The Complete History of Bluebry

NOBODY really knows where Bluebry came from. Some people say he fell out of a wine bottle one day and then ran away from his captor. Others say he's part of a witness protection program. Point is, one day he just blew into town. Blowing NachoMan. With an airsoft gun. From that moment on, everyone knew there was something special a-happening. Our town had been lawless for as long as it had been founded. Bluebry was the only one who could step up and protect us. Quickly, he ascended to the title of Sheriff and shot any law-breakers, even jaywalkers. Soon, our town was empty. However, thanks to the veritable resource landfill we had - gold, oil, silver, coal, you name it - it quickly filled right back up.

ONE DAY Communist Jim strolled into the town. He thought he was gonna be a big shot, take over the mining operations. He started forming up a posse - Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy - and roughin' up all who got in his way. Bluebry was hibernating when some bear awoke him and told him the bad news. The bear was deputy, before you start asking questions. So Bluebry loaded up 8 of his 64 shotguns with one bullet each and walked in to town. He shouted out to Jim. What he said was so legendary, so amazing, that all but Communist Jim and the Dirty Dozen (they called themselves that even though they were missing three) fainted right on the spot. However, this means that there was nobody who could remember it, and Bluebry and the bear refused to disclose it. So Bluebry challenged Jim to a duel, and he lined up, shotguns on his belt, and they lined up back to back. The Bear counted off the seven steps. Bluebry ripped the shotgun out of his holster silently, and on the count of 3, only one fourth of the steps, shot Jim right there on the spot. He dropped the shotgun, and took new ones up and managed to kill all of his posse before they even had the time to pull one trigger. Each of the shotguns are now held in the Smithsonian.

IT SEEMS that Bluebry disappeared just as fast as he appeared. One day he reinvented the airplane and just flew off. Where to? He said Australia, but he has not been found there, though search efforts are still ongoing. Some people say he formed an underwater utopia with mermaids. Others say he is still flying around today, having invented an infinite fuel source or perpetual motion device. Others say he gunned down Amelia Airheart and went through the dimensional rift she was supposed to. Others say he's wandering the world, doing to other towns what he did to ours. One thing's for sure, though - around these parts, he will not be forgotten.