The Doll House/TDHEp1.

HOST: Hello and welcome to... THE DOLL HOUSE!!! This is your annnoying loud-mouthed host, JACK JACKSON!!!! In this show, we put 5 dolls, Thats right, dolls, into a house! They are all complete strangers and do not know each other at all! Now, lets begin! Here is our first house guest, Mr Hedgehog!

MR. HEDGEHOG: What it is? I'm Mr. Hedgehog, the half-doll relative of Sonic, and the oldest doll. I am the best character on the show. But in all seriousness, I'm just here to have some fun.

{The Sephiroth doll pushes past the host and Mr. Hedgehog.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: And I'm a Sephiroth Doll! I'm too awesome for an introduction.

{An explosion is seen next to Sephiroth Doll, and when it clears, you see the Ryan Doll.}

RYAN DOLL: I'm the Ryan doll, and I like magic hams.

{Badstar Doll falls from the sky and lands on Mr Hedgehog. Gets up.}

BADSTAR DOLL: {Gets up.} I'm the Badstar Doll!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Looks like Jack is out of his league!

JACK: {Sarcastic laughter.} Hahahahhahaha, you're so funny, now stop. And finally, last but not least... Scorpion Doll!

SCORPION DOLL: Hi, I'm the Scorpion Doll. And if you don't like me, I'LL RIP YOUR FRIGGIN' HEAD OFF! But seriously, I'm here to make some friends. Wait, is that Mr. Hedgehog doll? I HATE THAT MR. HEDGEHOG DOLL! HOW DID HE GET HERE?

JACK: Anyways... get in there! {Shoves the dolls in a cannon and launches them into the house.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: JACK SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuckkkkkss....... {Gets quieter as he flies.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: I'VE ALWAYS HATED PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiilllll... {Gets quieter as he flies.}

BADSTAR DOLL: WHEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........... {Also gets quieter as he flies.}

SCORPION DOLL: I REALLY HATE YOU MR. HEDGEHOOOOoooooooggg... {Gets quieter as he flies.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: HOOOOOOOOOOWWWWwwwwww loooooooonnnnnng haaaaavvvvveeeee weee beeeeeen faaaaaaaaaalllllliiiiiinnnnnggggg????......... {Gets quieter as he flies.}

BADSTAR DOLL: I DON'T KNOooooooo- {Crashes into the house.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: How did he do that if we were ahead of-{him and the Sephiroth Doll crash into the house.}

SCORPION DOLL: {crashes into the house}

BADSTAR DOLL: Wheres Ryan Do- {Ryan Doll crashes into him.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Whoa... This house is large... I CALL TOP FLOOR!

{Jack Jackson appears on the TV.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Ahh! IT'S CREEPYGUY!!

{Mr. Hedgehog notices a tape on the couch.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: What's this?

{Mr. Hedgehog pops the tape into the VCR. A mysterious sihlouetted figure appears.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: Better than Jack Jackson.

???: Greetings. I am the creator of this show. You were all chosen by random to compete for a priz3e that will remain hidden for now. Anyways, on to buisness:

You each have assigned rooms chosen by the board to make the series slightly more interesting. The first room: Master Bedroom. This belongs to the Badstar Doll. Please go take your things up there.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: What do I get?

???: The next room: The second largest room there, is assigned to both the Ryan and Sephiroth Dolls. Please go take your things there.

BADSTAR DOLL: Hey, I want a roomate too!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Cool. I'll get my stuff. {Leaves, and returns with a giant sack. He takes it to his room.} My computer's in here!

???: Lastly, Mr. Hedgehog and Scropion Doll will get to sleep on the first floor, in any areas they choose and find most comforting.

{OOC: The joke is that there's no doorways on the first floor, so they actually get the biggest room.}

BADSTAR DOLL: But I want a roomate...

SCORPION DOLL: What?!? Are you saying that I have to share a room with that stupid Hedgehog Doll?!?!

BADSTAR DOLL: You can stay in my room if you want.

???: There is no room-switching!

{The tape ends.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: Well, how's about this: We boycott the show until they get us a sixth guy we don't see that often but we know still lives with us...and Give me and Scorpion Doll different rooms.

{Sephiroth Doll comes back.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: I've got heavy stuff. What's happening?

BADSTAR DOLL: We're gonna boycott the sh- {A sword is pointed at Badstar's neck.} GAH!!! WHAT THE...!?

{Camera zooms out to reveal ?????? pointing a blood red sword at Badstar Doll's neck.}

??????: I'm afraid I can't let you do that...

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Hello. Nice to meet you.

SCORPION DOLL: Wow, I'm soooo scared! </sarcasm>

??????: My name is Connor... I am the creator's assistant.

SCORPION DOLL: Hi, Connor! That's a weird name for a guy who just pointed a sword at somebody...

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Anything in the fridge?

CONNOR: As long as I'm around, you shall not rebel... oh, and yes, I think theres some ham in the fridge.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Any Rootbeer?

CONNOR: Yeah.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Nice. {Walks to the fridge.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: Why are you here? The execs couldnt've caught hold this quickly! I mean, we're not even filming today!

{Sephiroth comes back in, and turns the tv on.}

TV: This Reality Show is sponsered by Buy'n'Large.
Buy N' Large (is your) superstore.
(We've got) All you need, and so much more.
Happiness is what we sell.
(That's why) Everyone loves BnL!

{OOC: Wall-E reference FTW.}

SCORPION DOLL: We're gonna get sued.

MR. HEDGEHOG: Seph, quit fooling around, we're being threatened by the people that hired us.

CONNOR: {Cell phone rings. Pulls it out.} Excuse me, message from the boss... {Opens phone.} Yes, sir?

SCORPION DOLL: Can I talk to him?

???: {Over the phone} Nevermind. Let them boycott. It would boost viewer ratings. But remember to keep the hidden cameras in place.

SCORPION DOLL: Let me talk to him! {attempts to take the phone away from Connor}

CONNOR: {Tries to pull phone away from Scorpion Doll.} Let go! Its mine!

SCORPION DOLL: NEVER! I wanna talk to him! {still trying to take phone}

{The phone breaks in half.}

CONNOR: {Points sword at Scorpion Doll.} You little...

SCORPION DOLL: I have a harpoon, and I'm not afraid to use it!

CONNOR: {Pulls back sword, ready to strike.}

SCORPION DOLL: {throws harpoon} GET OVER HERE!

CONNOR: {Actually slices harpoon in half.}

SCORPION DOLL: Hold on. {dissapears and reappears with another harpoon} I'll use this on you later.

CONNOR: I shall return soon... but for now, goodbye... {Vanishes into flames.}

SCORPION DOLL: Oh great. Now he steals my exit thing.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: You know, this was all in the fine print of the contract. Am I the only one who reads fine print? Jeez.

MR. HEDGEHOG: No it wasn't In fact, they gave you a Resteraunt play mat and wrote "CONTRACT" in crayon.

SCORPION DOLL: I knew it!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Nope, you're still wrong. You've been tricked. {Holds up the official contract with the signatures, and the Resteraunt Paper.} You signed the official one, and they switched it with the fake when you are not looking, so if you decide to sue, you'll automatically lose the case.

MR. HEDGEHOG: Is that paint on the contract?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Coffee stains. The Executives Love their coffee.

{Mr. Hedgehog licks the contract, and it melts.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: They gave you two fakes. You must be one big idiot.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: The Contract was made out of non-waterproof paper. But that was a copy of the original. The Original is with the executives. It's as real as a kick to the nuts. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, touche, Hypocrite. {Continues to watch TV.}

{Meanwhile...}

{??? is in his office. Connor appears in flames.}

CONNOR: You summoned me, master?

SCORPION DOLL: {who somehow appeared in the office} I'M STEALING YOUR MONEY! STAR WARS!

{Scorpion doll picks up a money sack only to be trapped in a metal cage.}

???: Nice try.

{Another Executive comes from the Shadows. It's Davros Doll.}

DAVROS DOLL: It really is foolish to mess with us, you know.

{OOC: In this, Davros isn't as villainy as in Wikihood. He's one of the Executives.}

RYAN DOLL: SPARTANS! TONIGHT, WE DINE IN KORIDAI!

DAVROS DOLL: Nice try, but Koridai was renamed "Raccoon City" 10 years ago. Not a good idea to go there now.

SCORPION DOLL: {teleports out of the cage with the money sack. Now, he's back at the house where everyone's supposed to be}

???: Get Ryan out of here!

CONNOR: {Teleports Ryan Doll back to the house.}

{Back at the house, everyone's arguing, except Sephiroth, who is watching TV.}

BADSTAR DOLL: Wait, what are we arguing about again?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: How we are forced to live here, with an audience of billions watching us live around the world. It's like Big Brother, but we're not complete racist idiots.

SCORPION DOLL: Are you sure we were forced to live here? Didn't we want to?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Well we did agree to this, but now we're in, we can't get out of the show. But, if we make it without killing each other, we're billionares!

SCORPION DOLL: What if just one person gets killed? Like... Mr. Hedgehog?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Then we get 750 Million.

SCORPION DOLL: I can live with 750 Million. {takes a knife from hammerspace} Now I just need to get my knife here, and- {is stopped by someone}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Keep in mind you'll be rich, and have a life sentence.

SCORPION DOLL: LET ME KILL THAT HEDGEHOG!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: No! You can kill him when we're rich!

SCORPION DOLL: When will we be rich?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: No idea.

BADSTAR DOLL: When season one ends.

MR. HEDGEHOG: Contract says we have to last 6 months here. That's more than a season. That's like, 3/

BADSTAR DOLL: ...GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! {Runs for the door.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Well, it can't be too bad. As this TV has every channel, and our fridge can materialize any food request.

BADSTAR DOLL: Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, lets try to make the best out of this!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: See, now want to watch TV?

{Cut to a red room. Badstar Doll is sitting there in a chair. The words, Badstar Doll, is written "Real World" style above him. There is an arrow pointing from the words to himself.}

BADSTAR DOLL: Seph Doll is a good guy, but he watches TV way too much. I mean, seriously, he's really lazy...

SCORPION DOLL: {running by} STAR WARS!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: {Offscreen.} Hey! We've only been here for 10 minutes!

{Cut to the same room, only Sephiroth is there.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Well, Scorpion Doll is a funny guy, but he's somewhat aggressive. And it's gonna be hard to stop him from killing Mr. Hedgehog.

SCORPION DOLL: {runs by again} STAR WARS!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: It's quite scary really.

SCORPION DOLL: {runs by once again} STAR WARS! I DARE YOU TO SUE US, GEORGE LUCAS!

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Oh it's gonna be a sleepless night indeed. BECAUSE MY FAVOURITE SHOW IS ON!!!!

{Cut to the same room again, but once again Badstar Doll is there.}

BADSTAR DOLL: So tonight, we're gonna go to a club. I hope nothing bad happens...

{Later...}

{All the dolls are in a line to get into the club.}

MR. HEDGEHOG: Well, I've got to get into the club. Bye!

{Mr. Hedgehog walks right through the door, and 3 large Bouncers then block the door.}

BOUNCER 1: NOBODY GETS IN WITHOUT MR H'S PERMISSION.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: I have passes. {Holds up passes.}

BOUNCER 2: ...{lighter voice} These...are all made out to the same person. Only one of you can get in even with all 3 of these.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Oh... Wait... I know you! You're the man who sings at the children hospitals!

BOUNCER 2: I didn't think anyone would notice under this bouncer thing! Well, that's only a part-time thing.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Oh please!

{Cut to Bouncer 2 in the Childrens hospital.}

BOUNCER 2: {Singing} And I think it’s gonna be a long long time!
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone!!!

{Cut back.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: You've been doing it for 8 years! My cousin knows you!

BOUNCER 2: Still, I really do this with my time.

BADSTAR DOLL: Please let us in... we're celebritys!

BOUNCER 2: Yeah right.

BADSTAR DOLL: Well, we didn't want to have to do this but you have brought this on yourself. Scoprion Doll, get him...

SCORPION DOLL: {throws harpoon} GET OVER HERE! {cut offscreen; you can hear Scorpion doll beating up the bouncer} GET OVER HERE! {you can hear Scorpion doll beating up the other bouncer} GET OVER HERE! {you can hear Scorpion doll beating up the last bouncer}

BADSTAR DOLL: Thanks, buddy!

BOUNCER 2: Ohh... Fine... you can come in. And while you're at it, tell the manager I quit. CHILDRENS HERE I COME!!! {Goes away.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Alright, let's go. {They proceed into the club.}

SCORPION DOLL: I've never been to any club. Can you tell me what it's like?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Dancing. I'll show you what it's like. Come on.

{Badstar Doll walks up to a bar counter.}

BADSTAR DOLL: I would like your wuss menu please.

{The bartender hands him a small menu}

SCORPION DOLL: ...Wuss menu?

BADSTAR DOLL: Yep. I used to have a drinking problem, so now I just drink non-acoholic stuff.

{Sephiroth is singing on the stage, with a Guitar in his hands.}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: {Singing} Go go!
Go Johnny go
Go
Go Johnny go
Go
Go Johnny go
Go
Go Johnny go
Go
Johnny B. Goode!!!

SCORPION DOLL: AHH! SOMEONE SHOOT ME!

BADSTAR DOLL: Nope. Usually, I would love to, but I would probably get arrested...

SCORPION DOLL: Ugh... This is going to be a long day.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: I'll shoot you! FOR MAKING FUN OF ME!!

SCORPION DOLL: Ok, as long as I won't hear that horrible singing anymore.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: My singing isn't horrible. I got 100 global awards for it. You just have no taste. Plus, I've seen your music collection.

SCORPION DOLL: What's wrong with Mortal Kombat music as a music collection?

SEPHIROTH DOLL: I've seen the hidden ones too. You have Spice Girls.

SCORPION DOLL: No, I don't. If I had it, which I don't, I'd kill myself.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Oh yes you do. You've even got Barbie Girl, and Avril Lavegine, or whatever she's called.

SCORPION DOLL: Umm... you have those.

SEPHIROTH DOLL: No I don't. I don't even have a music collection.

SCORPION DOLL: Oh, then it must be Mr. Hedgehog's collection.

BADSTAR DOLL: Uh... actually.... its my collection...

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Teehee.

BADSTAR DOLL: Oh, shut up. {Takes a sip of his water}

SEPHIROTH DOLL: Nah, I'm just joking. {Goes up to the counter.} Martini please. Shaken, not stirred.