The SkullB Show/11c

Overview

COMMENTARY BY: Skullbuggy, Chwoka

Episode 11: Summer Vacation

CHWOKA: With guest stars: THE BEACH BOYS!

Skully and the gang go on a vacation. Tom is left to keep the homestead.

SKULLB: Wait, who?
CHWOKA: {enthusiastic} You know!
{short pause}
CHWOKA: Tom!

CAST: Jerry, Casey, SkullB, Tom, Zippy

SKULLB: Wait, who?
CHWOKA: Isn't Zippy a paperboy or something?

PLACES: The Food Court, SkullB's Apartment, Outside the Apartment, Inside the Van, Casey's Apartment, New York City, Black Screen of Continuity, Zippy's Studio

PAGE TITLE: Repeat After Me!

Transcript

{Open: the Food Court. Jerry and Casey are there, eating.}

CHWOKA: Truly, a tale that will outlast Hamlet.

JERRY: After a month-long hiatus, we're back.

CASEY: Yeah, and our returning episode was HORRIBLE.

SKULLB: What fourth wall? I've no idea what you mean.

JERRY: Well, I'm sure this episode will more than make up for that.

{Casey tosses a bowling ball at Jerry's head.

CHWOKA: We just found out the secret of The Bowling Ball Bandit!
SKULLB: Brain damage is so funnyyaayyryery

Jerry falls out of his seat.}

CASEY: We're already off to a good start!

SKULLB: Slapstick is always a good way to set the scene.

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment. SkullB, Jerry and Casey are on the couch.}

JERRY: Welp, it's the beginning of summer.

CASEY: Yep.

SKULLB: Sure is.

SKULLB: {imitating Hank Hill} Yep.

JERRY: So, what do we have planned this year?

SKULLB: The same as last year? By that,

CHWOKA: comma

I mean nothing?

SKULLB: {very forced} HA HA HA HA HA HA

JERRY: I'll tell you what we have planned!

CASEY: Well cut to the chase, man!

{Scooby Doo chase music starts playing.}

JERRY: Follow me...

{Cut: Outside the Apartment. Jerry is standing in front of a large van.}

SKULLB: A... van?

SKULLB: STRANGER DANGER

JERRY: That's right! This "Luuurve Van"

BARRY WHITE: awwwwwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeeeah
CHWOKA: What the-!? Who let him in here?
SKULLB: I don't- I didn't let him in-

will be our chariot on our summer road trip!

CASEY: A road trip? Awesome!

SKULLB: With a capital "X"!

SKULLB: Apparently I couldn't splel right eihter back then.

JERRY: So, yeah... non sequiturs

CHWOKA: Nor culd Jerry, either.

aside, let's get going!

CASEY: Waitwaitwait hold up. Who's going to be watching our house?

JERRY: Tom will.

SKULLB: Yeah! That guy I... I know. I knew.

{Pan over to show Tom standing right next to SkullB.}

TOM: Hey.

SKULLB: Gyaaaah! You could have given me a heart attack!

TOM: You're a machine! YOU HAVE NO HEART.

SKULLB: ... Ouch.

SKULLB: Heh, I was totally faking that. I don't even have feelings!

TOM: So yeah, whilst you all are gone,

SKULLB: Who talks like that? "Whilst"? Really?

I'll be a-guarding the homestead--

CHWOKA: —

just like you said!

JERRY: Ah, good old reliable Tom.

SKULLB: Okay, who the frig is he? No, really! Who is he?

{SkullB and Jerry get in the van.}

CHWOKA: The van is named Tom, too?

CASEY: So help me GOD if you touch any of my things while I'm gone, Tom. So HELP me GOD.

SKULLB: HEY! Don't antagonize the van. He didn't do anything to you.

{Casey gets in the van.}

TOM: Have a good time, everyone!

{The van speeds off. Tom scans the area, and runs inside.}

{Cut: the van. Casey is driving.}

CHWOKA: The Wife Also Drives.

JERRY: Casey, are you SURE you should be driving?

SKULLB: Women :rolleyes:

CASEY: Yeah, I'm positive! I have my license, you know!

JERRY: But you're also playing a Gameboy.

CHWOKA: Nah, it's okay, it's a racing game.

CASEY: And?

SKULLB: Jerry, I don't feel safe!

JERRY: There, there... it's gonna be okay.

{Suddenly, the van swerves.}

CASEY: Get out of the way, {censored for the weak-hearted}!

SKULLB: She said "jerk". No, really, this is back when there was a rule for this kind of thing.

JERRY: Maybe I should drive.

CASEY: Like hell you will!

CHWOKA: "Jerk" is censored, but "hell" isn't? The hell, SkullB?
SKULLB: Shut the hell up, you jerk!
CHWOKA: YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH
SKULLB: But I'm just talking about Shaft!
SASSY BACKGROUND SINGERS: Then we can dig it!
BARRY WHITE: awwwww yeeeeeah
CHWOKA: He didn't even sing that song!

{Cut: Casey's Apartment. Tom is inside.}

TOM: Yeeeees.

SKULLB: Oh dear Christ that is the creepiest thing I have heard today

{Tom grabs a book from on the table.}

TOM: Hm... what's this? A diary, perhaps?

{Tom opens it.}

TOM: Oh, it's just one of those sophisticated coffee-table art books that's just pornography. Oh well, still pretty sweet.

SKULLB: It was actually that one that Leonard Nimoy made. You know, the one with all the fat chicks.
CHWOKA: That's... that sounds disgusting.
SKULLB: It made her feel better about herself.
CHWOKA: ...Wait, how could he not tell it was a coffee table book from looking at its cover?

{Cut: the van. Jerry is now driving.}

SKULLB: So, Captain Stubing, where we headed?

SKULLB: A Love Boat reference? Friggin' really?

JERRY: Oh, just the greatest place ever...

CHWOKA: {impish glee} DISNEYLAND?!

SKULLB: The MOON? Oh, Jerry, you shouldn't have!

JERRY: And I didn't! We're headed to New York City!

SKULLB: Oh. You disappoint me.

CHWOKA: {imitating Jerry} New York City... on the MOON!

JERRY: Shut up. This is the first proper vacation we've had since we moved in with each other.

SKULLB: So you're calling that one time we went to the nice Burger King an improper vacation?

JERRY: ... How stupid did you get during the hiatus?

CHWOKA: Careful you don't swerve off the road right through where the fourth wall should be.

SKULLB: A little bit.

JERRY: So... not much to say right now. Being on the road.

CHWOKA: Asphalt: part of this complete breakfast.
SKULLB: tee-hee, you said "ass"

CASEY: Hey, who wants to play a game?

SKULLB: I'm game!

{Pause}

SKULLB: Oh my God that was completely by accident!

</blockquote>CHWOKA: SkullB, did you replace part of your motherboard with a brick or something?
SKULLB: Don't judge me! Method acting was "in" back then!</blockquote>

CASEY: Anyway, this is called "I Spy"! I spy, with my little eye... something blue!

SKULLB: Oh, oh! Is it me?

CASEY: Yeah! How'd you know?

JERRY: My GOD I'm going to hate this trip.

CHWOKA: Jump!

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment. Tom is sitting on the couch.}

TOM: Wow. I've got all of Jerry's place to myself.

CHWOKA: The script has real issues with ownership. First it's Casey's Apartment, then SkullB's Apartment, then Jerry's Place.

This'll be sweet.

{Tom walks over to Jerry's room and jumps on the bed.}

TOM: Wow. Plushy!

{Tom starts to fall asleep on the bed.

CHWOKA: ...without even halting his jumping.

Meanwhile, the stove starts to light up.

SKULLB: We got a real bad prop stove. We had the camera trained on it idly and it turned on by itself, so we just wrote it into the plot.

Foreshadowing?}

CHWOKA: Why are you asking me?

{Cut: the van. Casey and SkullB are asleep in the back.}

JERRY: Hey, guys! We're here!

SKULLB: Really?

CASEY: Really really?

SKULLB: This dialog makes me want to throw up.

JERRY: Yep! Welcome to our hotel!

{The trio stands before the Waldorf-Astoria hotel.}

JERRY: The luxurious Waldorf-Astoria hotel!

SKULLB: Weren't those the old guys from the Muppets?

CASEY: I heard it has a hotel inside the hotel!

SKULLB: Swanky! How'd you get the money to go here?

JERRY: Royalties from the show. Turns out working for the one good show on this channel

CHWOKA: Which channel?
SKULLB: NO IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO FOURTH WALL ANY MORE !!!!

pays a pretty penny.

CHWOKA: Ooh, did you use one of those "Souvenir Penny" machines?

SKULLB: Viva

CHWOKA: Viagra?

Las Vegas!

CHWOKA: Oh.

JERRY: ... You are aware of where we are, right?

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment.}

TOM: Good thing I remembered that the stove was on! I bet something horrible would have happened had I not. Now, I'm gonna make something to eat--I'm starving!

{Cut: an outside view of SkullB's Apartment. Suddenly, an explosion destroys the apartment.}

TOM: {cough} Why didn't I see that coming?

SKULLB: Because you're an idiot?

{Cut: Black Screen of Continuity. The following lines are shown in white text as they are said.}

ANNOUNCER: Will Skullbuggy and the gang have a {exasperated} goooouurd

CHWOKA: {gasp!} They'll have a gored time!?

time {normally} in New York City? Will Tom be able to cover up the destruction of the Skullbuggy household?

{Cut: Zippy's studio.}

ZIPPY: Will I eventually get tired of writing this cra--

CHWOKA: Crap, even?

{Cut: BSoC.}

ANNOUNCER: Tune in next time on the SkullB Show! Ehhhhhhh.