Sfcu emails.cake/unamusement park

Summary

Superfield tells us about his dream Unamusement park.

Cast (in order of appearance): Superfield Credit Union, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homestar, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Coach Z

Places: Superfield Credit Union's Living Room, Pukeland

Date: April 7, 2008

Transcript

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: And the first e-mail is now being checked!

{Clicks on "Check E-Mail" button on screen. An e-mail pops up.}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: Wait, I actually got one?!? This is going better than I expected!

Subject:Roller coasters and stuff

SCU,
If you could build a theme, park, what would it be lieke? Would there be the Gⁱa_nt water slides? an tower of terror? Roller coasters that you get parachutes with because 99 percnt of the time, the roller coaster goes off rail?

Zoo977

{Reads e-mail normally, except for saying "you forgot the F" between letters C and U, and going up and down when reading "Giant".}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {typing} Wow. I hope all the e-mails I get aren't as horribly written as this one. It's like you took an axe to your modem. {clears screen} Well, Zany, theme parks are usually boring because it has an actual theme, like the wild west or Canada. No, the only fun type of theme parks are the ones that don't have a theme: amusement parks. The ones that just have generic, non-themed rides and don't have guys walking around in costumes. But my dream amusement park would actually be an unamusement park!

{Cut to Strong Badia. It now has an amusement park in it. A sign above the entrance reads "Pukeland"}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {voiceover} My dream unamusement park will be the train wreck called "Pukeland". What unamusement park is complete without a name that will make the "Jaws" theme in your head?

{Cut to a shot of The King of Town in front of the sign. The "Jaws" theme begins to play.}

THE KING OF TOWN: What? Is there a shark around here? If there is, then I definately do NOT have a 30-peice shark knife set, a ton of shark seasonings, and a gigantic barbecue that can hold up to 3 tons of shark meat at once. {whispering} Poopsmith, hurry up!

{Zoom out to show the Poopsmith hurredly trying to throw a sheet over all the items mentioned above. The "Jaws" theme stops. Cut back to the computer. Superfield clears the screen.}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {typing} A wierd thing about amusement parks is is that they always have exactly 83 parking spaces. I don't know why it's 83, but I've gone to, like, 26 amusement parks, and all of them had 83 parking spaces.

{Cut to Homestar Runner in a parking lot with Pukeland in the backround. The Gremlin is in a parking space.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...79...80...81...Ooof! {trips and falls} Oh, man, I lost count! Doing something completely pointless is can take a long time. Oh, well. I'll just start over again. 61...554...Negative 354 and a half...

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {voiceover} Maybe it's got to do with how the parking lot turns into a wasteland of chewing gum and cigarette butts in three hours.

{Cut to The Cheat and Strong Mad in a far corner of the parking lot at night. The Cheat is smoking and throwing cigarette butts around the parking lot. Strong Mad is chewing gum and spitting it out.}

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

STRONG MAD: I LOVE 83! {spits out a wad of gum}

STRONG SAD: {offscreen, far away} Aaah! My soolnds!

{Cut back to the computer. Superfield clears the screen.}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {typing} Another thing about amusement parks is that you have to have a signature ride where you have to wait in line for 3 hours to ride it.

{Cut to inside Pukeland. Strong Bad is waiting behind Homestar in line to a roller coaster. A sign over them reads "The Churner".}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {taking change out of a big jar, penny by penny} Four ninety five...four ninety six...hey, check out that bird! Oh, crap, I lost count. I'll just start over.

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} You've gotta be kidding me.

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {voicover} Of course, that doesn't mean that there have to be a lot of people in front of you. But because this is an unamusement park, the roller coaster has to be a rusted mess with sections of the track missing and at least 5 nests of woodpeckers in the supports.

{Cut to a full shot of the roller coaster. Rust appears on it, parts of track disappear, and noticable damage caused by woodpeckers shows up. Several nests appear along the track.}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {voiceover} And while amusement parks have those dumb rules where you have to be so tall to go on a ride, this one says you have to be short enough to ride, because it will cave in on itself if you're too heavy.

{Cut to a ruler with Coach Z standing next to it. The ruler has a mark that says "If you can touch this mark, you're too tall to ride this rusted style"}

COACH Z: Oh, shoot. I'm too tall to rorde! I want to get some of this rust stuff!

{Coach Z squats down so he can't reach the mark. He walks into a cart and it starts to move. The track breaks.}

COACH Z: So this is what it feels like to have your spine broken. I should do this more orften!

{Cut back to the computer. Superfield clears the screen}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {typing} As for the water part of the unamusement park, you always have to have a giant slide that barely has enough water for you to be able to slide down without getting rub burns all over your back. But that just makes cutting yourself on the bolts that jut out from the chute even worse.

{Cut to a shot of the top of a long chute with a trickle of water going through it. Strong Bad goes down the slide.}

STRONG BAD: {yelling, whooping} Wee-hoo! Ow, ow, OW! Woah! Ouch!

{Cut to the bottom of the slide. Toon stops like a tape being paused while Strong Bad is in midair coming out of the slide. He's stcratched and bleeding with several rub burns on his back.}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: Oh, I forgot! You always have to have a pool you fall into so you'll almost drown when you fall in.

{Toon resumes like normal. Strong Bad falls in the pool and doesn't come back up. Cut back to the computer. Superfield clears the screen.}

SUPERFIELD CREDIT UNION: {typing} The sad part about this is, I've never actually been to an unamusement park. They always get shut down in less than three days, so it's very hard to be in just the right place. And sometimes, it's not worth it anyway, because you spend the rest of the afternoon being interrogated by the cops. Anyways, Zinko, that's what my unamusement park would be like. Just make sure that if you ever make one, you make sure it's nowhere within 50 miles of a cop. {doorbell rings, stops typing} Crap! They're onto me! I gotta go!

{Zoom out. Superfield runs out of the frame. Homestar walks in a few moments later.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Superfield, wanna go do something pointless with me? {notices Superfield isn't there} Oh, nevermind, you aren't here. I'll just go outside and count to a thousand.

{Homestar walks outside. Cut back to the computer where The Envelope appears onscreen.}

Subject:Roller coasters and stuff

The sad part about this is, I've never actually
been to an unamusement park. They always get shut
down in less than three days, so it's very hard to
be in just the right place. And sometimes, it's not
worth it anyway, because you spend the rest of the
afternoon being interrogated by the cops. Anyways,
Zinko, that's what my unamusement park would be
like. Just make sure that if you ever make one,
you make sure it's nowhere within 50 miles of a cop.

Easter Eggs

• Click on "miles" to see a scene with Homestar.

{Homestar is standing outside Superfield's house.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nine hundred ninety seven...Nine hundred ninety eight...Nine hundred ninety ni-Oof! {gets hit with a rock}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Yes! Right in the face!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man, I lost count again. Those rocks keep hitting me! One...Two...

Fun Facts

Inside References

• A fictional amusement park was previously made in Strong Badia in theme park.