(even if you aren't vegan)


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{The first scene shown outright is Garfield (aka Noxigar Gen 2) playing some pinball while in a black knight's costume.}

GARFIELD: {singing} I've got the power, I've got the might. Get ready for Battel, I'm the Black Knight!

{Garfield checks his sketchbook and begins drawing architecture on it.}

GARFIELD: I think the Sephiroth Scholarship should allow me to-

{Garfield checks his surroundings while drawing.}

GARFIELD: Right, remember what Lex and Keith told me. Talking to myself, no matter how realistic it may be, is gosh-darned weird in public.

{Garfield draws two druids standing on a rooftop, one being a tall mentor and the other being a student/surrogate daughter. The scene warms his heart a bit, before it plays out as reality before his eyes.}

STUDENT: So this is what our 12 hours earns us?

TEACHER: It is fine, my pupil. Perhaps we needed to eat more teleportation spells.

STUDENT: What if magic is not as prevalent here as it is back in our former world?

TEACHER: Then our exodus may be two people entering a Quadruple Parallel Universe, but only one returns. I'd rather it be you.

STUDENT: {blinks} Master Thragg...

THRAGG: Grand Dad Tito Nozzom bestowed upon me this little adage that I now gift to you: Make the most of your life, and eat as many things as you can to grow strong. I believe in you.

{The student hugs Thragg, who reciprocates.}

THRAGG: I already know Osterneth is not here to ruin this moment.

{The student cries while hugging Thragg.}

STUDENT: I promise I'll eat a whole Paladin god and use my new powers absorbed from him to bless you, so you no longer suffer.

THRAGG: My child, it's okay. I accepted my fate long ago.

{Thragg pats his student on the back.}

GARFIELD: ...Grand. Dad.

{Garfield eyes his sketchbook. True to form, the images before him look identical to those that he drew.}

GARFIELD: ...Fleenstones?

{Short pause.}


{His nasaly noise draws the attention of both Thragg and his student.}


THRAGG: Excuse me, but what exactly are you on about? I knew people back in our realm were batshit insane, but I did not expect the same of this world.


THRAGG: That is what my former Master was, yes. My grandfather.

{Garfield blinks.}

GARFIELD: Oh. My apologies. I'm Noxigar Bellinski. And you must be...?

THRAGG: Thragg Nozzom, Grand Son of Tito Nozzom.

STUDENT: Zutara Bad Moon, Eldritch Druid and Adept of the Icy Reach of Ustazar.

GARFIELD: For some reason, that sounds familiar to me...

{Garfield checks his sketches, looking for a clue.}

THRAGG: I suppose you must be an amateur wizard, or maybe a Mage Assassin?

GARFIELD: I haven't been much of an Assassin after finishing the riffs of not only bad mixtapes, but bad... story tapes, I guess.

ZUTARA: Uh... huh. I'm a little worried, if only because while I was an Assassin-in-training, I seem to do better on my own rather than joining up with other Assassins. It's a long story, not worth going into.

GARFIELD: I'm besot with a long story. I had some heartfelt nostalgia and drew a scene between a mentor and a student, much in referandum to how I feel about my mentor. You guys are spitting images from what I've sketched.

{Garfield stops looking in the sketchbook, and shows it to Thragg.}

THRAGG: Are the pages magical and/or edible?

GARFIELD: Yes to the magical, no to the edible. I would advise not eating any of them, lest reality be torn asunder.

THRAGG: Well, I can safely say I'm no Tin Witch.

{Thragg peruses the sketchbook rather quickly. He then gives it back to Garfield.}

THRAGG: If I understand the imagery, you have a lot of emotional issues you're still working on.

GARFIELD: Yeah. I've also been seeking a therapist and trying to get in contact with some of my pals. Noelle's a Battel Champeen, I haven't seen Homeschool Winner in a while, and... yeah.

ZUTARA: Interesting. But, seems also tragic. Are you sure you'll be able to regain your friendships lost because of time?

GARFIELD: I'm sure I'll be fine.

{Zutara nods and looks back at Thragg.}

GARFIELD: I still have a couple friends. One's Lex, the other's Ben. The latter's been working on a Viagra project of sorts to help my transitioning.

{Zutara cocks a brow.}

ZUTARA: No foolin'? An actual Benjamin Schlanker? It's that boy?

{Short pause.}

BEN: Oh shit whaddup Great Gazzo.

{Garfield turns to Ben, his face shocked.}

GARFIELD: Augh, darn. I had been meaning to get myself situated before introducing you to my best buds.

BEN: Who are these guys?

GARFIELD: Meet Zutara Bad Moon and Thragg Nozzom.

BEN: Why do they have weird fantasy names? I mean, they sound awesome but...

ZUTARA: I want your autograph, Mr. Schlanker!

{Zutara offers her right hand, having sleeved her left hand for unknown reasons.}

BEN: I wish I got this kind of attention from the other lads, but I guess we should head back to my place so I can get a Sharpie.

{The four of them head to Ben's place of residence. End.}