Thatkidsam.muffin/Senior Citizen Squad Issue 1 (One)

Overview

Senior Citizen Squad Issue #1

The humble first issue of Senior Citizen Squad. Not safe for babies under 2.

Cast (in order of appearance): Crustyskin, Youngster, Georgia Hick, The Fattest One

Places: Old Folks' Home

Date: April 23, 2005

Transcript

NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: Senior Citizen Squad!! Crustyskin! {Crustyskin appears, the words "Sixteen boils!" appear next to him} Youngster! {40 years old!} Georgia Hick! {Pickup truck!} The Fattest One! {Magnitude 8.3!}

{All three are in the Old Folks' Home.}

GEORGIA HICK: What should we do today, hyuck!

YOUNGSTER: Let's go watch television!

CRUSTYSKIN: No.

THE FATTEST ONE: No.

GEORGIA HICK: No.

YOUNGSTER: I don't care! I'm going to watch! {Walks away}

THE FATTEST ONE: He's young... What are we going to do about him?

CRUSTYSKIN: Lecture him!

GEORGIA HICK: Okay, I have a great idea, hyuck!

THE FATTEST ONE: What?

GEORGIA HICK: Let's play a game! We show eachother our driver's liscenses and try to have people guess wether it's really them in the picture!

THE FATTEST ONE: What?

CRUSTYSKIN: Uh-oh, it's some hip people skateboarding!

THE FATTEST ONE: What?

NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: SKATEBOARDER STAMPEDE'D!

{The skateboarders run over The Fattest One.}

CRUSTYSKIN: Well, it's just you and me, whoever you are.

{A nurse comes in.}

NURSE: Pill time! If you haven't taken your pills by now, you'd be crazy!

CRUSTYSKIN: Hm... Did I take my pills?

{Georgia Hick's left eye swells like Bubs'.}

GEORGIA HICK: I DIDN'T TAKE MY PILLS!! YEE HAW! {Jumps out the window}

CRUSTYSKIN: Well, it's just me and my boils now. {Starts pushing them} Ooh, this one's bleeding.

NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS MONSTROSITY ANYMORE SO I'M KILLING HIM OFF SOMEHOW!

{The "eraser" tool from MS Paint appears and erases Crustyskin.}

NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: Meanwhile...

YOUNGSTER: I sure like being young and watching television.

GUY ON TV: Boo!

NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: SCARED STIFF!

YOUNGSTER: Gah! {Has a heart attack}

NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: This cartoon is done!! That means it's over!! To all the old people that don't understand, that means that this cartoon is finished! That means...

Fun Facts

• The "Driver's Liscense Guessing Game" is a reference to the NPR news quiz, "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me". In a question about old people, this was one of the wrong answers.