Sprite Comics Are Terrible/3

Okay, I've been putting this one off for a long time, partly because I've been really busy with school work and other projects like Jaro Emails and crap like that. But really, I have a lot to say about this comic. I mean, this is by no means the worst comic ever, there are plenty worse. But the comic is just a consistent bombardment of bad writing, bad storylines, bad effects, bad characters, with a few nice sections that just make it barely passbale, and I mean BARELY. Before we begin, we gotta adress the banner.

Now, upon first seeing this, I had to say "Maybe this comic won't be so bad." I mean, the graphics are not that bad, the logo is simple. That Sonic recolor isn't too great, but at least he changed a few things. But the first sign of how bad this is going to get is in the bottom right corner. You can see the main character at the bottom of a pit or whatever, "blood" everywhere. Note to aspiring comic makers: STAY AWAY FROM THE SPRAY PAINT. I mean, I know how tempting it is to use it, but just don't. It makes everything look like crap, like someone just took a bloody dump all over the banner. Now, let's see what we have right bellow the banner. Oh, boy! Look at all these options! We got affiliates, which are just advertisements for his friends comic. We got some crappy youtube videos, and I'll get into those when we review actual comics. We have credits, Character Bios, Fanmade Comics (that is hilarious). A dedication page? "May you rest in peace"? .... Yeeeeeeah okay. We have Art Made by the Author (Mostly very crappy), and no i didn't add that last part, he wrote that himself. Never openly tell people your art sucks, or you'll look like a whiner who wants attention. Last we have the Chatroom. Okay. WHY DOES THIS COMIC NEED A CHATROOM. I mean, I know you were browsing POPULAR COMICS like Bob and George and saw their chatroom and thought "Woah, that's cool!" But face the facts; You don't need a chatroom, you're not popular enought to have a chatroom. I mean, there are tons of IRC channels you could use that are more public instead of the two people who are in that channel. Okay! I've delayed the inevitable long enough! Let's begin the actual review...

Okay, so this is like.. THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT LOGO! HE DIDN'T EVEN TRY! I mean, I guess it's cool that he did the transparency right, but that logo just kills everything! Look at it! It's an abomination! The first two letters are fine, and then it just starts to trail off! And, if the red spray paint in the logo is blood, does that mean that the logo is splattered blood? I mean... I guess that would explain the crapiness, but WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS BLOOD??

And, here's my second complaint. Two covers.. YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH? The last one said "Volume 1" and I said "Okay, that's fine", but now we have chapters?! I bet the next comic is going to be Chapter 1: Story 1, and then it's going to say "You might as well blow your brains out now because this is as good as it gets." Luckily, I think this is the last of the cover art comics for now, so let's get into the actual comic!

.....

Is this a comic? Does this remind you of a comic? Does this in any way, shape or FORM REMIND YOU OF A FLIPPIN' COMIC??! THIS IS JUST RED TEXT ON A BLACK BACKGROUND, I MEAN, WHY JUST TEXT?! Why couldn't you have shown any of this? Like, build up to all the action with some suspense! Show us what it was like living in Sonic's shadow! I mean, even one comic just showing his pain or whatever would have been fine! No! Screw that! We need to get to the ACTION! BLOOD! LENS FLARES! YEAH COOL! What the hell? God.. And I bet you're sitting there saying "Well, it's only one comic . Surely you can't base the entire thing off of one comic, right?" Oh, but you haven't seen anything yet. I spent an hour and a half reading this garbage, and I am going to make you feel my pain.

Oh, come on! Have you ever heard of SUSPENSE? Why does he sell his soul so easily? Why not have him think "Maybe I shouldn't do this..", NO! SCREW DEVELOPMENT! SCREW EVERYTHING! I mean, I don't even know what's going on in this comic! Who's Nazo? Where are we? WHAT THE HELL AM I READING.

WHO IS THIS GUY? WHY DOES HE LIVE IN A VOLCANO? WHY DOES HE WANT TO KILL EGGMAN? GIVE ME SOME REASONS?

I like how an entire band consists of A DRUMMER. And what does the second panel have to do with anything? And what is with this montage? Why do you skip over everything just to get into the "action"? The last panel is like the run on sentence from hell!

Oh god, this is... THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! LIKE, SOMEONE GET A F*CKIN MEATHOOK SO I CAN DIG MY EYES OUT. GOD DAMN IT. LOOK AT SONIC. HE LOOKS STONED OUT OF HIS MIND. god damn it someone kill me

YOU STOLE THE POEM FROM HOLES?????????? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLES?S?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?1?!??!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU COULDN'T GET ANYTHING BETTER THAN THAT? WERE YOU JUST COMING OFF A WICKED HOLES VIBE AND HAD TO VENT SOMEHOW??! WHAT IS THIS?

"SHADOW CLONE TURN OFF SWITCH"? YOU COULDN'T THINK OF A BETTER NAME THAN THAT?? AND WHY DO WE NEED THESE HEROES? I THOUGHT SHADOW CLONES WERE THE REAL PROBLEM. BUT OF COURSE I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT THE REAL PROBLEM IS BECAUSE NOTHING IS CLEAR AND THIS STORY IS SO BORING I CAN'T CONCENTRATE.

When is this guy going to get the phrases right? "BE MARRIED"? YOU MEAN "BE MERRY"? I MEAN, AT LEAST DO A LITTLE SEARCHING TO MAKE SURE THE QUOTE IS RIGHT, I MEAN YOU JUST LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

Oh yeah guys, MAJOR PLOT POINT: Our hero and Blaze the cat are IN LOVE. I mean, just looking at this you can see that the guy who wrote this is in like 6th grade. He's never held hands with a girl before. This is just complete crap, I don't know how much more of this comic I can take.

These action scenes are just atrocious, because there's no text or anything to add any depth. I mean, I bet he's making these comics with some dramatic orchestra music in mind, but that doesn't translate onto the reader! We don't hear what you hear while making it, unless you transfer in some indication that we're supposed to! All I get from this is "Stuff shoots around, explosions". I mean, for a villain that seems to be the biggest baddie in the universe, he's pretty damn easy to kill!

I've gotta say, one of the few things I actually like about this comic (I mean don't get me wrong, it's a piece of garbage, but if it didn't have any good points I wouldn't waste my time reviewing it) is the logo. I mean, yeah it wasn't so great in the older comics, but it actually became more official with just the abbreviation and some little symbol, usually with the characters in it, and it changes to fit the current plot. I... like it?

Okay, there is one thing this guy definitely needs: A SPELLCHECK. But honestly, I don't think it would help! I mean, immoral and immortal are two very different words, and how fast are you typing to not notice an error like this? And don't you like, read over the comic a few times to make sure you didn't leave anything out (because believe me, I've ruined a few comics by not looking them over and catching my mistakes). And.. "Supa Blast"? Really? Did you call your five year old cousin over to ask him for a name for your "AMAZINGLY POWERFUL WEAPON OF DESTRUCTION"? SUPA BLAST?

I'd like to sum up the plot for you guys but the problem is I CAN'T. It's so convoluted and so many storylines take place at once that it's impossible to keep track of anything. Look at all that text! Do you really expect anyone to read that, especially if it's their first time reading the comic and they're just going through the archives? NOBODY HAS THE PATIENCE. Let's skip ahead to some more recent comics. Maybe the author has gotten better with time.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHEHASNTCHANGEDATALL. SAME TERRIBLE TEXT, SAME BAD SPRITES, NOTHING'S CHANGED. THE ONLY THING THAT'S CHANGED IS THAT THERE'S MORE UNNECESSAERY EXPLAINATION TEXT TELLING ME ABOUT CRAP THAT SHOULD BE IN THE ACTUAL COMIC AND NOT IN A LITTLE BOX!

THAT'S IT, I'M DONE. THIS REVIEW IS OVER. THIS COMIC IS JUST A JUMBLED MESS OF BAD STORYTELLING AND BAD ART ON TOP OF A DARK STORYLINE AND A COMEDY AND IT CAN'T DECIDE WHAT IT WANTS TO BE. COMICS ARE RUINED. I'M DONE, HAVE A NICE F*CKING DAY.