Stuntmail/Mission

Crack Stuntman gets a ransom note about a family member.

Characters in order of appearance: Crack Stuntman, A. Chimendez, Reinforcements' Voice, The Cheat, Crackotage's voice, Fightgar's voice, Silent Rip's voice, Guy Who Does the Bad Guy's Voice

Locations: Crack's house, The Office of A. Chimendez, The Basement of Crack's House, That back alley at that place

Transcript

CRACK STUNTMAN: Alright, let's see if this bad boy can actually check some emails.

{types Crackmail.EXE}

Subject: Muhahahaha

ATTENTION!
I HAVE STOLEN YOUR UH...UNCLE REMUS!
GET HIM IN THAT BACK ALLEY AT THAT PLACE!
BRING MONEY AND BLING WORKS TOO!
COME WITHIN 1 hour and 37 minutes,
ANONY

CRACK: {typing} Not MY UHUNCLE REMUS! What will Thanksgiving dinner be without Uhuncle Remus' antics? I'll have to go save him! First I'll need... You know what, I should probably stop typing this crap and do something about this.

{Crack get's up and leaves the room, Cut to The office of A. Chimendez}

CRACK: CHIMENDEZ! I need you to give me the numbers of the guys who do the voices of the Cheaty Commands

CHIMENDEZ: {sigh} For the last time, Mr. Stuntman, They are called the Cheat Commandos. Why do you need them anyways?

CRACK: I've got a dangerous mission and I need reinforcements!

{Reinforcements' voice walks in}

REINFORCEMENTS' VOICE: Hi guys.

CHIMENDEZ: Fine, I will give you the numbers, but only because if I don't you will keep me here all night, and I promised Beverly I'd be home early.

{cut to Crack's basement, Where the voices of Crackotage, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and Reinforcement's stand, along with Crack and The Cheat}

SILENT RIP'S VOICE: What are we doing here anyway?

FIGHTGAR'S VOICE: Yeah, we can't do jack! We're just a bunch of voice actors!

CRACKOTAGES VOICE: And most of us are really unfit anyway, You and Fightgar's voice are the only ones who are actually buff?

CRACK: Why aren't you rhyming?

CRACKOTAGE'S VOICE: {annoyed} You know that's only my character!

THE CHEAT: {Suggestion The Cheat noises}

CRACK: THAT'S PERFECT FIREBERT! Let's put that plan into action!

{cut to That back alley at that place}

???: I'm glad you could make it Mr. Stuntman...

CRACK: I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS YOU, GUY WHO DOES THE BAD GUY'S VOICE! Now, give me back my Uhuncle Remus.

GUY WHO DOES THE BAD GUY'S VOICE: DO you have the money and/or bling?

CRACK: No, but I do have the voices of an elite fighting force... ATTACK!

{the voice actors lunge at the Guy Who Does The Bad Guy's Voice}

GUY WHO DOES THE BAD GUYS VOICE: ACK! I give, I give. You can have your Uhuncle back!

CRACK: That's what I thought. CHEAT COMMANDVOICES...

ALL: ROCK ROCK ON!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: {singing} Buy all our play sets and toys!

{Stuntpaper}

Fun Facts

• This email comes from the emails 4 you! article on the Fanstuff wiki
• Crack calling the Cheat Commandos "Cheaty Commands" is a reference to him mispronouncing the name of the show