Strangetown/1

SUMMARY: Lexington Strange is one cool-ass motherfucker.

Transcript

{THE 1900s, SOME RANDOM YEAR. Prof. Lexington Strange is walking down the street, all jive and stuff, eating fried chicken. A man approaches him on the street.}

ALCHEMIST: Hey little bo- oh wait you're old. Whatever, do you want to buy MAGIC?

STRANGE: Yo gate, I'll buy all that smooth magic jazz, ya hear?

ALCHEMIST: Why the hell are you talking like that? Anyways, just give me all your belongings.

{Instantly, Strange begins to strip down, until the Alchemist tells him to stop and just give him possession. So, he gives him the fried chicken.}

ALCHEMIST: Here's your magic.

{WHITE SMOKE. ALCHEMIST VANISHES.}

STRANGE: I don't feel no different.

{20 YEARS LATER, STRANGE STILL LOOKS YOUNG.}

STRANGE: Woah, that white cracker turned me immortal, black don't crack.

{PRESENT DAAAY}

STRANGE: I'm a bitter old hep cat.

{Two agents barge into Strange's house.}

AGENT 1: Hello, Eustace Baldings, OR SHOULD WE SAY PROF. LEXINGTON STRANGE!

STRANGE: OH SHIT, IT'S THE G-MAN. I AIN'T GOIN' DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT.

AGENT 2: Relax, Strange. We're not here to perform experiments on you, we already have a vampire for that. We need your help.

STRANGE: I'm hep, I'm listenin'.

AGENT 1: We need you to form a team to investigate Strangetown. Just because the plot demands it.

THE PLOT DEMANDS ITTT

STRANGE: I'm game, I'm game, what's in it for me, gates?

AGENT 2: We don't arrest you.

STRANGE: Aight, aight. I shall call it...SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN WHORES

AGENT 2: No.

STRANGE: You' messing with my mojo, k, I call it...A MONKEY'S UNCLE

AGENT 1: No.

STRANGE: Uh... THE JIVE SQUAD, is that good enough for you, hepsters?

AGENT: It'll work. We'll be going now.

{SMOKE BOMB, THEY VANISH.}

STRANGE: Now to assemble a team, yo'.

FIN.