Skullbuggy's Completely and Totally Honest Video Game Reviews (Among Other Things)/vg1

Overview

Video Game Review #1: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Skully B. reviews SSBB!

Transcript

Hey, all! I'm Skullbuggy, and this is the first installment of--

SKULLBUGGY'S COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY HONEST VIDEO GAME REVIEWS (AMONG OTHER THINGS)

The one show where you know the reviewer isn't some prissy Nintendo fan-babby or a die-hard XBox douchebag. Today, I'll be reviewing Super Smash Brothers Brawl, a game for the Nintendo Wii.

As one of the few games for the Wii that isn't a gimmick "tilt-n-roll" game or console port, it's one of the most successful and popular games around. Before its debut, it was heavily skepticized, and when the Dojo came out people flipped. The internet was all over this game, and they almost instantly raved on how good it was going to be. You know, despite the fact that it hadn't come out yet and wasn't going to for about a year. Regardless, Nintendo fans wet themselves in excitement as the release date came closer.

Then it was delayed.

The Nintendo fans were outraged. If they weren't so fat that they were stuck in their chairs, they would have rioted. But after about two days, they went back to normal. Oh, Nintendo fans! But I digress. The Nintendo fans were almost all set--I say almost because their game was missing one thing. What was that, you ask?

The cool blue guy himself, Sonic the Hedgehog! I mean, how else would furries get their kicks playing this--playing as Fox? Nobody likes Fox. I, myself, was a bit against Sonic in my Brawl. Why don't you play Sonic the Fighters if you want to play as Sonic? But that's just me being bitter that fans had their way.

Enough of me talking about the game, let's start ripping it apart like wrapping paper on Christmas day.

The very first thing I'd like to talk about is the graphics. In a world obsessed with how pretty your games look, I'd take it this is a big factor. But here's the thing... the graphics aren't all that great. To me, it's like somebody took some gloss and slathered the cast of Melee with it. Sure, it looks pretty, but it's the same damn thing. Plus, when I'm playing on giant stages, I can barely see the characters. The special effects can be neat-looking at times, but after the first fifty times it gets a bit boring. And trust me, I've played it fifty times. While the graphics, I will admit, are nothing special, it's easy on the eyes. I'll give it that.

Gameplay is my next point. If you're new to Brawl, it's easy enough to get going. However, if you've played it forever, you'll be so good that nobody will want to play with you. That is how polarizing this game is. Plus, the characters are completely imbalanced--anybody using Ike, Toon Link, or one of the "high-tier" characters can easily beat anybody else. And seeing as everybody uses Toon Link or Ike, I find it frustrating that every damn time I go on Wi-Fi I get my ass handed to me by one of those cheapos. In summary, if you're new to this it's fun. But don't go challenging "veterans"--they'll mess you up and it'll be no fun at all.

The adventure mode--titled "The Subspace Emissary" for absolutely no reason--is one of the biggest selling points Brawl has. After playing through the whole thing, I think they should have just settled with a Melee-type adventure mode. Subspace is, after the first few levels, boring and repetetive. It doesn't help that the story is absolutely incomprehendable without reading some Japanese fan site. The bosses are pretty much the same thing--dodge attack, attack back--and the enemies are all cannon fodder. The one remarkable thing was the final boss, and even he was a pushover.

The music, quite honestly, is my favorite part of this game. Nintendo songs old and new return to spice up your "Brawling" experience--from the dulcet tones of Joy Mech Fight! to the exhilarating Sonic Boom!, the music will keep you excited. The problem is, all tracks are restricted to one stage--what could have been cool is to customize which tracks appear on what stages. Ehh, it's been a year, what can I change?

All in all, Brawl lands a solid "alright". It's not "the best game evar" by any stretch of the imagination, nor is it the worst. The biggest gripe I had is that this game brought almost nothing to the table--it's like Brawl came to the Wii's Thanksgiving party and brought the coleslaw, and who the hell eats the coleslaw?

I don't. But I like this game.