Skully B. Hates You/1

Summary

Some kid wrote a story and Skully B. delivers the justice in a cold unmarked bottle.

Transcript

{open to Bling's living room. Everyone but Bell and Sarah are there.

SKULLB: Two's a company, three billion's a crowd!

They walk in. Bell and Sarah are wearing clothes that images of will be uploaded soon}

SKULLB: God forbid you describe it to us.

MATURE BLING: Hey, guys. What's with the clothes?

IM A BELL: We decided to get a change of style. The golden Gi wasn't cool anymore.

SKULLB: It was never cool.

SARAH: Don't you like them?

MATURE BLING: I do, but, why is Bell wearing the tux he wore at your wedding?

SKULLB: "This is actually the only thing I have in my wardrobe. You know, besides the cosplay suits."

TRACY: I honestly don't care. But, Sarah, you DO look hot in that.

SKULLB: Records of Bell: Oedipus-Tested, Mom-Approved

IM A BELL: She's your stepmom. That was disturbing.

SKULLB: Disjointed sentence. Two thoughts.

TRACY: Screw off.

SARAH: Gladly. {her and Bell exit the house}

SKULLB: Oh-ho, those wacky people having sex!

TRACY: ...They went into their house, didn't they?

SKULLB: Where they live? No, that can't be right.

DON SKULL: You-You don't think they took you SERIOUSLY, did they?

TRACY: You're saying they DIDN'T?

MATURE BLING: ...Oh, I JUST realized why they have a separate house!

SKULLB: Why, because they don't want their bastard son and his stupid cat living in the house any more?

{pause five seconds. Doctor Octopus flies in, slightly charred and with an eyepatch}

DOC OCK: DOCTOR OCTOG-

TRACY: GET OUT!

DOC OCK: Okay... {flies out}

SKULLB: What was that for? He just wanted to chill.

{cue opening theme. cut back to Bling's living room, a while later}

IM A BELL:{yelling at Tracy} You WHAT?!!!

SKULLB: "THERE IS WAX ALL OVER MY LELOUCH OUTFIT GODDAMNIT I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET IT NEAR MY HARUHI LOVE SHRINE YOU KNOW THOSE CANDLES ARE DRIPPY"

TRACY: Sorry, I didn't know the basement door was supposed to be locked!

SKULLB: God forbid we let a little light into the creator's room. OHHHHH

IM A BELL: Well, it's too late now, He's already loose.

MATURE BLING: What are you talking about?

IM A BELL:{sighs} Look. I used to have a werewolf-like form called Feral Bell. As his name suggests, he is very wild and dangerous. I learned how dangerous he CAN be when I was vacationing in the Wikian Galaxy a couple decades back. So, I forced this form in the basement of our old house. I had just migrated him to this house's basement, and now Bling tells me he let him out.

SKULLB: Ha ha ha, silly Bell. That's puberty and it's very normal for a growing little boy.

MATURE BLING: I was curious about what was in the basement! I never looked in there!

SKULLB: I'd venture a guess that's where Bell kept his Japanimation.

SARAH: Wait, if he's so wild and dangerous, why didn't you refuse with him when we got married?

SKULLB: Because that would be retarded.

IM A BELL: I didn't think of it.

DON SKULL: Shut up shut up SHUT UP!!!! I'VE HAD IT WITH ALL THE GODDAMN INNUENDOS!

SKULLB: That was... that was absolutely not an innuendo.

IM A BELL: ... {head turns into an angry emoticon} stfu n00b! {kicks DS}

SKULLB: MY DS YOU BROKE IT NOW HOW WILL I PLAY SPECTROBES YOU DICK

DON SKULL: Ow.

IM A BELL:{head transforms back to normal} Now, let's go track down Feral Bell. {pulls out a shotgun}

SKULLB: You wouldn't believe where he wedged that thing.

SARAH: YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM?!!

IM A BELL: They're just tranqs.

SKULLB: This is a family show, mind you. No killing here.

SARAH: Oh. Good.

IM A BELL:{southern accent} Now let's go bag us a werewolf!

SKULLB: Man, Southerners say that all the time!

TRACY:{southern accent} YEE-HAW!

{cue montage of Bell and co looking through Tokyo for Feral Bell. cut to a random street there}

SKULLB: So you don't have every street name memorized? I thought you knew this from all that anime, Bell. You should be ashamed.

IM A BELL: This is stupid. Let's think logically. Feral Bell is as perverted as he is dangerous. So, where would a perverted werewolf go?

SKULLB: A dog kennel. Those bitches in heat, mang.

TRACY: Female-only bathhouses?

IM A BELL: That seems logical. What's the closest female-only bathhouse to our houses?

TRACY: I'll take you there.

{cut to a bathhouse. Many nude women are hiding in a corner, scared. They're censored by steam, of course. Feral Bell is taking pictures of them. Bell and co walk in}

SKULLB: RGGH I HATE THIS SO MUCH I HATE YOU BELL MOLTEN JINJO RAAAAAAGE

IM A BELL: FOUND YOU!

FERAL BELL: GRRR! {throws camera, runs out}

TRACY:{catches camera} Hehehe.

SKULLB: "If I weren't tremendously gay I would love this."

IM A BELL: OH NO YOU DON'T! {runs after FB}

SKULLB: FB? Football?

SARAH: Hmm... I think I'll stay in this sauna for a little bit. {starts to take off clothes}

SKULLB: {slowly weeps}

{cut to an alley. The audience is heard complaining.

SKULLB: Alright, I can finally relate to this! I mean, not like people can't relate to pervert thirteen year-olds, right?

Feral Bell runs in, with Bell right behind. Bell jumps up, bounces into the air off of FB's head, pulls out shotgun, and shoots a tranquilizer dart into FB's neck}

FERAL BELL: AAaaarghhh... {collapses}

IM A BELL:{lands, grabs FB, walks off}

{cut back to the bathhouse. Sarah has just put her clothes back on.

SKULLB: STRETCH MARKS OH CHRIST THE STRETCH MARKS

The guys jaws are dropped. Tracy is taking pictures.

SKULLB: Records of Bell: Got MILF?

Bell walks back in carrying FB}

IM A BELL: Done. Let's end this stupid episode.

EVERYONE ELSE: Agreed.

SKULLB: Three billion people can't be wrong!

{cue credits}

SKULLB: Oh, this is... this is just unbelieveable. I can't fathom how Bell thought this was good writing. One does not garner respect by having tons of naked women. That is not good writing! And neither is that ending! "Let's end it now! Resolution? What's that?" Oh, it just makes me sick! Tell you what, Bell. I'm giving you a challenge. Write one episode that doesn't involve anything from an anime, or any sex, or innuendos, or anything. Have a normal episode about them, like, going to a theme park where there are, like ghosts. Not Japanese ghosts. Just ghosts. Do something normal for once, man! Man.
{SkullB gets up and leaves.}
SKULLB: I'm out!