(even if you aren't vegan)
The Brotherhood/1
Overview
The Beginning of the Beginning of the End
Episode 1: Meet the Doctor
It's just a normal day in the Arctic stronghold of Dr. Brainfreeze.
CAST: {in order of appearance} Minion A145006, Countless Minions, Dr. Brainfreeze, Wolverines (not shown)
PLACES: Arctic Tundra, The Brainfreeze Complex (Offices), The Brainfreeze Complex (Brainfreeze's Office)
Transcript
{Open: a barren arctic wasteland. A man in a heavy anorak walks across the tundra, being beaten by the frosty winds. Eventually, he reaches a massive steel tower, and walks up to a large bolted door. He takes off a mitten and punches in a code on a keypad beside the door. The keypad retracts into the wall, revealing a hand scanner. The man in the anorak puts his bare hand on the scanner. After a few seconds, the scanner beeps and the bolted door flies open. The man in the anorak walks inside. The building, inside, seems like a normal office building. It is filled with men in similar anoraks, chatting beside water coolers and working in cubicles. As he walks, presumably to his own cubicle, a message starts playing on the intercom}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {recorded, transmitted through an intercom} Welcome, faithful minions, to the Brainfreeze complex! Today for lunch we have dehydrated breadallelograms of pizza, as well as a scrumptious strawberry tart--also dehydrated! Be sure to stop by Human Resources for your complimentary pen, and be sure to stop by Inhuman Resources for your complimentary laser etcher! Have a good day at the Brainfreeze complex... and stay chilly! {click}
{The man in the anorak finally reaches his cubicle and sits down. As he begins typing, the intercom begins to buzz.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {on the intercom} Minion A145006? I'd like to see you in my chambers...!
{The man in the anorak gulps almost silently as he shuts off his terminal and walks over to an elevator. He opens the doors and is suddenly sucked in and shot upwards. The tube pushes the man in the anorak all the way up and into a cold, steel room. The floor is covered in ice, and the man struggles to get up. He finally stabilizes himself and walks into a door at the end of the room. He is hit by a burst of cold wind.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {offscreen} Minion A145006? I'm so glad you've made it!
{The man in the anorak slowly walks in.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {offscreen} Come, have a seat! I hope it's not too chilly in here!
{The man in the anorak walks over to an icy seat and sits down upon it. Across from him, Dr. Brainfreeze sits behind a desk coated in ice. The man in the anorak looks around the room and notices that, indeed, everything is covered in ice.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {strangely cheery} Minion A145006... Don't you have a... a shorter name?
MINION: {worried} Uh... sometimes, sir, th-they call me Henry-
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Henry! Yes, yes, that's perfect. ... {somber} Now, Henry, do you know just why I've called you up here?
MINION: No, n-not exactly...
DR. BRAINFREEZE: First quarter work has been... disappointing, at best. In fact, I'm wondering just what it is you do all day- oh, wait! I do know what you've been doing!
{Dr. Brainfreeze holds up a picture of the minion checking his email.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: On a company terminal, of all things.
MINION: Dr., I can- I can explain, really!
DR. BRAINFREEZE: There is no need, Henry. I'm afraid, due to your subpar level of work... I must discharge you from my company.
MINION: ... N-no, no! I can't leave now, sir! I-
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Henry, Henry, Henry... {cheery} Don't you know what kind of opportunity this is?
MINION: I... I... what?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Why, ends are only new beginnings! That's what I always say, of course... and oh, the beginnings you will have! Why, your resume will look fantastic with Brainfreeze influences, recommendations... your family will benefit from your unemployment check, for sure... and the experience, oh the experience! As I say, nothing beats working in sub-zero temperature--makes the body stronger!
MINION: I- I guess, maybe...
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Now, when you go get your things, I want you to remember that I trained you well...
MINION: {with a burst of happiness} Yes, yes sir!
{The minion suddenly gains a happy demeanor and runs out of the room, slipping a bit on his way. Dr. Brainfreeze presses a button on his desk and a terminal rises from within the desk. It shows a feed from the security cameras. The security camera shows the minion from before grabbing his personal affects from his desk and skipping off.}
MINION: {on the screen} Guess what, guys? I'm leaving! I'm gonna start a new life! Hahahaha!
{The minion skips out of the office and into the tundra.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: ... {presses a button on his desk} Release the wolverines.
{Sounds of painful slaughter can be heard as Dr. Brainfreeze laughs maniacally.}
{Fade to black.}