The SkullB Show/21

Overview

Episode 21: Skully IV

The SkullB Show gets back to the funny! In the biggest movie parody in the history of the show, SkullB must face off against Communist Russian Vladimir Impalovich to win a go-kart derby. Can he make it?

CAST: Jerry, SkullB, Casey, Vladimir Impalovich

PLACES: The Kitchen, Decentville Mall, The Gym, a road, the National Library, the Go-Kart Derby, Friendly's

PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show!

Transcript

{Open: the Kitchen. Jerry is drinking. Several beer bottles are littered on the kitchen table. SkullB walks in.}

SKULLB: Hey there, husband of the year! How's it going?

JERRY: Leave me alone.

SKULLB: You're regretting it, aren't you?

JERRY: Yeah.

SKULLB: Called it! What? What? Wh-

{Jerry clubs SkullB over the head with a beer bottle.}

SKULLB: What?

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: the Decentville Mall. Casey and SkullB are walking along the halls.}

CASEY: It's so nice that, although I'm married, I can still hang out with you like a friend, Skully!

SKULLB: How would marriage stop you?

CASEY: Good point. ... Hey! What's that?

{Casey stops and walks over to a window. Looking inside, she sees a very fancy handbag.}

CASEY: Wow... hey, Skully! Look at this!

SKULLB: What is it? ... Oh. That's... nice, I guess.

CASEY: Yeah. If Jerry really loved me, he'd get me that bag.

SKULLB: But he doesn't.

CASEY: Yeah. Good point.

{Pause.}

SKULLB: Wait, what's that?

{Pan over to show a poster for an event.}

SKULLB: A Go-Kart derby. Win five-hundred dollars. Big whoop.

CASEY: Wait! Skully, that's it! That handbag is four ninety-nine! If we enter that, we could get the money and the handbag!

SKULLB: What? Why would I demean myself like that? Nobody rides this wild horse.

CASEY: Hey, you'd do it for me. I know you would.

{Casey bends over and kisses SkullB on the cheek.}

SKULLB: Oh, yeah, I'll do it... wait! Damn you and your womanly wiles!

CASEY: YES! That handbag is as good as mine!

{Cut: a gym. Casey and SkullB are there. Casey is in instructor attire, while SkullB is wearing a headband and a muscle shirt.}

CASEY: Okay, maggot! We'll be getting you ready for that derby the best and most American way I know how. A training sequence!

SKULLB: I still don't know how this would make sense.

CASEY: Shut up and jump rope!

{SkullB starts jumping rope.}

CASEY: Yes. That'll do.

{Cue montage music. SkullB starts skipping rope, but trips. Casey shakes her head in disappointment.}

{Cut to a road. Casey is running while SkullB is driving down the road. SkullB trails behind Casey, who sighs in disappointment.}

{Cut to SkullB revving up in place. He gets tired after a few seconds. Casey sighs again.}

{Cut to the gym again. SkullB is skipping rope faster. Casey starts to grin.}

{Cut to the road again. This time, SkullB and Casey are running/driving side by side. Casey grins again.}

'Cut to SkullB revving up again. He goes longer this time. Casey nods in approval.}

{Cut to SkullB skipping rope extremely quickly. Casey smiles.}

{Cut to SkullB driving in front of Casey, who nods in approval.}

{Cut to SkullB revving up extremely quickly. He then lets go and drives up the steps to the National Library. When he reaches the top, he gets up and starts jumping up and down in victory. At the bottom of the steps, Casey grins and gives a thumbs-up.}

{Cut: the Go-Kart derby. SkullB and Casey are there, as well as numerous other people and their cars.}

CASEY: Alright, Skully. We made it this far. But we've got one problem...

{Pan over to show a large, muscled man in a large, red car with a hammer and sickle on it. Pan back to Casey and Skullbuggy.}

CASEY: That's Vladimir Impalovich. He's from Soviet Russia and he's said to be really good.

SKULLB: Didn't the Communist party dissolve in the soviet states after the Cold War?

CASEY: Yeah, but he likes to think that he's a Communist. Anyway, Impalovich is supposed to be nearly unbeatable. But we can do it, right, Skully?

SKULLB: Um... I guess?

ANNOUNCER: {over loudspeaker} Attention, all racers. The race is about to begin. Please line up at the starting line.

CASEY: This is your time, Skully. Get out there and win.

SKULLB: I'll do it.

{SkullB walks over to the starting line and stops beside Impalovich.}

SKULLB: Impalovich.

VLADIMIR: Who is this little baby?

SKULLB: The name is Skullivan D. Buggy. And don't you forget it.

VLADIMIR: Big words from little baby! I make you cry when you eat my dust.

SKULLB: Whatever, anachronizer. You can't beat America!

ANNOUNCER: On your marks! Ready! Steady! Go!

{Everyone takes off.}

ANNOUNCER: And they're off! And in the lead we have Vladimir Impalovich in the Communist Blocker! Following behind him is the lone car, Skullbuggy, being piloted by seemingly nobody!

SKULLB: Hey, buddy! Get out of the way so I can win!

VLADIMIR: Not likely, baby.

{Suddenly, two jets come out of the back of the kart and boost Vladimir away.}

SKULLB: Aw, damnit! He's cheating! Does- does nobody see that? Really?

{SkullB, thinking about his training, starts revving up and speeds off, catching up with Vladimir. Vladimir looks back to see SkullB riding his back. Sneering, he presses a button to make his car jump. SkullB looks above him to see Vladimir about to fall on top of him. SkullB quickly drives ahead, causing Vladimir to miss and fall into second place. Vladimir is now visibly annoyed, so he takes out a pistol and starts shooting at SkullB.}

SKULLB: Wh- gh- a gun?! Did nobody check him before the race?

{SkullB swerves to and fro to avoid the bullets. He then falls behind Vladimir for some reason.}

VLADIMIR: Ah, is baby recognizing defeat?

SKULLB: Not yet, Vladdy boy!

{SkullB shoots the SkullBeam from his mouth, blowing out one of Vladimir's tires. SkullB soars past him. Suddenly, Vladimir gets out of the car, pumps up his tire, patches it up and gets back into the car in a matter of seconds. Vladimir, now in top shape, pushes another button and turns his kart into a tank. He shoots a large bomb from the cannon that nearly hits SkullB. The resulting explosion takes out a large portion of the track, causing a number of children to crash. SkullB looks behind him to see Vladimir gaining ground rapidly. SkullB, with no other option left, jumps onto the tank's cannon. Vladimir tries to shake him off, but SkullB seems intent on staying. Thinking quickly, SkullB looks into the barrel of the cannon and shoots a SkullBeam into the tank. SkullB jumps off, and the tank explodes behind him. SkullB looks behind him and blows a raspberry. He zooms off into the sunset.}

{Cut: the Living Room. Casey, Jerry and SkullB are on the couch.}

SKULLB: You know, I still can't believe I lost to that kid down the street. What a wily little ba-

JERRY: At least be happy you got second.

CASEY: While I didn't get the handbag I wanted, we still got victory over the Russians!

SKULLB: And some coupons for free ice cream at Friendly's.

JERRY: Hey, I like the ice cream there. We should go.

CASEY: Yeah. We should.

SKULLB: Yeah.

{Cut: Friendly's. Casey, SkullB and Jerry are eating ice cream.}

SKULLB: What really gets me is that it's a children's racing competition and they somehow let me and a full-grown Russian man into the race.

CASEY: It's best not to think about it. Now eat your ice cream.

{Cue credits.}