The C-Bit Show/1

The gang does the first episode crappily.

CAST: {in order of appearance} Vid, Cryptogamer, Robot Ninja, Hammaker, Qwert, Chu, Spritel

Transcript

{open: Vid's house. Vid is playing Guitar hero 3 on expert on high speed}

VID: {desperately trying to keep up) -of a lifetime, lost in a thousand days, through the WHAT THE CRAP I LOST AGAIN?! {turns to the camera} Oh. Uh, why are you starin' at me? Don't you know this song is FREAKIN' HARD! Why I oughtta-

{cut: a bench. Cryptogamer is sitting on it.}

CRYPTOGAMER: Well, that scene cut saved us some trouble. And blood! Anycrap, welcome to the C-Bit Show Unotennial Extravamaganza! So, uh, what are we doing again?

{suddenly, a robot ninja comes out from nowhere.}

ROBOT NINJA: 101011111000!!! 101010101100000!!!!! {karate chops CryptoG to the moon.}

CRYPTOGAMER: {voice waning as he flies off} HOOOOOLLLLLYYYYY CRAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!

{cut:a purple screen}

VOICE: And now a word from our sponsors.

{A huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge burger appears onscreen.}

VOICE: Introducing the 100 Grand Cheeseburger.

{close-up on the burger}

VOICE: With it's hickory grilled hundred percent Angus beef, garden-fresh veggies, freshly mined gold, and a bunch of other ingredients, the 100 Grand will make you want more more more! {quickly and quietly} Only1,070.99atparticipatingretailers. {Normally} So come the heck down to Billy Burgers!

{Screen goes black}

VOICE: And now back to the C-Bit Show.

{cut:The Moon. Hammaker is standing in a crater. Cryptogamer lands next to it.}

CRYPTOGAMER: My God that robot is strong. Why'd I even put him on here? I- Oh hi Hammaker.

HAMMAKER: Oh hi C.G.. Ya got any chapstick? {gets all up in C.G.'s face} I'M STARVIN' YO!!!!

CRYPTOGAMER: And this is the part where I get out of here. {disappears}

{Qwert floats in, wearing an astronaut helmet.}

QWERT: I claim this giant rock in the name of BASA!

HAMMAKER: I WAS HERE FIRST!

QWERT: Gah! An Alienm'n! I'mma callin' for backup!

HAMMAKER: You phone Home? {Points with a glowing finger}

QWERT: Oh my crap he's got a laser finger! {pulls out a cell phone} Backup Backup we need Backup! They got a laser!

{cut:Bitland Aeronautics and Space Administration Headquarters. Chu is at the desk.}

CHU: What the-Lasers? Well, he's dead. Unless it's Hammaker. Then it'll get {shivers} unspeakable.

{cut:The ending screen for Looney Tunes. In Porky's place, Spritel is there.}

SPRITEL: {Frustrated Spritel noises}

{Cryptogamer appears and shoves Spritel away}

CRYPTOGAMER: That's all, peoples!