious mansion in West Besterbergur-

SKULLB: Drop the accent, Ed.

EDWARD: ... {normal voice} Alright. Fine.

SKULLB: But about the mansion, seriously?

EDWARD: I wish. It's just my friend's place.

SKULLB: Ah, Edward. You're such a compulsive liar.

JERRY: Uh, Skully? Should I stay here, or is this going to get incrementally more messed up as it goes?

SKULLB: Oh, you should be safe for a couple minutes.

JERRY: ... Welp. Got nothing better to do.

SKULLB: So, Don, how's it been over where you're staying?

DON SKULL: You wouldn't believe it...

{Flashback: the Records of Bell house. Don Skull is on the couch, reading what appears to be a comic book.}

DON SKULL: Ah, it's nice to be able to relax for a day.

SARAH: {offscreen} Uh, DS? Can you help us for a minute?

DON SKULL: {groans} Hold on, I'll be right there.

{Don Skull tosses his comic book behind the couch and walks into the other room. In here, Bell, Bling, Sarah and Tracy are stuck to a katamari.}

DON SKULL: Oh, Jesus.

IM A BELL: Long story. Want us to cut it down a little bit?

DON SKULL: I think I get the gist of what happened.

TRACY: So, yeah. Mind helping us down?

DON SKULL: Let's think for a second. Do you deserve it?

TRACY: ... What?

DON SKULL: Let's see, here... you blew up our old house while I was in it, you've kicked me a couple times, you constantly spout innuendo that I'd quite honestly rather go without, you mangled me into some sort of flying costume, you dashed my hopes and dreams of becoming a radio show host...

{Fade to black. Fade in a short while later, and Don Skull is still listing off things.}

DON SKULL: ... and there was that time with the goldfish, and I'm pretty sure you shot me this one time, you sued me for defamation--WHICH, I might add, was not what I did--and WON, you ate that mushroom I was saving for a friend of mine, and there was that one incident involving a pair of sweatsocks and a bottle of gin that I'd rather not revisit. Did I forget anything?

IM A BELL: ... No?

DON SKULL: My point exactly. Which is why I'm not helping you.

{Don Skull walks off.}

IM A BELL: ... Oh, boy. What are we going to do now?

MATURE BLING: Hope to God somebody saves us?

{The King of All Cosmos picks up the katamari and holds it in his hand.}

KING: Why, this katamari is beautiful! This may be the biggest katamari I've ever seen! We shall put it in the sky!

SARAH: Wait, WHAT?!

{The King of All Cosmos tosses the katamari into space and it becomes a planet. Underneath, the words "Wibble Planet" appear.}

{Cut: the streets of the Internet. Don Skull is walking along the sidewalk. Suddenly, he stops in front of a large building labeled "Craigslist". He looks inside the window to see a bulletin, flashing the words "Missed connections: looking for Skullbuggies!" After a few seconds of reading, Don Skull walks into a door marked "Convenient Internet Exit".}

{End flashback.}

DON SKULL: So yeah, that's kinda what happened.

SKULLB: Wow. What a story!

JERRY: {dryly} I give it two thumbs up.

DON SKULL: I like that blond guy, what's his name?

SKULLB: Oh, him? He's just a homeless guy who lives here.

JERRY: Wh-

EDWARD: {in a mock British accent, again} A-hem! May I share with you the story of my origins?

SKULLB: If you drop the damn accent, you might.

EDWARD: {sigh} Alright, fine. {in a less fanciful accent} So, it all started back in the mansion...

{Flashback: Badstar's mansion. Edward is walking through the halls. Suddenly, a clattering noise comes from a nearby room. Edward walks in to see GSM and Demyx fighting.}

EDWARD: Oh, dear... What's going on in here?

GSM: If this jerk would just accept his lack of style, maybe I'd-

DEMYX: Oh, shut up! I'm the cooler one, you dig?

GSM: The only thing I'll be digging is my fist out of your face, after I punch it! Hah, yeah!

DEMYX: {sarcastically} Oh, somebody call the ambulance and take me to the BURN ward! Pah! I've seen better insults from... your Mom!

GSM: YOU LEAVE MOM OUT OF THIS!

EDWARD: Fellows, please! Tone it down, if you will-

GSM: Stay out of it, Tophat!

DEMYX: Yeah, Tophat! You have a top hat.

{Edward sighs and leaves the room. He walks over to his room and plops himself down on the bed. Kyubii walks in a few minutes later.}

KYUBII: Hey, Eddy. What's up?

EDWARD: Oh, this place is taking its toll on me. I've never been so stressed out!

KYUBII: I know how you feel. Ever since I got here, there's always been a certain tension around this place.

EDWARD: I... I just need a break is all. I guess I need a vacation!

KYUBII: Man, you need it! Go out and let yourself go!

EDWARD: Fine, then! It's settled--from now on, Edward Skullington III is his own man!

KYUBII: Robot.

EDWARD: Robot. Whatever.

{Cut: outside the mansion. Edward steps out and takes a deep breath. He immediately starts to cross the street and is hit by a mail truck. He stays plastered onto the front of the truck for several minutes, when it finally stops in front of SkullB's house. Edward falls off of the truck, gets up, straightens his hat and monocle, and dusts himself off.}

{End flashback.}

SKULLB: Huh. That was interesting.

EDWARD: And to think--the only part of me that I hurt was my cooling system!

{Pause.}

EDWARD: Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

SKULLB: Nah, it's just you.

{Edward bursts into flame.}

DON SKULL: Yeah, it's definitely just you.

SKULLB: So! We're all here... well, except Number Five--

DON SKULL: You mean Daigo?

SKULLB: ... Who's Diego?

DON SKULL: Sarah found him. His name's Daigo now.

SKULLB: Really! Why didn't he come?

DON SKULL: Oh, he just doesn't like us.

SKULLB: Huh. What a shame.

{Pause.}

SKULLB: So, now that we're all here, save a couple, what are we going to do?

DON SKULL: I don't know. Ed?

EDWARD: Nothing.

{Pause.}

SKULLB: Oh! I've got it!

{Cut: outside a theater. Jerry and Casey walk up and see the marquee.}

CASEY: "The Brothers Skulls' Musical Murders"?

JERRY: Yeah, they decided to do an off-Broadway three-man musical-slash-mystery-slash-variety show. Don't ask me, they just like hyphens.

CASEY: Huh.

JERRY: You wanna go do something else entirely?

CASEY: OH GOD YES.

{Cue credits.}