The Bastard Goes to the Movies/Barney

{sigh} This is it. One of the worst movies I've ever seen. A film so bad that it should never, and I mean NEVER exist. A film that should be like Shaq Fu as far as movies where we burn the copy of it. This nightmare is called, Barney's Great Adventure!

Let me tell you right now, I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT PURPLE BUTTLOVIN' PEDOPHILIA DINOSAUR! He is by far the WORST thing to come across public television. Not only is this show obviously stupid, it teaches kids how to be pedophiles like Barney. And when i heard that there was a feature film based off of that pedodino, I was amazed and shocked that it was made and was distributed worldwide to theatres in 1998! Even as of today, I feel shocked that the movie still exists. Now to rip this pedophilia Hitler to shreds.

First, we begin were Barney and his gang are offscreen talking about the movie starting. If i was Hellsing920, I would have to say, "I WISH I was kidding."

Then, we cut to the scene where in a rainy day, the whole family, including the one girl's best friend, are on a road trip, with some stupid lines like, "Milking the chicken." {headdesk} Notice I didnt facepalm for reasons. 1. It's old news, 2. if I did a facepalm, I would be to nice to this film. and 3, we're over a minute in and I feel terror coming in. So the parents drop their kids off to the grandparents' farmyard. Then, the little girl shows us the Barney stuffed toy to the brother, Cody. Cody hates the menace, because he is normal and not insane. See that shit? AAAAUGH!!! And then, some retarded Benny Hill ripoff scene plays until we see a dinosaur... named Barney, yes, the purple dinosaur! Because they were imagining it. WHY?! I mean you see that? It's Barney! RUN AWAY!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! HE'S GONNA FUCK UP EVERYTHING AND PLAY WITH OUR DOLLS SILLY AND GO ON PEDOPHILIA ADVENTURES!!! RUUUUUUN!

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