The Bastard Goes to the Movies/Unfriended

Fuck this movie.

No, fuck this movie.

This movie is a prime example of how filmmakers gave our intelligence the middle finger. And I can finally say this until the end of time, this is, without a shadow of the doubt, the single WORST horror movie ever. And critics praised it because "filming on Skype is a new thing." This is the reason why I despise what critics say anymore. If Unfriended was groundbreaking, then how the fuck didn't it impress audiences? How did is it not scary, nor shocking?! Unfriended is fucking INSIPID! It's abysmal! It's the holocaust of horror movies. It is the reason why most horror movies nowadays, especially with found footage, are absolute trainwrecks!

And you know what, I will say this; this is the absolute WORST movie of 2015. EVER! BAR FUCKING NONE! Not to mention, it's one of the absolute worst movies of all time. As far as horror movies go, people claim that Hostel Part II, The Purge, The Human Centipede, the Saw sequels, A Serbian Film, the Paranormal Activity sequels, and even The Devil Inside are the absolute worst horror movies of this decade; but here's the thing. At least these movies are watchable, some of which are so bad they're good. Not to mention, there have been horror movies in general, like Manos: Hands of Fate, Birdemic, Jaws: The Revenge, The Exorcist II: The Heretic, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, and The Swarm that were considered the worst according to many people. But, at least they're laughably bad! Unfriended is lazy, dead, insulting, boring, detestable, and just heartbreaking. Worst horror movie ever! Fuck every fabric of this movie!

So this is a movie about the suicide of a teenage girl, Laura, which was "mistakenly" uploaded onto YouTube. This takes place on the computer, and most of it is silent. It just takes place in a Skype call. No other plot happens.

Of course, we immediately get into cheap jumpcuts, which people praise it for, and "OOH! JUMP SCARES." Remember, this is why we I hate Five Nights at Freddy's. I bring it up because the first two games are exactly like this. They're not scary, they're boring!

I couldn't even watch the rest of the movie. I was so pissed, I only watched only 50 minutes of it before shutting it off. Fuck this movie! The acting is shit. The writing is shit. The scares are shit. Everything is shit. Fuck this shit! Unfriended is shit!

JOIN ME IN MY NEXT REVIEW!

HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN!

UNFRIENDED IS OWNED BY UNIVERSAL STUDIOS.