The SkullB Show/16

Overview

Episode 16: System Shocked

Season Finale

After a blow to the head, a part of Skullbuggy never seen before arises.

CAST: Skullbuggy, Fran, Jerry, Casey

PLACES: The SkullB House(Living Room), The SkullB House(Lawn), The SkullB House(Dark Room), Chez Snootee, Movie Theater

PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show?

Transcript

{Open: the Living Room. Fran and SkullB are sitting on the couch.}

SKULLB: So, Fran, nice of you to join me for... TV!

FRAN: I know! It's so nice having good neighbors!

SKULLB: Yeah... yeah!

FRAN: You know, I'd like to get to know you! What are your interests?

SKULLB: YOU.

{Pause.}

SKULLB: I mean, my interests are... um, are...

{Pause.}

SKULLB: ARE YOU SINGLE.

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: the Living Room, later. SkullB and Jerry are playing video games.}

GAME SYSTEM: Player one... wins!

SKULLB: Oh, WHAT? WHAT? I win!

JERRY: Yeah, don't rub it in.

SKULLB: I win, I win! Wah-hahahahaha!

{SkullB starts to dance around. He starts jumping on the couch.}

JERRY: SkullB, get down. You'll break something.

SKULLB: Sorry, I don't speak loooooser!

{SkullB jumps around laughing more, until suddenly he falls off the couch and hits his head on the coffee table.}

JERRY: Heh, told you. Well, I'm going. I've got things to do.

{Jerry leaves. Pan down to show SkullB on the ground, his eyes glowing red. He suddenly jerks up and a malicious grin crosses his face. His voice is noticably different--more evil.}

SKULLB: Heh... how long have I been waiting for this?

{SkullB starts to laugh.}

{Cut: Outside the SkullB House. Jerry, Casey and Fran are on the lawn, maxing and relaxing.}

FRAN: Aren't summer days just lovely?

CASEY: Yeah. Yeah.

JERRY: You know, SkullB's been out for a while.

CASEY: Out?

JERRY: Yeah, he knocked himself out after he hit his head. Dumbass.

FRAN: Oh, that's terrible! Will he be okay?

JERRY: He's a robot. He should be fine.

{Suddenly, SkullB kicks open the door and walks out onto the lawn.}

JERRY: Oh, you're awake. How you feeling?

SKULLB: Heh... better than ever!

JERRY: Huh. Maybe I should hit you in the head more often.

SKULLB: So, everyone... who wants...

{SkullB pulls out a pitcher of lemonade.}

SKULLB: Lemonade?

CASEY: Oh! Thank you!

{Everyone has a glass. Suddenly, they fall unconscious--save for SkullB.}

SKULLB: Heh... I knew you would like it!

{Cut: a pitch-black room. Suddenly, a pair of eyes opens.}

?????: Uh... where... where am I?

{Another pair of eyes opens.}

?????: Yeah, good question.

{Another pair opens.}

????: Oh, God... OH GOD! Somebody... somebody help! I'm claustrophobic!

?????: Shut up! If you yell more, you'll waste more air!

????: Oh, oh God... I'm gonna be sick!

?????: Well don't throw up on me! I just got this shirt cleaned...

{Suddenly, the lights switch on. The three--Fran, Jerry and Casey--are tied up to some chairs. Pan over to show SkullB at the door.}

SKULLB: Well, hello! I trust you all slept well?

JERRY: Skully, what's gotten into you?

SKULLB: Heh, nothing at all!

CASEY: You psycho! You drugged us and tied us up!

SKULLB: You should be happy I didn't kill you.

JERRY: You know, I'd like an explanation.

FRAN: Yeah! What's up with you?

SKULLB: All in due time, my fair ladies. And Jerry.

JERRY: So, you're... just going to leave us here?

SKULLB: Yeah, I... actually, you know what? I haven't really... planned anything. Yet.

JERRY: So, what? No... you know, torture, beatings? Deaths?

SKULLB: I'm not killing anyone, trust me. Now, I just came up with an idea. Come with me, Jerry.

JERRY: I... can't. I'm tied up.

SKULLB: Oh. Well... Fran! I will start... with YOU!

{SkullB shoots a laser from his eyes and burns off Fran's rope.}

FRAN: Oh... okay?

{Fran follows SkullB out of the room.}

CASEY: Figures. Starting with his crush.

JERRY: Cr-crush?

CASEY: What, you didn't notice? Really?

{Cut: Chez Snootez. SkullB and Fran are at a table. Fran is tied to her seat.}

FRAN: Um... what are we doing here?

SKULLB: Well, while I had you tied up, I thought, hey! Why not take you on a dinner date?

FRAN: But... why?

SKULLB: What, you don't think I wasn't waiting for the chance?

FRAN: Oh! That explains all those strange outbursts!

SKULLB: That's beside the point!

{The waiter comes to the table.}

WAITER: How may I help you?

SKULLB: We'd like some wine to start with. I'll have the Chablis, please!

FRAN: Uh, I don't drink. It's against my beliefs.

SKULLB: YOU WILL HAVE SOME DAMN WINE!

FRAN: Ahh! Okay, I'll have the... the... uh...

SKULLB: PICK A DAMN WINE!

FRAN: AAAAHHH! Cristal! I'll have the Cristal!

{Cut: the dark room. The lights are turned on to show both Casey and Jerry, tied up and emaciated. SkullB and Fran walk in. Fran looks visibly distressed.}

CASEY: Jeez, Franny! What happened?

FRAN: I was forced to... drink... WINE!

CASEY: Dammit, Skully! You know she's a teetotaller!

SKULLB: Well I didn't know until she brought it up. Like, fifty times.

JERRY: A dinner date? Really?

SKULLB: What? I had the opportunity!

CASEY: Well are you happy?

SKULLB: Yes. Yes I am.

CASEY: So, who's next?

SKULLB: Why, you are, darling.

CASEY: Well, I'd better brace for the worst.

{Cut: a theater. Casey and SkullB are the only ones in the room, and Casey is tied to the chair in front of SkullB.}

CASEY: So, what's this one?

SKULLB: I'm forcing you to see the movie "Leonard Part 6", critically panned by both critics and Bill Cosby himself!

CASEY: Really? That's it?

SKULLB: Watch... in horror!

{SkullB starts the movie.}

CASEY: Okay, some vegetarians are ordering animals to kill people... and... Bill Cosby is using magic meat... to fend off the vegetarians? Wow, this is torture. I mean, it's not hurting, but... wow, this is terrible.

{SkullB turns off the movie and gets up.}

SKULLB: You know, you could at least fake pain!

CASEY: Ouch. Are you happy?

SKULLB: GOD! I am out of here. Come on.

{SkullB walks away in disgust, Casey following behind him.}

{Cut: the dark room. SkullB and Casey walk back in.}

JERRY: Why... why did you just let him take you back here?

CASEY: I figured he deserves one more chance.

SKULLB: Your turn, Jerry!

JERRY: Mmph. Fine.

{Cut: the Living Room. SkullB and Jerry are walking through on their way outside.}

JERRY: So, what do you have in store for me?

SKULLB: Oh, I'm going to torture you. I'll-

JERRY: You know what? Forget it. You can't even do things right when you're evil! Just untie me.

SKULLB: No way! I'm not that--wait. By insinuating I'm stupid, you're thinking that, because of that, I'll keep you tied up. I know that's what you want, so here! I'll untie you!

{SkullB unties Jerry.}

JERRY: HAH! Knowing that you're susceptible to reverse psychology is a great weapon!

SKULLB: Damn.

JERRY: Now then, Skully, I've been wondering. What's gotten into you? You're more evil than usual.

SKULLB: Allow me to explain. I always was one for monologuing.

{SkullB clears his throat.}

SKULLB: When I was built by Skull Enterprises, I was originally designed to be a killbot. Programmed into me was a chip that determined my personality. Now, my creator didn't forsee the fact that I had a malfunctioning chip. Thus, I was sent out into the world, a "good" Skullbuggy.

JERRY: Then this means...

SKULLB: There are more than one Skullbuggy, yes. I am but one of several built. Anyhow, that blow to the head is what got my chip working again. And now you see my true self. Skullbuggy... killing machine.

JERRY: But that doesn't explain how terrible you are at torture.

SKULLB: I was built to kill, not torture. You happy now?

JERRY: Yep. One more question, though.

SKULLB: Ugh, what?

JERRY: How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?

SKULLB: A what?

{For maximum enjoyment, play this while reading the following paragraphs.}

{Jerry punches SkullB, knocking him over. SkullB gets up and punches Jerry back. Jerry starts to run outside, but SkullB readies a cannon in his mouth. As Jerry exits the house, the sound of a cannon charging is heard. Jerry closes the door, only to have it blown open by a skull-shaped beam. SkullB jumps through the hole made by the cannon and starts punching Jerry again. Jerry, mid-beating, grabs a lawn chair and hits SkullB with it. SkullB falls over as Jerry jumps on top of him, punching his head.}

JERRY: Snap! Out! Of! It!

SKULLB: Not... likely!

{SkullB prepares the Skull Cannon again as Jerry jumps off of SkullB. The beam fires, nearly hitting Jerry. Jerry runs back at SkullB and jumps, vaulting off of his head and sending SkullB into a wall. SkullB starts firing a round of shots, much like a machine gun. Jerry runs, dodging the bullets swiftly. Suddenly, SkullB runs out of bullets.}

SKULLB: Oh. Oh, shoot.

{As he says this, SkullB fails to notice Jerry running at him, brandishing a shovel. SkullB turns his head, and gets hit in the face with the shovel. SkullB falls over, and his eyes stop glowing red.}

JERRY: It's just been revoked.

{Cut: the Living Room. SkullB is lying on the couch, still unconscious. Jerry, Fran and Casey are there as well, surrounding him. Jerry, as a sidenote, is bruised and bloody.}

CASEY: You sure he's alright?

JERRY: {pants} Yeah, he should... be fine.

FRAN: You don't look very good yourself...

JERRY: Nah, I'm fine. Just a broken nose, should be fine.

{SkullB wakes up.}

SKULLB: Ugh... what... happened?

JERRY: Wait... you're saying you don't know what just happened?

SKULLB: Nope, I just remember beating you at video games.

JERRY: Well, you hit your head, went insane, kidnapped us and... "tortured" us, and I eventually beat you senseless in an awesome fight set to some ska. You also, as a sidenote, revealed your origins as a killbot made by Skull Enterprises.

{Pause.}

SKULLB: You... you done?

JERRY: Yep.

SKULLB: Oh. Well, that certainly must have been rousing.

CASEY: Of course, I was tied to a chair the whole time.

FRAN: It's too bad, too. It must have been really high-quality and stuff!

SKULLB: Huh. So, by torture...

CASEY: You forced me to watch a crappy movie, and you took Franny on a dinner date.

SKULLB: Woah, really? Awesome!

FRAN: Sure, for YOU! {huffs}

SKULLB: What's she so mad about?

JERRY: Regardless, we've had quite a day. I guess we should thank God we're alright.

CASEY: Yeah.

{Everyone starts to laugh.}

JERRY: Hahahaha! Yeah, but seriously, I'm losing a lot of blood.

{Jerry passes out.}

SKULLB: See you next season, everyone!

{Cue credits.}