The SkullB Show/4

Overview

Episode Four: Super Stars

Story Arc: Deal with the Devil

Casey gets a big record deal with Jerry at her side when her singing talents are discovered by a hotshot record dealer. Meanwhile, Tom and SkullB make a new enemy.

CAST: Jerry, SkullB, Casey, Ryan Seacrest, Tom, Stan

PLACES: Decentville Bowlomatic, The Food Court, The Plaza (Mall), Sound Studio, Alpha Psi Psi House, Meeting Room, Pi Omega Pi House

PAGE TITLE: Part One of Two!

Transcript

{The episode opens with Jerry and SkullB at the Decentville Bowlomatic. Jerry is up.}

JERRY: And Jeremy throws the ball, determined to get a strike...

{Jerry gets a strike.}

JERRY: Heck yeah! Stee-rike!

SKULLB: Don't brag, man.

JERRY: Well, why not?

{A bowling ball falls through the ceiling and hits Jerry in the head.}

SKULLB: That's why.

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: The Decentville Mall. Casey and Jerry are there, shopping.}

CASEY: Jer, can we stop by the Bed, Bath and Beyond? I want to see what lotions they have.

JERRY: Well, I know the answer already.

CASEY: Thanks, Jer!

{Suddenly, while the two are walking, Casey stops in awe. Jerry keeps walking and starts dragging her.}

JERRY: Geez, how much of that frozen yogurt did you eat, Casey?

CASEY: L-look...

{Shift: a giant stage in the plaza. A man is there, announcing an event.}

RYAN SEACREST: Hey, all you guys! I'm Ryan Seacrest, and we're broadcasting live from Decentville, USA! Today, we're looking for up and coming acts of talent, and we're letting anyone and everyone on stage!

CASEY: RYAN!

JERRY: Hey! Who is this Ryan guy? Why, if I find him...

CASEY: Ryan Seacrest, you dolt! You know, he's on Idol!

JERRY: Oh. Isn't he ga-

{Casey punches Jerry in the mouth.}

CASEY: You will NOT ruin this for me!

{Casey runs up to the stage.}

RYAN SEACREST: Hey, there, ma'am! What's your name?

CASEY: Casey Harris, 23, and I'm ready to rock! WOOO!

RYAN SEACREST: Well, nice to meet you, Casey! So what is your talent?

CASEY: I can sing! Real good!

RYAN SEACREST: Well, sing, Casey! You're on, LIVE!

CASEY: AAAAA!

{Cut: Tom and SkullB walking through the mall. Suddenly, some windows break.}

TOM: Oh what the heck?

SKULLB: Casey. She and Jerry are on a date.

TOM: Oh.

SKULLB: Aaaaand Ryan Seacrest is here.

TOM: Oh.

{Suddenly, SkullB bumps into someone.}

????: Hey, watch your step, bra!

{Pan up to show a frat boy.}

CHAD: You might have torn my jacket, you little dweeb!

TOM: Hey, where do you get off, you... Chad!

CHAD: Hey, that's my name! And all of my friends' names!

SKULLB: Chad. That name reeks of Abercrombie cologne and Elmley shades.

CHAD: Like, out of my way! Me and my boys are gonna go down a keg or five then vomit in someone's mailbox! Ah-huh-huh-huh-huh!

{Chad walks off.}

SKULLB: God, what a jerk.

TOM: So who's that guy?

SKULLB: From what I remember, that guy's from the local frat house: Alpha Psi Psi. I should know, I went to Decentville City University. He hasn't graduated college in, like, five years!

TOM: What a lowlife.

SKULLB: You know, that guy's got it coming. He's the worst guy on campus, and I think he's got quite the karma building up.

TOM: Yeeeah, so what are we gonna do about it?

SKULLB: Trust me--I've been planning this since Kindergarten.

{Cut: The Plaza. Casey has just finished singing.}

JERRY: Thank God we cut away from that. I don't think anybody could listen to her for more than a minute.

RYAN SEACREST: Wow, that was impressive! Here's a girl who's got talent.

CASEY: RYAN HAVE MY BABIES!

RYAN SEACREST: Heh, no thanks. I'm taken.

{Casey steps off the stage. Suddenly, she is confronted by a man in a suit.}

SUITED MAN: Hey, there, girl.

CASEY: Hey, hey! I have a name, you know!

SUITED MAN: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste. I also sell records. Pleased to meet you! Hope you guess my game!

CASEY: You must be a... member of the Rolling Stones?

SUITED MAN: Ah, no. I am a scouter for a major record label. I saw you singing, and I thought long and hard about this...

CASEY: You want to sign me onto your record label?

SUITED MAN: Ah, that's right! Now that we know who we are, let me give you my card.

{The man gives Casey a business card.}

CASEY: "Screamin' Demon Records"... Stan A.? Is that your full name?

STAN: Yes, indeed. The A stands for absolutely nothing.

CASEY: Welp, this seems legit! Thanks, sir!

STAN: Just meet me tomorrow over at the office building. I'll be there.

CASEY: Th-thanks, sir!

STAN: Don't call us, we'll call you!

{Stan walks off. Jerry then walks up to Casey.}

JERRY: Who... was that? Did he touch you? WHERE DID HE TOUCH YOU?

CASEY: Take a chill pill, hothead. It's just this guy named Stan, and he wants to sign me onto a big record label!

JERRY: A big record label?

CASEY: Yeah, Screamin' Demon Records!

JERRY: I know those guys!

CASEY: Can you believe it?

JERRY: No!

CASEY: Oh. Well, if I'm getting signed onto a record label... you want to be my manager?

JERRY: All kinds of yes!

CASEY: Yeah!

JERRY: We're in the money now!

{The two jump and the frame freezes.}

BOTH: Yeah!

{Cut: The Food Court. SkullB has a diagram laid out on a table, with Tom looking over his shoulder.}

TOM: I take it this is the big plan?

SKULLB: Yeah! I call it... "Operation Unstoppable"!

TOM: Well that's a dumb name.

SKULLB: Well it's better than your idea.

TOM: You mean "Operation Sexy"? That's a great name!

SKULLB: Please. We're trying to humiliate this guy, not seduce him. Anyway, the plan is thus...

{Cut: the diagram.}

SKULLB: We start off by inviting him to a big old party, as well as his friends. When they get there, we get them drunk off their rockers. When they get drunk enough, we take them over to a specially rigged camera booth. When we press the timer button, a water gun strategically placed under Chad's spot will activate, making it look like he wet himself! Not only will his colleagues laugh at him, we'll have blackmail material!

{Cut: The Food Court.}

SKULLB: So? What do you think?

TOM: Honestly? This sounds so contrived and opportunistic that it must work! Let's get to work, Skully, my man!

{Cut: A recording booth. Casey is inside.}

JERRY: Alright, we're recording... now.

CASEY: {inhales}

{Cut: The Alpha Psi Psi frat house. SkullB and Tom are behind a bush.}

TOM: I don't wanna wear this! It makes me look like a jerk!

SKULLB: Exactly! You need to be one of them! Remember; speak like you're hammered.

TOM: Alright... whoops! I mean-- {slurring} Aight. This good, bra?

SKULLB: Perfect! Now then, take these and give them to those Chads!

{Tom walks up with the invitations and rings the bell.}

CHAD: {from inside} Chad? Can you go get that? Oh, I see. S'cool, bra. I'll get it. {opens door} Hey, little bra. What you want?

TOM: {in frat boy voice} Hey, bra. I just got word of this kegger, bra? It's being held over at the Pi Omega Pi house! You wanna come, bra?

CHAD: Yo, I'm tight, bra. {takes invitations.} Aight, we'll be there.

{Chad closes the door.}

TOM: {pulls out a walkie talkie} This is Mama Eagle; egg has been laid. Repeat, egg has been laid. Do you copy?

SKULLB: I'm right here!

TOM: Oh. {puts down walkie talkie} Can I still be Mama Eagle?

SKULLB: Sure, if it makes you feel good.

{Cut: Recording Studio.}

JERRY: Alright! We're good! Thank God for cutaways.

CASEY: Alright, let's take this to Stan!

JERRY: Alright. I guess.

CASEY: Alright!

{Cut: The Meeting Room. Stan is at the head of the table, Casey at the other end, holding a tape.}

CASEY: Alright, here's my audition tape.

{Casey slides it across the table, Stan catching it.}

STAN: Ah, this is perfect. Let's see how it is, shall we?

{Stan puts the tape in a tape player and presses play.}

{Cut: A frathouse. All the Chads are there, as well as Tom and SkullB in disguise.}

SKULLB: Alright, I think they're drunk enough.

{SkullB turns towards the group of Chads.}

SKULLB: Hey, bra-theren! Come over here for a picture, bra!

CHAD: Aight! Woo! Spring Break '08!

{The Chads stand at the photo booth, Chad (the leader) above a big X.}

SKULLB: Alright, smile, bra!

{SkullB pushes the timer button, and the squirt gun squirts water onto the leader Chad's pants. The other Chads look at him and laugh.}

CHAD: Wait... wh-what?

{The picture is shot, and SkullB grabs it as it exits the camera.}

SKULLB: Ha HA! We win, Chads!

{SkullB and Tom take off their disguises.}

SKULLB: It is us! Team... Team...

TOM: The Sexy Beasts!

SKULLB: ... Dangit Tom, you weren't supposed to drink.

TOM: Sorry, bra! I got a bit... a bit too in-character!

SKULLB: Ugh. Well, anyway, we have the picture!

CHAD: What?

SKULLB: Now, then, unless you want the world to see you wet yourself, I suggest you follow our orders. Got it?

CHAD: ... Sure, bra.

{Cut: The Meeting Room. Stan has finished listening to the tape.}

STAN: Perfect! This is just the voice we need! We can get Chad Kroeger to do a duet with you! You'll be famous!

CASEY: I will? AA-

JERRY: Shh shh shh! We don't want to pay for more windows.

CASEY: _eeeee

STAN: Now, if you want to be on the label, just sign here.

CASEY: YESYES.

{Casey hastily scribbles on a signature.}

STAN: This, uh... this looks like a turtle.

CASEY: I took some artistic liberties, okay?

STAN: Ah, formalities aside. Welcome to the Screamin' Demon family!

CASEY: Yay!

JERRY: Alright, let's leave. I'm hungry.

STAN: {as the two leave} Have a great time!

{After the two leave, Stan turns around.}

STAN: Ah, I will have a great time as well! AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! Hum. Mm.

{Cut: The Food Court. SkullB is there, sitting on Chad. Tom, Jerry and Casey are also sitting there.}

SKULLB: Well, it looks like we had a good time today! I got a new slave...

TOM: I experienced my first hangover...

JERRY: And Casey and I got a deal on a big record label!

CASEY: Yeah!

{Pause.}

CASEY: Hey, does anyone have any brains on them? I'm feeling a bit hungry.

{!!!}

{Cue end credits.}

TO BE CONTINUED?

HMM?

Ask Jerry

JERRY: Hey, all. Nobody's been writing in. So... write me! WRITE ME!

{Pause}'

JERRY: There's a link on the main page! CLICK IT.

Trivia

• Stan's first line is an adaptation of the Rolling Stones song "Sympathy for the Devil". Hint hint.
• Alpha Psi Psi, if said in English, translates to something obscene. :D
• Chad Kroeger is from Nickelback.
• There will be a part two.