The SkullB Show/3

Overview

Episode 3: Super Fight

SkullB and Jerry get in a fight and split their apartment.

CAST: Casey, Skullbuggy, Jerry, Tom

PLACES: The Food Court, SkullB's Apartment, Casey's Apartment

PAGE TITLE: Sitcom Hilarity!

Transcript

{The scene opens with Skullbuggy and Casey at the mall's food court.}

CASEY: Is every episode going to open with us eating?

SKULLB: YES.

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment. Jerry is sitting on the couch as usual, when SkullB walks in.}

SKULLB: Hey, Jerry.

JERRY: Where have you been?

SKULLB: I was at work. I totally have a job.

JERRY: Where?

SKULLB: You know... the job... aporium... The Jobaporium.

JERRY: Sure, I'll take your word for that.

{Jerry starts eating some potato chips.}

SKULLB: Wh-what is that--what are you eating?

JERRY: Chips.

SKULLB: Those... those wouldn't happen to be my potato chips, would they?

JERRY: What? No.

SKULLB: {angrily} I wrote my name on them.

JERRY: Oh, that? I thought it was a scribble.

SKULLB: It's my signature!

JERRY: Oh. Well they're just chips.

SKULLB: Just chips? Just chips?!

JERRY: I promise I'll leave you some.

SKULLB: Like I can trust you now.

JERRY: {stands up} And what does that mean?

SKULLB: Oh, today it's just chips. But then--then! It'll be my Moxie too! Then my bed, then--

JERRY: And who says I'll be doing all that? You're just getting mad at nothing!

SKULLB: NOTHING?! Those were my chips!

JERRY: Stop being such a baby!

SKULLB: Guh- why... you...

{SkullB runs over to Jerry's CD collection and grabs a CD.}

JERRY: What... what are you doing to my CD?

SKULLB: What's yours is mine, ese!

{SkullB tosses it out the window.}

JERRY: NO! NO!

{Jerry runs over to the window and looks out it, panicking.}

JERRY: That was my copy of Weird Al's Polka Party! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find that CD?

SKULLB: I don't know. Try asking the pavement!

JERRY: Oooooh, this is WAR!

SKULLB: You bet!

{Cut: Casey's Apartment. Casey is watching TV when suddenly a cacophony of noise comes from above her.}

CASEY: Cripes, is the King of Town getting his mega physical?

{Pause}

CASEY: No. No he is not. I can only guess what's going on now...

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment. SkullB and Jerry are fighting. Suddenly, Casey walks in.}

CASEY: STOP IT!

{The two enemies stop.}

CASEY: You two are being so immature! Now, usually, I'd be all goofy and such, but this is just stupid!

{SkullB and Jerry turn away from eachother.}

SKULLB: Tell that chip-eater I'm not talking to him anymore.

JERRY: And tell that CD-smasher I can hear him.

CASEY: Oh this is just moronic! You two should be ashamed of yourselves! Now, why don't we find a solution to this problem?

SKULLB: You're right.

{SkullB pulls out a paint roller and paints a line across the apartment.}

SKULLB: This {points to the right side of the room} is my half, and that {points to the left} is your half.

JERRY: Fine! There will be no crossing of the line.

SKULLB: Fine!

JERRY: Fine!

SKULLB: Okay!

JERRY: Yep.

SKULLB: Yeah.

JERRY: Fine!

SKULLB: FINE!

CASEY: {simultaneously} I'm leaving.

{Cut: later that night. SkullB is vigilantly standing watch from the couch. Jerry is on his side of the room, guarding the fridge. He is wearing a pot on his head and oven mitts.}

SKULLB: You know, I'm getting hungry.

JERRY: Well maybe you should have chose the side with the fridge!

SKULLB: No way! Then you'd have the couch!

JERRY: Mmf.

SKULLB: And besides, I have the bedroom too!

JERRY: And I have the bathroom.

SKULLB: ... You dirty rotten--

JERRY: You drew the line!

SKULLB: And you ate my chips!

JERRY: It always comes back to the chips, huh?

{Cut: The Food Court. Tom and Casey are sitting at a table sipping smoothies.}

TOM: So what's got you down, sweetcakes?

CASEY: Never call me that again. And it's just problems around the apartment.

TOM: Oh. Oooh.

{Tom leans in close.}

TOM: So who hit you?

CASEY: Nobody, stupid! It's S-B and J-Dawg--they're fighting with each other.

TOM: What, is this the requisite "two roomies fighting and splitting the house" sitcom plot?

CASEY: How... oddly correct. Anyways, I need those two to be friends again. I can't get any beauty rest with them fighting up there with their shouting matches.

TOM: Babe, you don't need beauty rest.

CASEY: I'm taken, thanks. And don't you have a girlfriend?

TOM: We don't talk about that canon around here.

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment. Both roommates are nearly asleep, fading in and out of consciousness.}

SKULLB: I... you... never have the couch!

JERRY: Heh... you've... you're... dumb.

SKULLB: No, no... you dumb.

{Jerry falls asleep.}

SKULLB: Hah! I... I win! I winner!

{SkullB falls asleep.}

{Cut: The next morning. SkullB wakes up and suddenly starts scanning the room, worriedly. Thankfully, Jerry is still asleep. SkullB then starts to tiptoe (well, as best as he can) toward the fridge. He starts to open it when Jerry wakes up!}

JERRY: Hm... huh...

SKULLB: I ghe--

{Jerry falls back asleep.}

SKULLB: Phew!

{SkullB slowly and tentatively opens the fridge door and grabs some cups of pudding. He then slowly walks back to his side of the room. Safe at his side, he opens a pudding cup. Jerry then wakes up.}

JERRY: Wha-

SKULLB: Aah!

JERRY: ... You... crossed the line, didn't you?

SKULLB: I was hungry!

JERRY: Oh, this is it. This is the last straw!

SKULLB: But I-

JERRY: It's time for punishment!

{Pause.}

JERRY: What did we agree on for punishment?

SKULLB: I thought we had them sniff your old BVDs.

JERRY: Oh.

SKULLB: Alright.

{Suddenly, Casey comes in.}

CASEY: Did you two... just agree on something?

SKULLB: Yeah, why?

CASEY: Don't you see? You're agreeing with eachother!

JERRY: And?

SKULLB: ... Oh my God, she's right.

JERRY: Hm?

SKULLB: We, for the first time in this stupid argument, agreed on something! Don't you know what this means?

JERRY: We... we're friends?

SKULLB: I... guess so!

CASEY: I knew it'd end well!

SKULLB: Come here, J-Dawg!

JERRY: Sure thing, S-B!

{The two hug.}

CASEY: Aww. This is probably illegal in the South.

{Cut: later that day. Everyone is on the couch.}

TOM: Well, doesn't this look like a happy ending!

CASEY: I know! Skully and Jerry became friends again, and I can finally get some sleep!

TOM: But this episode isn't as humorous as it could have been...

{Tom starts eating some chips.}

SKULLB: ... What are you doing?

TOM: I'm just eating some chips!

CASEY: Oh, Lord.

{Cue credits.}

Ask SkullB

SKULLB: Hey, all! Since Jerry's currently out helping Casey buy a {shuddering} bra, I'm filling in for him. Now to answer some mail!

Dear Skullbuggy,

How do you walk if you're a car?

- Michael J.

{Pause}

SKULLB: You know, I'd think people wondered about things other than how I walk. Well, to answer your question, Mike, I kinda prop up on my back wheels. That's how. Goodbye, everyone!

Trivia

• This episode's plot has been done before--one example I can think of is CatDog.
• Weird Al Yankovic's album "Polka Party" does exist, and is hard to find.