(even if you aren't vegan)
The SkullB Show/20
Overview
Episode 20: Beach Blanket Matrimony
The SkullB Show gang go on another vacation!
CAST: Casey, Jerry, SkullB, Mike, a baker, Father Kilpatrick
PLACES: the Living Room, a dock, a cabin, a casino, a bar, a bridal shop, Decentville Bakery, Decentville Catholic Church
PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show!
Transcript
{Open: the Living Room. Casey and Jerry are sitting on the couch.}
CASEY: Hey, Jerry?
JERRY: What is it?
CASEY: {in a low voice} You know, it's been a while since... well, you know.
JERRY: Uh-oh. You're using your sexy voice. This means...
CASEY: Vacation!
JERRY: Ugh.
CASEY: Quiet! That vacation back in season two meant nothing! We need to have a tropical vacation! Something... romantic.
{SkullB runs into the room.}
SKULLB: I heard vacation. I'm coming.
JERRY and CASEY: Aw, damn.
CASEY: Oh! We're really a couple, aren't we?
{Cue theme song.}
{Cut: a dock. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are there. All but SkullB are in summer wear.}
JERRY: So where are we going, {sarcastically} my sweet?
CASEY: We're going to Miami Beach!
SKULLB: Miami Beach! Just like in Surfside 6!
{Pause.}
SKULLB: {in a high voice} Who lives there?
CASEY: I thought a vacation would help rekindle our relationship, Jerry!
JERRY: Joy of joys. You know I really don't want to leave the house, Casey.
SKULLB: Did anyone else notice that this is the first cold opening to actually relate to the episode?
{Pause.}
SKULLB: What? I've gotta live up to the motto.
{A loud horn blows.}
CASEY: Ooh! There's the boat!
{The three walk onto a ramp offscreen.}
{Cut: a cabin. SkullB and the others are there unpacking.}
JERRY: Wow. Luxurious!
CASEY: I know! I saved up for years for this trip!
SKULLB: All these beds are waterbeds! Isn't it ironic? Isn't- isn't it?
JERRY: Hey, baby? I'm off to the casino to go blow half the money in my wallet. The other half's going to ten-dollar bottles of whiskey the size of a baby's hand. See ya.
{Jerry walks off.}
CASEY: Jerry?
{Casey falls down onto her bed and starts to cry.}
SKULLB: Oh, Casey... What's wrong?
CASEY: Jerry... he never wants to spend time with me!
SKULLB: Oh, there there, Casey. Come on, cry on my shoulder.
{Casey leans over onto SkullB's shoulder and cries some more.}
SKULLB: Yeah... that's good. That's nice. Now, honey, how can I help you?
CASEY: I just want... I just want him to love me more!
SKULLB: Oh, I can do that. Don't you worry.
{Cut: the boat's casino. Jerry is at the slots, holding a cup of beer.}
JERRY: Oh, I am raking it in!
{SkullB walks over.}
SKULLB: Hey, Jerry. How's my deadbeat pal?
JERRY: Half-buzzed and playing the slots. The alcohol pays for itself!
SKULLB: Damnit man, you need to be with your girlfriend!
JERRY: Hey, hey, HEY! I can be a good boyfriend! Just... just let me finish playing.
SKULLB: Jerry, that's not good enough. You need to do things as a couple. Casey's a wreck right now!
JERRY: Ugh, fine. Where is she?
SKULLB: She's at the bar.
{Cut: the casino's bar. Casey is at the bar, sitting there. The bartender walks over.}
BARTENDER: Hey, sweetie! What's up?
CASEY: Not much, I just--hey, you seem... familiar.
BARTENDER: Nah, I'm just a bartender.
CASEY: You're Mike the janitor! I remember you!
MIKE: Casey? Wow, it's been a while! I thought your apartment blew up!
CASEY: Nah, we moved out. So how's life been treating you?
MIKE: It's been good. I've moved out, got this job on the boat, you know. I settled down, too. Got a wife.
CASEY: Really? That's great! Good on you!
MIKE: Yeah, yeah. So, why're you so upset?
CASEY: My boyfriend's being a jerk. He won't pay attention to me, not even on vacation! This was supposed to help our relationship!
MIKE: Ah, don't worry. He'll make it up to you, I'm sure.
CASEY: I hope you're right.
{Jerry and SkullB walk over.}
CASEY: Oh, hey. It's you.
JERRY: Hey, baby.
CASEY: I thought you were doing your own thing.
SKULLB: Nah, he wants to make it up to you!
JERRY: Yeah, I do! {to Mike} Hey, bartender! Get us some drinks!
MIKE: What'll you have?
JERRY: I'll have a Fuzzy Navel, and get Casey the girliest drink in the house!
MIKE: Two Fuzzy Navels, coming up!
SKULLB: {to Jerry} I know damn well you stole that joke from Futurama. I know.
{Cut: the cabin. Jerry and Casey are there by themselves.}
CASEY: How'd you get SkullB to get lost?
JERRY: I told him to go to the arcade.
{Cut: the arcade. SkullB is playing a video game.}
SKULLB: Yaaay! Yaaay! Ms. Pacman! Yaaay!
{Cut: the cabin.}
JERRY: So yeah. I just wanted to take this time to apologize to you about being such a jackass.
CASEY: Oh, Jerry. I don't know if I can forgive you.
JERRY: Really... oh. I guess I'm not a good boyfriend at all.
{Jerry starts to leave.}
CASEY: Jerry, where are you going?
JERRY: I'm a bad boyfriend, so I didn't think you'd miss me.
CASEY: Jerry... you must be serious.
JERRY: Yep. I am. Bye, Casey.
CASEY: Wait! Jerry, stop!
{Jerry turns around.}
CASEY: Jerry... I know you. You'd never leave me.
JERRY: Casey, I...
{Casey reaches into her bag and grabs a small black box.}
CASEY: Jerry, I want you to have this.
{Casey opens the box to show a ring.}
JERRY: Casey, I--
CASEY: Will you... marry me?
JERRY: Casey... I will.
CASEY: Oh, Jerry!
{The two hug. SkullB walks in.}
SKULLB: Hey, guys! What did I miss?
CASEY: SkullB... we're getting married!
SKULLB: You're what?!
{Cut: the Living Room.}
SKULLB: I can't believe it! You two are getting married?!
CASEY: Yeah, we are! It's amazing!
JERRY: I just realized how much I love her.
SKULLB: Yech. It's getting cheesy in here.
CASEY: The wedding's tomorrow, so I hope you'll make it!
JERRY: In fact, Skully, I want you to be my best man!
SKULLB: Uh, sure? I guess? I mean, this is all so confusing, I mean, my best friend is getting married, and--
CASEY: Oh, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me!
JERRY: Oh, me too.
SKULLB: I'll only do it if you play Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant at the procession.
{Cut: a bridal shop. Casey and Fran are there, looking for wedding dresses.}
CASEY: Now, I don't want anything white. I want a red dress!
FRAN: Wh- why?
CASEY: It symbolizes good luck in China!
FRAN: But... you're not Chinese.
CASEY: I'm Irish. Look, it's complicated, let's save it for another episode. So yeah, red dress.
{Cut: a bakery. SkullB and Jerry are there.}
SKULLB: Hey, baker, can we have a wedding cake?
BAKER: Ooh! Who's the groom?
JERRY: Me!
BAKER: So, what names should I put on it?
JERRY: Put the words, "Jerry and Casey: Together Forever"!
SKULLB: What is this, a cheesecake?
{Pause.}
SKULLB: Do you- do you get it? Cheesecake?
{Pause.}
SKULLB: I don't have to impress you.
{Cut: a church, the day of the wedding. Jerry and Casey, both in full attire, are at the podium.}
FATHER KILPATRICK: Do you, Jeremy Cohen, take Casey Harris as your bride?
JERRY: I do!
FATHER KILPATRICK: And do you, Casey Harris, take Jeremy-
CASEY: I do! I do!
FATHER KILPATRICK: Good. Any and all objections are to be voiced at this time. Anybody?
{Pause.}
FATHER KILPATRICK: Odd, I was expecting somebody to... well, okay. You may now kiss the bride.
{The two kiss. Everybody cheers.}
{Cut: the reception. This song is playing as people dance. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are at their own table.}
JERRY: Man, that was amazing!
CASEY: We're finally husband and wife!
SKULLB: Yeah, yeah. So now you're Casey Cohen, right?
CASEY: Yep! Isn't that great?
SKULLB: Yeah, yeah. Any regrets?
JERRY: Absolutely none!
SKULLB: Hah, you'll eat those words soon.
JERRY: I'll... what?
SKULLB: Oh, nothing. Happy wedding, y'all!
{The two kiss again. Pan over to show the owl watching.}
OWL: Oh, I'm so happy for those two! Oh, I wish I was getting married. That would be amazing!
SKULLB: Would you just shut up already?
{Cue credits.}