The SkullB Show/13

Overview

Episode 13: Back to Basics

Now that the moving is done, the SkullB Show gets back on its good leg and gets funny again!

CAST: Jerry, Skullbuggy, Casey, a Waiter, Ginger, Lucas, Tom, too many others to list

PLACES: Living Room, Chez Snootez

PAGE TITLE: We're Funny Again!

Transcript

{Open: the Living Room. Jerry and SkullB are on the couch, watching TV.}

JERRY: Well, now that everything's back to normal, it doesn't seem too different.

SKULLB: Wow, we're just doing what we did back in the old crappy apartment!

JERRY: Except now everything we do costs more!

SKULLB: What a win-win situation!

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: the Living Room. Casey is on the couch, watching TV. Suddenly, SkullB wheels in.}

CASEY: Hey, Skully B. What it is?

SKULLB: You'll never guess!

CASEY: You're going to start a talk show?

SKULLB: ...

CASEY: See? I can guess things!

SKULLB: Well, I was going to do that, but since you ruined the plot already I'm just going to do something else.

CASEY: What, start a band?

SKULLB: ... You know, when you do that it really gets me.

CASEY: Alright, what are you really going to do?

SKULLB: I'm gonna make a video game!

CASEY: Cool. Tell me when you finish.

SKULLB: ... So you're not going to be involved at all with this story line?

CASEY: Nerp.

SKULLB: Never mind you, then. I'm off to make gaming history!

{SkullB wheels off in a huff.}

CASEY: Whew, dodged a bullet.

{Jerry walks in.}

CASEY: And what do YOU want?

JERRY: I was wondering... how long has it been since we've had a date proper?

CASEY: Years. Why?

JERRY: I was figuring... we should go out to dinner tonight!

CASEY: R... really?

JERRY: Don't act so surprised. I was planning on this since season 1.

CASEY: Alright, enough breaking the fourth wall.

JERRY: So, whenever you're ready, I have a reservation over at that nice restaurant we've been looking at!

CASEY: Olive Garden?

JERRY: I'm talking about Chez Snootez!

CASEY: Oh, that nice restaurant.

{The two leave the room. SkullB wheels in a few seconds later.}

SKULLB: So I decided to ditch the game-making B-plot, and I... guys?

{SkullB looks around.}

SKULLB: Hey, hey, HEY! Nobody's around! Looks like this means throwing a party!

{SkullB runs to the phone and starts beating on the number pad.}

{Cut: Chez Snootez. Jerry and Casey are sitting at a table. Both are finely-dressed.}

CASEY: So how did you scrounge up the money to pay for this all?

JERRY: Surprisingly, the show paid for it.

CASEY: Oh, really?

{Pan over to show an owl at the table beside them.}

OWL: Would you mind lowering your voices?

{Pause. Pan back to the couple's table.}

CASEY: ... Okay, I believe you.

{A waiter walks to the table.}

WAITER: 'Allo, welcome to the Chez Snootez. How may I help you today? May I start you off with some wine?

CASEY: I'll have the Cabernet, please.

JERRY: Do you have Mr. Pibb?

{Casey smacks Jerry.}

JERRY: -I mean a Cabernet. Please.

WAITER: Ah, fine choices, the both of you. I will be back with the wines.

{The waiter walks off.}

CASEY: Ah, doesn't that waiter just ooze sophistication?

JERRY: I dunno, it smells more like he oozes Aqua-Velva. Does that guy shower?

{Casey smacks Jerry again.}

JERRY: Ow-wow-wow-wow! How do you get away with this stuff?

CASEY: Being a woman justifies it.

JERRY: ... Oh, you're right.

{The two kiss. Pan over to the owl's table.}

OWL: God, get a room.

{Cut: the SkullB House. Many people are partying there. SkullB is standing there, mingling and drinking with some women.}

SKULLB: Nah, I'm single. I just live with my friend, is all--hey, Lucas! Nice to see you! Anyway, what kind of movies do you like?

WOMAN: Oh, I like scary movies!

SKULLB: Really? So do I, what a co-winky-dink!

WOMAN: Tee-hee, you're so funny!

SKULLB: Ooh, don't flatter me!

{Suddenly, the phone rings.}

SKULLB: Sorry, Ginger, I've gotta take this call.

{SkullB picks up the phone.}

SKULLB: Skully B.'s Chateu de Par-tay, Skully speaking!

CASEY: {on the phone} Skully?

SKULLB: Ah, are you... WOAH, woah, woah, woah! Just- just hold on a second!

CASEY: {on the phone} Skully, what's going on?

SKULLB: Uh, h-hey, Casey! Nothing's going on, just watching a little... uh, TV!

{Cut: Chez Snootez. Casey is on a phone.}

CASEY: Skully, do I hear people?

SKULLB: {on the phone} No, no, no, no! I said I was watching TV! Really!

GINGER: {on the phone} Oh, who are you talking to, honey?

CASEY: Who the heck is that?

SKULLB: {on the phone} Guh- buh- nobody. It was the TV.

CASEY: Skully, are you throwing a party?

SKULLB: {on the phone} Absolutely not. You have my word.

CASEY: Oh, oka-

SKULLB: {on the phone} I need to hang up. Right now.

CASEY: Eh-

{SkullB hangs up.}

{Cut: the SkullB House. SkullB is still at the party, looking shaken up.}

SKULLB: Hey, Gingey? You think they fell for it?

GINGER: Of course, sweetie!

SKULLB: Alright, then. Now, where were we?

GINGER: Let's go to the bedroom!

SKULLB: Oh, you naughty gal!

{The two wheel off. Over near the TV, Lucas is talking to Tom.}

LUCAS: I didn't know you were invited!

TOM: I wasn't--I'm just here for the free food.

{Cut: Chez Snootez. Casey and Jerry are still at their table. The waiter comes to the table, holding two bottles of wine.}

WAITER: Your wines, sir and madam?

JERRY: {with a fake French accent} Thank you, sir!

CASEY: Don't be a dork, Jerry. {to waiter} Thank you, good sir!

WAITER: Now, do you know what you will be ordering tonight?

CASEY: I'll have the frog's legs, sir.

JERRY: Hey, sir--what's this?

WAITER: The Ortolan bunting? It is a bird fed until it cannot move, then drowned in wine. This is cooked and served with a napkin over its face.

JERRY: ... You can't be serious.

WAITER: I am. Check Wikipedia.

JERRY: I'm going to be sick.

WAITER: We also serve cow brains.

JERRY: {scrambling to get up} I need to leave.

{Jerry runs off.}

CASEY: WUSS. {to waiter} Can I get a side with this?

WAITER: I recommend the duck liver pate.

CASEY: Ugh, no way! That's gross.

{Cut: the SkullB House. SkullB walks out of the bedroom with lipstick all over his face.}

SKULLB: That was intense. {faces camera} We were kissing. That's all.

{Lucas walks over to SkullB.}

LUCAS: You look like you're having a good time!

SKULLB: Yeah, I know! This is the best idea I've ever had!

LUCAS: Say, where are Jerry and Casey? If anything, they'd be here!

SKULLB: They're having a dinner date. They should be back by ten.

LUCAS: Heh, that's funny! It's like, eight-thirty right now.

SKULLB: Hah, that's funny! My clock is off... by an... hour...

LUCAS: Well, I'm outta here. Can't link this to myself, can I?

{Lucas runs off. On the way, he grabs a couple bottles of booze.}

SKULLB: Hey- HEY! I paid for that stuff! ... Crap.

{SkullB walks over to the stereo and shuts it off. Everyone turns to him.}

SKULLB: Hey, everyone? Time to leave. Sorry, my friend's coming back home, and I don't want him to... well, find out I... threw a party.

{Pause}

SKULLB: Boy, isn't there egg on my face?

{Everyone groans and starts to leave.}

SKULLB: What? WHAT?

GINGER: You kept a secret from me? Ugh! I thought you were better than that, Skully!

{Ginger slaps SkullB and walks off.}

SKULLB: Hey, call me! {to himself} She won't call me.

{Everyone but Tom is gone.}

SKULLB: So, Tom. You going to help me pick up or not?

TOM: Heck no! I'm outta here!

{Tom runs off.}

SKULLB: Cripes. How am I going to take care of this now?

{SkullB looks at the clock.}

SKULLB: OH CRAP I HAVE TEN MINUTES LEFT. ... Okay, this calls for desperate measures.

{Cut: ten minutes later. Jerry and Casey enter the house, which is sparkling clean.}

CASEY: Wow, he even cleaned up for us!

JERRY: Hunh. What a nice guy!

CASEY: Let's go to bed--it's been a long day for all of us.

{The two go to their bedroom. SkullB walks out of his bedroom and walks over to the window. He throws up all of the trash from before out the window.}

SKULLB: Ugh... I guess I'm lucky that I double as a vacuum. Eurgh.

{SkullB walks back to his bedroom. Before he enters, he turns to the camera.}

SKULLB: Are you happy? We did a well thought-out episode.

{SkullB enters his room.}

SKULLB: {from inside his room} You guys are jerks.