(even if you aren't vegan)
The SkullB Show/30
Overview
Episode 30: Robo-Communist
Decentville is attacked by what may be the dumbest villain ever created!
CAST: Jerry's Stunt Double, SkullB, Jerry, Shadowy Figure #1, Shadowy Figure #2, Robo-Communist, Casey, Monsieur Mort
PLACES: The Living Room, Dark Room, Decentville Mall
PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show!
Transcript
{Open: the Living Room. Jerry and SkullB are on the couch.}
SKULLB: Well, the polls are in. People don't like our humor.
JERRY: I thought we had good humor.
SKULLB: While we may have good humor, it seems people on the internet like dumb humor. Random humor, if you will.
JERRY: So... what?
SKULLB: So I've decided to make the show a little more Bonus Stage-ey!
JERRY: How would you do that?
{Jerry's head explodes.}
SKULLB: Like that!
{Cue theme song.}
{Cut back to the Living Room. Jerry walks back into the room.}
JERRY: Thank God that was just my stunt double.
SKULLB: Yeah, that idea was a bit stupid.
JERRY: Well, looks like we're starved for plot. Wonder what we do now?
{Cut: a dark room.}
?????? ???: Is it done yet?
?????????: Yes, Master. Introducing...
{A beam of light illuminates a large tube. Inside the tube is a red robot with a hammer and sickle.}
?????????: Robo-Communist!
?????? ???: Yes! It's complete! My masterpiece is... wait. Why did we make a Communist robot?
?????????: Don't ask me. I just built it.
?????? ???: Huh. Well whatever. It's capable of harm, isn't it?
????????: Well, he has a hammer and a sickle, so...
?????? ???: Perfect! Those fools will never see it coming!
?????????: Yeah... why are we targeting them again?
?????? ???: You know, Assistant, if you keep asking questions I'll have to shut you up. With a gun. That I have. I have one.
{Pause.}
?????? ???: Robo-Communist! Activate!
{The eyes of Robo-Communist glow yellow.}
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Yes, master.
?????? ???: Now then... head on over to Decentville and attack these three.
{The shadowy figure hands Robo-Communist a sheet of paper with SkullB's, Jerry's, and Casey's pictures on it.}
?????? ???: I trust you'll eliminate them?
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Anything for Mother Russia.
?????? ???: Good! Now quit "Stalin" and go!
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Ahahaha! I appreciate your humor! It reminds me of biting into turnip. Painful and unsatisfying!
{Cut: the Decentville Mall. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are walking around.}
CASEY: Is there not a prouder bastion of capitalism in this state than the mall?
SKULLB: ... Does anybody talk like that anymore? "Is there not"? Are you a member of the League of Villains or something?
CASEY: Shut up.
SKULLB: No, seriously, does anyb-
{Casey kicks SkullB.}
CASEY: Hey, I warned you.
JERRY: So why are we here again?
CASEY: I was going to splurge on whatever clothes I felt looked cute enough. I'm not gonna wear them, though.
JERRY: Wow. Whoever write this blows at writing for female characters.
{Cut: Zippy's studio.}
ZIPPY: ... What? I just animate.
{Cut: the Mall.}
JERRY: Okay, we need to stop that.
{Suddenly, a scream is heard.}
JERRY: What's happening now?
ROBO-COMMUNIST: {offscreen} Ahahaha! Taste the power of Mother Russia!
SKULLB: That stereotypical accent can mean only one thing...
{Pan and zoom to show Robo-Communist bashing tables at the food court with his hammer.}
SKULLB: ... Robo-Communist!
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Yes, that is right! I am here to destroy you and your capitalist way of life! Seeing you waste precious money on nothing but clothes and fattening foods makes my motherboard smoke with anger!
SKULLB: But... why us?
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Look, I do not pretend to know what my Master's wishes were. But I am here to destroy you, and that is that.
JERRY: Huh. So why a Communist robot?
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Need I remind you? I do not know why. But I digress. Prepare for death!
{Robo-Communist takes his sickle and tosses it like a boomerang at SkullB. He swiftly dodges and the sickle heads toward a nearby column. The column is sliced in half as it returns back to Robo-Communist. Robo-Communist catches the sickle and now grabs a hammer. He runs at Casey, hammer at the ready. Casey, thinking quickly, jumps on top of the now fallen column and then onto Robo-Communist's head. She covers his eyes with her hands.}
CASEY: Jerry! Grab something!
{Jerry nods as he runs towards a sports store. Robo-Communist starts rapidly spinning in an attempt to get Casey off. Eventually, Casey is thrown off of the robot and into the wall. She falls unconscious.}
SKULLB: Uh, Jerry? A little help?
JERRY: {offscreen} You got it!
{Jerry runs out of the sports store, holding a bag of baseballs.}
JERRY: Skully, take these and shoot them at him!
SKULLB: I could shoot him, too.
JERRY: Oh. Then do that!
{SkullB readies his SkullBeam.}
SKULLB: Keep him off me for a bit! I need to charge up!
JERRY: Oh, come on! I never had a good pitching arm...
SKULLB: JUST DO IT.
{Jerry grabs some balls and starts tossing them at Robo-Communist. A couple of them hit Robo-Communist, while others he bats away with his hammer. Eventually, Robo-Communist tires out.}
ROBO-COMMUNIST: Ugh... my circuits are shorting out...
JERRY: Now!
{SkullB fires a massive SkullBeam at Robo-Communist, who takes it in full. Robo-Communist starts to smoke and shake. He then explodes.}
SKULLB: I win! Do I get a power?
{A small text bubble appears above SkullB reading "YOU GET: C. SICKLE". SkullB turns red.}
SKULLB: Nice.
JERRY: Casey! Are you okay?
{Jerry takes her pulse.}
JERRY: Oh, she just fell unconscious. Thank goodness.
SKULLB: Let's go home, why not?
JERRY: Okay. You carry Casey.
{Cut: the Living Room. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are on the couch. Casey is still unconscious.}
JERRY: Well. That certainly was an odd fight.
SKULLB: We should be thankful that nobody died.
{Casey wakes up.}
CASEY: Oof, my head... what happened?
SKULLB: You were thrown into a wall.
CASEY: Oh.
JERRY: Are you alright?
CASEY: I'm fine. I don't remember math, though.
JERRY: Don't worry. You don't need math.
{Cut: the dark room from before.}
?????? ???: ... Wait, what? WHAT? No! Aww, come on! This shouldn't have... what? Yes, it is running... HEY! You sons of...
{The figure hangs up.}
?????? ???: Why do all of my field agents like phone pranks? Whatever. Assistant!
?????????: Yes, Master?
?????? ???: Get to work on my newest robot! I'm sure that those fools will be no match... for Monsieur Mort!
{A tube lights up, showing a robot mime.}
?????? ???: No, wait. That's a terrible idea.
{Cue credits.}