The SkullB Show/32

Overview

Episode 32: Split Personalities

Identities are finally revealed in the mid-season episode! Will SkullB win against the evil Number Two?

CAST: Number Two, Assistant, SkullB, Jerry, Guy Newscaster, Woman, Man, Casey, Jon Correspondent, Fran, Announcer

PLACES: The Dark Room/The Lab, the Living Room, the City Streets, the Gym, the Don King Arena

PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show!

Transcript

{Open: the Dark Room. The two figures are there again.}

?????? ???: Alright, then, the power should be on soon.

?????????: What a relief! For a while I was worried that we'd stay in the shadows until episode 37!

?????? ???: ... What?

?????????: Ngh- never mind.

{The lights flicker on. Now with the lights on, one can see the true identities of the two figures. The taller one is a pallid man, with jet-black hair and strange black-and-white clothes. Beside him is a Skullbuggy, but with a black chassis and a grey skull with pointed teeth. The Skullbuggy's eyes glow red, and a number "2" is painted on his side.}

ASSISTANT: Wow... was the room always so laboratorial?

NUMBER TWO: Is- is that a word? Laboratorial?

ASSISTANT: I don't know, I just haven't seen the room in weeks.

NUMBER TWO: Huh. Well, now that the power is on, I can finally finish my dastardly plan!

ASSISTANT: Plan?

NUMBER TWO: Oh. I didn't tell you about the plan?

ASSISTANT: Yeeeeeeah. We never really got around to that, did we?

NUMBER TWO: Oh, okay then. Now, about the plan. I-

{Cue opening theme.}

{Cut: the Lab.}

NUMBER TWO: ... What I was trying to say was that I've been monitoring Skullbuggy for years now. Using all the data I've been gathering, I've been trying to find out his weakness. Now that I've got all the information I need, I can finally eliminate Skullbuggy!

ASSISTANT: Uh, Master?

NUMBER TWO: What is it, Assistant? Can't you see I'm busy monologuing?

ASSISTANT: Look, I hate to be the devil's advocate, but... are you sure it's going to work?

NUMBER TWO: I have spent five years preparing for this. No way is this going to fail.

ASSISTANT: Okay, then. If you're so certain...

NUMBER TWO: Good! Now let us make haste... Decentville awaits!

{The two exit the room.}

{Cut: the Living Room. Jerry and SkullB are there, watching TV.}

JERRY: Hey, Skully, have you heard that when you watch TV, they're beaming information into your head?

SKULLB: Uh... no?

JERRY: Well they're not, but wouldn't that be weird?

SKULLB: Yeah, probably.

JERRY: Hey, there's something on the TV!

SKULLB: Jerry, we've gone over this before. That's a television show.

JERRY: Listen, man!

{The camera zooms in on the TV, where a newscaster is broadcasting.}

GUY NEWSCASTER: Today in paranormal investigation, Channel 5 takes a look at strange sightings around town! Amateur photographers have taken photos of a strange machine piloted by what looks like a spaceman! Let's take a look.

{A photograph of Number Two and Assistant is shown on the screen. The two are at the Burgerdome, eating.}

GUY NEWSCASTER: We don't know what it is, but rest assured, we'll be trying to get a hold of the spaceman and his strange robot! Now don't touch that dial, because later, we'll be looking at cute dogs!

{The camera turns back to show Jerry and SkullB still on the couch. SkullB has an incredulous look on his face, while Jerry looks about the same.}

SKULLB: Holy... is that what I think it is?

JERRY: I don't know. Hey, they're showing dogs later!

SKULLB: Dude! That looked like me!

JERRY: And? It could be a photoshop of us two guys. I mean, we were at Burgerdome yesterday.

SKULLB: But... how? I don't think that's us...

JERRY: Dude. Dogs.

SKULLB: It still bothers me, though. What if that's another Skullbuggy, and not just a photoshop?

JERRY: Did you not just hear me? Dogs.

SKULLB: I'm sorry, I need to go look around the city. This just doesn't settle with me, like a bad burrito.

JERRY: Okay, do whatever. I'm gonna just stay here. Dogs, man.

SKULLB: God, will you shut up about those damn dogs?

{Cut: the Decentville city streets. SkullB is on the sidewalk, walking around. People are looking at him as he passes by. A couple walks up to SkullB.}

MAN: Hey, honey! It's the space robot from the news!

SKULLB: Sorry, you've got the wrong guy. That Skullbuggy was black.

WOMAN: Oh. Is he your brother?

SKULLB: Strange thing is, I'm not sure.

MAN: Ah.

WOMAN: Well, it's nice to meet you!

SKULLB: Same here!

{SkullB continues on.}

MAN: {offscreen} Look, honey! The real spaceman and space robot!

SKULLB: What?!

{SkullB turns around to see Number Two and Assistant.}

ASSISTANT: Uh... nice to meet you!

NUMBER TWO: It's nice to see a fan! Want an auto-

{Number Two suddenly looks at SkullB.}

NUMBER TWO: I'm sorry, sir, ma'am. I've got somebody to take care of.

{Number Two runs up to SkullB.}

NUMBER TWO: You!

SKULLB: You?

NUMBER TWO: Skullbuggy! It's been a while, hasn't it?

SKULLB: I'm sorry... who are you?

NUMBER TWO: You don't remember? I'm Number Two! Well you probably wouldn't remember, anyhow... You were a bit... different back then.

SKULLB: Oh, yeah. The personality chip, right.

NUMBER TWO: You got that fixed yet?

SKULLB: Yep. Tony's amazing when it comes to machinery!

NUMBER TWO: Tony? Is that your friend's name?

SKULLB: Friend? Oh, no. Tony's just my mechanic. You're thinking of Jerry.

NUMBER TWO: That's his name? Ah! Sorry, I forgot it for a minute.

SKULLB: Understandable. He doesn't make much of a presence, does he?

NUMBER TWO: Yeah, he's a wallflower, ain't he?

SKULLB: Yeah. Yeah.

NUMBER TWO: Anyhow, the real reason I'm here... to kill you!

SKULLB: What, here?

NUMBER TWO: ... You're right! It's a bit dangerous, out in the city.

SKULLB: Tell you what, how about we reschedule this?

NUMBER TWO: Yeah. How about the arena, high noon tomorrow?

SKULLB: Sounds good.

NUMBER TWO: Alright! See you then!

{The two leave.}

{Cut: the Living Room. Jerry is half asleep on the couch. Casey walks in and kicks his shin.}

JERRY: Yeowch! What the hell?

CASEY: Jerry, I haven't seen Skully in a couple hours. Where is he?

JERRY: Looking for something that may or may not exist.

CASEY: What, like a joke that hasn't been blindly ripped off from the Simpsons?

JERRY: Casey, the self-referential stuff was funny in season three. This is season four!

CASEY: Wow. Really living up to the motto today.

{SkullB walks in. He then raises his wheel as if to be flipping off Jerry.}

SKULLB: He exists. What now?

JERRY: Wow, holy crap. Really?

SKULLB: Yep.

{SkullB "flips off" Jerry again, using both wheels.}

CASEY: Wait a minute. What exists?

SKULLB: My brother. The one who exists Jerry you jerkfoot.

CASEY: Really? Gush, man! I love gossip!

SKULLB: Alright, then. It goes like this apparently. When I was created, I was a prototype of sorts. My chip malfunctioned, I was junked. That's when my brother, Number Two, was created. Three others were created, but they were junked as well, under law. Apparently Number Two was saved, and he's been plotting against me for years now.

CASEY: So that's how it happened?

SKULLB: It's convoluted but yes.

JERRY: Wow, it's like that robot from Sonic Adventure, but less moronic.

SKULLB: Exactly!

CASEY: So what, did you kick his ass?

SKULLB: We rescheduled. We're fighting tomorrow at the arena.

CASEY: ... You agreed to a reschedule with your enemy? What kind of wussy move is that?

SKULLB: Trust me. It was better than fighting in the middle of the city.

CASEY: Are you kidding? That would have been amazing! A well-thought out fight scene would have been awesome!

SKULLB: Well we're fighting in an arena. How about we do that instead?

CASEY: ... Oh, you might as well. If you're going to be fighting him, I'll be your trainer. I mean, you've got a day, right?

SKULLB: Yeah, good point.

CASEY: Now let's go to the gym!

{Cut: the Gym. SkullB and Casey are there. Casey is dressed as a trainer and SkullB is wearing a muscle shirt.}

CASEY: Alright, maggot! It's time to turn that flab into pure, muscle! Say it with me, maggot! MUSCLE!

SKULLB: Casey, I'm not comfortable with this... can you please cut down on the anger?

CASEY: Shut up! If we're gonna get you to beat up your evil twin, we need you to get in shape!

SKULLB: I'm a robot! How much do I need to get in shape?

CASEY: Shut up, that's how much! Now start lifting those damn weights!

{SkullB starts lifting weights.}

SKULLB: How is this going to help me? I can shoot him!

CASEY: Yeah? Well you can shut up and lift those weights!

{Cue a montage. During the montage, SkullB lifts weights, jumps rope, and runs track repeatedly. He gets progressively better with each rotation. Finally, it cuts to a scene where SkullB punches a punching bag straight off the chain. Casey nods in approval.}

{Cut: the arena, pre-fight. SkullB is in the back, as well as Casey.}

CASEY: Alright, Skully. This is what we trained for. Now are you going to give it your all?

SKULLB: I'm gonna give it my all!

CASEY: You'd damn well better give it your all! Now get out there and kick some shiny metal ass!

{SkullB runs out of the room with a determined look on his face.}

CASEY: You're a good kid, Skull. You're a good kid.

{Cut: the other back room. Number Two is there, as well as Assistant.}

NUMBER TWO: Alright! I am pumped!

ASSISTANT: You'd better be. I've heard this guy has killed a ton of demons... and Satan himself!

NUMBER TWO: ... Really?!

ASSISTANT: Well, this is just a rumor. Except it was on the news. With pictures.

NUMBER TWO: ... Really?!

ASSISTANT: You can do this, man! You've got an arsenal full of deadly weapons! You could take down a tank!

NUMBER TWO: Yeah, but so could he! How do you know he couldn't kill me in a split second?

ASSISTANT: Come on. Besides, you've got something he doesn't.

{Assistant points to a button in Number Two's carriage.}

ASSISTANT: Dude, whip that out if you're losing. I'm sure you'll get the edge.

NUMBER TWO: ... And why can't I use it at the beginning of the fight?

ASSISTANT: Would that really be fair?

NUMBER TWO: As villains, I'm not sure we strive for fairness.

ASSISTANT: Whatever. You should probably get out there now. It's about to start.

NUMBER TWO: Alright, then. Let's do this! Yeeeeah!

{Number Two runs out. Assistant follows suit.}

{Cut: the arena. Guy Newscaster is at a table in front of the ring, as well as another person.}

GUY: Hello, there! This is Guy Newscaster and Jon Correspondant of Channel Five, live at the historic Don King Arena. Isn't it great, Jon?

JON: That's right, Guy. Today, we've got quite the battle. Two robots--you heard that right, robots--are going to be fighting to see which one is superior!

GUY: Exciting, isn't it? ... Wait, the fight's about to start. Let's watch!

{An announcer walks onto the ring.}

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Don King Arena! Tonight we have an amazing fight! Get ready for the Robot Rrrrrrumble!

{The audience starts cheering.}

ANNOUNCER: In the battling blue corner... we have the Wheeled Wonder, the original Skullbuggy... Skullbuggy!

{SkullB walks onto the ring, pumping his "arms" as he enters. The audience cheers.}

JERRY: Go, Skully!

FRAN: You can do it!

{Casey walks over to SkullB's corner.}

CASEY: Alright, Skully. You've trained for this.

ANNOUNCER: Isn't he a charmer, folks? Now, in the ramblin' red corner, we have the Mean Machine, the Gizmo from Pismo... Beach... Number Two!

{Number Two enters the ring. The crowd jeers at him.}

NUMBER TWO: Oh, you cheer for that guy just because they gave him a good nickname? Come on!

SKULLB: I thought you agreed on the fact you were evil!

NUMBER TWO: How about- how about we disregard that for a bit?

ANNOUNCER: Oh, the two are already at it! Can we get a ding-ding?

{The bell rings. SkullB quickly rams into Number Two, sending him into one of the corner posts.}

NUMBER TWO: Oh, come on! I wasn't ready!

{SkullB runs at Number Two again, this time giving him a swift uppercut and sending him in the air.}

ANNOUNCER: Would you look at that? He's getting some serious air time up there!

NUMBER TWO: How the hell am I losing?

SKULLB: I trained under the best person I know.

{Number Two lands on the ground. He runs at SkullB and headbutts him, sending him into the rope. SkullB uses this chance to spring back at Number Two and punch him square in the stomach. Number Two endures the hit and whacks SkullB in the side of the head, knocking him down.}

ANNOUNCER: Wow! And here I was thinking that Skullbuggy would dominate!

NUMBER TWO: Oh! What now? What now?

SKULLB: Oof... that hurts.

CASEY: Get up, Skull! Get up, ya bum!

{SkullB gets up and starts jabbing at Number Two. He eventually finishes the combo with a powerful right hook. Number Two is sent into the corner post again, breaking it.}

ASSISTANT: Master! The secret weapon!

NUMBER TWO: Oh, yeah! That.

{Assistant quickly presses the afformentioned button. Number Two starts to convulse, and starts morphing.}

ANNOUNCER: My God! What's happening to Number Two? He's starting to transform!

{Number Two continues to transform and he finally turns into a massive mech.}

ANNOUNCER: What is this? Is this legal?

NUMBER TWO: Hey hey hey! This is nice!

SKULLB: Holy... can I do that?

{Number Two sends a gigantic fist rocketing at SkullB. SkullB quickly dodges it. The fist starts to return to Number Two.}

CASEY: Skully! Get up on the hydra's back! I mean, get up on Number Two's head!

SKULLB: Alright!

{SkullB jumps onto the fist, which allows him to hop on Number Two's head. He starts to box it around.}

NUMBER TWO: Hey, hey, hey! Quit it!

SKULLB: Then give up!

NUMBER TWO: I don't think so!

{Number Two shakes SkullB off of his head and onto the mat. As he lands, SkullB breaks through the mat and lands on the floor below. He looks up to see Number Two peering through the hole.}

NUMBER TWO: Hey, there! How's it going?

SKULLB: I'm not doing so... hot...

NUMBER TWO: Well allow me to heat things up!

{Number Two suddenly sends a column of flame SkullB's way. SkullB rolls out of the way, only to have to dodge another. He keeps doing this for a couple seconds, until the whole floor is burnt off.}

ANNOUNCER: My God! It's getting to be quite a battle!

SKULLB: I'm getting weaker... I don't think I can do it...

NUMBER TWO: Oh ho! Looks like I win out in the end!

{Number Two grabs SkullB and starts to crush him.}

SKULLB: Gaaaah! Help me!

CASEY: Skully! You can't die here!

SKULLB: I... can't fight back... I'm done for.

NUMBER TWO: That is right! I've finally eliminated you!

{Number Two drops SkullB. He lands on the floor with a thump.}

CASEY: No!

FRAN: No!

JERRY: Skully!

ANNOUNCER: It looks like Skullbuggy's down for the count! Why do the good die young?

NUMBER TWO: Oh, I'm the master! I am the winner! What? What?

{As Number Two cheers himself on, SkullB weakly gets up. He looks at Number Two and starts charging his SkullBeam to the fullest extent.}

NUMBER TWO: You know I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it! I am the champion, my friends!

{SkullB finishes charging the SkullBeam and fires it. Cut back to the arena, where Number Two is still cheering. Suddenly, the SkullBeam shoots straight through Number Two's chest, leaving a massive hole.}

NUMBER TWO: ... Oh. That's... quite the hole.

{Number Two starts morphing back into his usual form. He then falls down to the ground, landing next to SkullB.}

ANNOUNCER: Oh my God! What an upset! It appears as both buggies are down for the count! But who's going to win?

{Long pause. Suddenly, from under the ring, SkullB climbs out. He walks over to Casey.}

SKULLB: Hello... Casey. How is it going... to- today? Why not grab a slice... of taco pie?

{SkullB falls down.}

ANNOUNCER: It looks like Skullbuggy is the winner!

JON: Truly an epic battle, Guy. Truly.

GUY: You know, I never thought that in my life I'd see a pair of fighting robots. Looks like I was proven wrong!

JON: That's right. Thanks, everyone, for tuning in. I'm Jon Correspondent...

GUY: And I'm Guy Newscaster. From Channel Five... good night.

{Cut: the Living Room. SkullB is lying on the couch as the others surround him.}

JERRY: ... Skully? Are you okay?

CASEY: He's not up...

FRAN: Is he... dead?

{SkullB starts to giggle. He then starts laughing and he wakes up.}

SKULLB: Oh, man... how long was I out?

JERRY: About three days.

SKULLB: Woah.

JERRY: I've gotta say, it was a bit scary.

CASEY: We thought you were never going to get up!

SKULLB: Well, everyone's okay, right?

JERRY: Right!

SKULLB: Great, great. How about a nice good group laugh?

{Everyone starts laughing. Fade to black.}

{Cut: the Lab. Number Two wakes up on an operating table.}

NUMBER TWO: Oh, man... didn't I have a hole blown through me?

ASSISTANT: Worry not, Master--I fixed you up! You should be good as new!

NUMBER TWO: Awesome. Can I still transform?

ASSISTANT: Yeeeah, about that. It turns out the blast took out a small energy cell in your body that powers the transformation. Since there were only three made, each in your younger brothers, I can't replace it.

NUMBER TWO: ... No.

ASSISTANT: Sorry. But you aren't dead! You've got that going for you!

NUMBER TWO: Yeah, but can I turn into a giant monster robot?

ASSISTANT: We-

NUMBER TWO: No! I can't! So I've got that going for me!

ASSISTANT: I'm... I'm sorry-

NUMBER TWO: You know what? I would demote you to intern if you weren't my only worker!

ASSISTANT: Oh. So... what do we do now?

NUMBER TWO: We wait. Wait for our chance to strike again.

ASSISTANT: Like, in five more episodes?

NUMBER TWO: ... Look, if you keep breaking walls the roof's gonna fall down. Do you want that? To be crushed by a roof?

ASSISTANT: Okay, sorry!

NUMBER TWO: Shut up and help me plot.

{Cue credits.}